Secrecy

Save Me

'I didn't.' I said again, before storming out of the Minute Mart into the Market. I heard Roxy's heels clapping against the floor of the minute mart, a steady rhythm thumping dully in my head.

'Then why this?' Roxy screeched, her voice piercing any hope of calm and sending fury rippling like a raging torrent through me. 'Why now?' She shouted. I stopped, the anger turning now to pain, old memories were beginning to surface, memories I had buried deep, deep down so no one would ever see them.

'Roxy I don't… just leave it, ok?' I said, turning away from her. She grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back round to face her livid expression. As she did so, she pinched my skin quickly between her thumb and finger, whether intentional or not, it caused me to let out an exasperated breath that sounded more like a tiny cry. This seemed to anger her even more.

'You only ever hated Dad because he took your precious baby away, and then you held a grudge for years! You are cold-hearted Ronnie. Why couldn't you just learn to forgive? He probably did the right thing anyway.'

'NO!' I shouted, my voice trembling with the meaning of her words painfully cutting my heart. How could she even say that? I was angry now, and I knew soon enough I would blurt something out that I didn't want to say, something that would hurt her and that I would regret.

'Look, there's stuff, stuff you don't know about, alright?' I said, sighing and trying to remain calm. But as I did so memories were dragged up from the depths of my mind, ones I had buried there years ago, hoping for them to never resurface. And their chains I made unbreakable, it seems were breakable after all.

'V? Oh Veronica? Where are you?' His voice taunted. My breathing was fast as my heart thudded loudly against my chest.

I held my breath as I heard his footsteps become louder, he was coming close to my hiding place. I prayed he wouldn't find me, I prayed with all my heart, but my prayers were not answered. Seconds later he found me.

'Why are you hiding, V? I thought you liked our little game?'

'No.' I whispered, my voice hoarse.

'Oh but I want to play, V. Or shall I go and tell your mum what you did yesterday, to Roxanne?'

'No!' I begged. 'Don't tell her.'

With that he grabbed my wrist and pulled me up, before dragging me back to the hellish playground, his bedroom.

'What?' Roxy asked, she sounded close to crying now too. 'Oh, what now? Come on then! Come on, shock me.' She continued. I knew she would hate me if I told her, I knew it, she would never forgive me.

'If I told you, you would never forgive me.' I said, keeping my voice calm. I shook my head as I spoke, closing my eyes in an attempt to block out more painful images. I knew she wouldn't want to have the images, the thoughts I had in my head in hers.

And now she was forcing me to tell her, that which I had never told another soul, ever. The beginning, the real beginning of my hate for the cruel, evil man I called Dad. I shook my head, I didn't want to tell her, she would hate me for it, but I supposed I had nothing to lose now anyway. As the memories burned through my brain, a tear escaped from my eye and I looked down.

'He…' I sniffed, I felt physically sick just thinking about saying it. 'He raped me.' I said, my voice almost quietening to a whisper as my sentence drew to a close, revealing my darkest secret, which I never wanted another soul to know, because I was so ashamed of it.

I didn't wait to see her reaction, so I turned on my heel, my shoes making a short screeching sound against the stones, and I walked hastily off, back to the Vic. Inside celebrations were in full swing, but I was breaking. I could barely hold in the tears as the flurry of laughter and colour rushed past me. I slammed through the door, and ran up the stairs. I didn't care if anyone had seen me; they would be too drunk to remember by now.

I remembered then that my hands were still red from the paint and I went through to the bathroom, my skin heated with the memories burning, the pain and the fury. I tried hard to keep the memories away but they just kept coming back.

'Now you remember how to play our game don't you, V? You lift up your skirt and…'

I coughed as the memories made me gag. The taps were running but I didn't remember turning them on, I had been too absorbed in my memories, as they tore my sanity out and replaced it with burning fury.

I left the taps running, their steady flow the only thing there to remind me time was passing as I grabbed a towel from the rail and headed to my room. Once there I slammed the door behind me, I wanted to shut it out, all of it. Everything and everyone. I couldn't even bare to look at anyone now, I was so ashamed.

I rubbed my forehead, I was tired, a stressful day was taking its toll, but I didn't want to close my eyes, I knew when I did the memories would fully resurface, and I couldn't face it alone, but there was no one to face it with. A tear trickled slowly down my cheek, and my chin began to tremble. I didn't want to cry, I never cried about much; only about…I didn't want to think about any of it, so I collapsed onto the bed, lying across it as I curled up my arms and lay my head on them to rest. My arms were like a shield, protecting me from everything, a make-shift shield. You can't fully shield yourself, it doesn't work and you just end up getting hurt. Only one person in the entire world can shield all of you, protect you, and I knew who that was for me. I learnt to shield myself from those I love, I learnt to shut away my emotions and I lived to make Roxy happy, although when I came to Walford all that changed, because of Jack. Never before had someone broken through my defence like that, so easily!

I was planning on continuing this analysing, keeping my mind busy, when Roxy burst through the door, through my safe, peaceful haven.

'I don't believe you.' She stated. 'It isn't true, he…He was your dad, he wouldn't do something like that, he couldn't!' She continued to repeat the general gist of that for a few moments, before I became sick of her voice protesting what I knew was the truth.

'It's true. All of it.' I said, no longer shouting, I was tired of shouting, I had other things on my mind now.

'You're making it up! You killed him and now you're trying to find a reason why!'

'I'm not pretending, it happened, it's true.'

'When?' She shouted, angry at me now, but not just angry, more distraught, she wanted answers, but not the ones I was giving her. 'Before Joel?'

I nodded slowly, and then buried my head further into my arms, bracing myself for what was coming next.

'Did you ever even…tell anyone?'

I shook my head, knowing Roxy was reaching her limit; she wouldn't contain her anger much longer. And I was still telling the truth, I hadn't ever told anyone…

'I don't believe this, it's not true, none of it is!' She shouted, sounding more and more frantic.

My haven was no longer peaceful, I had to get out of here and be alone. I stood up and, ignoring Roxy, walked to the door. She wasn't about to let me get out that easily. She grabbed my arm.

'You are NOT going anywhere until I get some answers!' She said, jabbing her free hand in the direction of the room, gesturing firmly for me to stay put.

'I gave you answers, just not the ones you wanted to hear!' I shouted, finally matching her anger.

And that was it, I finally gave way to my fury, letting it cloud my thoughts and take over my body. I lashed out, breaking Roxy's hold and hitting the door. Then I swung round and pushed the contents of the dressing table onto the floor, I was absolutely seething now, all that she had said, all the she had done was making me angrier and angrier the more I thought about it. But no sooner had the anger come, it was gone, replaced by sadness. A strangled whimper escaped my lips, and I looked down at my hands, red and shaking now. I stepped backwards and fell back onto the bad, curling up again with my legs scrunched up, my head in hands. I heard Roxy slam out of the room, and a few moments later I heard her talking to someone, although I couldn't hear what she was saying or who she was saying it to.

Roxy

'Jack, Jack it's me.'

'What is it Roxy? I haven't got time right now.'

'Look I need your help it's just that, well I was outside and…'

'Roxy! I really, really don't have time for this right now, it's just that I can't…' Jack was babbling angrily, he sounded distracted.

'It's Ronnie!' Roxy said quietly.

Jack stopped dead, stopped talking, she heard him come closer to the phone, wanting to know what was wrong, the tone in Roxy's voice was clear.

'Ronnie? What's wrong? Is she ok? Where is she, Roxy, Roxy what is it?'

'Ronnie's gone a bit…look I don't know what to do with her, she won't listen to me and I know the only person she'll listen to is you, Jack. Please, you have to help her, I think… I think she needs you.'

'I'm on my way, I'll be at the Vic in two minutes, yeah?'

'Yeah, bye.'

But Jack had already ended the call in his rush to get to Ronnie, it was his silent promise that if she needed him, he would be there, always.

What seemed to Roxy liked hours later, she heard Jack run up the stairs. Turning around she saw him, out of breath, looking past her for Ronnie.

'Where is she?' He puffed, his chest moving heavily in and out as he spoke.

'Jack she's been saying all sorts of stuff! I think she killed Archie, and she can't live with it and now she's making up all this stuff and I don't think she's telling the truth.'

'What stuff?'

'She said…' Roxy began, looking away for a second before looking back at Jack. 'She said Dad raped her, before Joel and all that.'

Jack's eyes widened at this revelation, he looked away, his mouth slightly ajar, and then he looked back up as if to say: 'But this means…'

'What? What is it Jack?'

'Nothing.' He replied, straightening up. When in fact, his skin was crawling and his heart was aching with pain for his beloved Ronnie.

Before

Jack is in the hallway of Stacey's house, Bradley is upstairs packing hastily. A tense, scared atmosphere is lingering in the air. Stacey is waiting with Jack, both thinking about what the future would hold.

'So this baby is Archie's?' Jack said, thinking out loud.

'Yeah.' Stacey replied quietly.

'But, how did that…'

'Alright, don't tell Bradley I told you, but…' She stopped, her eyes watery as she said the words again, the words which were like a slap across the face, a painful memory rising to the surface, never to be shared but now to be known by another.

'I didn't want to, I mean I…'

'He raped you?' Jack cut in, his voice shocked.

Stacey looked up and nodded silently, biting her lip and tears threatened to fall. Jack was clearly angry, but she didn't want Bradley to realise what Jack knew.

'Please don't…don't tell Bradley, just be, normal you know?' She whispered. 'Please.'

Jack nodded, but turned away shaking his head. He couldn't believe what he'd heard, but little did he know this was only the beginning of a whole new understanding.

Jack shook his head and looked back at Roxy, who was still staring at him with a concerned expression.

'Are you alright? Can I get you something…Coffee?' She asked. How could I need coffee, how could it matter if I am fine, Ronnie is what matters. Can't she see that? Jack thought angrily.

'No. Where is she?' He asked bluntly, his short patience with her clear in his dysphemistic tone.

'In there.' Roxy said, gesturing to the bedroom and stepping out of the way.

Jack walked into the bedroom, where his eyes were met by a heartbreaking sight. Ronnie was still lying across the bed, her head in her arms, curled up like a little girl. It didn't seem as if she'd noticed, either that or she wasn't bothered, didn't know who it was. Roxy. Ronnie thought, sighing. She wasn't ready to face her yet.

He crept towards where her head was, crouching in front of her face. He tilted his head to look at her, see if she was awake or not. How would she react when she found out what he knew about her father? Well however that was it didn't matter right now. First he had to find out what was wrong with her. Her eyes were closed, but if he knew her, she wasn't sleeping.

Slowly, he reached out, and tenderly caressed her hair, twisting it gently through his fingers, curling the perfect golden strands. Her eyes fluttered open at the touch, wondering who on earth it was, who was making a shiver run down her spine with their touch, making her feel safe even though she didn't know who it was. She sighed as her eyes met his, she should've known. Jack.

'Jack.' She whispered her voice hoarse. He said nothing, just gazed into her teary eyes, before cupping her cheek with his warm hand. She closed her eyes at his soft touch; it made her shiver with delight. But it was also in his presence that she could not hide. Her chin trembled and she let out a sob. Jack's brow creased at this, but he didn't pry. He moved his other arm and gently pushed Ronnie up, so she was sitting, sobbing quietly. He sat beside her, before pulling her close. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his head against hers, whispering comforting words.

'Shh, shh now Ron, I'm here. Shh now.' He began caressing her hair again, slowly curling it through his fingertips. Ronnie nestled herself deeper into his comforting embrace, she knew this was the place she felt safest, the place she could never hide and the place she felt loved, wanted. But most importantly of all, with Jack's arms wrapped around her, protecting her, she felt respected.

A little while later

Finally, Ronnie stopped sobbing. She pushed out lightly, and Jack understood. He removed his arms from around her, and held her hands in her lap instead. She sat up, looking up at him for a moment, before the shame was too much to bear. She took her hands away and got up, walking to sit on the edge of the bed facing the door. She wiped her eyes and tucked her hair behind her ears, trying to find that ounce of self-esteem, anything to take away this ashamed feeling. She knew Jack would understand, but she didn't know if he knew. How much had Roxy told him?

'Jack…' She began quietly. Jack didn't go any closer, he realised she didn't want anyone touching her right now, but he turned towards her to listen.

'What, what did Roxy tell you?' She mumbled, desperate to find out.

'I know, Ronnie.' Jack replied, gently so as not to worry Ronnie. He didn't have to say anymore but Ronnie understood that he knew. She thought she would feel…violated, embarrassed, but somehow Jack knowing made her feel better, calmer.

'He did it before…?' Jack questioned.

'Before that, yes.' Ronnie replied quietly, as if with every word she said another part of her was cut open, another memory resurfaced to bite away at her.

It was true, he had done it before the days both were thinking of now, before their relationship had become so much more than love, understanding, one of the reasons that no matter what either of them said or did, they still loved each other, still needed each other. Jack had never realised that day was like history repeating itself, why it hurt so much for Ronnie, why she felt the way she did. Now that he knew, the horrors of that day were burning brighter than ever in his brain.

Back in the brief period of time Archie and Ronnie were civil, before Ronnie found out about Danielle, before the hurt and the hate resurfaced truly. Ronnie is in the Vic kitchen, no one else but Archie is in. It's late in the evening, and the Vic is closed.

Ronnie stood gazing dreamily out of the window as she washed the glasses, surveying life on the square. She watched some boys run down the street, followed by a group of giggling schoolgirls.

Ah, the care-free days. She thought to herself. The days before anything made you realise the true meaning of the word hate, before…

She was startled by a voice right behind her, she hadn't realised anyone was there.

'Hello again, V.' the voice said.

Ronnie turned her head slightly, and could see it was Archie behind her. She let out a small sigh of relief, and continued to wash the glass, more meticulously this time. Only moments later her arm was pulled away viciously, spinning her round as she dropped the glass into the sink. She barely registered the slosh of water that spilled over, onto the counter, because of the smile on Archie's face. It was a scary sort of smile, cocky almost. The smile where you know no matter how hard you try he is going to get his way. Ronnie tried to pull her arm out of his grip, and was surprised when he didn't let go.

'V, you are such a nasty, grubby little girl, aren't you?'

Ronnie had no idea how to react, what did he want? What should she say?

'Hm?' Archie continued. 'Well it's a good thing I'm here isn't it? Because luckily for you, I know how to teach girls like you a lesson. And this, V, will be a lesson you never, ever forget.'

Ronnie's mouth was slightly ajar as she came to realise the meaning of his words. Looking down she was horrified to notice Archie had nothing more than a pair of boxers and loose shirt on. She tried desperately then to pull his hand away, but Archie was too strong for her. He laughed cruelly, before pulling her out of the kitchen, through to the bedroom.

'No! No, please don't, PLEASE!' she shouted, begging him not to, she couldn't have it again, she didn't want to remember how it felt, to have his warm hands gripping her ice-cold skin, touching places he shouldn't, violating her!

'I'm sorry Dad! I'm sorry!' She screeched, panic evident in her voice.

He pushed Ronnie roughly, face-first onto the bed. She struggled hastily to pull herself up out of his way but it was no use. Moments later, despite her struggles, he had managed to free her trousers and throw them into a corner of the room. He turned her over, and Ronnie was terrified to see Archie towering over her. What was even more terrifying though, was the pair of boxer shorts he held in his right hand. Ronnie cried out, almost screaming now, but it was no use. No one would hear, if they did, they wouldn't bother, wouldn't recognise her scream.

Ronnie was powerless against Archie as he forced her to part her legs. She cried out again, but was cut short by a hand to her mouth. Archie smiled nastily at her before snapping the side of her knickers and pulling them from under her. Ronnie's face was wet now with tears, the terror in her eyes was clear, the shame of the situation dawning on her slowly, creeping like a cold mist over a meadow.

As Archie moved his hand for one second, Ronnie let out a strangled scream. Archie just laughed and replaced his hand over her mouth. No one would hear her now; the Vic was closed after all. Ronnie's brief glimmer of hope, that she had forgotten to lock one of the doors, was shattered as Archie spoke again.

'Now V, shall we do it the nice way or the…' He began.

Then a lot of things happened at the exact same time. The door swung open, although Ronnie could not see who was there. She felt ashamed, she had no dignity left now, especially not if someone saw her like this. Archie was thrown off of her to the side, and the figure revealed themselves. It was Jack. Ronnie whimpered again. Jack, seeing her like this. The shame was more than she could bear.

Jack turned his attention away from this shaking figure on the bed as his heart was torn right open, anger coursing through his body like a wildfire. He grabbed Archie again, pushing him roughly through the open door and closing it behind him after he saw Archie fall, unconscious to the floor.

He turned back to Ronnie then, who was sobbing quietly. Without a word he moved to her side, whispering to her.

'Ron, shh it's me now. Are you hurt?'

She shook her head, no lasting physical damage had occurred, but mentally it was a different story. Jack wasn't sure what to do, so he grabbed a pair of knickers from the cupboard and pressed them into Ronnie's hand. But she seemed to shaken and weak to move herself properly, so Jack took them back from her. Slightly apprehensive as to her reaction, he moved round to her legs. He gently pulled them straight, and pulled the soft fabric lightly up her legs. As his hands reached the top of her legs she flinched away, and it was almost too much for Jack to take. Ronnie looked up at him, fear and shame evident in her eyes as she continued crying.

'Jack.' She let out a strangled sob. She still felt ashamed, violated, useless, but she knew all she wanted now was to have Jack, her Jack, holding her, telling her he would protect her, then it would all be ok, for now.

Jack didn't need any more words to understand, he swept her up into his arms, cradling her as she curled her arms into her chest, snuggling deeper into his embrace. Jack moved to sit on the bed, positioning himself so he was laying down, resting against the bedstead, and Ronnie was curled tightly in his arms, lying shivering on his chest. Jack opened his legs slightly, and Ronnie allowed hers to fall in between them. She was completely surrounded by Jack, and she felt safe. She sighed as the tears stopped coming, now only her short, uneven breathing a sign she was upset. To anyone else, that was, but Jack knew inside Ronnie was hurting, hurting so badly. He just didn't quite realise the full extent of this pain, because he didn't know that for Ronnie, history was repeating itself. Ronnie was shivering now, her legs cold. Jack squeezed her gently, closing the gap between her legs and his. Then he reached out with one arm and pulled the duvet over them. Wrapped in Jack's comforting embrace, Ronnie was home, but nothing could quite take away the disgusted churning of her stomach, the painful ache of her heart, only Jack though, could sooth it.

Ronnie was still sat on the edge of the bed, whilst Jack was sitting where he had held her moments ago. Now the lingering silence between them was a chance to think. Should he tell her, tell her about her father? He didn't want to make her worse, but he knew she needed to know, or at least he thought she did.

'Ron?' He whispered quietly.

She turned her head to meet his eyes, his nervous expression worrying her. On seeing her confused look, Jack crept lightly to her side, sitting next to her. He took her hand in his, gently caressing it, soothing her.

'What?' She whispered back.

'There's something you should know. I don't want to make you feel worse, I don't I promise, but you need to know.'

At his mysterious words Ronnie's stomach knotted itself even tighter, and she looked up at him, fear in her eyes. Jack continued, trying desperately to find the least damaging way to tell her.

'It wasn't…Archie didn't…You…' Jack sighed and met Ronnie's eyes.

You weren't the only one Ronnie.' He whispered, his voice trailing off as he watched her expression. Her eyes widened in shock, and her mouth opened slightly as she stared at him, questioning him. She shook her head lightly, wondering what he meant. Had Archie done it before? To other girls? Was it someone she knew?

'Wait…' Ronnie said slowly, her voice quiet. She looked away, removing her hand from his. She shivered, not from the cold, but from the horrendous images she was seeing. She shook her head again, she couldn't take it in, any of it. She opened her mouth wider as if to say something, but then closed it. She couldn't even think, she just…nothing. Her stomach flipped at the thoughts and for a moment she felt physically sick, before a strange numbness descended on her. She slowly raised a hand to her forehead, rubbing it rhythmically, trying to restart her brain, make sense of everything. But try as she might she couldn't. She looked at Jack, who returned her gaze with a look of pity, she could see he regretted telling her, that he was sorry. She tried to speak, tell him she didn't mind, she did need to know, but it was no use. Jack gradually reached towards her hand, his feeling incomplete now without hers, but she flinched away. Jack frowned, he needed her! He needed to hold her close and tell her he was sorry, he didn't want to hurt her again, he really didn't. She slowly shook her head, and Jack could almost see the information sinking in, tearing her heart out and ripping it to pieces with its fury.

'Wait, wait.' Ronnie said again. 'Just let me…'

Jack understood, she needed time to think. He got up, and then turned to stand in front of her. Slowly he bent down to her level, and met her eyes. He saw she wasn't really looking, she was too absorbed in her thoughts at that moment, so he reached forward and kissed her lightly on the cheek, relieved when she didn't flinch this time, and turned to walk to the door. He twisted the door handle and stepped out, pulling the door closed behind him. Before this, he snuck a quick glance at Ronnie, who was still staring aimlessly in front of her. He sighed and turned to find Roxy leaning against the kitchen doorway, anxiously biting her nails.

'Is it bad? She was lying, wasn't she?' Roxy began.

Jack simply shook his head, Roxy was doubting Ronnie? She had no idea.

'But Jack it can't be true, it isn't Jack, it isn't!'

'It is Roxy, and it wasn't a one-off either.'

Roxy's face dropped, and she opened her mouth wide with disbelief. She couldn't quite take it in either. She sighed angrily, no wonder Ronnie had hated Dad so much all these years. Why hadn't she said anything before?

'Well why didn't she tell me?' Roxy said crossly, upset that her sister hadn't trusted her with this information.

'Why do you think, Roxy? You would never have believed her! And think how ashamed she must of felt, how violated! Are you really that insensitive?' Jack said, matching Roxy's angry tone. How could she do this to Ronnie, his Ronnie!

'Jack I'm sorry, I just…it's not right. None of this is, I just don't understand!' Roxy's voice broke and she began to sob dramatically. Although Jack was concerned about getting back to Ronnie, he needed Roxy to understand Ronnie, understand it all first. He stepped forward and pulled Roxy lightly with him into the kitchen, sitting her down in one of the chairs. He rubbed her arm slowly, soothing her.

'Roxy, look, you have to understand. Ronnie won't want to talk to you about this, she'll shut herself off, you know how she does? Don't mention Archie, ok? I'll help her through this, I will, but you have to understand her. Don't ask her about it, don't talk about it, you got me? She's your sister and she needs to be strong and carry on. You have no idea what she went through, but know you understand how he ruined her life, you have to be strong for her. Alright?'

Roxy nodded slowly as she had been doing throughout Jack's mini speech.

'Good.'

He sat there for a moment longer as he contemplated what to do next, when he heard noises coming from where Ronnie was. He shot up quickly and almost ran to the bedroom, he stopped himself bursting through the door and opened it slowly, stepping through and closing it behind him. Ronnie was crying almost hysterically now, pulling in frustration at the bedcovers and letting out furious screams every now and then. She hadn't really moved from where she had been sat, only now she was fully on the bed, her legs out to her side as she her sobs shook her beautiful body. Jack couldn't help himself, he just couldn't.

He ran to her as fast as his legs would carry him, and when he reached her he pulled her swiftly into his arms. Ronnie just cried now. Cried for everything that had happened, cried for the hurt she had caused Jack, cried for everything her father had made her do, made her feel. Jack just held her, almost crying himself at the pain he could see Ronnie was in. He lifted her up off the bed slightly, before sitting the two of them back down on the bed, with Ronnie curled into his embrace, sitting on his lap. They were both so worn out from their rush of emotions that Jack leant back slowly, until he was lying on the bed, and Ronnie was next to him, facing him. She still sobbed quietly, but not with as much force as before. Jack held her as she snuggled further into his arms, she needed him to hold her, to make her feels safe and loved. And he did, because in that moment he was all she needed, and she was all he needed.

Later

Ronnie was still asleep, but Jack could not stop the thoughts racing through his head. He wondered how she would react when she realised the whole truth, how to console her, how to be there for her right now. But deep down he knew he just had to be there for her and protect her, that's why she needs him, she needs someone to love her and protect her and be her one. And Jack knew now, he was her one, and she was his.

Moments later, Ronnie stirred. Flexing her limbs she pushed against Jack, and he moved to give her space. Ronnie opened her eyes, and they met Jack's. For a few minutes they simply stared at each other, communicating without words. Jack slowly reached out to caress Ronnie's cheek gently, and she closed her eyes at his touch.

'Hey you.' Jack said lovingly, not knowing quite what to say.

Ronnie smiled slightly in response, opening her eyes again. Then she sat up, and Jack's hand fell to the soft duvet. She rubbed her eyes, heavy from sleep, before looking away to the door. Jack's gaze fell to the hand that Ronnie leant on, and without thinking he began tracing the patterns of the dim light on her skin. Ronnie did not flinch away this time, but turned to follow Jack's gaze. Jack looked up, and once again Ronnie smiled. This time it was Jack's favourite smile, it was the one he loved most. Her lips curved at the edges, and although Jack could see she wasn't completely happy yet, he had hope as her smile gave him a warm feeling inside. Jack too sat up then, and edged closer to Ronnie until their faces were almost touching, and they both looked down at their hands, as Jack took one of Ronnie's in his, and their fingers locked together perfectly, naturally.

'That's the father, you know, him' Jack said, and Ronnie's confused expression told him his thinking aloud made no sense to her.

'You know, Archie. I mean, I never finished telling you. You weren't the only one because…' He shook his head as he struggled to find the words. 'Because he raped, he raped Stacey Slater too.' He finished, looking at Ronnie to watch her reaction. Her eyes widened as a horrible realisation set in, and the only word she managed to choke out was:

'When?'

It hurt Jack to speak, to tell her the words that were strangling his heart, knowing how they would hurt her. But she knew now, she knew and she needed to know, didn't she? Jack questioned himself. A light touch on his arm made his eyes snap back to Ronnie, and he took in her distraught expression. Her eyes were bloodshot, each jagged line of red like a scar, piercing her pure white eye, just like her father had done to her pure soul all those years ago. Her hair fell messily around her face, strands flying in various directions. Her skin was pale, though around her eyes the paleness faded into a light red, puffy from her salty tears. Jack brought his hand up to cup her cheek, staring into her eyes as he tried to summon the courage to answer her, to be the messenger of pain. They say don't shoot the messenger, but Jack knew that when her reaction came, it would be him to take it. He couldn't risk someone who didn't know, didn't understand taking her wrath, and so he took it upon himself to hold her when the fury came, to hold each of her hands and calm the fire within. He shook his head slowly as he forced himself to say the words, and an almost raspy whisper carried the pain to Ronnie.

'It was, before, I mean, not that long ago. Something like three months, I guess.' He said.

'Three months.' She repeated, almost as if she couldn't quite believe it, or didn't want to.

Jack thought of saying something, but it was no use. What was there to say? How did you comfort someone who had not only just relived the horror of their entire life and the unbearable pain, only to find out that the pain had spread further than they could ever imagine? What could you do?

No one spoke for some time. It was a situation where you don't feel quite connected – as if your mind and body are separate. Jack was completely lost for words, he had no idea what to say or do to try and help her. Ronnie's mind went into overdrive, and she sat, lost in her thoughts while Jack held her hands like a lifeline.

A/N – So that's the first part! Was meant to be a one-shot, and I know this is way in the past now, but I thought I might as well publish anyway after I found the document! Should I continue? Reviews would be lovely! Chloe xx