My friend Sky has been possessed by XANA and I was assigned to write a fanfiction in a week as the first of three challenges to free him. I struggled a lot with this fic, and I am not sure if I like the end result, but it is my deadline and I have eight minutes to get this posted before midnight.
I inhaled for the first time in three months. "Ah…" I exhaled, inhaled again. What an incredible feeling, breathing. It was amazing what some could take for granted.
I shut my eyes more tightly for a moment, eyelashes softly brushing against my cheeks before easing them open. If it were up to me, I would walk around the whole day without my eyes open, but I had tried this once before, and ended up running into a few walls before conceding at last that perhaps it was a bad idea. Sight was overrated. So was hearing. It was those other three. Taste, smell, touch. Especially touch. What a magnificent thing, being able to reach out and hold something, to feel it in your hands. It could be hot or cold, rough or smooth, hard or soft, and endless amount of combinations.
I sat up and felt the pajamas rustle against my skin, shifting to fit my form. I ran my fingers over the intricately-patterned wood grain until the cool touch of metal brushed me. I picked up the glasses and put them on, their gentle pressure settling on the bridge of my nose as the world came into sharper focus. What now? Oh, yes. There was class to attend. I stood and searched through the drawers until I found the appropriate items of clothing. I gathered them into my arms and walked, barefoot, down the hall.
Warm water trickled off of my body as I got out of the shower and snatched up a towel. Running the cloth down by arms and across my face, I started getting dressed. I pulled my shirt over my head, enjoying the sensation as fabric once again clung lightly to my skin. Towel around my neck, (this, judging from the other boys in the bathroom, seemed to be the fashion) I trotted to the sinks and examined the face in the mirror. Blond hair, the color of afternoon sunlight, and bright blue eyes to match the theme. Skin, a little too pale, and round glasses. None of it mine, of course. "Borrowed" from the original owner, who, at the moment, was fast asleep. In a way, I had done him a favor. He would have overslept.
I squeezed toothpaste onto the brush and put it into my mouth. Minty. Admittedly, toothpaste was toothpaste, and did not taste all that great. However, it had been far too long before I had tasted anything. At that moment, Colgate 12-hour Protection was the best flavor that existed on this overpopulated planet. I scrubbed the bristles against my teeth, still caught up in the incredible taste.
"Hey, Einstein."
Einstein, Albert. German theoretical physicist, born March 14th, 1879. Best known for- I gave my database brain a prod, reminding myself that the speaker had not meant the man literally. For one thing, it was impossible, since Albert Einstein had been dead since 1955. And if someone had somehow managed to resurrect the dead, they most certainly would not be in the boys' bathroom of a French boarding school, but being studied thoroughly by hundreds of scientists. My observations indicated that "Einstein" was the nickname of Jeremie Belpois. Oh. Right. I turned to face the two people approaching me.
The one had dark brown hair that appeared slightly ruffled, having just finished toweling off, and forest-green eyes had been the one who had spoken. I spat into the sink and ran the back of my hand across my lips to wipe away any remaining foam. "Good morning, Ulrich," I replied.
The other had blond hair with very fake-looking purple dyed in. At the moment, it flopped over damply, but usually he had it caked with gel so that it stood up like an arrow. His eyes were a bright violet, which, strangely, was natural. Weird. His name, I had long since concluded, suited him well. "What're you so happy about, Einstein?" Odd asked, his voice high-pitched and grating.
I gazed at him calmly. "Nothing particularly," I answered honestly. If anything, it tended to be the opposite. "Why do you ask?"
"You were just smiling kinda strangely, that's all," Ulrich supplied. "Anyway, are you going to class today, or are you going to the factory to work more on William's recovery program?"
I swallowed. Here it was at last, the major decision. I entered this boy's body this morning with a specific purpose in mind. But here was the perfect opportunity to do damage to my enemies, set them back for at least a few months if not indefinitely. I was sorely tempted to say that I was going to work on the program and spent the day erasing every program in the supercomputer, free from the blocks and firewalls that Jeremie had so carefully put in place. I might have even chosen to do this, if Jeremie had not chosen this moment to wake up.
