A/N More unabashed YamaKash fluff. Enjoy!
To Kashuu, the nightmares are a familiar routine. When he is once again torn from sleep with the sound of his partner's screams, he does not flinch. His brain functions almost unconsciously by now, turning the cover down and sitting up. His hair, loose from its' tie, spills over the covers as he reaches across to pull Yasusada into his arms.
He rocks back and forth, slowly. Nonsense words spill from his tongue, a constant litany of soothing sounds. It doesn't matter what he says, barely giving it a thought as he concentrates on the shaking body and panting breaths huffing hot and wet on the skin of his arms.
Slowly, slowly, Yasusada begins to calm down. The screams die down, breath turning ragged as Yasusada tries to breath through his still-unconscious panic. Kashuu starts describing the world outside, reminding Yasusada that they are safe, that the view outside the citadel is one of peace and tranquillity and they are free for now from the pain and grief of blood, battle and war.
As always, it works. The shaking slows, Yasusada's heartbeat no longer thudding quite so fiercely against Kashuu's chest, and he knows he is beginning to wake up now. Kashuu doesn't stop talking, but intersperses his words with the order to breathe, in and out, counting up to seven and back down again in a soothing rhythm, and he is rewarded with the sound of Yasusada's breaths beginning to even out.
Now he starts to soothe him, rocking back and forth and running his perfectly manicured hands through the long hair. Yasusada responds, lifting his arms weakly to cling to Kashuu, and he knows the worst is over.
They sit like that for what could be hours or minutes. Kashuu knows to be patient, no matter how much he would like to move from the cramp that is beginning to set in in his legs. He will do this as many times as it takes, taking a fierce pride and joy in the fact that he is the only one who can do this, that only the two of them know what they have gone through, that he is the only one who knows exactly why Yasusada wakes screaming for a master who is no longer there, for a room long since wiped clean of the blood that was spilled there that night, so many centuries ago.
Eventually, Yasusada moves, shifting and squirming. Kashuu releases his arms, allowing Yasusada to sit up and face him.
"I'm sorry."
Kashuu shakes his head, sitting back and looking at Yasusada fondly.
"Don't be."
He keeps his words short.
Yasusada looks down, fiddling with the edge of his robe. His hair falls to cover his face, and Kashuu can't see his expression.
"You help me so much," he mumbles.
"Well, you help me too," Kashuu replies.
They sit in companionable silence for a while, letting the room fill with the quiet sounds of their breaths. They can hear faint birdsong coming from outside, showing that dawn isn't far away.
Kashuu is just about to speak when Yasusada suddenly looks up again. Caught off guard, Kashuu can only blink in confusion as Yasusada lunges forward, wrapping his arms around him tightly.
Kashuu hugs him back instinctively. Their hair mixes together, blending into one as they press together, feeling each other's heartbeats against their chests.
"Don't go," Yasusada pleads in a whisper.
"I won't," Kashuu promises. "I'm here. We'll always be together. You found me, didn't you?"
Yasusada nods. He sits back again, staring at Kashuu seriously.
"I love you, Kiyomitsu," he says, expression fierce.
Kashuu raises an eyebrow. "I love you too?" he answers, smiling in bemusement.
"I just want you to know."
"OK. Now, go back to sleep. It's almost dawn, and I don't want to get up just yet."
They lie back down again, and Kashuu draws the cover back over them. Yasusada moves closer until they are snuggled together, foreheads almost touching. They lie and stare at each other, drinking in the sight of each other's faces until their eyes close again.
They both fall asleep with smiles on their faces.
Sometimes, it is Kashuu who wakes with a start. His heart hammers furiously in his chest, and he turns away, trying desperately to hold his breath and keep his fear from showing.
He clenches his hand across his mouth, uncaring of the hot tears that flow down his cheeks and catch on his nose, not moving even when the salt starts to dry uncomfortably on his skin and pool on his pillow.
He holds his breath, hoping that he has managed to keep Yasusada from waking. He thinks he has managed, until he feels warm arms slipping under his body and tugging him backward.
"Kiyomitsu. Come on, look at me," he hears Yasusada plead.
He resists, but his partner is stronger than him, the long year of training paying off as he effortlessly pulls Kashuu towards him.
"You didn't wake me up," he accuses, although there is no anger in his tone, only exasperation.
Kashuu can't talk just yet, the tears still clogging his throat and choking his words. He simply shakes his head, trying to calm his breathing.
Yasusada puts his hands on Kashuu's shoulders, staring at him reassuringly.
"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Six, five, four, three, two, one."
Yasusada counts slowly and evenly, and Kashuu can't help but quirk a smile as he hears his own technique used against him.
"Ahah! A smile! See, it does work!" Yasusada breaks from counting long enough to speak.
Kashuu tries to smile again. He follows Yasusada's count, bringing his breathing under control until he can sit up and wipe the tears away.
"God, I must look awful," he jokes.
Yasusada knows how much his looks means to Kashuu, and he is unspeakably grateful that he doesn't try and reassure him with pointless words.
"It's only us," he says instead.
That is exactly what Kashuu needs to hear. He smiles shakily, watching as Yasusada rises to his feet to step away to the corner of the room. When he turns around, he holds out a soft cloth to Kashuu, who takes it gratefully, wiping the crust of salt and tears away. Once his face is clean, Yasusada takes the cloth from him and returns it to the bowl, then sits down again.
Kashuu sits in silence, letting his long hair fall around him. He feels Yasusada's arms wind around him, and he leans in, breathing in the soft scent of the flowers he makes sure to mix into the water when they wash their hair.
"I'm here," Yasusada says. "I'm sorry I left for so long."
Kashuu doesn't speak for a long time. Eventually, he moves, shifting elegantly in Yasusada's arms until they are facing.
He leans in, wrapping his arms around him.
"But you came back," he says. "That's all I need. Just promise me you'll always come back."
Yasusada hugs him tighter, letting his body show all the feeling he knows Kashuu can't say.
"I promise," he vows. "I'll always come back to you, Kiyomitsu. Nothing on earth could stop me from finding you again."
Kashuu closes his eyes, letting the dreams of loss and emptiness fade. Kiyomitsu is here, in his arms, as he will always be.
As they will both always be. For as long as they are together, the nightmares will always be chased away.