A/N: I obviously didn't come up with the story Sasuke tells Naruto, but I came up with the rest. Naruto and its characters don't belong to me. Enjoy!
Naruto and I were sent on a mission to deliver stupid files. I can't fucking believe this. Like, what the hell, I thought that's what the birds were for. We've been running all day to Sunagakure and even though I would never say it out loud, my feet hurt, my back hurt, and I am extremely tired. Naruto still looks like he's rearing to go and I know it's because he has a multitude of chakra and I don't. Oh well. At least he doesn't drag me down… often.
"Sasuke! The Inn is up ahead!" Naruto screams in my ear. I swear I'm going to go deaf.
"Dobe! Be quiet!" I say. "Anyone could be watching us! Besides, I'm right fucking next to you!"
"Heh heh. Sorry, teme."
So our hokage, Tsunade, set up a place for us to stay because she knew it would take well over a day or two for us to get to Suna. I glance over to Naruto in his green jacket and he looks really concentrated on something. I try and see what it is, but I think it's just the inn. Maybe he is as stoked to get there as I am. And hungry.
"Ahh, here it is," Naruto says with his hands behind his head and a big smile plastered on his face. "Maybe we can get something to eat!" I can practically see his mouth drooling as he rubs his hands together.
"They only serve food at designated times, idiot."
"Awh! Why?" Tears threaten to fall from his eyes until a look of realization seems to smack his face. "I brought ramen!" He yells showing his bright teeth.
I cross my arms. "Yuck," I say without thinking.
"What do you mean 'yuck'? Ramen is the shit! Shut the fuck up, teme. You don't even know. When you're starving, you aren't getting any of my delicious food."
"I'd rather starve than eat that crap anyway."
"Good," Naruto retaliates.
"Good," I spit out. Naruto huffs and walks into the inn. I follow and see the lady behind the counter is on the phone and already pissed off about something. She's kind of large and probably in her mid-forties. Glasses line the bridge of her nose and her hair is short, brown, and curly. I'm assuming Naruto is making it worse because he won't stop screaming and telling her to hurry up. She shoots him a glare.
"Excuse me, sir! Can't you see I'm on the damn phone! Take a seat on the bench and I'll get to you after I take this call! Shit!" She pushes a button on the phone and I'm guessing the caller was on hold through that little spiel. Hopefully.
I can tell that Naruto is totally stressing her out so after she hung up the phone, I told Naruto to stay put and went to talk to her. "Hello, I'm Sasuke Uchiha. I apologize for my moron of a teammate. He really can be bothersome sometimes," I'm already bringing a smile to her face, somehow. "Miss, we are very tired from running from Konoha to get here, so could we please just receive our room key to be on our way?" I give her a fake smile that seems to work and she reaches behind her to grab a key with the names "Uchiha" and "Uzumaki" on it.
When she hands them to me, I smile again and say 'thank you very much'. Of course, as soon as I turn the corner I am back to my impassive face. I hear Naruto's footsteps behind me and he starts yelling at me again.
"Sasuke! I didn't know you could be so nice! Why were you smiling at her! Why didn't you just demand the keys like I thought you would—"
"Naruto. Please. Shut. The fuck. Up. I can't handle this! I can't listen to this." I put my hands up to my ears and hope to God he stops talking. He doesn't.
"Don't tell me to shut the fuck up! How about you! Fucking smooth talker bullshit—"
"NARUTO," I yell. "Be quiet! It isn't that hard! Talk like a normal human being!"
"Why should I?" I clench my fists. He is testing me.
"Just do it," I say calmly. I'm caught off guard when he actually shuts up. At least I'll be able to take a shower and go right to sleep on a bed in here. We arrive at the room and I go to put the key in but Naruto screams again.
"Let me do it! Let me open the door!" I give him a 'what-the-fuck' face but hand over the key anyway. He excitedly opens the room and we are both horrified at what we see.
One full size bed.
"Oh hell no!" I yell. I'm so frustrated! What is this shit! Why would Tsunade do this to me?
"God, please no! Why is this happening to me?" Naruto gets on his knees with his hands facing upwards in the air. "WHY?"
Then we look at each other for a few seconds before becoming determined. "It's mine!" We scream at the same time and dash towards the bed. The door closes from the wind and Naruto and I wrestle each other until I knock him on the floor. He doesn't care, I guess, because he immediately jumps on top of me and I fall off.
"Ha! I win, stupid teme!" He sits on his knees and has his fists on his hips with a big victory smile gracing his face.
"If that's the case I won first, dumbass!"
"Ugh! I'm not sleeping on that hard ass floor." Naruto crosses his legs and sits in frustration.