"Oh, great," I said under my breath. "I'm going to class," I told Ulrich. "I've got to go get my laptop." I half-walked, half-ran out of the bathroom and down the hall. A few people turned to look at me, wondering where I was going in such a hurry, but I brushed by. I only just reached Jeremie's room in time. Jeremie, who had, by now, figured out what was going on, was "yelling" at me.
… OUT OF MY BODY!!! XANA!!
Honestly, Jeremie, do you really think that I'm going to leave because you told me to? I thought irritably at him.
GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!
I sighed and rubbed my temples. Are you quite done? You're giving us a headache.
No, I am not quite done! Get out of my head, XANA! This is my body!
Yes, I am aware of that. But we've already been over this. I am not about to leave simply because you tell me to.
Fine. I'll call Aelita, and she'll go and deactivate whatever tower it was that you activated.
Really? You'll call her? I echoed with slight amusement. Well, go ahead then.
…
…
…
You can't move, can you?
Shut up.
Any other bright ideas, "Einstein"?
Shut. Up. Get out of my body.
No. I won't. Not until the end of the day.
The end of the day?
Curious? Perhaps now you'll be ready to listen to me, Jeremie?
… What do you want?
Nothing.
Really. Nothing.
Well, yes. Nothing is exactly what I want you doing. I want you to let me have control of your body for today. I will not hurt your friends, your classmates, or any of your teachers. I will not tamper with the supercomputer or its programming in anyway. In short, I'm harmless for today. At the end of the day, I will return peacefully to the supercomputer.
…
So what do you say?
What would be the purpose of that?
I hesitated. My… My reasons are none of your concern.
"None of my concern"? Of course they –
I am not going to answer your questions about that, Jeremie. Now, back to our agreement.
… And if I say no?
Then I suppress your consciousness and go about today anyway. But I guarantee that I will be reprogramming the supercomputer to not accept any of your DNA codes.
… You can do that?
I guess you'll find out.
No, no, don't. I… Fine. Whatever. Just for today.
I smiled. To anyone, that would have seemed like an entirely useless conversation. This included Jeremie, apparently, for I could sense confusion from him. However, it made all the difference for my plans today. The thing was, I had studied human nature enough to know the basics, but I could not fake entire conversations. Also, I had discovered recently that, should the being whose body I was inhabiting consent, my symbol would not appear in their eyes and give me away.
All right. What's first?
Well, first is breakfast.
Breakfast? I grinned. That's great!
… Okaaay… It's just breakfast. Not a big deal.
Perhaps not for you. But you fail to understand that food is one of the better things in life.
Whatever you say, XANA. I heard him add, more quietly, You sound like Odd…
"Hm." I frowned at him, though he could not see, and grabbed his laptop. He could think whatever he wanted to. Nothing could bring me down.
Nothing except…
"You ate my portion?"
"Well, yeah." Odd shrugged. "I mean, you always give it to me, and I thought that it would be okay…"
I looked sadly at the empty tray that I was holding, sighing and replacing it. "It's fine, Odd. Just… Don't eat my lunch, all right?"
Odd agreed. I provided an excuse to go leave, and sat in the science classroom, alone save for the teacher, thinking of all of the things I would do to Odd the next time he went to Lyoko.
I don't see why you're making such a big deal over nothing, Jeremie commented.
I would not expect you to, I replied snidely. After all, you get this stuff all the time, don't you?
Awful cafeteria food? Yep, all the time.
I grumbled under my breath, but did not reply. He didn't get it.
The rest of the class filed in, still talking and laughing with their friends, refusing to quiet down even after Mrs. Hertz had cleared her throat loudly thrice and tapped her meter stick warningly against the desk. I mumbled a greeting to Ulrich and Odd as they seated themselves behind me.
"Hey, Jeremie," a soft, familiar voice said to me.
I turned to face Aelita. "Hi," I said in return, and opened my mouth to add something more, but Mrs. Hertz at last succeeded in getting the class to quiet down so that she could begin the lecture. Aelita put a finger to her lips and turned and faced forward.
