Ice Queen
This is a tribute to 'JusticeIsn'tEasy0083's "A Long Time Ago, We Used To Be Friends,". The song, 'I Feel Pretty/Un-Pretty was used and I damn sure don't own it. I did have to edit the lyrics, and when you read you'll find out why.
"Why do you feel unpretty?"
"Because a lot of people said I wasn't,"
"My Dad said I wasn't. But Sanny does. Sanny tells me all the time that she loves me. Doesn't Blaine tell you?"
"He does Boo. But it doesn't work when I don't feel so,"
He hated his scars. He hated when Blaine saw them too; the hidden pity in his eyes.
That didn't bother Kurt. What did was when Blaine looked at him like…like he, only he mattered, like if Kurt was the earth he lived in, the sun he revolved around. And Kurt couldn't feel pretty. He couldn't look in the mirror, and see himself and think, "I look pretty,"
It was impossible.
How could he even think he looked pretty with those ugly scars etched into his skin, when his friends couldn't come near him in case he suddenly lashed out. How could he feel pretty, when everything around him constantly proved he wasn't?
Brittany frowned at the table, confusion etched on her face as she sat atop a counter in her kitchen, Santana making them an ice cream sundae. She couldn't understand, so she decided to ask her girlfriend; Sanny could normally tell her what and why.
"Santana?" the girl turned at the call of her name, raising an eyebrow, "Yeah, Britt?"
She opened the freezer and was pulling out the ice-cream when Brittany asked, "Why does Kurt feel unpretty?"
The chocolate ice-cream hit the ground with a thud. Brittany frowned as Santana bent hurriedly to retrieve it, her skin a pale white under the mocha colouring. What was wrong with her question?
"Why do you think that, Britt?" Santana had turned to look at her, brown eyes questioning.
"He told me," Brittany replied.
"Sweetie," Santana sighed, remembering the session they'd all been privy to that day, "Kurt…Kurt feels broken. He feels useless, remember? He can't feel pretty because of the attack,"
Brittany shuddered, remembering the way her dolphin had walked into the practice, eyes wide, skin broken and sobbing.
He wasn't pretty then.
"But Kurt is pretty," Brittany insisted, "Blaine tells him. I tell him,"
Santana bit her lip, worrying the skin before she sighed, and wrapped an arm around Brittany's waist. The blonde leaned closer to her girlfriend- Sanny's hair was always soft and she smelled so nice.
"Baby, he doesn't believe it," Santana sounded sad. Why? They just needed to keep telling Kurt he was beautiful, and he'd eventually feel so.
"We should tell him more," Brittany concluded, and Santana sighed, pulling her mobile from her pocket and smiling at Brittany sadly, "Sweetie, I think you need to talk to someone…"
Wes was without his usual partner in crime, standing in-front of the gather warblers, Teacher, and ex-ND members, all of whom were waiting for him to speak, "Kurt asked me this morning if he could sing something. I," Wes paused, looking at Kurt who simply continued to pick at the leather lining on the couch he was curled into, Brittany watching her Dolphin from Santana's arms, "…I said yes, because this song…" the silence was making him nervous, Kurt could tell, and it was why he expected the next word out of his mouth, "Kurt?"
"I wanted to sing something with Brittany, because we had a discussion earlier that…" he swallowed, "Dr. Paul also said it might help since…since yesterday,"
Brittany didn't speak, simply walking over to him and sitting down, letting him stretch out his legs as he swallowed, the soft guitar floating across the room.
"I wish I could tie you up in my shoes," Kurt's voice was soft, working its way through the Warblers. For the first time in months, Kurt was wearing his black boots he had styled himself, "Make you feel unpretty too,"
He glanced up, meeting Blaine's eyes with a small sad smile, "I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you?" he looked to the window, seeing his pale face reflected back in the sheet of glass, "Look into the mirror who's inside there
"With the scars and the dark hair," he nearly stuttered, Brittany gripping his hand tight enough to give him strength to continue.
Same old me again today," he swallowed the lump in his throat, looking down at his feet. He really wasn't any where near being the old Kurt again.
"My outsides are cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'" Brittany sang alone, shifting closer to Kurt on the couch, who sighed and wrapped an arm around Brittany's waist, wishing he was just strong enough to rest his head on her shoulder.
