A VERY DRAGONBALL Z CHRISTMAS 2
**Since this is a sequel, it would be advisable to read "A Very Dragonball Z Christmas" first, in order to have a background on a few small details that are key components to this story. Yeah, the original is much older, but it's a shorter read than the sequel (like half the words) and would be worth your time reading in order to fully understand and enjoy this story; which, I believe, is the better of the two. I've improved my craft between the two stories so I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it! -N.D.
"Happy Christmas, Merry Hanukkah and Hooray Kwanzaa!" Goku yelled excitedly while hanging a red Christmas ornament on one of the eight arms of the golden menorah that he carried.
With his back leisurely leaning against a wall, Vegeta sighed with annoyance as he witnessed the usual idiotic antics of his foolish rival from a short distance. Adding to this irritation, the saiyan prince was faced with an unbearably festive, yuletide-influenced, scene around him. Christmas was only a day away now and of course that meant his wife's usual— unavoidable—Christmas Eve party at their home. Now, there were few things in life that Vegeta struggled to tolerate—actually, there were quite more than just a few—but two things particularly wore on the tight nerves of the prince. One was the Christmas season and the other was people.
"Uh Goku, I think you mean Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and uh…hey, what do they say for Kwanzaa?" Krillin asked, holding a glass of eggnog while scratching his thick black hair. He appeared as confused as the random designs of reindeer and pine trees on his bright green sweater.
With a large serving plate in both hands, Bulma paused from distributing her homemade holiday cookies among the crowd of friends in her living room, "You know what? That's a good question Krillin. I never thought about that." She replied, wrinkling her brow as she came to the epiphany. The hostess was sporting a white turtleneck decorated with a large insignia of Capsule Corporation, in red and green, across her chest. Underneath the insignia, a cursive-written caption read: 'Merry Christmas from Capsule Corp.'
Vegeta sighed again from his secluded position with an even deeper annoyance in his tone.
Piccolo rolled his eyes under the fluffy brim of the Santa hat that rested atop his crown, "Does it really matter anyway? It's not like anyone in here actually celebrates Kwanzaa or Hanukkah. As a matter-of-fact, shouldn't the question rather be, 'where on earth did Goku get that menorah from?'" The namekian's statement struck the mind of Chichi as she and her husband stood next to each other in their matching red Christmas fleeces, "Hey, Piccolo's right. Goku, where exactly did you get that thing?" She asked.
Goku shrugged, "Found it."
Chichi, dissatisfied with the statement, motioned her hand for more information, "Yeah, where?"
"Some place."
"Yeah?"
Goku stared blankly at Chichi.
"Yeah?" Chichi asked once again, a growing impatience underscoring her tone.
"Uh…some place?" He replied confusedly.
Chichi sighed and shook her head in pity, "Why I still try after all these years, I never know." She muttered.
"Well, either way, Goku has managed to set off the type of mood that we need up in here! Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and uh…Kwanzaa to everybody!" Bulma awkwardly exclaimed.
Gohan, reclining next to his girlfriend, Videl, on one of the living room couches, cleared his throat as he prepared to speak, "Actually Bulma, It's more politically correct to just say Happy Holidays."
"THAT'S IT!" Vegeta yelled unexpectedly, earning him the surprised stares of everyone in the spacious living room, "I can't stand spending time with you people like this! It's maddening!"
"A better word would be 'exasperating', Vegeta." Gohan spoke.
With a loud disgruntled moan, Piccolo covered his face with his hand in embarrassment, "Ugh, Gohan…you're such a nerd." He muttered.
"I blame you namekian!" Vegeta retorted, "Apart from the earth woman, you raised him most of his life! To think, the last generation of a once proud and awesome race of planet conquering, civilization annihilating, merciless space mercenaries are now nothing more than useless, peace-loving, freethinking hybrids!"
"Way to go raising my son for me, Piccolo!" Goku yelled.
"Hey, it's not my fault he became a sissy! I raise kids the same way my father raised me, by abandoning them!" Piccolo retorted.
"Wait a minute, I'm no sissy! I can destroy a whole planet if I wanted to!" Gohan shouted, standing up as he made his protest.
Vegeta snorted, "Oh yeah? Go destroy the sun!"
An incredulous Gohan scoffed at Vegeta's ignorant remark, "For one, genius, the sun isn't a planet, it's a star! Two, its nighttime! Three, unless you want to eliminate all life on Planet Ear-"
"TRUNKS!" Vegeta interrupted Gohan with a loud bellow.
In a far corner of the living room, Vegeta's eight-year-old son had been preoccupied playing Guitar Hero, on his Xbox 360, alongside his best friend, Goten. At his father's beckon however, both Trunks and Goten suspended their play and approached Vegeta simultaneously on quick feet.
"Go destroy the sun boy, and show Kakarot's eldest son that at least you're more than just a useless half-breed!" Vegeta commanded.
Trunks looked at Goten, "Wanna destroy the sun?"
Goten shrugged, "Okay." He responded nonchalantly.
Just as the two children prepared to turn away, they were met by the image of an irritated Bulma, "NOBODY IS DESTROYING THE SUN! NOBODY IS GOING TO PLAY THE BLAME GAME! AND NOBODY…" Bulma stepped between her son and Goten to approach her surprised husband for a face-to-face encounter, "…IS GOING TO RUIN MY CHRISTMAS PARTY, UNDERSTAND!"