"Well neither am I!" I crawl up on the bed and sit facing him, realizing how cold it is in here. "We can decide later. I'm taking a shower."
I go to the bathroom and set my dirty headband on the sink counter. In the mirror I see my face has dirt all over it. When I look down, I see my shoes do, as well. Disgusting. I kick them off and pull my socks from my feet. My jacket's unzipped and hanging on a hook on the back of the door and I lift my shirt from my torso. I turn the water on to heat up while I continue to undress.
Then Naruto barges the fuck in. What the fuck!
"Sasuke—oh. Sorry." He's staring.
"What!" Make him stop staring.
"Uh, I came to ask how long… Oh! How long is it uh, going t-to take you to finish?" He's still staring at my torso and seeing a blush on his face gives me a blush on mine.
"Like ten minutes! Get the hell out!"
"Hm." He leaves wide-eyed and I look in the mirror. I don't blame him.
I finish getting undressed by pulling my pants and boxers down in one quick swoop. I take a step into the shower and the hot water hits my throbbing back muscles. I stand there relaxing for a minute or two before actually washing my hair and body. I'm thinking about staying in there longer to use up the hot water before Naruto gets to it, but the thought leaves me when I stretch my arms up and prepare to get out.
I reach for a towel only to find that—ha. Oh fuck—there are none. Today is a shit day. Guess I'll call the dobe.
"Oi! Naruto! Come here!"
"U-uh, why?"
"I need you to go to the front desk and get some towels! The maid forgot to put them in here or something!"
"That lady hates me!" I know. I know she hates him.
I groan loudly. "Just be nice to her! Apologize and ask for some towels!" As long as he keeps his cool, it'll be okay. If not, I'm not coming out of this bathroom and I guess Naruto gets the bed.
I hear him groan, too, and he stomps out the room, slamming the door. Please be nice. Please get the towels. Please don't figure out that if you don't bring the towels, you get the whole bed. He has to bring them. If he doesn't he won't get to shower because I'm in here. He won't get to piss or brush his teeth either. So HA.
I swear I've been waiting for a good twenty minutes in here when I finally hear the door open. I immediately yell, "Naruto! Naruto did you get them!"
"Yeah, teme, I got them." His voice is way too calm to be considered normal from Naruto. I hear the door open so I hide behind the shower curtain. I listen to the towel fall to the floor and I thank Naruto for being so cooperative. After I get out and dry myself, I wrap the towel around my waist and leave the bathroom to get fresh clothes. I catch Naruto lying on the bed beginning to fall asleep.
"Hey! Wake up! Go shower, you smell! And get your nasty shoes off." I stare at him with angry eyes and he groans as he lifts himself up and thinks for a second.
He looks at me and yells, "Why are you telling me what to do on my bed?"
I look at him with a straight face and say, "I'm not sleeping on the fucking floor."
Naruto looks me dead in the eye and says, "Me either," before heading to the bathroom.
Fine. Shit. Like I care about his lame threat. He's not getting this bed. I dust off the dried dirt from Naruto's clothes and shoes. I hear the shower start and I know I'm good to change into my sweats to sleep in. It's like the universe hates me because although I try to put them on as fast as I can, Naruto still manages to see me naked. I see his towel lying on the bed, still folded and I know why that's why he's back from the bathroom. I should have seen it! A shinobi should have noticed that before he started changing!
Well. This is embarrassing. Our eyes meet and we are both beet red. I quickly finish pulling my pants up before putting on a loose shirt. I grab Naruto's towel to toss it to him and he easily catches it. He's apologizing like crazy and yeah, I'm mortified, but there's nothing I care about more right now than food and sleep. He runs back into the bathroom and I regret not getting to the inn earlier for the dinner service. I remember Naruto said he has ramen. No, it isn't my favorite, but hey. Dude's gotta eat.
I dig through Naruto's things and find a plethora of ramen cups. I fill the coffee pot up with only water to heat it up before I pour it in two cups. I'm making Naruto one. So what? I hear the shower stop and I know he'll be out any minute. I look for some forks, but all I can find are spoons. They'll have to do. I mix up the noodles and start eating mine just as Naruto walks out of the bathroom. Here we go.
"Teme! What the fuck!" He yells from behind me while I eat ramen on the bed with my spoon. "That's my ramen! You said it was gross so I told you not to eat it!" I look over at him and I almost choke. I don't remember ever thinking Naruto had a nice body, but I do right now. I blush a little, but I doubt he notices because he's too angry about me eating his ramen. "You made two cups? Fucking fatass!"
I swallow the noodles in my mouth and tell him, "One's for you." He looks shocked that I'd make him some food, even if it's just instant ramen.
