Naruto dreamed of flying.
Naruto's dreams were usually confused, half-meaningless things, easily forgotten by morning. But this one was clear as glass: he was roaring upward out of a field, like a cinder from a bonfire. Looking down, he saw clusters of delicate little buildings: stone and wood, a little metal, mortals climbing futilely toward the heaven they could never reach.
There was something down there he very much wanted to destroy, but he didn't dare. He'd been trapped there once, by desire and demand, and so he turned his head to the clouds, and soared higher and further away. Toward the East, toward sunrise; that felt right.
He was free, and he meant to stay that way.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière climbed to her feet, defying everything, in the grassy courtyard of Tristain Magic Academy. Grass clung to her pink hair where she'd hit her head on the field and the front of her uniform was covered with soot. Behind her, the whispers had already started.
"Another total failure"
"As expected of the Zero"
"Hey, be fair, that explosion was a lot bigger than usual"
She stood straight, body rigid with the effort not to tremble, or scream. Rage and humiliation coursed through her in hot and cold waves, and her knuckles were white on her wand.
"That's true! She's improving, sort of."
"It's just too bad familiars aren't supposed to explode."
"Maybe the explosion was her familiar?"
Despite everything, she forced her expression into stern cool disdain, to match her straight back and haughty posture. A true Noble – and the Vallières had been nobility for as long as there'd been a Tristain – would never allow herself to show weakness, no matter what.
"Probably. But then how will she seal the contract?"
"She'll have to kneel down and kiss the ground, I guess."
"I feel like doing that too, to give thanks that I'm alive."
Would that brave show impress her sister, or her mother? Cattalya, at least, would be kind. But no gentle words could take away the fact that she'd failed.
"Don't do it, Amelia! You'll steal Louise's familiar!"
Again.
"I suppose it would be wrong, to take from one who has so little."
Just like every other time.
"Exactly. As a Noble, it's your duty to be kind to the less fortunate."
Louise kept her eyes squeezed shut, hot and tight with the effort of not crying. A noble, she recited to herself, must always retain control of her features, no matter –
"Wait a minute, who's that?"
What?
The smoke had cleared, and in the middle of the crater lay a muscular blond boy, fast asleep, his head being devoured by a frog.
No, seriously, what?
Louise blinked, and the picture snapped into focus: he wasn't being eaten, he was just wearing the world's strangest hat. It was a toothy green flannel frog, eyes wide and friendly, mouth stretched over the sleeping boy's blond hair. His light blue pajamas were ordinary enough, at least. He was utterly relaxed, head pillowed on his laced fingers, grinning broadly as he snored away.
Kirche von Zerbst was standing over him, prodding his shoulder uncertainly with her wand.
"You know, Louise," she said after a thoughtful pause, "Even if you paint whiskers on him, he's still a commoner."
Louise was too distracted to give her rival the cutting reply she deserved. Stepping closer, she saw that the strange boy really did have whisker marks, three on each cheek. On a sterner face they might have looked frightening, but as it was he just looked cute, like a baby raccoon or something.
Or how she imagined a baby raccoon would look, anyway. Something sweet and harmless.
But she didn't want something sweet and harmless for her familiar! She wanted something powerful, something awe-inspiring – a griffin, or a dragon. Or both, like with a griffin head and a dragon body...Louise sighed. It could be worse; at least she'd managed to summon something.
Louise nobly mastered her disappointment, and knelt beside the strange boy to complete the ritual.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Naruto opened his eyes.
He felt like hell: his head was pounding, his stomach hurt, and worst of all, he felt weak. He'd been tired before, so exhausted he could barely move, but this was different, like his body didn't want to move.
Weird. Naruto's body always wanted to move, even when it wasn't supposed to, like in class.
A girl with pink hair was standing over him. For a dizzy moment he thought it was Sakura, but no; the pink hair was right, and the (lack of a) bustline was right, but her other features were all wrong: her face was too broad, her forehead was too small, and the eyes were completely the wrong color, a sort of brownish red.