At that exact moment, a loud crash suddenly tore through the ceiling of the living room and brought forth a large brown reindeer that conveniently landed just a few inches from a startled Goten and Trunks. On the back of the reindeer was a dwarf-like creature that muttered incoherently as it shook the dusty shingles of the ceiling from its dark green overall jacket, candy-cane striped tights and brown, pointy-toed, ankle boots. Adjusting the floppy crimson-colored hat that had slid down its hidden green eyes, the creature raised it over its brow to see the area in front of it. Curiously, the barefaced pointy-eared creature gazed at the crowd through the short locks of red hair that escaped from underneath its' hat. "Is one of you…Goku?" A nasally and high-pitched male voice emerged from the mouth of the creature.
"I am!" Goku responded amiably, waving the menorah that he still carried in his hand.
"Oh, thank God!" The creature spoke with a tone of relief before jumping off the hide of the reindeer and standing on his own two stubby legs before the crowd. While the creature barely came up to the chins of Trunks and Goten, his pudgy exterior showed that his abnormal height was no result of poor health, "I've come all the way from the North Pole with a message of help from Santa! Goku, we need the help of you and your friends at the North Pole because-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa there little guy. Slow down for a second and introduce yourself first." Goku interrupted.
"Yeah, so I can have some information to grill you over, in court, for property damage!" Bulma angrily added.
The creature, a bit uneasy from Bulma's statement, cleared his throat, "Well…okay. I'm an elf from the North Pole. My name is Milkdud and I-"
"Wait one second! Your name is what?" Vegeta interrupted this time.
The elf looked at Vegeta awkwardly, "Uh…Milkdud?"
His response caused the males of the room to immediately burst into a bout of chaotic laughter. "Aha ha, Milkdud? Like the candy? Hey, what's your last name dude? Butterfinger?" Yamcha sputtered between laughs. A reddening Milkdud grew hot under the collar, "Hey, I'll have you know that all the males before me, in my family, have been named Milkdud! It's a noble name in elf culture!" The elf angrily bellowed.
At this statement, the laughter intensified.
"Hey, can everybody calm down so we can hear this guy!" Videl loudly yelled amongst the ruckus. Her plea was successful as the laughter quieted down to muffled snickers and then finally to somewhat straight faces. Upon the onset of silence, an embarrassed Chichi sighed and shook her head in disappointment as she knelt down to Milkdud's height, attempting to assuage the frustrated elf, "Okay Milkdud-"
"Milkdud..." Piccolo heckled the elf's name under his breath, causing a flurry of muffled snickers to fluctuate amongst the males once again.
An exasperated Milkdud finally had enough, "All right, you know what? Forget that I even came here, okay? You can all just DIE when the world gets destroyed on Christmas morning!" He bellowed. Milkdud's disturbing words caused the mirth to suddenly dissappear from the room. "Wh-what? The world is getting destroyed on Christmas morning?" A somber Goku repeated Milkdud's statement.
The elf stuck up his nose, "Oh…got your attention now, huh? You guys don't seem like you want to be laughing anymore!" Milkdud confidently exclaimed. Goku cleared his throat, "Okay Milkdud, we're sorry for laughing at your goofy name. Go on with what you were saying earlier." The saiyan apologized with a blunt sincerity. Milkdud gave a satisfied nod of his head, some of his dignity now regained, "Like I was saying…Santa is in need of your help. Like him, most of you are saiyans and only the combined power of a group of saiyans-"
"And one namekian." Piccolo abruptly interjected.
Milkdud gave an compliant nod of his head, "-yes, and one namekian, can defeat the threat that has taken over the North Pole." Milkdud's words caused Yamcha, Krillin, Tien and Chaotzu to take a collective sigh of relief. Vegeta, however, grinned with excitement as he raised his arms in joy, "Yes! This is what I've been wanting for all along! A chance to get my fists dirty with someone's face!" He ecstatically cried.
Gohan folded his arms as he stared on at the elf, "Who's the perpetrator Milkdud?" He asked.
"An elf named Licorice." Milkdud promptly replied.
The response, yet again, managed to create an ecstatic laughter that tore through the ranks of the males in the living room. But this time, even the women struggled to hide their obvious grins and snickers with either curled up lips or hands covering their mouths. A peeved Milkdud was forced to patiently wait for everyone to regain their composure before he could begin again. Vegeta wiped the collecting tears from his eyes, "Oh, I've truly seen it all! First, I find out that the most powerful saiyan that I have ever encountered is no other than Santa Claus himself, and now, I find out that he has been subjected to the mercy of one of his ridiculously named, pint-sized minions!"
Milkdud shook his head, "Licorice is no normal elf, sir! Mark my word, he's the purest specimen of power to ever exist on this planet; unknown to any beyond the shores of the North Pole. His build is pure Herculean, his savagery is beyond the realms of sadism and his deadly prowess outmatches even Chuck Norris! Did I mention that he's also been diagnosed with psychosis since birth? Anyway, Santa himself trained him and while Licorice may not be a saiyan, he's definitely more powerful than one. For not even Santa, himself, was a match for Licorice when he suddenly took over!"
Piccolo sighed with a hint of annoyance, "So has the North Pole become the newest haven for uber-powerful beings to exist before revealing themselves? I mean, how come we never sensed this Licorice guy before and if he's such a psychopath, why did Santa keep him around in the first place, let alone train him?"