"Oh. Thanks." He reached for the cup but I stop him because he's still in a towel and I need him to cover up those abs before I turn gay.
"Go get dressed before I eat this myself," I say, gesturing to his ramen. He walks back into the bathroom with clothes from his pack, and when he is gone, I feel relief. I sigh and question my sexuality while I slurp up some more noodles and broth. Fucking Naruto. What's so great about that guy that my body can't control itself? I can't stand him. He comes running out of the bathroom in less than two minutes and reaches for his ramen right away.
"Mmm, teme! This isn't bad! No where near as good as mine though…" He looks let down. This bastard.
"How can yours be better! You just add water!" I scream at him.
"But you added too much and now it's too watery!" If he doesn't stop complaining, I swear I will tear his throat out.
"Oh, shutup and eat your damn food!" He sticks his tongue out at me and I do the same to him. When did I get so immature?
"Haha, nice to see you lighten up a little for once," Naruto said as he points his spoon at me.
"Quit talking to me."
"Ouch," he starts. "Why so hateful all of a sudden?" I don't say anything and I watch Naruto throw his cup away and go back to his bag to make another one. I'm too sleepy to tell him he's eating way too much sodium, and I figure he won't care either way. I lay my head down on the pillow and pull the covers over myself. Naruto begins screaming at me as soon as my head hits the cushion. "Teme! What the fuck do you think you're doing on my bed?"
I don't move or open my eyes. "Please. I'm not letting you take this from me." I blow my bangs out of my face.
"Well I'm not fucking sleeping on the fucking floor. Fuck." Naruto's voice is so serious. It's not even a big deal. It's one night and I'm already lying here so I'm not going to get up. I'm comfortable. Shit. I'm preparing for him to shout again but nothing comes out of his mouth.
From the left side of the bed, I barely open my eyes and I see Naruto get up to turn off the lights. He tosses the empty ramen cups in the trash and then makes his way to the bed. What the hell does he think he's doing? He moves the sheets over from the right side and sits down before lying next to me and covering himself with the blankets.
"Ehem." I clear my throat.
"What? I'm compromising! Neither of us wants the floor, so we can both have the bed! I don't mind. And if you care so much, you sleep on the floor!" He has a point. I don't want the floor and I'm so comfy and tired. Plus, it is still kind of cold in here and twice the body heat will warm the sheets up faster.
"Fine," I say. "Let me fall asleep."
"Okay, teme. But will you do something for me first?" I feel Naruto shift his weight and I'm guessing he's facing me. I can't tell because I'm facing the opposite direction.
I groan loudly in frustration. My eyes hurt. "No."
"Please! I really really want you to do this!" I automatically think dirty things and feel my face heat up.
"What do you fucking want, dobe?" I'm so irritated. The only think I want coming for me is sleep!
"Will you uh, tell me a story?" He sounds embarrassed. He should be.
I can't believe what I'm hearing. Why the hell does he want a story? "What?"
"Well, I've never just slept together with someone like this so I could never ask anyone before… I know little kids get their parents to tell them stories before bed, but…" His voice trails off and I feel kind of bad for him. I remember my mom used to read me bedtime stories and it's sad that Naruto could never feel the love of that. "Please?" I can't believe I'm doing this.
I sigh and roll over to face him. "Fine. I'll tell you a stupid story." I see his face light up and he's smiling really big. His smile shines in the dark. I can't help but grin at him and my eyes soften. He looks at me anxiously. "This one used to be my favorite when my mom told it to me." I see him waiting for me to begin, and I clear my throat. "Once upon a time—" I look at Naruto and he reminds me of a little kid. Cute. "There lived a boy named Jack. He was very poor and lived with his widowed mother. She told him to sell their only cow for some more money." I see the happiness on Naruto's face because I'm actually going through with this story. Now I have to finish it.
"Jack walked to the market and met a man who said he would give Jack some magic beans for the cow. After the trade, he ran home excitedly to his mother, but was only greeted with anger. She furiously took the beans from his hand and threw them out the window from his stupid decision. Jack was extremely upset and decided to go to bed without dinner."
"What happened next, teme?" As an adult, Naruto should not be this excited about a little kid story.
"Shutup, dobe! Let me finish!" He nods and looks at me. His lips part and eyes slightly widen in expectancy.
"When he woke up the next morning," I continue. "Jack discovered that his magic beans grew into a giant beanstalk. He climbed it all the way to the top and discovered a beautiful kingdom in the clouds where a giant and his wife lived." The fantasy of the story has Naruto's eyes gleaming with delight and anticipation. Good Lord I'm tired. "Jack went to the wife and begged for some food, telling her how hungry he was from no dinner the previous night. The woman was empathetic and gave him some milk and bread to eat. While he was eating his food, the giant came home. He looked very intimidating and strong.
