Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even a spider!
AN: Don't ask. Just … yeah… don't!
(Simply put, I just had a big-assed spider drop in from the ceiling & land on my computer screen & crawled around. NOT FUCKING COOL! AT ALL!
This is the result. Shoot me!
One-shot only…at least it fucking better be!)
Based upon the British TV series on BBC "Sherlock" with Benedict Cumberbatch & Martin Freeman.
Summary: John catches Sherlock & Irene in a rather embarrassing situation.
Who Invented Spiders Anyway?
John came into 221B carrying a few shopping bags. He was about to head for the kitchen when he noticed both Sherlock & Irene sitting back to back on the table. "What's going on?" he asked.
"Oh nothing," Sherlock obviously lied.
"Thank GOD you're here!" Irene smoothed out a wrinkle in her white dress. "Can you please kill that monster?"
"What did Sherlock do NOW?" John complained.
"HEY!" Sherlock pouted.
"Not him!" Irene pointed to the floor.
John turned his gaze to the spot. He put the bags on the couch. He then glanced back & forth several times between the pair on the table & the gigantic wolf spider bigger than one's hand sitting dead center on the carpet. John burst out laughing.
Hearing the sound, the spider darted forward a few inches, earning a scream from Irene who pushed harder against Sherlock who covered his own yelp with a pathetic cough. The spider stopped scurrying around, listening intently to the new strange sounds. Oh dear Lord what to do & where to go now?
"Kill it yourselves!" John laughed, leaving. "WUSSES!"
"Now what?" Irene whimpered.
A long moment passed. "Do you wish to mate? We could use the table top for support." Irene glared at him. "What? It was an honest question."
"Shut up!" Irene pushed Sherlock off.
He landed with a loud thud right beside the big spider. Sherlock & spider scurried off in opposite directions out of sight.
Several minutes later, Irene called out, "John? Sherlock?" A pause." ...Spider? Oh little spider?..."
No answer. Irene was completely alone on the table.
(I'm sorry…no not really. I HATE spiders. 'nuff said!)