In the dim light provided by the projector, I studied the girl that Jeremie so admired and that I had been seeing considerably less of since she left Lyoko. She was good looking enough, I supposed, for a human, which wasn't saying much. Her hair was a bright, perky shade of bubblegum pink, and her eyes were a green slightly lighter than Ulrich's. Her hands were, I decided, her best aspect, long and delicate, with finely sculpted fingernails. (At this point, I began to suspect that some of Jeremie's thoughts were leaking into mine.) She had such a nice mouth, and nose, so cute and dainty. She even smelled nice.
I always thought that she smelled like sunshine.
I let out a loud peal of laughter. Everyone in class turned to look at me, and I quickly quieted down, my shoulders shaking with the effort of repressing the laughter.
"Jeremie," Mrs. Hertz said, glaring sternly at me. "Is there something you find funny about my lesson?"
"N-No," I answered, still fighting to keep a straight face. "I just had a weird thought. Won't happen again, ma'am."
Mrs. Hertz frowned at me for a moment longer before turning back to her lesson. I turned my attention to Jeremie, who was lecturing me again.
Well, that was humiliating. Thank you.
It was your own fault.
My fault? How was it my fault?
"She smells like sunshine"?
… You heard that?
I hear what you're thinking, Jeremie, I reminded.
Yeah, well… I could feel embarrassment radiating from him. I've always just thought that, y'know, if sunshine had a smell…
It would smell like Aelita does? Jeremie, let me be the first to tell you that that is the stupidest thing that I have ever heard.
He mumbled something murderous at me, then fell silent.
The morning classes passed without event. I was quite bored. I knew all of this information already, and I did not see why teachers took a whole lesson to explain such simple concepts. I mean, how hard is it to understand the different forms of symbiosis? There aren't very many of them, and they are relatively easy to explain. But nooo, we have got to spend fifty whole minutes on this. If I did not so detest humans, I might consider creating a polymorphic clone just so I could properly educate them.
The bell rang. I, who had been slumped, brain half numb, for the last hour, sat up straight and grabbed Jeremie's bag. I was out the door before anyone else had even noticed that class was over. I half-ran, half-walked down the corridor and turned the corner next to the stairs quickly. The other buildings came into view, including the lunchroom. Just the sight of it made my mouth begin to water.
My mouth, XANA.
I stopped, temporarily deterred from my mission. What?
I've been noticing that you're referring to parts of my body as yours. They're not. That's my mouth, because this is my body and you are just borrowing it for awhile.
I rolled my – excuse me. I rolled Jeremie's eyes and proceeded to ignore him.
The lunchroom, to my disappointment, was already packed, which meant I had to wait in line with my tray. The lunch lady, Rosa if my memory was correct, ladled some grayish sludge with chunks of "meat" onto my plate. I thanked her and continued down the line to receive my bread, vegetables, and dessert. Most of the students were looking at their plate with a slightly sickened expression and poking at the main dish with their fork, as though afraid that it was about to suddenly attack them. I grinned from ear to ear as I sat down at the table that Jeremie directed me to.
It was not long before the others joined me. "Hi, Jeremie." Yumi set her tray down next to mine. "Where's everyone else? Oh, wait, I see them."
I glanced up from my food and nodded in acknowledgement as Ulrich sat down opposite me and Odd slid in next to him. Aelita sat beside me.
"Where did you get off to in such a hurry?" Ulrich asked me.
I stopped eating reluctantly, setting the full fork back on my plate. "Um… I thought that I heard my computer go off," I lied. "False alarm."
"Oh, that's good," Aelita said.
"Aw…" Everyone at the table looked at Odd. He shrugged. "I really wanted to miss this afternoon's classes."
"Of course," Ulrich laughed. "Do you ever want to work, Odd?"