"You can buy your hair if it won't grow,"
they sang together, Brittany's hair only just reaching her shoulders from when she had cut it, Kurt's nearly back to it's normal length with it's huge coif. When Kurt had had to shave his head for the surgery, Brittany had cropped her own. Sue had raged until she found out that it was for Kurt.
The woman herself was sitting in a leather chair in the corner, watching her leading cheerleader and ex cheerleader singing a song that instantly reminded her of Joan.
"You can fix your nose if he says so," Brittany pressed his nose with her little finger, as she sang, making him smile a little, because she had in fact broke her nose.
"You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make
But if you can't look inside you," they sang together, looking at each other,
"Find out who am I to," Kurt sang solo again, closing his eyes and looking at the chestnut floor again. Brittany sang with him on the next line, only singing, "Pretty,","Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty
"I feel pretty,"
Brittany sang softly
"Oh so pretty" Kurt couldn't look at her,
"I feel pretty and witty and brave," they sang together, Brittany leaning back so her back was to his chest as she smiled at Santana and Kurt at Blaine.
"Never insecure since I met you," Brittany sang, looking at Kurt and then at Santana, who was smiling as Puck wrapped an arm around her, looking like he was trying to refrain from his tears.
"Now I'm being stupid
I used to be so acute to me
"Just a little bit skinny," Kurt looked down at his wrists, remembering how thin they had been.
"Why do I look to all these things?
"To keep me happy.
"Maybe get rid of it
"And then I'll get back to me," Kurt couldn't look up; fear that everyone was judging him in his heart, making his chest tight.
"My outsides look cool
My insides are blue,"
Every time I think I'm through," he sang with a small smile, looking straight towards Blaine. Every time he went to therapy, Blaine was the one holding his hands. He was helping him get through, "It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have them to blame," he had his attackers, everyone who hadn't believed him. The attack was not his fault, "Keep on trippin'"
Brittany and Kurt together, Brittany singing the lines alone after Kurt suddenly couldn't burying his face into her shoulder, "You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I to
Be in a position to make me feel so damn pretty,"
"You are pretty,"
Brittany sang, looking at Kurt, who sang back, shaking his sadly, "So unpretty," before they sang together, "You are pretty and witty and bright
"And I pity," Brittany sang, "Any girl who isn't me tonight," She continued to sing as Kurt echoed her with small, oh's.
He swallowed before he began to sing the West Side Story verse, Brittany singing the , 'Unpretty,'
They joined together for the last verse, "But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I to
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty,"
"You are pretty,"
Brittany cupped his face with her hands, her bright blue eyes earnestly trying to convince him.
"But unpretty," he whispered back. There was a pause in which no one spoke and he finally allowed himself to cry.
Little tears ran down the bridge of his nose and onto his grey trousers, leaving a dark grey mark behind on the perfect fabric in the silence. Then there was the sound of a leather seat squeaking and heavy footfalls before a pair of brown eyes were looking up at from a very familiar face. Rory was kneeling on the ground just in front of Kurt, careful not to touch the boy- Kurt still wasn't even all that comfortable with some of the warblers touching him, "Kurt, you're beautiful,"
"Beautiful," agreed Puck, his Adam's apple bobbing as he tried to control himself. There were mummers of agreement, Jeff and Nick smiling, Nick's arms wrapped around Jeff's shoulders, who was silently wiping small tears away from his eyes. A lot of people were crying, hugging others, and telling them they were beautiful.
As soon as Kurt stood, the boy's one at a time, including the girls hugged him and told him, "You're more than pretty; you're beautiful,"
"Excuse me," David voice was gruff as he pulled, hand in his Blazer as he quickly walked out, "I have to call my girlfriend," he looked Kurt in the eyes, smiling as he gently touched the boys face, "Have to tell her she's beautiful. Like you,"
Brittany looped her arm through Kurt's and stood on tip-toe to whisper, "I told you. You're pretty,"
Later in the Dalton dorm rooms, Kurt and Blaine lay snuggled in the soft duvet, Blaine's arms wrapped around Kurt, careful not to touch any of the places Kurt didn't like for him to touch. Kurt was just falling asleep when Blaine whispered into his ear,
"You always will be pretty. The scars just make you beautiful,"
I have a scar myself, and I hate it, so I can connect with Kurt in this story because of that. If some one told me I was beautiful because of what I hated I would be so happy.
Thank you for reading. Even one review will make me happy.