She was saying something. It didn't sound like any language he'd ever heard of – and he'd heard a few, following the pervy sage around – but from the tone it was clearly a lecture, or warning, or something. That was like Sakura too, so much so that his heart lurched with homesickness. He opened his mouth to say something back, and then she learned in and kissed him.
So, not like Sakura. Then: oh, I get it. I'm still dreaming. One of those dreams, like the pervy sage said would happen sooner or later.
Naruto eyed his dream girl curiously as she pulled her face away from his. She was cute, no denying it, but...It's too bad my imagination won't give me Sakura-chan. In real life I have to find Sasuke for her, but in a dream it'd be ok...
Oh well. Time to find out what all the fuss was about. Naruto reached out to touch her cheek, but his body was suddenly too hot, and his hand burned, and the effort was too much for him. He slid back into darkness.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
When he woke up next, he was in a bed. A nice bed, with sheets made of a soft slippery fabric he didn't recognize. Overhead was a wooden ceiling, intricately carved with – no, wait, he could see a stone ceiling off to the side, the wooden ceiling belonged to the bed. It was supported by posts at the four corners, and was easily high enough for him to stand up under.
Not that that said much, necessarily – but that wasn't the point! He was just waiting to hit his growth spurt, that was all!
Naruto reached under the covers and scratched himself, yawning hugely. He was just about to try getting back to sleep – that weird weak feeling hadn't just been a dream – when he heard someone clear her throat from somewhere to his right. Groaning, he turned his head, and saw the pink-haired girl watching him, looking testy. Whoops.
"Uhhh – hey?"
She replied with a few words in that same strange language. Even the sound of it was weird, to Naruto's ear: too harsh and too smooth, all at once.
"Sorry, uh, I don't know that language. Never even heard of it."
She said something else, more sharply.
Jiraiya had taught him a few phrases of each language common in the Elemental Countries, and Naruto patiently tried them all, but the girl just stood there, her glare growing darker with each failure.
Probably it was for the best – Naruto didn't really want his first words to her to be "this isn't what it looks like" or "those are some fantastic gazoombas" (especially since they weren't), but Naruto was getting frustrated. Where the hell had the pervy sage taken them, that the language was this completely strange? And why? And for that matter, how?
Naruto hauled himself to his feet and took a few uncertain steps toward her. Two people could communicate even if they didn't share a language – the pervy sage (aka the "great Jiraiya") had taught him that, too. All it took was persistence, and a willingness to look like a total idiot.
"I'm Naruto," he said, tapping his chest. "Nah – roo – tow." She just stared at him, but Naruto persevered. "What's your name?" He asked, pointing at her for emphasis.
She pushed his finger out of the way and said something else. She was starting to sound angry.
Well, if we can't communicate, I can at least make her laugh.
She didn't look any older than him, so he went with the basics. Grinning, he leaped up into the air, spun around, and landed on his hands. But he was weaker than he'd thought; his arms wouldn't support him, and he landed on his head.
That was supposed to be a handstand! Ow...
Worse, she still wasn't laughing! He pulled himself into a sitting position, and tried another smile.
She regarded him with a mix of anger and something like despair. Finally she seemed to take pity on him: she grabbed him by the collar and hauled him up. Her tone now was fierce and low. Her face was inches from his.
Wait a minute. If she wasn't just a dream, then the kiss...he looked away, blushing.
That just made her angrier. She grabbed his nose and pulled his face back around to hers, voice rising. Naruto twisted free and jumped backward, landing heavily on the windowsill. "What the hell's your problem! I don't care how important you are, don't act so superior!"
But she just yelled right back, and brandished a stick at him. Naruto was just drawing in a breath to hurl more insults – he had some good ones lined up, including one he'd heard Jiraiya use – when the air around him exploded.
Naruto staggered back against the window – which was shut, he realized with relief. Still, he could have died! Wishing he had a kunai or something to wave around angrily, he yelled "What the hell was that? You can't go around blowing people up, I ought to – "
The pink-haired girl interjected: "You dare talk back to me! I'll – "
Both froze in mid-rant. Naruto recovered first. "Hey, I understood that!"
