For the longest time, I've been wanting to write more Girl Jordan. Something beyond a one-shot series. So, in collaboration with Bmack (who designed this cover and helped with the story prompt), I bring you How to Tell Him, A Jordcoln (or Jordancoln, if you're basic and you know it) Story.
Whenever Girl Jordan announced that she was about to throw one of her famous parties, it would quickly spread amongst the students and become the talk of the whole school. It was a law of nature, much like gravity and entropy, and it stayed consistent, regardless of the year. She had been throwing these parties since elementary school, and even now in high school they generated buzz.
"Oh man, I really hope I get invited."
"I heard last year there was a fire-breathing bear!"
"Will there be booze? I hope there's booze."
There was, of course, one boy who didn't pay much attention to the hype. Lincoln Loud, seventeen years old and nearing the end of his junior year, was just telling his longtime best friend Clyde McBride exactly that. "Sorry, Clyde. Guess I just wasn't paying attention. It's cool she's having a party, but I don't know if I'll go."
"How can you not?!" his exasperated friend asked, flailing his arms around dramatically. "It's the biggest event of the year! Everyone will be there. Well, everyone cool, that is. Chandler will be there, Stella will be there… Girl Jordan is hosting, so you know it'll be good. How are you this disinterested?"
"In my defense, I did just have a huge headache of a chemistry exam," Lincoln grumbled as he opened his locker and stuffed one of his textbooks in. He reached for another and pulled it out, placed it under his armpit, and closed his locker. "I don't really have time to worry about upcoming events. Plus, Girl Jordan always invites me herself, so I'd have learned about it eventually."
And right on cue, just as she had done many times before, Girl Jordan approached by the young man's locker, flanked on either side by Mollie and Gabby (look her up). "Hey, Lincoln," she said, giving the white haired boy a friendly wave.
"Hey, Girl Jordan. Funny you should drop by just now, because me and Clyde were just talking about you. You're throwing another party, right?"
Girl Jordan nodded. "Funny you should mention that, because that's why I'm here right now."
"Told you," Lincoln whispered into Clyde's ear, before coughing to raise his tone back to normal. "What about it? Are you here to tell me that I need to do all of Mollie's homework in exchange for letting me go, because she's faaaaaaaaaailing?" he asked with a mocking grin aimed at Mollie's direction. She growled and flashed him the bird, but Girl Jordan just laughed.
"Just the first part. Um… the part where I invite you to come, that is," Girl Jordan said, reaching into her dress' pocket to put out two tickets, handing one each to Lincoln and Clyde. She, truthfully, never liked the ticket system, but it was necessary after the… 'Dog Eat Dog' incident. Who knew one guy bringing his German Shepherd could lead to the complete annihilation of a concrete swimming pool? There had to be protective measures after that fiasco.
"Great," Lincoln said, taking the ticket. "I'll try to be there."
"Try?"
"Well, you know… ever since all my older sisters moved out, I've kinda had to watch over all my younger sisters. Help them out and stuff. I mean, I'll try to see if Lucy can give me a hand then, but if not… well, I don't trust Lisa and the twins with Lily. Not after last time."
"What happened last time?" Gabby asked curiously.
"Let's just say the Tooth Fairy gave Lily enough money to start a small business," Lincoln said grimly.
"I get it," Girl Jordan started. "But if there's even the slightest chance you can show up, please take it. I really want to see you there."
God, her amber eyes were wide and begging, like a cute little puppy dog's pupils. How was Lincoln supposed to resist?
"I'll… I'll try," said Lincoln, waving his ticket once over his snowy head before stuffing it in his shirt's pocket. "Thanks for the invite, Girl Jordan. See you Saturday night."
"Alright, see you then," she said, waving him off as he and Clyde marched down the hall. When the two young men were completely out of earshot, she tucker her hand into her other one, pressing them both to her chest. "I love you," she murmured, so faintly that even Mollie and Gabby by her side could barely hear her. Of course, they still did, and they turned to look at her.
"You know, all of this would be so much easier if you just told him you liked him and took him to Burger King or something," Mollie told her as she rolled her eyes.
"There's no way he'd go for a date at Burger King," Girl Jordan responded.
"Why not? Despite the hairless baby cheeks and lack of muscles, he is still a guy. Guys love fast food!"
"Well, I think that's not romantic enough," Girl Jordan crossed her arms angrily. "Besides, we already got the party going. It'll be fun for everyone."
"But the only reason you're having this party is because you want to confess to him then. It's a waste of money, is all I'm saying."
