Hello there!
Uh, so I came up with this story a couple of weeks ago after I went to this Open Day from this university and I didn't know what to think. I don't know if I can do that. To sort out all my shit, I decided to write it down in the form of a Klaine fic. I can honestly say that I gave all my personal problems to Blaine in this fic. I was torn between Kurt and Blaine, but I decided to go with Blaine.
Blaine has a lot of baggage in this fic (my baggage) and honestly, I don't know if I should call this a Klaine fic, because it's 98,9% Blaine POV and romance isn't the most important thing on his mind. This story is about Blaine trying to figure his shit out and with Kurt basically on the side-line.
This story is purely written for myself so that I could list all my baggage, but then I started to love this story a lot and I thought... why the hell not? I just finished writing it (like, 10 minutes ago) so it won't be yet another WIP.
I just want you to know that Blaine is based on me but then mixed with Blaine, so if you don't understand why he's doing something, he probably doesn't understand either.
Anyway, this is my Youtuber!college!Blaine with several anxieties fanfic.
November 9th 2010
[someone is adjusting the camera] Oh, woops! [the one behind the camera finally steadies it and a boy appears on screen] Hello! [small awkward wave] Uh, hi. My name is Blaine and this is my very first vlog. You might wonder why I'm doing it, but honestly [laughs] it's because I lost a bet to my friends.
They gave me a week the time to decide on a topic and to start a channel, can you believe it? [suddenly his face goes serious] But really, even though this is a joke, I promise I will take this seriously. I've- uh, I've been thinking a lot about the topic and I am here to help. [looks away]
I'm not gonna lie, my life hasn't been that easy [looks sad] I'm currently boarding at his school for my own safety. I have, uh, several problems and phobias and well… I would've given everything for help when I was younger, but I never got it.
[looks back] So that's why I'm here! I hope that my videos will help others and will inspire others to help [grins]. How? I don't know yet and I don't think this channel will be 100% self-help. I mean, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part one will be released within a couple of days. [excited]
And, well… [trails off] I just want you to know that I'll be there for you. Courage.
[mock salute] Blaine Warbler, signing off.
February 1st 2014
Four walls.
One "cube" consisting his small private bathroom and kitchen.
A wooden door.
This will be Blaine Anderson's life for the following four years.
Let's make the best of it.
Easier said than done, Blaine thinks bitterly as he finishes unpacking. He looks around. The room isn't that bad. It's not like he hasn't lived on a campus before- he went to a freaking boarding school. But still, it is scary.
The fact that he's in New York- at NYU- isn't even helping. When he looks outside and sees the city, the only thing he can think about is the amount of strangers outside. Hell, the amount of strangers in this building is already scary.
He's lucky he has his own bathroom and kitchen –although it's the question if he'll use the latter- so he doesn't need to leave the room. The fact that he is a "fall student" also helps. The so called fall students don't have lavish introduction days, like the "summer students", the ones that start in September.
He checks his room again.
If he opens the door, he'll see his cube directly on his right and therefore he has a small "hallway". Pushed in the left corner at the end of his room is his bed. His desk with his camera is hidden in the right corner, because the cube is in sight. Only if you enter the room, you'll see his desk, his couch and bookshelf. But then again, who will ever see this room since he won't have any people over.
Of course, there are also some chests and other necessaries. And decorations! A lot of decorations and posters.
He sits back on his couch and closes his eyes, trying to calm down.
You chose this, you chose this! You could've stayed in Lima or you could've gone to an apartment far away from campus, but no, you chose a dorm! You could afford a fucking apartment. Your parents are loaded and you make money of you fucking videos. WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID!? Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-
He keeps on breathing hard, so he uses one of his tricks to calm him down.
Draco and Harry are definitely married to each other in an alternate universe, Draco and Harry are definitely married to each other in an alternate universe, Draco and Harry…
He keeps continuing till he's finally calmed down enough to get up. When he does, his eyes fall on his camera. It's an expensive one. His fans –his fans- raised money to buy it for him- for him. He feels bad that he stopped using it, but his sub-consciousness told him to take it with him to college.
He picks it up and remembers the last couple of months. A couple of weeks before his graduation and after his eighteenth birthday, he stopped making videos. Not because he didn't like it, but because it felt too much. His anxiety got too much.
He posted a super long post about it on his blog (which he still uses) and he said his goodbyes.
Now looking at his camera again, he realizes how much he has helped people around him and even though he still hates himself for it, without it, he wouldn't have been in New York, the city of his dreams.
For a minute, he hesitates, but then he decides to do it.
February 1st 2014
[small wave in his own way, aka his "Blaine-wave"] Hey guys, Warble on! [laughs apologetic] So, it has been almost one year since I disappeared- in fact, I'll be nineteen this Wednesday.
You are probably wondering what I'm doing. I left, I know, but now I'm back. As you may have noticed, I'm not in my room. Well, technically I am. I just moved into my dorm and I know this is completely random, but I am back.
[smiles] I missed you. The last couple of months have been good- maybe you've followed my blog? I'm good, I am. Same fears, obviously, but I am out of Lima, which is a huge achievement. Remember when I talked about dreams once, all the way back in 2010? [laughs at memory] I was so afraid. I mean, I still am! I have to cook for myself, you guys, do you know how terrifying that is? There's fire and knives and… [shivers at the thought] But I'll manage. I'm sure of it.
