Edit: When I transferred this from Word to the Doc Manager, I forgot to check for the horizontal rulers. So if you read this fic before this edit, sorry for the confusion caused. The mistake has been corrected and thus this repost.
Just another LilyxJames fic. Inspired by the constant clicking of my friend's camera throughout a 3-week long school trip. Also, the muggle camera mentioned in this fic is like a polaroid camera type, with the photos coming out instantly. I wrote this while half-awake, so I apologize for any weird sentence structures or ideas. I read through it twice and edited it, but I may have missed out some errors.
-Ash.
It started when you were maybe eight or nine. Your father showed you the new contraption he'd gotten- a camera, he told you. It was a device that allowed you to bring a piece of something you wanted to remember away with you. You still remember the sense of awe you felt when he took a picture of you- click- and showed you yourself without having to use a mirror. The crimson hair, the emerald eyes, even the freckles splattered lightly across your nose- the photo made an exact copy of you in an instant.
From that moment on, you were fascinated with photography and it wasn't unusual to see you exploring the world through the lens of a camera.
You were ten when you found out that you were magical and that a wizarding school named Hogwarts wanted you. You still remember walking through that wall to Platform 9 ¾ and seeing the red steam engine for the first time.
You could feel your camera resting against your thigh through the thin layer of your sling bag, but you were afraid to get a picture-as if this was a dream and wouldn't show up on photo.
As if walking through walls and having a school that looked like a castle and a feast that appeared magically wasn't enough to take in for one day, they had to have pictures and portraits that moved too. Imagine, if you were that amazed with something that could capture a still second in time, what about something that could capture a whole moment? Scenery that could change according to seasons, portraits that had their own characteristics and attitudes.
Your silly muggle camera paled in comparison.
It started when you were maybe twelve or thirteen. Sirius pointed her out to you. A pretty little redhead with a temper to match, piercing green eyes that made you feel like your soul was being judged- Lily Evans, he told you. She was that queer girl who hung out with the greasy-haired Slytherin all the time. You still remember the sense of protectiveness you felt for her when you thought of Snivellus and how he mocked her just by pretending to be friends with her while she remained so naïve and innocent.
Just then, she whipped her head round to face you- her hair flying around her head like a blazing inferno- and looked at you with those magnificent green eyes. She rolled her eyes at you in annoyance when she caught you staring and promptly turned her attention back to Professor McGonagall.
From that moment on, you were fascinated with this strange girl and it wasn't unusual to see you watching her during class and having her roll her eyes at you every single time she caught you.
Then one day in 4th year, you heard some Slytherins laughing as they watched Snivellus leading the poor girl on as if they were really best friends. You couldn't take it anymore and hexed him with a Levicorpus, exposing this dingy underwear for the world to see. You just wanted to mock him the way he mocked her, give him a taste of his own medicine, but it ended up backfiring completely when he insulted her bloodline.
That was the day Lily Evans began to close herself off from the world, living like an empty shell, void of any emotion.
You tried to get her back, but she didn't want to hear it. She convinced herself that he only did it because you pushed him to- and maybe she was right- but he was the one who said the word- not you- so you never apologized.
A few weeks after the Snape incident, while walking back to the Gryffindor common room, you overhear Lily asking Marlene for a camera. But a camera isn't something that is very popular in the wizarding world, and Marlene has never seen the need to get one, so she explains this to Lily. You can almost imagine the look of disappointment on Evans's face as she replies, "it's alright" and changes the subject.
Meanwhile, you are rejoicing with this newfound piece of information. Evans has an interest in photography? Finally, that camera your parents bought you so many birthdays ago can come into good use.
You make up your mind to dig up that old black box at the bottom of your trunk because you will be talking to Evans tonight.
"So I heard you're interested in photography."
She looks up from her book and eyes your reclining form next to her on the couch. Her green, green eyes travel up your body, taking in your feet on the coffee table, your crumpled shirt and tie hanging loosely around your neck, your ever-present smirk and finally reach your own hazel eyes. She raises a delicate eyebrow at you, her expression scornful.
"What's it to you, Potter?" she spits your name out like venom. "And where'd you even hear that, anyway?"
"Just trying to be friendly," you say, earning yourself a skeptical look from her. "And I have my sources."
This earns you another one of her characteristic eyerolls, but you continue anyway, never letting your confidence or your smirk drop.