Milkdud rubbed his chin while pondering a correct response to Piccolo's sensible question, "Well…Licorice was the only exception to us worker elves. He could build a mean dollhouse, mind you, but between Christmas Eves, Santa needed a sparring partner to train with during the remaining days of the year. Licorice was the only one of us elves to grow to 7'8", so Santa naturally chose him. He taught him everything he knew, from concealing his power level to telepathy! Up till now, the boss had kept Licorice in check, but now that Licorice has overmatched Santa in power, there is nothing to put a rein on his insanity! To make matters worse, the new sense of power has gone to Licorice's already depraved mind and he's taken a liking to destruction, tyranny and killing!"
"Ah, the good ol' days." Vegeta spoke with a reminiscent grin, "Yeah, overpowering weaklings will do that to ya."
Taking a hard swallow, Milkdud continued his words, "Licorice no longer sees the worth of any kind of life other than his own and now, in some sick twist on one of Christmas's major themes, the maniac plans to deliver to the world a present like no other on Christmas morning: total destruction!" He anxiously exclaimed.
Piccolo yawned, "Is that it? Been there, done that."
A similarly unimpressed Goku agreed with a jaded nod, "Tell me about it. What do you guys say we get this thing over with and go deal with this guy now?"
Gohan grinned, "Wouldn't it be hilarious to show up and beat up on the guy right on Christmas morning? I mean he'll never expect it. He'd be all up in the sky, ready to blow the planet to smithereens like the bad guys always do and then, out of nowhere, KAMEHAMEHA! Right up the rectum!"
Vegeta shook his head in objection, "Can't wait that long. My fists crave for a nose or chin right now."
"Can Trunks and I finish playing Guitar Hero first?" Goten asked aloud.
Trunks nodded in agreement, "Yeah, Goten sucks. I'm totally killing him!"
"But you'd never do it in real life like I told you!" Vegeta suddenly yelled at his son, startling the young boy.
Milkdud, meanwhile, was dumbfounded at the ease of the saiyans and Piccolo, "So…none of you are afraid? Not even of Licorice's terror?" He asked in astonishment. Goku chortled as he shook his head, "For one, I can never be scared of a person named Licorice. Two, I've been saving the world from people wishing to destroy it since I was a kid."
"I saved it a couple of times too." Gohan added.
"Goten and I also did it one time." Trunks replied.
Vegeta shrugged, "I actually tried destroying it, in addition to destroying other planets. But after surviving one spirit bomb and four sagas with these fools protecting the precious 'Pwanet Earf', I finally got a wife, kid and house here. So I figured that I'd start saving it as well."
Piccolo nodded at Vegeta's statement, "Kinda the same story here, minus the family part. I only managed to destroy the moon though. That and one Hawaiian Island during a crazy summer back in 95', but that's another story."
Placing her hands on her hips, Bulma then took her turn to address the elf, "As you can see Milkdud, dealing with psychotic, genocidal megalomaniacs is nothing new to us. If anything, it's our specialty! Besides, if anyone dies, we usually wish them back to life with the Dragonballs anyway. And they say you can't cheat death, ha!" Bulma's soothing words caused Milkdud to sport an optimistic grin, "Well…okay. Despite the fact that Santa was stronger than all of you combined, I shall remain confident in your abilities!"
"Speaking of Santa, where exactly is he on the North Pole?" Gohan asked.
"Held captive In Licorice's lair…" Milkdud drifted off somberly, "…a cavernous dungeon of ice and death that was forced into construction by us elves, on Licorice's command, after he took over. I was one of five elves recruited to deliver the message of help from Santa, but during our getaway from the North Pole only I successfully escaped Licorce's clutches..." The elf then turned his face toward the reindeer behind him, "...on Donner's back here, the last of Santa's famed reindeer."
Gohan's face noticeably drooped, "E-even Rudolph?" He stammered.
"Oh please, don't remind me of the horror!" Milkdud cried.
Gohan sniffled gently before he quickly rubbed his eyes and furrowed his brows for a more serious countenance, "Okay, let's go get this guy and avenge Rudolph—I mean, save the world!" He bellowed with renewed enthusiasm.
"Uh…yeah." Goku replied uneasily before turning to his wife, Chichi, "Well Chichi, I-"
Chichi put her finger on Goku's lips softly, "Don't worry, I know. You're off to save the world and you realize the potential for danger. You want to tell me how much you love me and how much of a significance that I am in your life. You want to tell me that if anything should ever happen to you again, you pledge to devote your life to me, eternally, as a spirit. By my side till death reunites us again."
Chichi lifted her finger from Goku's mouth, "Actually, I was just going to ask if you can wrap some of Bulma's cookies for us to take home." Goku responded.
A dumbfounded Chichi stared at her husband blankly, "Oh, uh…okay."
Goku nodded, "Alright bye!" He yelled with a wave of his menorah. Turning his attention to Milkdud, the saiyan addressed the small elf, "Alright Milkdud, lead the way!" He commanded.
"Will do!" The elf replied back. He then turned around and began what would be a staggering trial to reach his way back up to Donner's hide. In the meantime, Goku turned toward his best friend who stood nearby, "C'mon Krillin, let's go!" He bellowed, grabbing the arm of a shocked Krillin.
"What the—Goku, no! I can't do anything—I-I-I want to live man!" Krillin cried as he struggled to get free of Goku's dominant grip.
Goku laughed, "Nonsense Krillin. This'll be like old times!"
The overpowered Krillin desperately attempted to reach for his impassive wife, Number Eighteen, as Goku tugged him away, "Uh, Eighteen? Could really use your help here!" Eighteen, however, remained apathetic as she watched her husband get pulled further and further away from her.