"That's not why!"Odd launched into a story. I finished my food and looked up, watching as they talked. Odd was speaking animatedly, making hand gestures, while Ulrich, Yumi, and Aelita all laughed. I was supposed to be included in this conversation, supposed to be laughing as well. But here, among them, pretending to be one of them… I had never felt so disconnected, so alone. There was only one of my kind. I would never experience this for myself. Belonging to a group, having friends, talking with them, laughing with them, having someone want to talk to me. I could never have any of this.
"Hey, you okay, Jer?" Yumi asked me.
I blinked. "What? Oh, yeah. My mind just wandered for a moment there."
Yumi looked skeptically at me, but turned her attention back to the conversation. I breathed a sigh of relief. This girl and her instincts. If I wasn't more careful, I would be discovered.
"… And so, after the movie, which was kinda boring, we were walking back to the dormitories, and I'm thinking about how she made me spend all my money and I'm going to have to wait until next month to do anything off-campus," Odd continued. "And so we stop on the staircase and she turns toward me and looks at me and I think that she's, y'know, gonna kiss me, which is great, 'cause she's really hot and everything. So I just kinda lean forward and she looks up at me and she's all like 'You know that thing that you do with your hair is really weird-looking, right? Everybody thinks so.' And she just walks off and leaves me standing there!"
Ulrich and Aelita were still laughing at him. "It isn't funny!" Odd protested. "It was embarrassing! And then I found out that the whole thing was a prank 'cause she's Magali's friend and she was just doing it to get revenge."
"Magali? Isn't that the one you were two-timing with Claire?" Yumi asked. "That time that I got slapped for you?"
"Well, yeah…" Odd mumbled. "But I did say that I was sorry about that."
Yumi started to reply, but suddenly gasped. "Oh, no! I left my paper for Italian at home!"
"It's okay!" Aelita said quickly. "You emailed it to me, remember? We'll just go print it on my computer."
Yumi and Aelita left. My eyes followed them out of the lunchroom. I looked back to see Ulrich giving me a knowing smile. Weird.
"So, are you going to ask her?"
"Ask her?" I repeated blankly.
"To the dance tomorrow," Ulrich explained.
"Oh. Uh…" Of course I'm not going to ask her! I'm not even human! Jeremie?
What?
Were you going to ask her?
I… I, uh, um… Well… She's deejaying, right?
"Isn't Aelita deejaying?" I repeated.
"Well, yes," Ulrich answered patiently. "But she's not going to be doing that the whole time."
Dances aren't really my thing. I suck.
"I don't really like dances. Besides, I'm not very good at dancing."
"I really don't think that Aelita will care."
"But-"
Odd, who had just finished his food, shook his head. "Jeremie, Jeremie, Jeremie. What are we going to do with you? You have got to ask her. Today."
I made a noncommittal noise, thinking that Jeremie would be on his own for that, and, judging by his obvious shyness, there was no way that he was going to ask.
"What about you?" Odd added, looking to Ulrich. "You going to ask Yumi?"
Ulrich blushed. "I… It's not… Yumi and I are just friends, remember?"
"Uh huh," Odd said, his disbelief evident. "So are you going to?"
"No! And I noticed that you haven't asked anyone yet!"
"Yeah, well, with my looks, I'm sure to find someone there."
"More like no girl in the school will go with you," Ulrich shot back.
I groaned, feeling a headache coming on as they continued to bicker. I will never understand why humans make such a big deal over such ridiculous things.
Lunch ended soon afterwards and the students left to go to their next classes. Ulrich, Odd, and I joined the students that had queued up outside the classroom, and met Aelita. Ms. Mayer opened the door and let us all in. I sat down in Jeremie's seat, which was located a row in front of Ulrich and Odd. I had already decided that school held no interest for me. I had considered cutting class, but Jeremie had put his foot down. So I had come to class, but I did not intend to listen to it.
As the rest of the class settled in, I got out Jeremie's notebook and a pencil, sliding it directly below my face. Now, it would appear that I was looking down at my notes to anyone in front of me. In reality, my eyes would be shut.
And why exactly would your eyes be shut during a class? came Jeremie's suspicious voice.
Because I plan to sleep, I answered with a shrug.