His attacker/fantasy/whatever was literally sputtering with rage, momentarily too overwhelmed to form words. Quick, say something! "Wow, so, your bed has its own roof, huh?"
What? Argh, stupid brain, say something else! "I, uh, I mean, what's your name?"
She recovered her voice. "I am Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière. As you are my familiar, you will address me as 'Miss Vallière'."
What?
A little silence fell as they stared at each other.
"Don't you, uh, want to know my name?"
The girl – Louise – frowned some more. "Very well."
He still didn't really understand, but..."Ok! I'm Uzumaki Naruto, ninja of the Leaf and all-around awesome guy! I love ramen and it's my dream to be Hokage!"
Louise had turned away half-way through that speech. "Whatever. You're just a commoner so I suppose I can't expect anything special from you, but you can at least do laundry, right?"
What? Naruto was getting tired of thinking that. "What do you mean, you can't expect anything special from me? I told you before, I'm awesome!"
Louise sighed and tried again, clearly wracking her mind for words of one syllable. "You're just a commoner. Since you can't do anything better, I'll have you wash my clothes."
"What? The hell I will! I don't do laundry!"
Louise sniffed pointedly. "I can tell."
"Screw you! We were camping out, there's no time to wash your clothes when you're training in the woods!" Naruto blinked. Now that he thought about it..."Hey, uh, speaking of that, where's the big white-haired guy who was with me? You can't miss him, he's really loud and obnoxious and he flirts with all the girls. I guess he'd leave you alone though..."
Louise's eye twitched, but all she said was "A mage can't have two familiars. I only summoned you."
There was that word again, 'familiar'. But at least he'd understood part of what she'd said this time. "Summoned? Like with a contract?"
Louise nodded firmly. "That's right. Our contract is complete, and you are bound to serve me until the day I die."
Naruto recoiled. "U-u-until you die?
She smirked at him. "Or until you do."
"What? That's bullshit! You can't just decide something like that. Both people have to agree! I never accepted you!"
Unexpectedly, Louise blushed. "It was - " she cleared her throat " - it was the kiss that sealed it."
"What? I thought I was dreaming! That doesn't count!"
Louise sniffed. "Well, I'll have you know that a kiss with a mere familiar doesn't count either. Or with a commoner, for that matter. But most of all – "
Naruto didn't care about any 'most of all'. "Yeah, and what's with this 'commoner' crap? Just 'cause somebody gave your great-grandfather a title, you think you're special? No matter who you're related to, greatness only comes from your own strength! Believe it!"
"That's right" she nodded; Naruto's hopes sprang up.
And immediately crashed: "Nobles use magic. Our power makes us inherently superior to common folk like you."
"Magic? Like, what you did with the explosion, where we can talk to each other now?"
She rolled her eyes. "Yes, idiot, magic. I have it, you don't." Unexpectedly, she brandished her stick again. Naruto braced himself for another explosion, but nothing seemed to happen. She put the stick back in her pocket with a sigh. "Not even any normal familiar magic, apparently."
Naruto groaned; apparently ninja techniques didn't count for anything with her. But, "Normal familiar magic?"
"If you were a real familiar, I could use my power to see through your eyes and hear through your ears. But I just tried it, and it was useless."
"Well I'm glad! That sounds creepy."
She ignored him. "And real familiars know how to find reagents for their masters. Have you ever even seen a reagent?"
What's a reagent? He managed to avoid saying it out loud, but apparently she picked up on it anyway. Or she could read minds – what a scary thought.
"And if I'm attacked, you must defend me with your life."
Naruto made a face. "Who'd want to defend you?"
She stiffened, and bit out "I doubt you could defeat even an owl or a cat!"
I'm younger than you, and I'm already a strong ninja! I beat Haku! I fought in a war, and I did it without your fancy "magic". But he controlled himself. He had to stop reacting on impulse all the time, had to think ahead – wasn't Jiraiya always saying that? Jiraiya wasn't here, wherever "here" even was, but that just made it more important to follow his advice. He had to stop, and think, and come up with a plan.