"You need the exercise anyway." She finally replied, just as Goku lifted Krillin away with Piccolo, Gohan, Vegeta, Goten and Trunks, trailing behind him.
"NOOOOOO!" Krillin's scream echoed, into the sky, as the group departed through the massive hole in the ceiling. With no one left but wives, one girlfriend, three fighting-rejects and one Oolong and Master Roshi, Bulma sighed, "Well…Netflix anyone?"
Meanwhile, as Milkdud led the troupe of saiyans, a namekian and a grumbling Krillin through the dark expanse of the cold starry sky, Vegeta engaged the elf in conversation, "So elf, this Licorice character you mentioned? You say that he's some sort of specimen, eh?" Vegeta asked.
"Like no other. But you all have convinced me that you're more than capable of handling him!" Milkdud exclaimed confidently.
Vegeta scoffed, "I could probably handle him all by myself. Licorice…what kind of fool would dare to live by that name? Makes me question how tough he could really be."
(1 hour later...Licorice's Lair, North Pole)
Vegeta could barely see out of his bruised left eye and his right was slowly on its way to the same condition. Painfully, he picked his injured body up from the cold hard ground. The warmth of the growing amount of blood in his mouth made him hack out a small puddle of it onto the floor underneath him. Either his mouth was cut up more on the inside than he thought, or he was having some serious internal bleeding. At this point, Vegeta couldn't tell. Everywhere hurt and it was a struggle just to balance his weight on his skinned knees.
"How tough could he be, eh? I just had to ask." He muttered to himself while rolling onto his rump. Looking above to the sky, he witnessed the battle scene taking place.
One solid punch to the temple knocked all the remaining super saiyan out of Gohan and ended the back-and-forth series of blows and parries exchanged between both he and Licorice. Spiraling uncontrollably to the earth below him, Gohan had lost all consciousness by the time his body stopped skidding over twelve yards. Despite all their presumptions, Licorice had proven to be no push over, ridiculous name or not. Piccolo had his round with Licorice and was now sprawled on the ground, bruised and possibly in a coma for it. A similarly knocked out Trunks and Goten had originally tried to use the combined power of Gotenks against Licorice but the elf dispatched of him, within minutes, in a fist-driven assault that the boys were fortunate to survive due to their fused state. Krillin, forced to be a hero against his will, made a noble attempt in squaring off against Licorice, despite the fact that he and everyone else besides Goku, knew that he had no place in challenging the super elf. To no great surprise, his match only lasted a few seconds as Licorice struck his greatly weaker opponent with a single blow that left Krillin quadriplegic. Goku, powered down from his super saiyan form and still sporting his red Christmas fleece, though tattered, feebly sat on one knee as he painfully clutched his dislocated right shoulder, "Oh man…this was my menorah carrying arm too." He muttered while wincing.
Licorice landed softly on the ground and observed each of his debilitated opponents, "You know, they say it's the season for giving! I'm hoping that all of you have appreciated my generosity in giving the gift of pain!" He shouted condescendingly.
Vegeta sighed, "Great. Now he's mocking us."
Licorice then emitted a deep cackling laugh from his lungs that made his extremely well-defined muscles bulge out, even more than they already were, through his tight-fitting elf clothes. It was a sight that could make even Broly jealous and yet, at the same time, bring a quiet snicker to the most terrified of opponents. But if candy-cane striped tights, pointy ankle boots and a goofy elf hat didn't earn Licorice respect, his roughly chiseled and bare facial features, towering height and massive strength could. Licorice's lair, on the other hand, was far drabber in appearance than the elf himself. It was a large yet simple domain, closed to the outside elements, and hewn mostly out of ice and stone. In the center space of his lair sat an exquisite throne chair, obviously Licorice's seat of power, which was framed with golden torch poles to the left and right. For a humiliation purpose, Santa had been chained and kept near the armrest like a pet, "Oh my…it seems that neither Goku, nor Vegeta, nor any of their comrades have stood a chance against Licorice." Santa spoke with a sigh, leaning against the chair as he sat on the ground.
Santa's pitiful situation was further accentuated by his rugged appearance. Stripped of his traditional hat and overcoat, Santa was left with a tattered, long sleeve, white shirt adorned to his upper body and similarly haggard red trousers hanging onto a busted, black belt around his waist. The worn material of Santa's normally polished, black boots testified to the intensity of the earlier scuffle between he and his rebellious elf while the unkempt white hair of his beard and black left eye confirmed who had clearly been the victor of their match. A fearful Milkdud, who had been hiding behind the large frame of Licorice's chair, popped his head out to address Santa, "What are we going to do, Santa? They told me they could do it, but they aren't strong enough after all!" He fretfully whispered, fearing to be heard by Licorice.
"We still have one more chance, Milkdud." Santa replied with a calm voice, "After all, I had more than one reason for you bringing all of them up here."
Licorice grinned insidiously as he approached an injured and helpless Vegeta. The saiyan prince, sitting weakly on the ground, drew what remaining strength he had left and powered, then threw, a series of energy balls, with each hand, at Licorice. Though the balls hit and exploded on their target, point-blank, they neither fazed nor halted Licorice's daunting stride toward Vegeta. "Bring Christmas hell, merrily kill; all of the world, corpses so still!" Licorice briefly chanted his demented version of Ring Christmas Bells while approaching his soon-to-be victim.