"I was just thinking, I have a camera that I don't really want-"
This causes her to snap her book shut and she turns to you with a sudden interest in what you have to saw. Now her eyes are staring into yours with such passion that it captivates you and makes you unable to think- or even breathe for that matter. It has been so long since you last saw any emotion in her eyes instead of the emptiness that has to come reside in it recently.
"Continue," she urges.
"Right, so I have this camera just lying around, unused and unwanted. Since you seem so interested in photography, I guess I could loan you mine for the time being."
"What's the catch?"
This doesn't take you by surprise because you know that she wouldn't just throw her arms around you in elation and accept your offer. Of course, Lily Evans was smarter than that and would think that something was up. Why would you be so nice to her? Why the change of heart?
Because you miss her- you tell yourself. You miss the old Lily Evans who used to look at you with those piercing eyes. You miss the old Lily Evans who used to snort and guffaw with Marlene and Dorcas in the Great Hall during meals. You miss the old Lily Evans who used to smile with her friends, but glare at you.
And you hate the new Lily, the boring, empty, soulless person she has become. And you hate yourself even more for turning her into what she is.
But you would never admit all that to her.
"There's no catch. As I said, I'm just trying to be nice."
"Says the prat who made my best friend turn against me."
"Aye, I didn't turn him against you, I just wanted to teach him a lesson. It's not my fault he called you uh that."
"He never would have called me that if you hadn't tortured him in front of the whole school!" she begins to raise her voice and you know that this would lead to another one of your infamous arguments with her if you don't stop it.
"Okay, fine, I shouldn't have hexed him in front of the whole school," you say, not meaning a single word.
You watch as she calms herself down, the redness in her cheeks slowly subsiding, her fists unclenching and her jaw relaxing.
"But seriously, I just want to loan you my camera. At least it would be put to some use then."
"Oh, alright. But there must be something I can do for you in return. I don't just take without giving."
You cock your head to the side for a moment as you think, your hand reaching up to ruffle your hair instinctively.
"Okay, I've got it. Let me take a photo of you and keep it."
"James, this is amazing!"
It's only been a few hours, but you feel more carefree and happy than you've had in a while because you've got a camera- a magical one, not your silly muggle one- and nothing can stop you because it's just you and the camera and the pictures are moving and they're beautiful- more beautiful than you've ever imagined- and it just feels wonderful to hear that familiar click and see the world through the lens of a camera again.
You feel so light and floaty that you don't even notice yourself calling him by his first name until you've said it aloud.
But it feels great, the way his name just rolls off your tongue and you want to say it again and again and again and again because even though he's the one who put you in your misery in the first place, he's also the one who brought you out of it and allowed you to feel so free and euphoric and any animosity between the two of you has been long forgotten- just because of one little click and a picture that fucking moves.
"I don't like this photo," you hear him whine.
You put the camera down and walk over to where he is in the shade of a tree. You grab the photo from his hands and realize it's the photo he took of you- the first shot the camera took. You look at the photo and laugh- a bubbly laugh that rises from your chest, through your throat and out your lips- it's something you haven't really done since that event with Snape, but it feels nice to be doing it again.
So you do it again. You laugh and you laugh and you laugh. It contrasts with the photo because here you are, laughing and smiling while in the photo you are rolling your eyes in annoyance, a sullen expression on your face.
"Here, try this one."
You hand him your muggle camera- a little beaten up and scratched from the times you dropped it.
You look into the lens of the camera and smile, just as you did so many years ago in your little muggle home with your dad behind the lens, back when the camera was still shiny and new.
You hear that click and leap over to James so you can look at the photo with him.
"You're beautiful, Lily," he murmurs quietly, making you blush as red as your hair. You secretly love the way he says your name ever so gently and tenderly, the complete opposite of how he usually calls you.
You elbow him and roll your eyes, but this only makes him smirk and hold up the photo.
"Now I can see your smile whenever I want. No more rolling eyes for me. I honestly prefer your muggle photos. At least they don't start walking out of the frames if they don't like you."
You grab his camera and snap a photo of him now and hold it up for him to see.
"Well, I still like your magical photos because they capture the true essence of a subject. For example, this photo shows just how much of an arrogant prick you are."
You say all this while gesturing to the confident smirk and the hand that reaches up every few seconds to ruffle his hair but this only makes him laugh- his eyes becoming tiny slits from smiling so widely- and he puts an arm around your shoulder casually.
"But that's why you love me."
You step out from underneath his arm and stare at him, shaking your head while grinning impishly at him.
"I most certainly do not love you. I just love your camera, that's all."
"Lily!" he shouts in mock hurt and anger and steps towards you.
You yelp and start running as fast as you can- leaping and bounding across the soft grass. The sense of freedom coupled with the thrill of adrenaline makes you feel like you've sprouted wings on your back, wings that can make you fly, fly away. With every step you take, you feel lighter and lighter, and your worries and sadness are long gone and forgotten, as if you just shed them all and left them in the dirt behind you as you just keep running forward.
Out of nowhere, a pair of strong arms wrap around your waist from behind and you scream and fall to the ground, the soft, soft grass breaking your fall as you tumble and roll with this boy who has made you so happy with just a stupid camera and his wittiness and playfulness and his terribly handsome smirk.
He stops rolling and grabs you with him so you stop rolling too and you're looking into his hazel eyes with the little gold specks and all of a sudden, you realize that he lent you his camera because he knew you would be happy using it, and why did he even care? Was it possible that even after the billion and one heated arguments you two shared, he still cared for you? That he, just like you did, held back a little whenever he hollered an insult at you across the common room?
And in that moment, with his arms still wrapped around your waist protectively and yours against his chest, with his heart thudding underneath your fingers, you knew all the answers. Because when he inclined his head and brought it closer to yours, and you closed your eyes and your lips finally FINALLY met his soft ones, your fingers moving up to intertwine in his hair, you felt that click. Not a click that you heard, but a click that you felt.
It was a sunny summer day with clear blue skies and the Black Lake glittering beautifully behind you as you lay on the lush green grass, just two teenagers, young and in love, it was just a picture perfect moment.
Every head turned to see you walk through the portrait hole with James Potter by your side, your fingers interlocked with each other's. There was a moment of silence and you felt terribly awkward and self-conscious, but suddenly the common room erupted into cheers.
Apparently, Sirius had spread the word that the two of you had gone out together and since it was common knowledge that James had the biggest crush on you (or maybe not so common since you, of all people, didn't know), it was highly likely that he would make his move on you today.
And you, being you, just rolled your eyes while James, being James, just smirked and ruffled his hair.
"Wow, Lils, your old muggle camera? Would this count as regifting?"
"You aren't much better, James. You gave me your camera."
"But mine hasn't been used by anyone but you!"
"Still counts as regifting."
"But it's still a great present."
"Mm, I guess."
"You guess?"
"Alright, it's the best present ever, James. Thank you."
"That's more like it. Thank you for your present too. Merry Christmas, love."
"Merry Christmas, James."
You hear a familiar click and turn to see the lens of a camera with James behind it.
"Oi! James, that's my camera!"
You smile and pretend to grab it from him, but he tucks it under his arm and blocks you with his back while he looks at the photo.
"Wow, Lils, you never do change, do you? From the first shot we took till now, our graduation?" he says, laughing as he hands you the photo. It's so similar to the photo he took of you two years ago- the first photo the camera ever took- the only difference being that you no longer wore a sullen expression, but rolled your eyes while smiling instead.
Click. You're the one who took the picture this time, with your old muggle camera, which is now his. While James was busy laughing, you took a picture, hoping to catch an awkward picture of him. But he still came out looking as dashing as ever, his head thrown back, eyes in tiny slits from the wide smile. It was a picture of true, genuine happiness- no posing, no faking- just raw, natural happiness.
You hand him the photo.
"I like this one."
"I like this one too."
"I thought you didn't like muggle photos?"
"Well, this one's special. It actually captures one moment that needs to be frozen in time."
He grins at you and catches your fingers between his large ones.
Click. Click.
You turn to find Remus grinning at the two of you, with both your magical camera and James's muggle camera in his hands.
"What? It seemed like another moment that needed to be captured. And I couldn't decide which camera."
You dart forward and snatch both photos from his hands, thanking Remus for the photos, even though were uncalled for.
It was a beautiful shot; you decide, even for a muggle camera, both of you grinning at each other with one hand intertwined.
The one that really blew your mind, though, was the magical shot. It was a true picture of your characters- you rolling your eyes, and James smirking and ruffling his hair. But the one thing that remained the same in both pictures- your intertwined hands.
The revelation brought tears to your eyes as you hand James the photo and bury your face in his chest. Because no matter what happens after today- whether you go to the muggle world, or stay in the wizarding world, you know that you'll always be with him.