(A/N) Yo, yo, yo. I'm back another parody, and some news: I'm almost done with the new chapter for Shine on You Crazy Diamond, so for those of you patient darlings who are losing your minds, your wait is almost over. Yay!
Anywho, this parody is based off of "Popular" from the musical Wicked. Can you guys tell that I really like musicals? XD
You guys know the drill, call out errors.
Enjoy!
[GABRIEL]
Cassie - now that we've stopped trying to kill each other, I've decided to
make you my new project.
[CASTIEL]
*sweats* You really don't have to do that.
[GABRIEL]
I know. That's what makes me so nice!
[CASTIEL]
Uh-oh.
[GABRIEL]
Whenever I see someone
Who's not as fun as I
(And let's face it - who isn't
Not as fun as I?)
My tender heart
Tends to start to bleed
And when I see my- uh- sister's
Having trouble with her mister
I know, I know exactly what you need
And even with your grace
It's still the toughest case I've yet to face
But don't worry - I'm determined to succeed
Follow my lead
And
Yes, indeed...
We'll.
Be.
Like.
Winchesters!
We'll be like the Win-ches-ters!
I'll teach you the proper ploys to hunt with the boys
Little ways to exorcise, ooh!
I'll show you what plaid to wear
Just like Sammy there
Everything that really counts
To be Winchesters!
You'll be like a Win-ches-ter!
You'll hang with the friendly saps
You'll paint devil's traps
Know the slang you've got to know
So let's start
'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go:
Don't be offended by my frank analysis
Think of it as personality dialysis
Now that I've chosen to become a pal, a
Sister and adviser
There's nobody wiser
Not when it comes to Winchesters -
I know about Winchesters! *eyebrow waggle*
And with an assist from me
To be who you'll be
Instead of a baby who you were—well, are!
They can't stop you, sugar
being like a Winchester!
*awkward pause*
... Er... *shrugs*
La la, la la
You're gonna be a
Win-ches-ter!
When I see depressing creatures
With wings, grace, and other features
I remind them on their own behalf
To think of
Celebrated hunters, and the
'Specially Bobby Singer!
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don't make me laugh!
They had the Winchesters! Puh-lease!
They hang with the Winchesters!
It's not about aptitude
If you're really screwed
It's just very shrewd to be
Friendly with a Winchester
Like me! *smirks*
[CASTIEL]
Uh, sister... I'm unsure of what you're trying achieve...
[GABRIEL]
Cassie... *pats Castiel's shoulder* Shut up. Okay, stand... I will now turn your trench coat into a Winchester-worthy flannel shirt!
[CASTIEL]
Why?
[GABRIEL]
Shut your cakehole... Stand up... *snaps fingers* Flannel. (Nothing Happens)
*snaps fingers again* Flannel! (Still Nothing Happens). C'mon grace, work with me here!
[CASTIEL]
Do... Do you want me to try?
[GABRIEL]
Nah, just wear the trench coat... it's... foxy! *sexy purr* Now, for the finishing touch. *brings angel blade from seemingly out of nowhere*
[CASTIEL]
Where were you hiding tha- Nevermind. I don't want to know...
[GABRIEL]
Now, don't cut yourself, Cassie. *hands Castiel the angel blade and appraises her*
Well, Cassie, we'll make a hunter of you yet! Now I just need to to teach you how to patch yourself up the human way... I'll have to shoot you for this...
[CASTIEL]
*laughs nervously* Whoops, I think I hear Dean praying! I have to go! *exits*
[GABRIEL]
No, no, no, come back! *scoffs* Unbelievable. *calls after Castiel* You're welcome! ...Brat.
And though you protest
That I don't know best
I know clandestinely
You're gonna grin and bear it
Your new-found hunter clarity
La la la la
You'll be a Winchester-
Just not quite as "Winchester"
As me!
(A/N) What do you guys think? Funny? Nah? Hope you guys liked it, I have a lot of fun writing this one. For some reason, Fem!Gabriel, and awkward Fem!Castiel are really fun to write. Tell me what you guys think! Also, I'm more than happy to taken suggestions for new parodies.