"Oh, c'mon! How come nobody likes to kill Kakarot first anymore!" Vegeta yelled in frustration as his strength gave out. Standing over the body of the fatigued saiyan prince, Licorice looked down on Vegeta with an emotionless stare, "What do you want for Christmas, little boy?" He asked in a disturbingly gentle voice, "Let me guess, A GIANT ENERGY BALL OF DEATH!"
"Um...not really." Vegeta replied.
"OH THAT'S TOO BAD…!" The elf replied with a harsh bellow as he raised his left arm and instantly powered a massive red and green-colored energy ball in his palm, "…because I made this in Christmas colors…just for you." Licorice spoke, in his gentle voice once again, while pointing at Vegeta with his opposite hand.
"You're really psycho, you know that?" Vegeta retorted.
"Vegeta!" Goku yelled from his distance, causing an interrupting pause between Licorice's onslaught and Vegeta's imminent death, "Does this mean that Bulma's not going to have her New Year's Eve Party?"
At hearing the silly question, Vegeta sighed and looked up to Licorice, "Alright, let me have it."
"LICORICE WAIT!" Santa yelled from his restrained position at Licorice's throne, suspending the sadistic elf's death blow once again, "Before you kill anyone, I have one thing to tell you."
Still holding the deadly energy ball in his raised left palm, Licorice turned the side of his face toward Santa, "Oh? Whatever could it be, old man?"
Santa took a deep breath and grunted as he stood himself up to his own two feet. Then, with an effortless shrug of his shoulders, he broke free of the chains that had bound his upper body. A conscious but limp Krillin was lying nearby, pitifully crumpled on his abdomen, when he witnessed the sight in astonishment, "Seriously? You could've done that this whole time? Do you realize how useful you could have been a couple of minutes ago? You know like before your elf played Jenga with my spine!" He yelled.
"Ho, ho, ho. All in good time my friend." Santa replied amiably before sauntering toward Licorice. The super elf watched Santa with his light blue eyes as the pudgy old man approached. Standing calmly before the assailing Licorice and helpless Vegeta, Santa opened his mouth to speak, "Licorice, in order to formally recognize your reign of terror and abrupt descent into insanity, I've decided to give you a Christmas present." The statement baffled Licorice enough to cause him to depower his energy ball and stare at Santa with a curious raised eyebrow, "Really now, a Christmas present to me? Even after all the 'naughty' things I've done like killing elves and reindeer? That kind of goes against your whole philosophy of Christmas, doesn't it?"
"I agree with the elf. What is the meaning of this, fat man?" Vegeta inquired.
Santa answered both Vegeta and Licorice's question as he resumed the conversation with his rebellious elf, "Well Licorice…it's true, you have been naughty. But seeing as this could possibly be my last night alive, I think I'll make a considerable exception this year. Besides, I believe my gift will be one that you'll certainly enjoy."
Licorice gazed at Santa suspiciously, "Oh yeah? What is it?"
Santa chuckled, "Why the opportunity to not only kill me, but Vegeta here, and Goku over there, at one time, in a final duel to the death! We are the strongest beings on the planet after all, and once you destroy the Earth, who knows how long it will be till you find another challenge?" He replied. Licorice gave a smirk, "You know what, old man? One last bout with you and these weaklings, combined, could possibly quench my murderous impulses…temporarily. Why not? Consider this acceptance my Christmas gift to you."
Santa nodded, "Good, now just give me one minute."
Turning his attention toward Vegeta, Santa, in one motion, reached for the saiyan prince, picked him up from his armpits like a small child and tossed him over his shoulder, much to Vegeta's chagrin, "What the—release me at once, fat man! Injured or not, I still have enough power to run an energy beam through your massive gut!" He snarled. "Ho, ho, shut up Prince Vegeta and act 'nice' for a change. It's what's going to save your life and everyone else's on this planet." Santa responded as he carried Vegeta and walked toward Goku's direction.
"Santa…what's going on?" Goku asked as he stood himself up on his two feet, with difficulty.
Dropping Vegeta next to Goku, in a graceless heave that made the saiyan prince mutter questionable words under his breath, Santa addressed his two fellow saiyans, "I take it that now that you two have experienced Licorice's power, you realize what kind of a force he is?"
An embarrassed Goku rubbed the back of his neck while a similarly discomfited Vegeta looked away with a scowl. Their gestures were enough of an answer to Santa, "Needless to say, we are still the Earth's last hope. Fortunately, in initially calling you and your friends up here to face Licorice, I also devised a Plan B, just in case you all failed to defeat him."
"Oh yeah? What is it?" Goku asked.
Santa smiled and clasped his hands together, "You two have fused before, right? Well, I think it's time that I share with the both of you my newest creation: the triple fusion."
Vegeta wrinkled his nose, "Triple fusion?"
"That's right. The three of us, fused to become one. It's the only way to beat Licorice." Santa replied.
Goku grinned, "Alright, count me in Santa!" The super saiyan exclaimed. Vegeta, however, remained reluctant, "This whole fusion deal…I hate it! It's enough that I have to fuse with one person, let alone two, and share their thoughts and memories well after the fusion itself!" Vegeta then pointed to Goku, "You know this fool likes to eat strawberry yogurt from his navel while watching television naked! Aggh, I can still see the image as clear as day whenever I close my eyes!"
Goku shrugged, "Chichi never minds."
"I'm getting impatient! Hurry it up or its silent night for all of you, right where you are!" Licorice bellowed from his distance.