You're what!
Is there a problem?
Yes, there's a problem! You can't sleep during class!
Why not? I believe that your friend Odd does it quite frequently.
But… But… He's Odd! Everyone knows that he's lazy. I have a reputation to keep! I'm supposed to be a good student!
I'm not a student at all.
But you're using my body!
Yes. It's only one day, Jeremie.
That won't matter! Teachers trust me to pay attention during their classes!
Ms. Mayer, meanwhile, began to write equations on the board. Half of the class copied them down into their notebooks, while the other half tuned out.
Calm down, Jeremie.
No! I'm not going to let you sleep in class in my body!
I thought we had an agreement. I'm not hurting anyone.
Sure you are. I have a reputation that you're hurting. And my grades, too. I work hard for those.
Jeremie, it's just one day. I was starting to get angry now. Why can't you just let me do what I want to with this one day?
Because you shouldn't even have this day at all! You stole my body!
I don't think of it as stealing. After all, it's only for today.
The amount of time doesn't matter!
I deserve this, Jeremie!
You deserve it? For what?
That's it. I raised the hand of my borrowed body. "Ms. Mayer? May I please use the restroom?"
Ms. Mayer gave me a look. "Yes, of course, Jeremie."
I got up and caught Ulrich's eye. I shook my head and mouthed Not XANA so that they would not try to leave as well. I walked quickly from the classroom and through the halls. When I arrived at the bathroom, I was pleased to find it deserted. I turned to face the reflection in the mirror, to give myself the illusion that I was looking Jeremie in the eye.
Jeremie, let me ask you something. Have you ever wondered why it is that I want to kill you and the rest of your race?
…Because you're insane?
I am saner than you think, actually. Try again.
Okay, fine. I give up. Why do you want us dead?
Because you're all fools!
Fools?
Yes! All of you!
How are we fools?
You're selfish and ignorant. You take for granted things that I can never have.
And what are those things?
Sensations, companionship, emotions! Do you have any idea how lucky you are?
Lucky?
Yes, lucky! You can taste and touch and feel. You have friends who enjoy your company. You can feel something for them! You have these things every day, and you don't even so much as consider what a gift it is. I hate you all! You have what I don't. I have spent my entire existence in misery. My own creator, once he realized that I had learned to think for myself, decided to kill me! I was aware of something hot and wet on my cheeks, but did not know nor care what it was. And I have never met another computer that has achieved the kind of intelligence as I have. I am alone, unable to feel anything, unable to speak to anyone. Can you imagine how that must be? Well?
Jeremie was silent.
No, you can't. You have everything.
But why do you want to kill us?
I let out a mirthless laugh. Because that's what I am meant to do, Jeremie. Franz Hopper was right to wish to destroy me. I am a program designed to kill, and that is what I will do to you who have what I cannot.
You were designed to destroy computers. But humans? That's murder!
Murder is a term that you humans came up with, and not something that I believe in, I answered shortly. You're all fool s, I repeated bitterly. And I loathe you. And I will wipe you off the face of this planet one day, or you shall do the same to me.
Jeremie was quiet for a moment. But then, what was the point of today? he asked. Why did you want to go through a normal day in the life of one of the humans that you so hate?
Because… Because… I pressed my forehead against the glass, feeling its cool touch on my skin. Because I have spent my whole existence in darkness and despair. I just wanted one day… One day to feel… Something. To be accepted. Even if it's not really me that they're accepting. I just wanted to know what it's like not to be completely and totally alone. I wanted to know what it's like to have friends. Is that so wrong?
…
But it didn't work, anyway. I can never be accepted by anyone. I can't even pretend.
… Why did you let this get so far?
What?
If you had just said something, had made contact with me when I found Aelita… But I supposed it's too late now, isn't it?
Yes, it is. Hatred is a bond not so easily broken. I will hate you until my existence comes to an end, and I am sure that you feel the same way. We can never reconcile, and I know that after today, things will return to how they have always been.
Right. … XANA?
Yes?
I think that that last one on your list… Emotions? You may be more human than you believe. Look in the mirror.
