A/N: An idea I've toyed with a while back and suddenly remembered while taking a shower last night. (Showers are amazing!) And I wanted to write it down as soon as I can, because well, I have a poor memory, and there's a big chance I might end up forgetting. ^^'
I dunno why I keep on writing all these angst when half the time I don't even know if I'm doing it right. Meh.
This is an AU story.
Take Two
It hurt. His bounds hurt. They were bruising him, digging into his skin, slicing through, even. Yet he ignored all of that. He ignored the pain. He ignored the stinging of his wrists, of his arms, of the cuts and bruises that littered his skin. He struggled from the hold. Struggled, struggled to break free from the muscled arms that circled around his thin frame, from the calloused hands that kept him firmly in place and covered his mouth, muffling his screams. He struggled to get away from the chilling voice, the frightening voice of his captor.
He was so, so scared. This...this wasn't supposed to happen.
"Tsuna!"
He whipped his head towards the voice, and he felt a surge of relief wash over him as he set his eyes on familiar onyx.
'Kyoya!' He wanted to shout, despite the hand clasped over his mouth.
Tears fell from his eyes as he saw him. Kyoya was here. Kyoya would save him. Kyoya would protect him somehow. Kyoya would...
His eyes widened impossibly, and his body became cold. He forgot how to breathe. Light reflected on the edge of the knife. Sharp, deadly. And it was closing in on Kyoya.
He bit down on the hand and ignored the howl of pain from behind him. He received a hard punch, which he ignored as well, and let out a strangled cry.
"Kyoya!"
But it was too late.
Kyoya's body dropped to the ground, limp and lifeless. And there was blood everywhere. Blood, red blood, spilt from Kyoya, taking the light from his increasingly dulling eyes, taking his life away from him as they continued to flow.
Drip.
Tsuna shuddered at the memory, of how fresh it was on his mind, repeating itself over and over again. Over and over and over and over. It was enough to drive him mad.
Drip. Drip.
He reached up and lightly touched his face, just the brushing of fingers, not entirely surprised to find it wet from his tears.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
He stared up the darkening sky, now completely covered with clouds, and allowed himself to be soaked by the rain. The rain was welcomed and...appropriate. He wished that the rain was enough to wash away his grief, to wash away all of his pent up loathing. Loathing of himself. But he knew that it couldn't.
Because he couldn't let go. Because he couldn't move on. Because he couldn't forget.
Just as the scars would be a constant reminder of that time.
And so he contented himself by thinking that the rain was crying with him, along side him in his moment of complete and utter weakness.
Tsuna stayed completely still, and by the time the rain lightened to a drizzle, he was already soaked to the bone, his brunet hair matted down, framing his face. He was shivering, he knew, but he hardly felt the cold. Even as the icy wind blew past him in a strong gale.
He put on a wry smile, his whole body trembling.
When Kyoya died, Tsuna felt a huge part of him die along with his lover.
Rain still poured from the sky, not as strong, but still dripping relentlessly with no indication of stopping. Tsuna has long since stood from his seat on the bench and opted instead to lean against the railing of the small bridge that arched over the river. Brunet eyes scanned the expanse of water, oddly entranced by the ripples brought by the raindrops.
'It's not your fault.' Reborn had told him softly. And in a more irritated tone, told him to, 'Stop moping around and drag your sorry ass out of this shithole you call an apartment. You're not fit for this angst crap. You need some sunshine. Your lapdogs are worried,' all in one breath.
The brunet smiled at the thought. It was what made him go out today, quite forcibly. Though, the day was far from having any sunshine.
Reborn. Gokudera and Yamamoto, too. And all his other friends. They were worried about him.
Tsuna couldn't help but feel bad that he was making his friends worry...when he deserved none of that.
He felt disgusting.
'Hibari wouldn't have wanted for you to...' Reborn had told him once.
He blinked, fat globules running down his cheeks. Briefly, Tsuna wondered why, no matter how much he cried his tears never seemed to run out, never seemed to run dry.
He swiped at his tears, angry furious swipes, willing for the crying to stop.
But it never did, and as he leaned his whole weight against the wood, of which the old bridge was built of, he thought of how easy it was to just let go and let himself fall. Into the water, into the cold, and maybe, just maybe...
He'd be with Kyoya again.
He'd finally be happy.
And all it would take was for him to let go...
The wood was slippery from the rain.
He didn't remember falling.
His body plunged into the water.
Deep, deeper. He allowed himself to be pulled deeper into the welcoming depths, vaguely disoriented at the lack of leverage. Water closed in on him on all sides, crushing him with the tremendous pressure. Crushing his chest, his lungs, and he couldn't breathe.
Fear crept into his heart, and he gave a fruitless struggle.
Blood pounded from behind his eyes as he fell deeper, and the icy cold water entered his lungs, choking him.
He gave up then, and allowed himself to be engulfed by the darkness.
A pair of hands grabbed him and pulled him towards the rippling surface of the river.
Tsuna was coughing, wheezing, his lungs greedily gasping for air. Behind him, someone was thumping his back, helping him cough out the water he'd swallowed.
He lurched forward and vomited. Water dripped from the corners his mouth as he panted.
It was now that he felt the cold, his whole body shivering. The wet clothes which stuck to his skin did very little to shield him from the rain.
"Are you okay?"
Tsuna looked up, to look at his 'savior', and was caught between wanting to thank the stranger or giving him a piece of his mind.
He was originally planning on killing himself after all.
But then he froze, his breath catching at his throat as caramel eyes met with onyx.
"Kyo—"
He stopped himself. This couldn't possibly be... Kyoya was dead.
Oh god.
And he felt the tears flow again, cascading down his cheeks as he looked at the person with the same face as Kyoya, the same dark raven hair, pale skin, and onyx eyes, but at the same time, entirely not him.
The person's brows furrowed and a look of worry crossed his face. He drew nearer, saying something.
Tsuna couldn't make himself listen, the rain muting out his surroundings. And he couldn't bring himself to look at the man anymore, either.
This was definitely a sick, cruel joke.
He feels numb, even as his heart wrenched and tightened in his chest.
Even as the world around him darkened and faded to black.
A/N: Ahh, don't you just love the rain? OvO
To continue or not to continue? That is the question. XD
I figured that this story can stand alone even with just this. And I might get busier from now on, sadly enough. But notice that I haven't labeled it 'complete' yet. ^^ It's because I haven't decided whether I'll continue it or not. OwO