"Vegeta, there's no time. We must hurry. If not for us, do it for your family!" Santa hastily assuaged.
Goku sported his grin once again, "Right in the weak spot, Santa."
"Shut up Kakarot!" Vegeta growled before turning his attention back to Santa, "Okay, what ridiculous dance do we have to do this time, fat man?" Vegeta questioned.
"Oh nothing serious…just some B-Boy dancing." Santa replied before beginning a pop-and-lock routine that resembled robotic movements.
"Hey, that looks like fun!" Goku exclaimed before he started imitating Santa's movements, to the best of his ability.
Vegeta was flabbergasted, "This is so stupid. I'd rather die!" He yelled.
"THAT'S IT! I'M DECORATING MY CHRISTMAS TREE WITH YOUR INSIDES!" Licorice angrily screamed before dashing towards Santa, Goku and Vegeta's direction.
At Licorice's action, Vegeta quickly changed his stubborn mind and took his hand at breakdancing. Just as Licorice came into their vicinity, an immense spark of light suddenly exploded at the epicenter of Santa, Goku and Vegeta, enveloping the bodies of the three saiyans. The sudden light stunned Licorice's eyesight, causing him to cease his attack abruptly and step back with his arms over his eyes as a shield. After the light died down, Licorice shook his head in order to restore his blurred vision. He then took another look toward his soon-to-be victims' direction and saw a single figure standing in their place.
It was the image of Gogeta, a hundred pounds heavier, somewhat flabbier and sporting a slightly toned but still very noticeable gut. His original black and orange vest had sleeves added and the colorway was changed to a red and white scheme. While his original baggy, white parachute pants remained unchanged, the navy blue sash that held them up was now a thick black belt tightened around his waist by a traditional gold buckle. His Asian inspired footwear was replaced by a tall pair of black snow boots and, as usual, the fused saiyan was in his super saiyan form. A red Santa hat masked his unruly hair, but it was complimented with a rugged golden beard that hung down to his chest.
"Is this it, a fusion? I'm not impressed." Licorice scoffed, "Tell me, just what do you call yourself?"
The fused being thought over Licorice's question, "How about…Gogeta Claus?" He replied.
A sneering Licorice laughed, "Hah, and people say my name is ridiculous! Well Gogeta Claus, prepare to say your first and last NOEL!" Licorice yelled before charging at his opponent full speed.
With only a few feet of space between he and Licorice, Gogeta Claus, nonetheless, remained motionless. In his composed eyes, he saw Licorice's oncoming attack develop in slow motion: Licorice's left leg hit the ground with the full support of his weight, absorbing the energy of the impact, while his right leg stabilized his posture. The sharply contracting muscles in his core conducted the energy traveling from his left leg and powered the trunk of his body to create a deadly velocity with the extension of his right hand. Finally, a balled fist formed itself at end of Licorice's right hand and aimed itself straight for the face of Gogeta Claus.
As the components of the attack broke down before his eyes, Gogeta Claus remained perfectly calm; patiently waiting for the exact opportune moment in which to retaliate. Time, however, slowly started to speed up as Licorice's fist grew larger and larger in Gogeta Claus' field-of-vision till, at last, he saw his opening. The knuckles of Licorice's fist barely graced against the skin of the tip of Gogeta Claus' nose before the super saiyan emitted a powerful burst of brilliant ivory-colored energy from his eyeballs. The attack contained enough area, in its blast perimeter, to completely envelop and vaporize Licorice's body instantly.
The attack was so quick and sudden that not even Licorice, himself, realized that he had died at less than a quarter of his attack's finality. Still standing in his punching posture, Licorice was both confused and flabbergasted when he found himself suddenly standing in the middle of an Asian-themed building. It was decorated with various halls that contained the busy bodies of blue skinned men, in office clothing, who corralled rows of what seemed to be clouds. Awkwardly, the super elf stood himself straight and observed his new surroundings, "What the—what happened? Where…where am I?" He asked himself.
"The afterlife." A voice responded behind Licorice. The super elf immediately turned around and found himself facing a giant desk at which a similarly enormous red-skinned figure, dressed in a purple suit, was leisurely looking down at him. Licorice furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at the giant, "The afterlife? But…that can't be, I-I" He stammered. The giant rolled his eyes, "Yeah, that's what they all say. Anyway, my name is King Yama and I'll be directing your 'destination' beyond this checkpoint. Care to tell me your name, newbie? I lost my journal so I'm keeping up with new arrivals by memory." King Yama asked.
Licorice, still stunned by his situation, answered King Yama, nonetheless, "Licorice."
At Licorice's statement, all traffic, noise and movement was halted in the building. King Yama leaned over his desk to get somewhat closer to Licorice, "Excuse me, I don't think I heard you right. What did you say your name was?"
Licorice looked at King Yama oddly, "Uh…Licorice?"
At his reply, the building erupted into laughter.
Back in the world of the living, Milkdud happily ran out from behind Licorice's throne chair to approach Gogeta Claus, "You did it, sir! You defeated Licorice!" The elf cried in joy. Gogeta Claus nodded, "A bit faster than I expected too." He replied before giving off a satisfied shrug, "Oh well, the world has been saved nevertheless. Let us now rejoice! Hot cocoa on me everyone!" He yelled. The only response from the barely conscious bodies in Licorice's lair was a weak and somewhat lethargic "yay" from Krillin.