Since I'm in college now, I don't know what will happen. I don't know if I can go back to the old schedule- a self-help video on Wednesday and a fandom related thing on Saturday- but I don't think I'll be leaving again.
[hand through his hair] Oh yeah, I've forgotten I look homeless. You're probably used to boarding-school me, the one who's cleanly shaved, the one without the glasses and the one with the gelled back hair. [grins] About that… [weird face] I haven't, uh, found my new places to go yet. I don't know if I will anytime soon. It's all new and, uh, there will be strangers everywhere. [really nervous] I- I don't think I can do that. Not yet!
[looks apologetic, again] Like I said; same old fears and phobias. I've been working on them, but since I'm in a new environment, I'll have to start adjusting again. Looks like I'll be living of ready meals [laughs, even though it isn't funny at all].
Anyway, that's it for today. I know it's a Saturday, but I just unpacked! Recap: I'm back and I'm sorry I left in the first place, but I'm not leaving anytime soon.
[mock salute] Blaine Warbler Anderson, signing off!
February 5th 2014
He's nineteen. He's been an adult for a year. His fans, who were very happy with his return, are spamming tumblr with gifsets about him. He used to feel self-consciousness about seeing himself on his dash on a daily basis, but he's overcome that. At least one thing has progressed in the past four years.
He looks at his smiling self from 2011. He was so young.
His friends have left countless messages too, which relieved him. After graduation, his friends went to their colleges and contact started to waver. Blaine started to wonder if they really liked him, or if they were just pretending to like him.
But he has overcome that too. On some days, the doubt lingers in the back of his mind, but not today. Now he's reading all the messages and he's actually smiling. It's his first smile in days.
He quickly shoots a video of himself thanking everyone for the birthday wishes, instead of his usual self-help Wednesday videos and goes to class.
On his way to class, he doesn't bother anyone.
During class, he doesn't bother anyone.
On his way back home, he doesn't bother anyone.
At home, he doesn't bother anyone.
He studies, he reads, he blogs. He attempts to cook (at least he tries) and he does his daily ritual. He goes to bed, he wakes up and when he goes to class later that day, he doesn't bother anyone.
March 1st 2014
He's been at the dorms for an entire month. He knows how it works by now.
For example, there is this (very bare) common room. Every floor has one. A lot of students use it to study together or to hang out. Sometimes, they throw a small party and on occasions, the students of the floor eat together.
The students of the floor are one big family, they say. Well, then Blaine is the awkward, forgotten cousin no one talks about.
Blaine doesn't mind. It's not like he wants to talk to those people, because they probably don't want to talk to him. In their eyes, he's a recluse. He never leaves his room for more than a couple of hours; when he needs to go to class or when he goes to his job.
It's okay, because by doing that, Blaine's sure he doesn't bother anyone.
March 10th 2014
When Blaine returns from class, he can hear that the students of the floor are on a roll. As he opens the door that leads to his floor (the second), he can see everyone cheering and dancing. Someone's singing.
Before Blaine slips into his room, he sees what's causing all this. Or, who.
Kurt Hummel and Mercedes Jones.
Everyone knows them. They're the most popular people on this floor. They both study something that involves music. He's not sure what, but Blaine won't ask.
As he shuts the door, he leans against it so that he can hear them sing. They're singing Madonna's Four Minutes and they sound amazing. Blaine allows himself to enjoy the music. Normally, he tries to stay away from everything the students of the floor do, but something's different when it comes to Kurt Hummel and Mercedes Jones.
For a minute, he considers going outside to get a closer look, but then he panics. People will see him then and they probably try to talk to him. He can already feel his heart beating fast.
He knows what they look like. In fact- they share the double room next to his. He sometimes can hear them sing.
There's just something about Kurt and Mercedes.
While the other students of the floor seem scary (they probably aren't, but Blaine's scared of them nonetheless), they seem almost inviting.
Suddenly he knows how he can get a glimpse of them without looking creepy. He quickly gathers his study books and puts them in his messagers back. He grabs his keys and opens his door. He was right, everyone's in full swing.
When Blaine opens his door, some students notice, but no one cares. Why would they when they have Kurt and Mercedes to look to? He closes the door, watches them for a couple more seconds and leaves. Off to the library where he works.
He doesn't notice Kurt Hummel watching him leave.
March 15th 2014
["Blaine-wave"] Hey guys, Warble on! Happy Saturday! If this Saturday isn't that happy, remember that my ask box is always open. Link's in the description.
So, for today's Saturday Show, I'd like to talk about music. This is going to sound really, really weird, but a couple of days ago, something happened at my dorm building.
Due privacy, I won't say much, but I'd like to applaud two people from my floor! You two totally rock- [someone knocks on the door]. Oh, hang on. [confused] Someone actually knocked on my door.
[new shot] So, one of the people I was just talking about actually came over to ask me if I had any salt? I- why would he do that?
Anyway, like I was saying…
TBC
So yeah, that is this... I don't have much to say.