But Louise wouldn't leave him alone! "I'll just have you wash my clothes, and serve my meals, and things. Even you should be able to do things like that."
Goaded, Naruto snapped back "And I'm supposed to just do that. For the rest of your life."
"Yes, exactly."
A little silence fell.
At last, Naruto shook his head. Slowly he circled around the bed in the middle of the room, walking toward her. "You know...I have a summoning contract too. With the toad sages of Myoboku Mountain. Just learning to use the summoning technique wasn't good enough – they didn't accept me even after I learned to summon their leader. He made me prove my strength by standing on his head for a full day! It doesn't just take," and here it was Naruto who had to clear his throat, "a kiss or whatever."
Louise snickered. "As if a commoner could ever summon anything! Anyway, you want me to sit on your head?" She brandished a riding crop that she'd been keeping somewhere. "For a familiar, you're pretty perverted."
"Not just that! I'm saying the summoned creature has to accept you, by their rules, before the contract is complete. And..." he leaped over her heard, toward the door, "I don't! See ya never, crazy girl!"
"GET BACK HERE, YOU STUPID DOG!"
But Naruto had already vanished down the hallway.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Sixty seconds into his daring escape, Naruto was hopelessly lost. All the hallways and rooms looked alike, none of them were lit very well, and the only signs were written in the blocky, angular characters of the local language. Louise's translation technique only went so far, it seemed.
Thinking back, he should have just jumped out the window, but he'd been mad. Hell, he was still mad! What gave her the right to look down on him – to look down on anybody? Even if only Nobles had "magic", even if normal people couldn't learn to use it, that just meant they should use that power to protect people! That was what ninja did!
Well, some ninja. The Leaf ninja, anyway. Most of the time. And when he was Hokage, it'd be all the time! Believe it!
Whatever. Louise had pulled him here against his will; even if he wanted to stay and show Louise just how wrong she was, he couldn't. He had to get back to Jiraiya. He'd just have to figure out how to un-summon himself (how did summoned creatures do it?). If he couldn't figure that out, he'd just walk – the Elemental Countries couldn't be that far away.
But first, he had to get out of the castle.
No sooner had he resolved that than he heard voices in the hallway ahead. He didn't quite dare to double back. Louise was back there someplace, and though he'd managed to lose her for the moment, he could still hear her yelling in the distance. She had a really piercing voice, even more than Sakura-chan.
The voices ahead, by contrast, were soft and unalarmed. If he could sneak past...he peeked around the corner.
He spotted a blond boy, and a dark-haired girl in a brown robe. She was giggling at something he'd said, and he was smiling at her as though all the worshipful adoration in her eyes were no more than his just reward. Despite himself, Naruto growled a little.
The girl looked up. "Guiche-sama, did you hear something?"
Naruto ducked back around the corner. Damn it! If I'd just kept quiet...now sneaking past them is going to be tricky.
But the blond boy just laughed. "No, no dear Katie, I heard nothing. When I am in your presence I hear only the sound of your laughter, I see only the depths of your eyes, and I smell only the scent of your hair."
The girl laughed, soft and richly. Other sounds followed. Ugh, I can't believe she bought that cheesy line. It was weird; no matter how stupid they sounded, lines like that always seemed to work – for Jiraiya, at least. And apparently this blond jackass too. But at least they were distracted now.
Naruto walked past, silent and unseen.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
After a dozen more wrong turns into empty, purposeless rooms, Naruto found himself in a great hall. No, a Great Hall, with capital letters: tables as long as the whole Ninja Academy back home, hanging chandeliers, the works. I knew this place was big, I've sure seen enough of it tonight, but I didn't think it could hold this many people.
All things considered it was pretty interesting, and under normal circumstances Naruto would have loved to hang around and get a closer look. But right now, only one feature could hold his attention: the grand double doors at the far end of the hall. They were so huge and impressive that they had to lead outside, and once he was outdoors he'd be home free! He remembered how to navigate by the stars, more or less, and he'd run all night if he had to!