(30 minutes later…Santa's house)
"Santa, this hot cocoa is amazing! And I'm not just saying that because we were fused together and I know your love of hot cocoa—as well as all your other deep, highly personal and somewhat disturbing secrets—but because this is really good!" The recently un-fused Goku exclaimed while he, Santa, Vegeta, Piccolo, Krillin, Gohan, Goten, Trunks and Milkdud reclined at Santa's rectangular, wooden, dinner table within his home.
"Ho, ho, ho, why thank you Goku. Now let's try to remember what we swore earlier and not mention about those hidden secrets when people and my wife are around, ok?" Santa replied happily.
"Speaking of Mrs. Claus, Santa; I got to admit, I was pretty surprised when I saw who she was." Krillin spoke after taking a sip of cocoa from his 'snowman' designed mug.
Santa laughed, "Well, what were you expecting? A sweet old lady?"
Krillin replied back with a slightly nervous chortle, "Uh, no…of course not."
"Hey honey, how about some more of that cocoa!" Santa yelled toward the opening of his nearby kitchen.
"Coming!" A charming feminine voice responded back. Soon, Launch emerged from the kitchen and amiably carried a steaming, tall, red pitcher of hot cocoa as she sauntered toward her husband, "Here you go, honey." She spoke before refilling his empty mug with the sweet brown liquid.
"Thank you sweetheart." Santa spoke with a grin.
Piccolo knew he had to say something, "Okay, this is just weird. I know that no one has seen her in years, but how in the world did Launch get here, of all places? How did you two get married? Where was she when Licorice made the North Pole hell on Earth?" The ever practical namekian asked. Santa laughed, "Piccolo, Piccolo…you worry too much about details. Just know that I'm married to the most wonderful woman, with severe Dissociative Identity Disorder, in the world." He replied while wrapping his arm around Launch's nearby waist.
Piccolo rolled his eyes, "You know what? Whatever. I'm through with trying to make sense of things."
"Bout time, namekian." Vegeta spoke before taking another swig of cocoa from his mug.
"So Krillin, how is that spine of yours doing? I see we don't have to put a tube down your throat anymore." Launch cordially asked as Krillin gulped down some more cocoa. Taking a quick and deep swallow, Krillin responded, "Yeah Launch, it's incredible! Ever since I started drinking this cocoa, my spine has become as good as normal! I got the feeling back in my extremities and I feel as though I didn't just get owned in a fight!" He exclaimed. Gohan nodded in agreement, "Yeah, me too. Hey Launch, what exactly is in this cocoa? Its reviving qualities are absolutely beyond remarkable; it may even have a greater potency than regular senzu beans!"
Launch giggled, "Oh, it's nothing more than simple milk, cocoa powder, marshmallows and a lot of love."
Gohan stared blankly at Launch, "Uh…y-you're kidding right?"
"No." Launch replied with a straight face.
"Either way, I think we should rejoice that Licorice's terror is over and honor those that have died." Milkdud spoke, raising his mug high above his head and then reaching over his chair to ceremoniously pour some hot cocoa on the floor.
"Oh that's no big deal Mr. Milkdud; we can always revive them with the Dragonballs, remember?" Goten spoke, sitting in the chair next to Milkdud.
Milkdud suddenly threw his arms up and yelled in joy, "HEYDAD!" His unusual exclamation, however, earned him stares from everyone in the room, "What? It's Hebrew. I'm a Jewish elf…who likes Christmas." The elf explained.
Trunks capitalized on the long, awkward silence that enveloped the room, after Milkdud's statement, to change the subject, "Hey Santa, since most of the elves and the reindeer are dead, how are you going to make and deliver presents this year?" He curiously asked, more concerned about his own gift than anybody else's. Santa sighed, "Well…that's a good question, Trunks. Especially considering that it's Christmas Eve and Licorice obliterated the workshop. I suppose I can fly on my own this Christmas and I could stop by a Wal-Mart to pick up 6 billion gift cards."
Vegeta gulped down the last of his cocoa and gave out a loud and bold belch, "Hey, as long as I'm not doing the shopping. Anyway, I'm ready to leave this snow pit and head back home. My woman's making a meal fit for a 'prince' tomorrow and I don't want to be too busy sleeping to not enjoy it!"
"We know Vegeta, we've been invited!" Goku happily cried.
Vegeta's eyes widened, "What! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Hey Launch, since we now know where you've been all these years, you want us to tell Tien anything when we go back home?" Krillin asked.
Launch furrowed her eyebrows while looking at Krillin, "Why would you do that?"
Krillin gave a short snicker, "Well Launch, it's only been more than a decade! I kinda figured since you and Tien were once-"
"No." Launch interrupted with an emotionless face.
Krillin blinked, stunned at Launch's quick and impassive reply, "What?"
"No."
Krillin returned Launch's unruffled stare with a slightly confused one, "Really? Cause-"
"No." She responded, once again.
"But-"
"No."
"Tien-"
"No."
"Uh-"
"I said no."
Krillin gazed at Launch in bewilderment, "Um…okay?"
Another long and disturbing pause of awkward silence followed after Krillin's statement till Santa finally broke the quiet by letting out his trademark 'ho, ho, ho' laughter. Launch followed suit by releasing her own bubbly giggle and then Milkdud had a sudden outburst of hilarity. Goku picked up on the strange mirth and began laughing, for no apparent reason, as well. At the sight, Gohan and Krillin gazed at each other in puzzlement before they conformingly added their own uncomfortable and forced chuckles. Piccolo and Vegeta, however, remained frowning; weirded out but nonetheless stoic as usual. A confused Trunks and Goten, in observing the strange scene around them, found the only sense in their situation was to play bloody knuckles. Soon, the whole room was filled with the sound of laughter; what was so humorous, no one quite knew.