"There is no wasting money when it comes to true love," Girl Jordan sighed, red hearts popping in her eyes. Mollie shrugged at Gabby; neither of them could really see what she saw in him. Lincoln was a pretty average guy in their eyes. He wasn't as strong as a jock, smart as a geek, wealthy as a prep, cool as a bad boy, artsy as a goth or even just as funny as one of clown kids (when they weren't miming, that is). Girl Jordan usually had good taste in everything. So why him?
And then Mollie remembered that she didn't really care.
"Lucy, can I talk to you when we get home?"
Lucy wasn't really paying attention to him, despite how close they were sitting in the van. She was simply staring out the half-open window of Vanzilla's shotgun seat, sighing to herself as she watched the other cars go by. Her brain was in the clouds, and it took Lincoln tapping on her shoulder to bring her back down to Earth. "Hey, Luce, you with me?"
"Sigh. What is it?"
"I asked you if I could talk to you when we get home," Lincoln repeated, turning his eyes back to the road. "I need to ask you for a favor, and I'd rather not have you surprise me with some conflict of interest because you have some appointment at a poetry slam or something."
"Sure, we can talk," Lucy responded in her gravelly tone.
"Great. Right now I need to talk to some other kids," Lincoln growled, looking into his rear-view mirror at his younger sisters. As Lucy mumbled to herself that she shouldn't be called a kid, Lincoln barked "Lana! Lisa! What are you two doing?"
"She's trying to take my frog!"
"It's for science, Lana! Within this amphibian's cells, I can find the cure for a wide range of diseases!"
"Can you find the cure for your lisp? You're spitting all over me," Lola complained as she filed her nails in between the feuding sisters.
"Guys, stop fighting. Lincoln can't focus if you're all fighting," said young Lily in the seat behind them, like the little angel she was.
"Thank you, Lily," Lincoln thanked tearfully, before regaining his sterner look. "Now Lisa, give Lana her frog back. If you really need to torture an animal that badly, you can steal one from the pond at the park."
"Glad to see you're being a responsible supervisor," Lucy snorted sarcastically. If her eyes were visible, they would have been rolling.
"Fine, fine, very well. I'll relinquish the animal," Lisa admitted defeat, giving Lana her green frog.
Lincoln lay his head back, and took a deep breath, before a small smile sprouted on his lips. The family dynamic had shifted over the years, obviously, with the departure of each of the older sisters. They all went off to find different paths, but no matter what, they did stick together. Currently, Leni was living with Lori, Bobby, and their first baby. She was great with their child, often babysitting when Lori and Bobby went out for dates. As for Luna, Luan and Lynn, they still lived together. They roomed in the same apartment, as Luna and Lynn attended college while Luan turned her small clowning business into a money-making machine. It wasn't much, but Luan had hopes.
And with Lynn's departure, Lincoln was left in charge, and he found himself acting a lot like Lori. He finally understood what it felt like to be the one driving everyone home from school, and just how precious quiet was when he did. And technically, he had it easier. She had to drive everyone home from school. And in the end, things really didn't change much. Lucy still sighed, the twins still fought, Lisa still crossed the line of scientific ethics, and Lily still… existed.
Okay, maybe she was the one thing that changed a lot about their family life.
Rolling into the driveway of their home, everyone but Lincoln and Lucy sprang out of the car and rushed inside for lunch. As Lincoln unbuckled his seat belt, he noticed Lucy hadn't been wearing her's when she just opened the door and got out. In his defense, she did wear all black. "You know you should really wear your seat belt. It might save your life one day."
"I know. That's why I don't."
Lincoln's eyes widened with shock, and Lucy smiled slyly. "Relax. I'm kidding. I just forgot this time."
"Yeah, okay."
"Well, I doubt that you wanted to speak to me about car safety."
"Okay, here's the thing; over the weekend, Girl Jordan's going to be throwing a huge rager for all the kids in high school with tickets. Like me. And, since I know you won't be going to that party because you hate the music they play..."
"I hate the people that go."
"Right. Anyways… I'm just wondering if I can trust you to stay home and watch over everyone else. Mom and Dad probably won't let me go if you're not around."
"I'd love to watch over our sisters, Lincoln, but I was supposed to meet up with Silas on Saturday night for our weekend graveyard stroll. I might be willing to cancel on him, though… if..."
"If what?"
The grin on her face widened, revealing her sharp canines. They were the spitting image of vampire fangs, and Lincoln wondered if she had been sharpening them herself.
"...If you'll clean out the bat guano in my room for the whole summer."
"What?! No, that's gross."
Lucy shrugged. "Guess you'll be staying home with our siblings. It's not all that bad. You can probably film yourself traumatically pranking them and get millions of views for it."
