Sky once told me that there was nothing braver than a flower growing through a crack in the sidewalk. I laughed because she was always giving feelings to things that don't feel. If she was standing next to me, I'd tuck the dandelion behind her ear. Or she'd blow on it and make a wish. A hundred wishes. Or maybe just one.
Urgh. The thin, pale, ragged face stares back at me through the mirror, looking on in disgust. She was worthless, ugly and all light from her had gone. Her hair was a mess. She had no make-up on. She had deep black bags under her eyes. And she was nearly as thin as a 'dieting' actress.
I didn't used to be like this. I used to be pretty. But my whole word fell apart and with that so did my family. I sat there staring at him. The wooden frame that seemed to bring his big green eyes to life and make his beautiful big smile seem even bigger. He didn't have a single flaw until 2 years ago. We spotted it too late and then there was nothing we could do. At first we made sure he lived every moment but then our mum and dad started arguing more and he moved out for a while. When he came back he told us all he was moving to London. We coped for Elijah's sake. Nobody was listened to from by my mum apart from Elijah. This caused my oldest brother to drop out of university and do what he always wanted- buy a club- and move out away from her. My other older brother became a mute. This all happened within 7 months of the diagnosis of Elijah.
I threw the last of the small amount of clothes I owned into my suit case and knocked on my brother's bedroom door. He came out with his suitcase, in silence. We trudged down stairs and put the suitcases near the door. I looked over into the living room.
She was sat there in the same chair she had sat in for a whole year. She was no longer a mother. She hadn't been for quite a while. She only ever wore black or dark colours and we never saw her move out of that chair. We knew she went to bed late and woke up extremely early but other wise she would just sit in the same place all day in silence. On the odd occasion she would cry. At first I understood but now it just angered me. We had all fallen apart around her and she did nothing to help stop it.
I walked into the kitten where my brother was eating some kind of cereal. We were the only people, other than my mum, who lived here. I often wished I had enough money to get out, find my own place, but that wasn't to be. It is why I loved going to my fathers for a week or two. He was always running his shop and my brother just sat in his room. It felt like I had my own place. Somewhere my troubles were far. I drank a small glass of water and had a slice of toast. I hated food. Only since a year ago…
The train to London from Manchester took 2-3 hours. My bum was numb, my legs had fallen asleep and I was now tired. My brother had taken both of our suitcases and put them in the back of our father's car. My dad hugged me and gave me a huge smile, much like Elijah's. He made me happy, much more than my mum. He gave my brother a nod. A sign they both did to each other and it meant the world. We parked outside his old record collection shop. 'Eads Records' simple but effective. Me and my brother worked weekends here so he could meet up with his friends. My dad unlocked the shop left us to our own devices. Three people came in and went after buying some of my dad's vintage records.
"Well I better be off. Will you two be O.K. here?" he asked this all the time, even though he knew the answer. Me and Noah nodded. He left the keys for us to lock up and walked out. Noah but his mangled headphones in, no doubt listening to some heavy metal band.
I had been sat for three hours and only two people had come in. One came in just to use the toilet. And the second was so young they probably thought they had walked into a piece of history, stuck in the 50's.
The second one wasn't that young really he was about he same age as me but I don't stay here by choice. He wanted to be here which surprised me. This was a record collector's shop not somewhere you hang out for the afternoon. He captivated me as soon as I walked in it felt like the world had brightened around me, which was daft since I only just met him. He had his iPod in and was moving his head to the beat of what ever mysterious song he was listening to. After spending half an hour in the shop he just walked out. He didn't look in our direction or even acknowledge he was in a shop. As soon as he left I faced facts. He was never to be seen again.
The day dragged on and not a single word was said between me and my brother. It was usually like this. I blamed my mother. I blamed everything on her because it was always her fault.
"Excuse me!" an old bald man was looking at me like I killed a baby sheep. He was pissed.
"Sorry, in a whole different world! How can I help?" I pulled my jumper sleeve down feeling nervous all of a sudden.
"Just this. Keep the change." He handed me seven £50 notes for a £300 record. I entered it and put the money in. The clock hit 5 O'clock and we locked up.
"I am going to Clarence house, OK?" he nodded and headed off towards our fathers. When I arrived at Clarence House I was met by an army of my friends.
"Whoop! Thought I was never going to see you again, Sky." Harry said as he came running over to me. I was encased in a huge bear hug and a kiss was planted on my cheek.
"I was reluctant to come here... the weather is much warmer here than where I come from.. I could burn." I joked. They all laughed.
"We have news for you missy." Harry bellowed. "We have new people. They live across from my apartment." This was news to me and surprising.
"Oh really? What are they like?!"
"I have no idea but there throwing a party tonight!" William replied.
"Well what are we waiting for? Lets go!" I shouted. A huge grin on my face. London was the best therapy.
Sorry it is shite but it will get better – first chapter always the worst!
xoxoPenguin~