Grinning with enthusiasm for his own plan, Naruto dashed toward the doors.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
The great hall's doors burst open, and Old Osmond hurriedly straightened up from where he'd been leaning against the castle stonework. Even Tristain's mild spring nights were too chill for his old bones nowadays, but a good first impression would be vital. So Osmond ignored the pain in his joints, arranged his features into a look of surprised interest, and took his first real look at Uzumaki Naruto.
He was short – though his spiky hair made him seem taller. Beneath it, his blue eyes sparkled with purpose. Most interestingly of all, he had three slashed whisker marks on each cheek, putting Osmond in mind of a cat. Was he a shape-shifter? A member of some unknown race of animal people, summoned from across the great ocean? Such a fascinating familiar Louise had summoned!
Now to stop him from getting away...
"Hello, Mister Naruto," Old Osmond said to the boy, and turned the Smile on him.
In a long life filled with sophisticated magical achievements, the Smile was perhaps Osmond's greatest work. It conveyed a carefully-balanced mixture of wisdom, friendliness, experience, and naiveté. It said, "I am old and wise, friendly and useful, but not any sort of threat." He'd had many occasions to use it during his years as Headmaster, and it had always served him well.
It had no effect whatsoever on his secretary, but one couldn't have everything. Especially not at Osmond's age.
In any case, this "Naruto" was made of weaker stuff than Ms. Longueville; he melted visibly, and instead of darting off the way he clearly wanted to, he said "Uh, hi there. Listen, I'm sorry, but I kinda have to run..."
"Don't worry; Miss Vallière is searching beneath the servant's quarters right now. She thinks you've taken refuge in the stockrooms there."
The boy's face wrinkled up with irritation. On a more imposing figure that expression might have looked quite fierce, but on him it was merely cute. His response didn't help. "Awww, c'mon already! I told her I was leaving!"
Osmond chuckled, rich and low. "Yes, you did, but Miss Vallière did not believe you. Not really. Despite everything she has her pride, as a mage and as a Noble, and she cannot let herself believe that her familiar might abandon her."
The boy swallowed. That abandon had hit hard, Osmond could see, but Naruto persevered. "Hey, it's not like I asked to be summoned! And anyway, Louise said I'm supposed to do her laundry and stuff for my whole life, just because! Isn't that slavery? It's wrong!"
"You're right," Osmond agreed, and enjoyed the flicker of surprise that flowed over the boy's face. He pressed his advantage: "Your existence challenges much of what we mages thought we knew of the summoning ritual. Usually the ritual summons an ordinary animal – a bird or a cat, perhaps. An especially powerful mage might summon a dragon, or a gryphon, or some other mighty magical beast, but usually it's just an ordinary animal, conjured from somewhere in this world."
He gave Naruto a moment to process that. Just as the boy was opening his mouth to ask a question, he continued: "Usually it's a good thing – my cute Motsognir can't imagine life without me, nor I without him. Without his familiar rune he'd have an ordinary mouse's intelligence and lifespan, and he'd have died long ago. And that's not considering the other gifts that our relationship has granted us." He fixed Naruto with his second-most-intense stare. "For Louise to summon a someone like you as a familiar is completely unprecedented. I wonder what powers you'll develop together?"
Naruto lashed out with one hand, punching the castle wall in mute, angry denial. "Who cares about that? What's the use of having power if you're not around to protect the people who matter to you? You have to send me back!"
Interesting. The word 'abandon' hurt him, even though he knew it wasn't just. But when I offered him power, he ignored it completely. Aloud, he said: "The familiar ritual is one of our oldest spells. No one really understands how it works anymore. No one here can do what you're asking – probably no one anywhere can. After some research, we might – "
Naruto wasn't interested in research. "Fine, then I'll just walk! Even if it takes two years, I won't let that stop me!"
How determined! And how like Louise, who demanded to be admitted to my school without even one success to her credit. But he's acting as though..."Can it truly be that simple? What about your left hand?"
Looking baffled, Naruto held it up. He stared intently at his own palm for a moment, but it yielded up no secrets. At last, he looked back up at Osmond. "What about it?"
He doesn't know? How can he not have – None of those pained thoughts reached Osmond's face; all he said was "Turn it over. Look at the back."
