Title: In Absentia
Rated: T-M
Summary: I do not really want to give too much away. Absentia means absent…. GRILOWS VERSION
A/N: For Sunni Foty ( My sister from another mister)
~0~
Catherine Grissom put her car in park and sighed. She was late picking Ethan up again and the director, Mrs. Cutter, wasn't going to be too pleased. It was winter in Minnesota and the snow was falling quickly. The big flakes had already covered her windshield in the small amount of time that she had been parked in front of 'Tiny Town'. When she pushed the door open she was hit with an icy blast of wind that nearly took her breath away. She had to cover her mouth with her scarf and pull her furry hood over her head.
When she pushed open the double doors Mrs. Cutter was standing there, just as Catherine thought she would be. Hesitantly she approached the desk, expecting an onslaught of complaints. Things hadn't exactly been working out lately and she was sure that being expelled from 'Tiny Town' would be the icing on the cake.
"Mrs. Grissom," Mrs. Cutter said. "I know things have been hard for you this past year, but I have to follow the guidelines. If I make exceptions for you then every parent will expect them."
Catherine nodded. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "I keep getting held over at work."
Mrs. Cutter opened a folder and pulled out a few sheets of construction paper. Catherine took the time to look at each one. They reflected Ethan's imagination to a 'T' and she knew that they belonged to her son.
"These drawings are getting very disturbing," Mrs. Cutter said. "I think it would be best if he went to see a counselor."
Catherine was taken aback and her pride made her recoil at the thought. There was nothing wrong with her son and she wanted to make that that perfectly clear to the woman. Struggling to hold her temper in, she folded up the drawings and tucked them into her bag.
"I may consider that," she said with a tight smile.
Mrs. Cutter nodded to her. "I'm glad to hear it," she replied. "Ethan is with Carol in the classroom."
Catherine turned and walked down the hallway that had walls lined with childish art. As she walked she caught herself wondering if she would ever take Ethan to a professional. In the past she had known parents who neglected their child's mental health. Maybe it would be best to consider it an option.
"There's mom," Carol, a teaching assistant, said as Catherine stepped through the doorway of the classroom designated for four-year-olds.
"Mommy," Ethan cried, pushing his chair back and running to her.
Catherine bent down to wrap her arms around the excited child. When he was finally in her arms, she could smell the tell-tale sign of grape jelly. When she pulled her son back to look him over, she noticed that she was right. A clump of his hair stood straight up and was matted with jelly.
Catherine smiled. "Did you eat jelly today?" she said.
"I eat a sandwich," the boy said proudly.
"I see," she replied, grabbing the small red coat of the hook on the wall.
"Mrs. Grissom," Mrs. Cutter said from the doorway. "I am sorry to have to say this, but this can't happen again. If you fail to pick up your son on time, then I will be forced to expel him."
Catherine clenched her teeth as she helped the child into his coat. The urge to throttle the woman was strong, but having Ethan present calmed her nerves. So instead of retaliating, she straightened up and smiled.
"It won't happen again," she promised.
Catherine turned to exit the room, but Mrs. Cutter spoke up again. "I know it has been hard since your husband passed. Maybe you should look for a twenty-four hour daycare."
Catherine went rigid at the mention of Gil. She did not think it was appropriate for anyone to bring up such a raw factor in her life; especially in front of her son.
"I may do that," she said as she turned to leave, but then she added. "He's not dead. He's missing."
As she walked down the hallway, son in tow, she fought the tears that were brimming behind her eyelids. She tried so hard not to cry in front of the children. She was tired of the looks of pity from everyone. She was so tired of trying to remain sane.
"Poor woman," she heard Carol mutter.
~o~
After she left the daycare, she had driven by Brookside Elementary to pick Sunni up from her aftercare program. As the eight-year-old climbed into the car, Catherine felt a wave of sadness hit her. She was supposed to be happy about picking up her children and going home, but instead she was dreading the fact that she was going home to an empty house.
"How was your day, honeybee?" Catherine asked her daughter as she carefully pulled out of the parking lot and into traffic.
"Fine," she said. "We studied bugs in class. The teacher asked me to talk about them."
Catherine felt sad for her child. "Did you talk about them?" she asked.
Sunni shook her head. "No," she whispered. "I didn't want to."
Catherine frowned and looked at Sunni in the rearview mirror. "Daddy would want you to," she offered.
Sunni did not respond and Catherine did not press the issue. When Gil had been around, Sunni had been his sidekick. They were always looking for insects in the woods or by the lake. When Gil had vanished, Sunni's appetite for discovery did too.
"How about pizza?" Catherine suggested, trying to bring a ray of excitement into the car.
"Yeah!" Ethan said from his car seat.
Sunni grumbled a response and Catherine turned in the direction of Pizza Palace.
~o~
Ethan was still too young to eat a slice of pizza without getting sauce all over his face, so Catherine usually ended up cutting his food into bite sized pieces. Pizza Palace had always been a favorite of the small family and Catherine had hoped that the happy memories would perk the family up.
