Written for comment_fic on livejournal.
The prompt was Derek/Cameron "trust"
Sarah doesn't trust Derek. Sarah is the best fighter I know. But sometimes Sarah is wrong.
Derek is not truthful about everything. He has secrets. Humans have secrets.
Actually, everyone has secrets.
Derek's secret is that he loves being here. He loves being with John and Sarah. I am not sure why this is a secret.
He looks at John all the time. Sometimes he looks at him the way Sarah does. Concern, anxiety, love.
Humans have a certain look, a specific physiological shift, when they want to touch someone.
Derek wants to touch John, maybe to comfort him. Maybe to make him feel safe. Touch makes people feel safe. Not my touch, for some reason. But whenever Derek wants to touch him, he walks away. Or he tells John about the things he will face in the future, about those who will die for him. About the need to let his childish hopes die so he can face the future. And then both Derek and John feel worse.
Derek wants to touch John. But he wants to make sure he becomes futureJohn more.
And when Sarah isn't looking, Derek looks at her, too. With longing. But when she's facing him, he looks at her like they are friends. Or sometimes like she is his general.
But Derek doesn't hide his feelings when he is around me. He trusts me. He trusts me not to care what he is feeling. To rate his emotions as non-threatening to John and therefore of little note.
But I always notice what Derek is feeling.
Derek feels things about the people he has killed.
Maybe it's because he has killed many people. Maybe it's because some of them were people he loved.
Derek will do anything to protect John Connor. He will complete his mission no matter who dies.
Derek is not a machine.
But I trust him.