Suspiciously, Naruto did so. For a moment his face registered simple shock, and then he growled, low in his throat. "Damn it! Another seal?"
Quietly filing that "another" away for more thought later (not to mention that strange new word "seal"), Osmond said, "I'm afraid so. Those runes symbolize the bond between Master and Familiar. My adorable Motsognir bears a similar set." Although, I've never seen runes quite like those. Have I? I'll have to look them up. Ahh,what a sorrow it is to be old...
Then again, he was Headmaster of the school. What were subordinates for, if not for taking care of tedious little jobs like that? Now, who's annoyed me the most lately? Miss Chevreuse managed to blow up that classroom...Osmond's happy musings were interrupted, yet again, by Naruto.
"Augh! Of course! Everything's about the frigging familiar ritual around here! But even so," and Naruto's voice had turned low and serious, "I won't let this stop me either! No way! A seal's just a seal; it doesn't have to decide your whole life!" Panting, Naruto flung out his left arm, as if trying to physically cast away the familiar runes. "I told you before, the circumstances don't matter! I have to go back!"
One more gambit to try, then. Osmond shrugged, elaborately casual. "If your mind's that made up, I suppose there's nothing I can say. But before you go, would you join an old man in his stargazing for a few moments?" When Naruto hesitated, Osmond pressed shamelessly: "Miss Vallière is now lost in the stockrooms herself; it will be several minutes yet before she can join us."
"I guess so, then. But after that..."
Osmond nodded benignly. "Of course"
Naruto stepped through the doors of the great hall. He passed under the archway, and out of the roofed alcove that covered it. And for the first time since he'd arrived in this strange new place, Naruto looked up at the night sky.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
There were two moons.
There were two moons.
Naruto's brain couldn't process it at first. There was just the moon, only way bigger and shinier than usual, and then this other big red round thing a little bit behind it, and it was round, and it was red, but it couldn't be a moon because there was no such thing as a moon, there was just the moon, just one of it, that was what the word meant!
But even after Naruto thought all that, and wiped his eyes, and boldly looked up again, there were still two moons in the sky.
Behind him, the old guy was saying something about lunar conjunctions and a periapsis, whatever that was. Naruto rounded on him. "What the hell, old man? What's that extra moon doing up there?"
"As far I as know, it's always been that way. Is it different where you come from?"
"YES! We have one moon, and it's not so big, and it's not so bright, and, and..." Naruto trailed off, panting. The implications were starting to sink in.
This isn't just some other country, or even some other continent.
No matter how far I walk, or swim, or even fly...
"No! I won't accept it! Everyone said it was impossible for me to graduate from the Ninja Academy, and I did it! Everyone said I could never beat Neji, and I did it! Everyone thinks there's no way I can bring Sasuke back, but I'm going to do that too! I made a promise of a lifetime!"
The old man was nodding thoughtfully. "So you truly are from another world. I admit I suspected, but I wasn't sure until now."
"Yeah, well, that 'other world' is my home! I have to go back, it's where I belong!"
The robed wizard turned away, seeming to study the moon. Moons. "I expect you're right. But is it where you're needed?"
"Huh?" What was it with old men and saying weird things that didn't make any sense?
"Never mind, never mind; it was just an old man's fancy. But if I may ask: didn't you say you'd go home even if it took you two years?"
"That's right! I won't give up no matter what it takes!"
The old man's face twitched, very briefly. It was an expression he'd seen on Old Man Hokage's face once or twice, and he'd never known what it meant then, either. In a patient voice, the old man spoke again: "In that case, may I ask you to remain with Miss Vallière for a few days?" Naruto drew an outraged breath, but the old man cut across him: "It will take time to figure out how to reverse the spell; perhaps several weeks. Until then, may I ask - "
Naruto's fury blossomed. "WEEKS? You want me to stay with that nasty, vicious – "
"You have two years, don't you? Have patience for now."
Now that was so close to one of Jiraiya's lectures that it might have been a quote. "Think of it as patience training, brat." That was exactly what he would have said. Damn it. But having to put up with that pink-haired crazy girl, for weeks? That went way beyond normal patience!
But the old man seemed to be reading his mind. Still smiling, he said "She might not have made a good first impression, but Louise is a kind girl at heart. The full story isn't mine to tell, but I can say this much: she wants more than anything to impress everyone with her amazing summoning. When you ran away from her, she began to fear that she'd failed."
Put like that...I really have no choice. Naruto sighed. "It's not that I don't want to help, it's just – I made a promise, you know?" Sakura, Jiraiya, Sasuke,even Tsunade – they're my precious people now. I can't abandon them!
The old man nodded, scratching his chin beneath his long beard. "I understand. It will require study, but this is a school of magic; I'm sure we can find a way to return you to your home. Until then, will you stay beside Miss Vallière?"
Naruto took a breath. Let it out slowly. Drew in another, and used it to say, "Yeah. Yeah, okay."
As soon as he said it, something inside Naruto relaxed, some unspecified ineffable thing that he hadn't even realized was tense until that moment. He didn't stop to question it; Naruto was never one to think too hard about his own feelings. And anyway, it wasn't so strange; he was always at his best when he had a concrete plan to follow, or enemy to fight. Not knowing what to do was his worst enemy, but now he had a plan: sit still and wait for the old man to figure everything out. Sure, it wasn't as active as his normal plans, but he'd promised to do it, and he'd never go back on his word.
Reassured, Naruto waved to the nice old man, turned about, and walked willingly into Tristain Magic Academy.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Behind Naruto's back, Osmond slipped his wand back into his robes. He'd only planned to use a simple Sleeping spell, but even so he was glad not to do it. He'd never fought in a war – hardly ever fought at all, if he could avoid it – and sneak attacks always left him a little heartsick.
The lies he'd told, on the other hand, didn't bother him at all.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Naruto found her in the wine cellar, just as the old man had said. She'd stopped yelling by then, choosing instead to prowl up and down the long aisles in infuriated silence. When she saw him, her expression hardened. He tried a smile.
"Heya. Listen, about before - "
"So you've given up on escape?"
Technically that was true, but hearing it put like that..."It's just that everything's so weird. You've got these screwy names, and you all dress funny - and there are two moons! Why the hell are there two moons?"
"Of course there are two. What does that have to do with anything? Honestly, what did I do to deserve – "
"This isn't my world!"
That stopped her cold.
"You didn't just summon me from another country, or across the ocean, or anything like that. It's a whole different reality! Where I'm from there's just one moon, and it's a lot smaller than either of yours! And we don't have "magic" or "nobles" or whatever, we have chakra and ninjas instead! And I'm a totally kick-ass ninja! So even if I don't know what a reagent is, you can't take me lightly! Believe it!"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Louise's mind was whirling.
Her familiar had run away...bad.
Her familiar had come back...good.
Her familiar came from so far away that he didn't even know the most basic, ordinary things...bad.
Her familiar had some kind of power, despite his mundane looks...good? That, at least, she could do something about. So right there in the wine cellar, sitting on a stool and with her back to wine cask, Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière commanded her familiar to talk.
She'd finally found an order he didn't have any problem obeying.
Naruto would, she quickly learned, happily talk forever on any subject that entered his mind. The hard part was to keep him focused on ninja magic instead of ramen or arrogant bastards or 'pervert toad hermits' (?). Even when he was on-subject his explanations weren't very clear; he'd go on talking as long as she let him but he never remembered to explain basic things like "you don't need a wand to use ninja spells". Still, after half an hour of careful questioning she thought she was starting to get the idea.
Ninja had spells, only they called them "techniques". Instead of incantations made of words, they used sequences of hand gestures. Ninjas were limited in the number of techniques they could cast before they had to rest, but the limiting resource was called 'chakra' instead of willpower, and it involved the body somehow; Naruto had gotten pretty vague when she'd asked for details about that.
Ninja-ness wasn't inherited or innate, like nobility or magic. It was a profession that you had to study for, like...being a blacksmith, or something. Or, better example, like being a knight; once you finished your training, Naruto said, you spent your time searching for the enemies of your country and "getting into crazy fights". Or maybe walking dogs and gardening; Naruto had been vague about that, too – something to do with a 'pervert scarecrow'? For her own sanity's sake, Louise had changed the subject.
Strangest of all, a typical ninja only learned a few techniques in his lifetime. Louise had known a dozen simple spells before she'd even entered the Academy (or the theory behind them, anyway); a strong ninja might learn that many techniques in his whole life.
But those few spells could be shockingly powerful.
Transformation – a flawless, full-body disguise that could be used to imitate anyone the caster had ever seen, or could imagine.
Replacement – switching positions with a nearby object, so quickly that it looked like teleportation.
Shadow Clone – his most astonishing technique of all. It produced half a dozen perfect copies of the caster, all of whom could fight, think, or use other spells – techniques, she reminded herself – with complete freedom, their power limited only by the amount of chakra their creator had given them. Naruto claimed to have created one hundred such clones at once, but Louise was already learning to tune out his ridiculous boasts. From the way he was leaning against the wine casks at the end of the demonstration, and the grateful sigh with which he accepted their energy when they dispersed, it was clear that his limit was more like six. Maybe eight, after he'd had some sleep.
Such a strange set of powers. She'd still have preferred something more obviously impressive – a dragon, maybe – but she supposed that all his weird, sneaky magic could be useful in its own way. He was definitely better than a cat or a raven, anyway, though for some weird reason he scowled when she told him so. Having such an ignorant and mannerless creature for a familiar was going to be very tiresome, she could already tell.
While she was thinking that, Naruto yawned; an enormous jaw-cracking thing that gave her a great view of his tonsils, not that she'd wanted to see them. Her familiar was so crude, and unrefined, and – she caught herself yawning too, albeit with far more dignity. It had been late when they'd started; now it was long past time for a proper young Noble and her familiar to go to bed.
Which ran her head-long into another problem: where was he going to sleep?
Her half-formed plan to scrounge him some straw from the stables wouldn't do at all, she could see that now. With his ninja spells he was sort of like a Noble, Louise reasoned, and besides that, his treatment as her familiar reflected on her, didn't it? A mage who summoned a dragon wouldn't let some ignorant stablehand put it in a pigsty. That being so...
"Hey, Louise-san, are you ok? You look kinda - "
"You'll be sleeping in my bed tonight."
The boy's stupid-looking face twisted up in shock and confusion. Flushing, Louise rushed to explain herself: "Don't get the wrong idea! You need a place to sleep, and I won't let my familiar sleep in the dirt like a pig! That's all!"
Naruto practically melted with embarrassed relief. Momentarily bereft of direction, his tongue went off on its own. "Oh! Right, of course! Ahahahaha! Not that I thought you meant anything else, but I just – I was surprised – but it – of course!"
Hmph. You don't have to be that relieved about it, Louise thought. "It's just for tonight. Tomorrow morning I have the day off, so we'll make better arrangements then. Don't get any ideas."
"I would never! I'm not some pervert!"
Louise nodded. Really that remains to be seen, but..."Then come along; it's time for bed."
Naruto yawned again, looking sheepish. "Guess I can't argue with that." Louise nodded, rose, and headed for the stairs that led back to female students' wing. And for the first time in their new, shared life, her familiar followed her.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Six hours ago, the Listener had risen screaming from her trance. Ignoring her minders, she'd turned unseeing eyes on the tent at the center of their encampment. Trying to walk she'd managed only a lurching crawl, but it didn't matter; the spirits of the earth felt her need, and lifted the Chief's tent – with the Chief still inside – and set it down around her.
They'd been cloistered together, talking, ever since.
The subject was easy to guess. They'd all felt the wave of satanic power from the West, seen the heartfires blaze and die away. They'd seen the tiny bodies of Riluar's speaking songbirds, lying bright-breasted beneath their tree in an obscene parody of autumn. And so the elves of Sathial's Watch set down their tasks and gathered outside their Chief's tent, waiting for her to call upon them for the action that would inevitably follow.
The demons of the West could no longer be ignored.