Epilogue:
Christmas Morning
It was the scene of yet another beautiful Christmas morning at Capsule Corp. The heroes had returned victoriously the night before and the Earth was free from the threat of danger once again. Reveling in the joy of peace and Bulma's invitation to a Christmas feast at her and Vegeta's abode, the mass of friends came together, in Christmas spirit, at the Briefs' long, lacquered dinner table, in order to enjoy each others' company and the plethora of Christmas food.
"Gohan, you gave me a $500 gift card to the Apple Store! Oh baby, you're so sweet!" Videl uttered to her boyfriend, who sat in the chair next to her. She had just read the to-and-from nametag on a gift card that she had unexpectedly found in her purse while rummaging through its contents. "Come here…" She softly spoke as she gently grabbed her boyfriend's chin in order to draw his face closer to hers.
"Thank you Santa!" Gohan yelled in the back of his mind as Videl engaged him in a tender kiss. Piccolo grinned proudly as he watched the scene across the table. Nudging his elbow on nearby Chaotzu's arm to grab his attention, he muttered to the pale dwarf, "See that? That's my boy right there."
Tien, who also witnessed the two lovebirds from across the table, smiled happily, "I love how Christmas always brings couples together…" He spoke before taking a deep sigh, "...if only I knew where Launch was." He muttered.
Krillin was sitting right next to Tien when he heard the statement and decided to take a drink from his glass of cranberry juice so as to avoid the subject. In the midst of all the talking and eating, Goku abruptly paused from his own feasting to address his friends and family by standing up from his seat and tapping his glass cup with a fork. Unfortunately though, Goku misjudged how light a tap should be for a super saiyan and broke his cup, at first tap, with a loud smash that still nonetheless managed to grab the attention of his friends and family.
"Whoops, uh, I guess Chichi will clean that up later. Anyway, a thought came to my mind while I was eating." Goku spoke.
"That's a change." Vegeta muttered under his breath before Bulma shrilly hushed him.
Goku cleared his throat, "Well, what I guess I'm meaning to say is: I love you guys. Not in the way I love eating hamburgers with fries, or in the way I love eating hamburgers with two meats, bacon, extra cheese and two fries, or even in the way I fantasize about eating a five meat burger with five times the cheese, loads of bacon wedged between the patties and French fries stuffed in the buns, which would also be meat patties."
"And we wonder why he died of heart disease in the alternate future." Master Roshi murmured to nearby Yamcha.
The super saiyan continued, "No, I cherish you guys way more than that! Sure, some of you had tried to kill me in the past—well, almost all of you at some point in my life—but when you really look at it, all the attempts to take my life has managed to unite each of us into a family of intergalactic aliens, weird humans, an android, the unnatural hybrids we've spawned together and beloved anthropomorphic animals."
"WOOO!" Oolong yelled.
Goku nodded at the talking pig in approval, "Thanks Oolong. Anyway, when I'm with you guys on Christmas, I realize that love, joy and peace on Earth doesn't always come from high power levels, fusions, or energy blasts of unparalled force. No, but from a child sent to us from above to become our Savior."
"Hey that's sounds like you, dad!" Goten exclaimed.
Goku raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Oh, no son. I actually meant-"
Krillin stood up from his seat, "Goten's right! Hey everyone, let's give Goku a 'woot-woot'!"
"No Krillin, wait. Who I'm really trying to say is-"
"WOOT-WOOT!" The assembly, with the exception of Vegeta, cried in loud unison.
Goku laughed, "Well, you guys know how I always love a good 'woot-woot'. But in conclusion everyone, I just want to say that celebrating a purely Christian holiday, in a world influenced by Buddhist and East Asian religious themes like ours, is only made right with you guys. Take that Chinese New Year!" Goku exclaimed. At that, everyone applauded Goku's uncanny but nevertheless sincere speech. All except Vegeta, of course.
Bulma smiled, "That was wonderful, Goku. You're a true embodiment of the spirit of Christmas. Vegeta, don't you have anything to say?"
Vegeta pretended to not hear Bulma and returned back to eating holiday ham. Bulma, however, was steadfast and got up in her husband's nearby face with a fearsome scowl, "I said, 'don't you have anything to say' honey?"
Vegeta would never admit it but Bulma's demeanor had a somewhat intimidating factor that made his heart jump. He swallowed hard before regaining his composure, "Oh, just what do you want me to say woman? Some ridiculous lines of affection? Hah! Peace on Earth or not, I'm a warrior and would never stoop down to the level of expressing my inner feelings for anyone! I can't stand the sight of all these people anyway!"
Goku snickered, "That's not true Vegeta. Don't forget, I still have some of your memories and thoughts too. Deep down, you really have a strong caring and love for everybo-" Vegeta interrupted Goku by hurling himself, over the table, at him. Tackling Goku to the ground, the saiyan prince then began to repeatedly punch him across the face, left and right, "Curse you Kakarot! Every Christmas you try to expose me!"
Bulma gave a content sigh as she watched the scene from the table, "Well, I guess that's just Vegeta's way of saying Merry Christmas…"
"…and a Happy New Year!" Goku quickly sputtered between punches.
"SHUT UP!" Vegeta yelled.
THE END
(Merry Christmas!)