"You need to eat your dinner," Catherine said to Sunni, who was picking at her food.
Sunni took a bite of pizza to satisfy her mother, but then let the slice drop down onto her napkin. Catherine sighed; she was so lost without her husband. Gil had always been the one to handle Sunni's mood swings. He had a way of connecting with her that she didn't have. Sometimes she had felt a stab of jealousy in regards to the bond the two had shared.
"Mommy is trying, Sun," she said, and then she propped her chin up on her elbows. "Do you remember the time daddy ate that jalapeño pepper?"
Sunni nodded. "Yes," she said, taking another bite out of her pizza slice.
Catherine smiled. "Do you remember how much water he drank and how red his face got?"
Sunni smiled at the memory. "Yes," she said.
Catherine smiled wider and continued the story. "It was so funny to see him coughing and spitting," she said, laughing. "He looked like a tomato."
Ethan, who had been a baby at the time, laughed along with them. Ethan had always been Catherine's sidekick. The two often rough housed, played toy cars, or read books about dinosaurs. By losing Gil, Sunni had not only lost a father, she had lost her best friend.
Sunni threw a spoon at her little brother. "You don't even remember!" She screamed at him.
"Sunni!" Catherine said, picking the spoon up off the floor. "You're a big sister. You shouldn't-"
"I don't care!" Sunni pouted loudly. "I wish daddy hadn't died. I wish you had died."
Catherine set the spoon on the table softly and looked around the restaurant. People had their eyes fixed intently on her. She felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. She looked down at Sunni, who was now looking remorseful.
"Let's go home," she said, picking up Ethan's coat.
~o~
How could he just walk up to her and explain what happened? He had run the scenario over in his mind several times, but each instance ended the same. How could he convince her that there had been no other option and there still wasn't? The only reason he had returned to Minnesota was to check on his family, but know that he had seen that they were safe; he could go back into hiding.
Seeing what he just saw disturbed him greatly. The family was physically safe, but they were far beyond fine. Catherine appeared to be healthy, but he knew her well enough to know that she was letting stress take a toll on her. It wasn't normal stress she was dealing with, it was the loss of her spouse and the father of her children.
Gil felt a wave of guilt for not being able to help her grieve for him, but he would not risk his family's life. It had been his choice, after the attack, to disappear. After all, they had given him an ultimatum. He could either die or have his family killed. He would not accept the latter, but he refused to give in. The first night he slept alone without Catherine, his mind raced. He couldn't imagine what she was going through. After all, she had probably been the one to discover the blood.
Catherine had never been the one to accept circumstances and he could tell that she was still holding onto him. He was glad that she was because when the danger had subsided, he had hoped to be reunited with his family. His wife still wore her wedding ring. She also took to wearing his giant winter coat that he had bought when they moved up north.
As he watched the scene in Pizza Palace unfold, he wanted so badly to go comfort his family. Hearing Catherine retell a wonderful family memory had ached him more than he anticipated, but it was their lives that needed to come first. He assumed emotional turmoil was better than death.
~o~
As Catherine helped Ethan into his coat she saw a burly man in a plaid coat rise from his booth and quickly leave the restaurant. Apparently her family had been so unruly that even strangers were losing their appetite.
"Mom, "Sunni whispered. "I'm sorry."
Catherine smiled at her daughter and helped her into her coat. "It is alright," she said. "Let's try to love each other the best we can."
As the family drove home, Catherine found herself remembering the horrible day that changed her life forever. The family of four had been seated in the living room, watching a rerun of America's Funniest Home Videos when the power went out.
"Daddy," Sunni complained, as if Gil controlled the power in the house.
The couple had been stretched out on the couch, relishing the small amount of togetherness they had in their busy lives. Gil sighed loudly and rose to find his shoes.
"Nobody get up," he joked. "I got it."
Catherine pulled herself up as well. Her eyes hadn't yet adjusted to the dark, but she could make out Gil's shape in front of her pulling his shoes on. She fumbled on the side table for her phone, found it, and used it as a flashlight.
"It has to be a fuse," Gil commented.
"Fix it, daddy," Sunni said from her place on the floor.
Catherine looked down at Ethan and saw that he was fast asleep. She handed Sunni her phone and stood to pick up the sleeping toddler.
"Shine the light so I can put your brother in bed," she said.
Catherine and Sunni had gone back into the bedroom to put Ethan in bed. When they returned they sat on the couch and waited for Gil to come back inside.
He never returned.
Finally, Catherine pulled on Gil's big coat and went outside to find the fuse box. It was likely that he was still trying to figure things out. When she reached the metal box, Gil was not there. Instead she was greeted by the horrible sight of dark red snow. On the ground, near the side of the house, lay the flashlight that he had been using.
"Gil!" she called into the night.
Catherine picked up the light and pointed the beam towards the woods. Had an animal come an attacked him while he wasn't looking? She dismissed that Idea because she knew who had taken Gil and why. The most important question was far more horrifying for her to ask.
Was he still alive?