"He said, 'Fee-fifo-fum. I smell the blood of an Englishman. Be he alive, or be he dead, I'll grind his bones to make my bread.'" Naruto laughs at my attempt to do a deep, scary voice. I don't care though. I'm about to fall asleep. "The wife assures the giant that there is no human there, so he sets down his stacks of gold coins and heads to bed. When he falls asleep, Jack steals a stack and heads home to show his mother—"
"That dick!" Naruto yells.
"Calm down; it's just a story."
"They took him in and he stole from them!" Naruto, shutup. My ears are too sensitive right now. You're too loud.
I choose ignore him and continue on. If he wants to listen, he'll stop talking. "His mother was ecstatic and they lived well for awhile." Good. He stopped. "But they soon needed more money. Jack later ascended the beanstalk and yet again, asked the wife for food. She gave him milk and bread and the giant came home while Jack was eating. Terrified, Jack hid under the bed."
"What a pussy," Naruto mumbled. "I would've beaten the shit out of that giant."
"And you said Jack was a dick? You would beat someone else up in their own home when you weren't welcome and just barged in?" Seriously, he isn't rational at all.
"You always ruin it, teme!" You're the one fucking interrupting me.
"Well I guess I won't finish the story—" I begin.
Naruto cuts me off. Again. "No! I'm sorry! Please finish it!" He grabs my shirt and scoots closer to me. His face is inches from mine, so I push him back a little bit and continue the story. He's still holding onto my shirt. Ugh.
"Okay. So he hid under the bed. Again, the giant yelled, 'Fee-fifo-fum. I smell the blood of an Englishman. Be he alive, or be he dead, I'll grind his bones to make my bread.' His wife assured him there was no boy and the giant went to his room. He took a goose from his shelf and told it 'lay'. The goose laid a golden egg—"
"Let me guess. The kid stole it?" Naruto… shut the hell up.
"Do you want me to tell the damn story or not?"
"Yes! Yes I do! I'm sorry! I won't interrupt anymore!" He's close to me again, but I don't do anything about it this time.
I begin. Again. "When the giant went to bed, Jack stole the goose and ran home to his pleasantly surprised mother.
"A few days later, he climbed the beanstalk again." Naruto is about to interrupt, so I widen my eyes and shut my mouth in order to threaten him. He closes his mouth and stares at me, waiting for me to continue. "He met the wife for a third time and asked for food again. She gave him bread and milk as usual and the giant came home while Jack was eating once more. The ferocious giant yelled 'Fee-fifo-fum. I smell the blood of an Englishman. Be he alive, or be he dead, I'll grind his bones to make my bread.' The wife told him, 'Don't be silly! There's no boy in here!' And for a third time, when the giant slept, Jack stole something; a beautiful golden harp. However…"
Naruto is clenching my shirt and we could almost be considered cuddling. Sometime a minute or two ago, my arms found their way around his back and his head met my chest. His hair is so close to my nose and it smells clean and delicious from the shampoo. It's kind of comfortable in this chilling room. He's so warm.
"This time," I go on, "the harp cried, 'Master! Help! Someone is stealing me!' The giant awoke and started chasing Jack. Nevertheless, Jack was quick! He out-ran the giant and began to make his way down the beanstalk." Naruto's fingers are still wrapped around my shirt and I'm sure it's going to stretch it out. Good thing I only wear it at night.
"Jack zoomed down to the ground and put the golden harp inside of the house. He swiftly found an axe and began to chop down the beanstalk while the giant was climbing down. He finished before the giant could catch him; killing the giant along with the beanstalk."
"Like… dead?" Naruto asks.
"Like dead," I repeat. Then I move on with the story. My hand rubs the back of his head through his damp, but soft hair. I can hear my voice is a lot softer than normal when I talk to Naruto. "The giant is dead, but Jack and his mother have all they need to stay happily ever after. Coins for money, a goose that lays golden eggs to eat or sell, a harp that can play the most beautiful music and bring a smile to his mother's face. He brought his mother happiness and that made him happy, too." I bring my chin to the top of Naruto's head when I hear him speak.
"Thanks, Sasuke." I think he's smiling by the tone of his voice. I chuckle a little, feeling this has somehow brought us closer together. I'm glad he asked me to tell him a bedtime story. It made me remember something I miss about my own past.
"Not a problem." I feel myself drifting off and I hear Naruto's breathing become slow and even. I kiss the top of his head and nod off to sleep myself, only to wake up in the same position the next morning.
A/N
I hope you guys liked it! No lemon in this one, sorry. ): I might give my next story a lemon to please you!
Thanks for reading! Please review! (: