Owl at Noon
Disclaimer: I don't own it.
AN: Well, I have recently been dangerously obsessed with Invader Zim. I am a die-hard ZADR and DADR fan, but I also find Dib/Gretchen very bittersweet. Because if Gretchen wasn't so shy, and had actually stood up for Dib, she could have been just what he needed. I don't consider it a romance, but if you do please tell me. I thought at first that if you read into it that way, it could be considered maybe a one-sided love thing, but now I'm not so sure.
The midday heat was sweltering, and again Gretchen asked herself why she had left the safety of her air-conditioned room to venture out into the suffocating city. Although, it had been suffocating in her room as well. Just not as hot. It was nearing the end of summer, but that didn't stop the sudden heat wave that had enveloped her city, swallowing it whole. Raising a hand to push her lank hair away from her forehead, she decided to walk home through the shortcut in the woods. The trees would hopefully provide some blessed shade.
They did, and the cool leafy surroundings instantly calmed her. She found it funny that she felt suffocated out in the open streets of the city, but here, surrounded by nothing but green she felt at peace. 'I hope' she thought suddenly 'that staring at so much green for too long won't make me go insane.' She had read somewhere before that staring at red for too long could make you go crazy.
A sigh pushed itself past her lips and she opened her arms as if embracing the scenery. 'I could stare at this forever' And she probably would have, would have stayed in this wonderful world of green if a smudge of black hadn't caught her eye. Immediately recognized because of all those years of staring, her heart jumped to her throat.
Dib was sitting on a log, in a small clearing just to her left. He hadn't noticed her, and seemed to be staring into space completely lost in his own thoughts. Her heart twanged a little, because she knew who he was thinking about. Everybody knew, when he got that look on his face. When his eyes were so empty, that you were afraid that he might have finally given in to the darkest corners of his mind. But, that wasn't the problem. Why was he out here? So far away from the rest of humanity? Fear began to course through her veins, as thoughts of what someone could do so far way ran through her brain. Where nobody would find you for days. Assuming they looked, that is.
Not knowing what to do, she turned and began to creep away. She made it two steps before she felt compelled to turn back and stare at him again. 'Go say hi' her mind whispered. 'Go say hi. Make sure he's alright. You've always wanted too, only been obsessing over him for over half your life. Just one more time, one more chance. Don't be a coward.' And that did it. That one evil whispered word pushed her out into the clearing. As soon as he looked up, as soon as his gaze locked with hers she knew it was true. Had known it was true ever since she first saw him. Coward.
"D-dib" Immediately she blushed, cursing her stutter. He didn't seem surprised to see her, just had that same vacant look on his face.
"Gretchen." His eyes had cleared some. "I haven't seen you since graduation." He patted that space next to him, and still blushing she made her way to him and sat down awkwardly.
"A-are you okay?" The words made it out before she could stop them, but was pleased to see that his eyes were now clear and bright. 'Good' she thought 'we haven't lost him yet.'
"Yeah." He shrugged, turning his eyes upon her. "I just came to say goodbye." His gaze was so intense she could barely stand it. "What are you doing here?"
"I was, um, just walking home. I thought that it might be cooler in here with all the trees, and it was just so green, and since green is my favorite color, I thought..." She trailed off, her faded blush coming back full force when she realized she was babbling. Then, above all her embarrassment what he had said came clear to her mind. 'I just came to say goodbye' Her fear came back ten-fold. "Why are you saying goodbye?"
"I'm leaving for college soon." He finally lifted his heavy gaze from her face, and she felt almost relieved. At the same time though, disappointed. No one had ever looked at her like that before.
"Where are you going?" Good. No stutter.
"Cambridge. In England." He shrugged, and shifted his gaze from the sky to his boots.
"That's amazing!" She gushed, forgetting for a moment who she was. Because, Dib was okay. And that's all that mattered. He wasn't planning some sort of suicide, he was just saying goodbye. He was just leaving for college. And then it hit her. Dib was leaving. He wasn't just leaving the state, he was leaving the country. Suddenly feeling very small, she whispered "Why so far away?"
His half smile at her previous excitement faded. "I don't know. I got accepted to a lot of colleges. Mostly because of who my father is." He sighed, and she wondered why he didn't say his fathers name. "I just need to get away from here. Things..." He paused for a moment. "Things haven't been easy around here. For me. Ever since…" For a second time he paused. "Right now, England is as far as I can get. Maybe later I'll go farther. Like Venice." His gaze lifted to her face again, his half-smile back. "I've heard the water's great."
She found herself half-smiling in return. "Are you going to come back?" She had known, had felt it ever since they were young that he wouldn't stick around. And she was glad. Dib wasn't happy here, but maybe he would be happy somewhere else. 'I want you to see the world Dib. I want you to be happy.' Because she knew. Knew why he wasn't happy here, when he should have been. He deserved so much, and got so little in return. Her smile automatically faded, and shame settled upon her soaking into her very bones. Again her traitorous mind whispered coward.
"No. I don't think I ever will." His voice was firm and almost harsh. "That's why I came to say goodbye." He stood abruptly and turned in the direction of the city, brushing off the back of his black trench coat. He glanced at her sideways and held up a hand that seemed to say farewell, before he started to take a step forward. He was leaving. Her heart began to thump wildly, and she couldn't think straight because her mind was shouting so loud. 'Do something!' It screamed at her. 'Hurry, before he leaves. Do something NOW'
"I'm sorry!" The words were pushed almost violently from her mouth. The feeling of shame began to lift, and her mind finally stopped yelling at her to do something, and whispers of coward ceased completely. He stopped.
Jumping up from the log, she shakily placed her hand on his shoulder and squeezed. Feverish excitement at finally touching him gave way to desperation. She had to tell him, before he left. Before he left her forever.
"I'm sorry" She was crying now. "I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry about Skool, and I'm sorry about Zim. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry I wouldn't protect you. I…" She stopped and took a deep breath of air, before closing her eyes to try and stop the tear flow. Her hand fell from his shoulder and she vaguely remembered how he had stiffened when she mentioned Zim. "I'm sorry" The words were whispered, and she suddenly felt tired.
After her little outburst, it was silent. Neither of them said a word, and for a moment she was afraid that he had left. Had left her, and the tears just wouldn't stop because she knew that she deserved it. But, she was just too scared to open her eyes and see his back, getting smaller and smaller as he walked away. Or perhaps to see nothing at all.
That was partly the reason she was so shocked when she felt a soft something gently wipe her tears away. Her eyes sprang open, and she was faced with a sight full of Dib. He was smiling now, fully smiling. For the first time she could remember. At her, and only her. His hand was still on her cheek, but neither of them said a word. After a moment of nothing but green and Dib, her two favorite things in the world, he removed his hand and took a few steps back.
"I forgive you." And then he turned and walked away. Even at a distance, she thought she could still see her tears glistening on his fingertips.
AN: Ok, what did you think? My sister read it, and she didn't know why Dib was saying goodbye to the clearing in the woods. Well, the reason for it is in the episode Vindicated. It's just the place where Dib and Dwicky staked out a set-up to capture Zim. I guess it might have had some sentimental value, what with Dwicky being the only one to ever "believe" Dib. Also, the title. For those of you who have read Julius Caesar, you might remember the part in act one, with that freaky storm going on. There are five 'bad omens' and an owl at noon was one of them. I believe the exact quote was "And yesterday the bird of night did sit, even at noonday." What I interpret the quote to mean is that it was strange, but of course an owl at noon is strange. So is Dib.