"Come on, Luce. I really need to go!"
"Why? Why are you so desperate to attend a sweat-fest party where people don't even wear masquerade masks? Unless… this isn't about the party itself. Maybe it's about the girl running it..."
Lincoln's cheeks reddened. "I don't know what you mean."
"Lincoln and Jordan, sitting in a tree," Lucy sang in her monotone voice, "K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes the eternal sealing of one's soul in a coffin…"
"I-It's not like that! Especially that last part. Me and her are just friends!" he insisted.
"Are you sure? You two are awfully… friendly, for friends."
"I… I..."
Truthfully, Lincoln couldn't deny everything Lucy had said. He had been especially prone to crushes in his younger days. He had developed feelings for nearly every girl in his school… and it was indeed every. Ms. DiMartino is very unf.
But while his feelings for other girls tended to fade with time, or with specific events driving a wedge through them (he still missed Ronnie Anne), his feelings for Girl Jordan were a little different. They weren't as burning or intense, which was why he never went goo-goo-gah-gah for him in any visible way, but there was something lasting about them. He really couldn't explain it if he wanted to.
A cool hand touched his burning cheek, and Lincoln looked up to see Lucy smiling softly at him. "I can tell this matters a lot to you, for 'whatever reason'," she told him, "So I'll change the deal a little. Just do my chores and homework for a week, and we'll call it even."
"Thank you, Luce," he hugged her tightly, choking the goth. "This means so much to me. I promise I'll do the best job I can with your chores."
"Gr-great. Now let me go!"
"Whoops, sorry," he chuckled, letting her go. Lucy gasped for air, spinning around to him as she nursed her windpipe.
"Lynn's hugs weren't as deadly."
As the girl in black went inside, Lincoln smiled to himself. He put his hands flat on his hips, digging his fingers into his pocket. He didn't know what the future held for him, but one thing was for sure… he was going to that party!
He cheered loudly, tossing his hands in the air and falling into the grass with bursting laughter. He rolled around, as happy as could be… until Mr. Grouse stuck his head out the window and screamed "Loud! Stop being so loud!"
"Sorry, Mr. Grouse," the teen shouted back. That didn't put a damper on his mood, though. He was still going to that party. As far as he was concerned, a swarm of pigeons could all dive bomb him with their little white shits and he would still be grinning like a madman. Of course, he didn't want to risk it, so he ran inside. He was pretty hungry for lunch, too.
Saturday could not have come fast enough. But when it finally did, Lincoln and Clyde walked their way to Girl Jordan's large home, both extremely excited for the night to come.
"I can't wait for this party, dude!" Clyde shouted with his trembling fists balled. "It's going to be so awesome! Who knows, we might even score with some girls!"
"Aren't you dating Penelope?"
Clyde grinned. "Well, we know I'm going to score for sure. She was invited to the party, right?" Lincoln nodded, and Clyde repeated "Yep, we know I'm going to score with my girl. So what about you? You have any girl you plan to go after? Or guy, I guess."
"Nope. Haven't really thought about it," Lincoln said. He was lying, and Clyde knew it. But the African American wisely decided not to push him on it. Not that he really could have, because at that moment they arrived at the entrance to Girl Jordan's party. The walls were high, preventing them from seeing much, but the sounds they heard enticed them. They could hear loud hip-hop blaring, their classmates laughing and screaming, and loud dives into the pool. They were beyond excited to get inside, and who should greet them at the door besides the woman of the hour herself…
"Hey guys, glad you made it," Girl Jordan chirped as the two approached a small line. She took the tickets of Haiku and Chandler in front of them, before she swiped their tickets. "Hope you two have fun."
"Thanks, Girl Jordan. Just one question… is the fruit punch spiked?"
"We have two bowls. One spiked, one not."
Clyde let out a sigh of relief, before tapping his friend's shoulder. "Well, see you inside, Linc. I'll be looking for Penelope now."
"Sure thing, bud," Lincoln said as he watched his bespectacled friend run off. He was ready to enter as well, before he felt a soft hand on his shoulder. He turned to Girl Jordan, who shyly smiled at him.
"I… I'm really glad to see you here, Lincoln," she said softly. A light blush bloomed on her face, and her other hand reached up to her hair and began twirling it around her finger. Lincoln smiled at her and nodded. "I'm glad I could make it."
He stepped inside, and Girl Jordan watched him go.
Alright, Phase One of getting him here… check! Now onto Phase Two… muahahahahahahaha…
Yep, crazy Jordan thoughts are back. I'll never stop enjoying writing them.