I opened my eyes. Jeremie's face looked back, streaked and blotchy. The eyes were more moist than normal. What…?
Those are called tears, XANA, Jeremie explained. And they are a human reaction to sorrow.
I gazed with wonder at the face in the mirror for a few heartbeats. At last, I blinked and looked away. I supposed we should get back.
Yes, we should. Wash up and get back to class. Oh, and… Jeremie hesitated before adding, you know, if you want to sleep… I'm fine with it. After all, it is only one day.
The cafeteria was considerable louder during dinner than it had been at lunch. I savored my food, and allowed myself to talk to Jeremie's friends. I actually enjoyed myself a little. Not much, but still…
"I'm going to go to bed," announced Aelita, pushing away her tray at getting up.
I gazed up at her for a few moments, pondering an idea. I made my decision. "Um, I can walk with you to the dormitory," I volunteered. "I was thinking about going to bed early tonight, anyway."
Aelita smiled. "Thanks, Jeremie."
XANA, what are you doing?
You'll see. Don't worry, I added, sensing unease and suspicion from him.
Aelita and I left the cafeteria together and walked in silence through the dark grounds. A warm breeze whispered through the grounds, ruffling my hair. I looked up at the sky, so beautiful and endless, and then at the girl beside me, who was looking shyly at the ground. The night was peaceful and silent. I thought how I wanted this to last forever.
And then the moment was over. We stopped outside of the dormitories. Now was the time. I drew on my knowledge of human interaction and of Jeremie as a person and began. "Um, Aelita?"
"Yeah?" She turned her pretty green eyes toward me.
"Well, uh…" Run fingers through hair, look at shoes. Hold it for a second. Two…. All right, eye contact. I glanced up, then looked away. Trigger blush response now. My cheeks turned a light shade of pink as blood rushed to them. "I… I know that you're going to be deejaying, but…"
XANA, what are you doing?!
Not now, Jeremie.
"I thought… Y'know…" More blood. My blush deepened to red. "I-If you're planning to take a break… Planning to dance… I would like to, you know, uh…" I met her gaze again, a hopeful grin on my face.
"Jeremie? Are you asking me to go to the dance with you?"
"Only if you want to," I said in a rush.
Aelita beamed. "Yes, Jeremie. I would love to go to the dance with you."
"You will?" I feigned surprise. "Wow, um… Th-That's great! I, uh, can't wait." I paused for a minute. "So, uh… I suppose that we should go to bed."
Aelita nodded. "Yeah," she agreed.
"So… I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah. See you tomorrow." And she was gone.
XANA…
Oh, don't be ungrateful. I just did you a favor.
Maybe I didn't want to go with her.
Jeremie.
Well! How do you know!
Jeremie.
And that was embarrassing! You didn't sound anything like me!
You're right. I should have stuttered more. And Jeremie?
What?
A simple thank you will suffice.
My breath fogged up the window as I gazed out onto the quiet grounds, fingers pressed to the glass. I could feel my body shifting slightly as I breathed. My clothes also shifted a little, clinging to my form. I was hyper-aware of everything I could feel, since I knew that it might be the last time that I could feel them.
So what now? Jeremie asked.
Now? I repeated sadly. Now… I think that I am done, Jeremie.
Done?
Yes. My one day has come to a close.
… Did you do what you wanted to?
I didn't think so, but… Maybe I did. Anyway, it doesn't matter.
You're wrong.
Huh?
You're wrong. It does matter. And I hope… I hope that you did find what you were looking for.
Sudden, momentary affection flared inside of me for the boy whose body I had borrowed for the day. I felt that same warm wetness on my face. I knew at last that I was ready to go. I eased gently out of his body until I hovered, a black shadow, before Jeremie. I gazed at him, and he stared back, and there was a moment between the two of us, not of friendship, but of understanding and connection. Then Jeremie looked away, and I drifted to the electric outlet and seeped inside. I had already begun formulating my next plan to eliminate humanity.
The end! I now have four minutes. Go, go, go!