I do not own Teen Titans or Pulp Fiction, all rights to both of them go to the original creators of the show and the film. Warning: This story contains explicit scenes and strong coarse language in most of the chapters, so be prepared for a bit of classic (sort of) Tarantino swearing.
Chapter 1: Prologue – The Diner
It's an ordinary day in a small diner just around the middle of the city, it's around when breakfast is being served and everyone is at different tables enjoying their breakfast. Meanwhile a couple are sitting in one of the booths talking
Man: Forget it, it's too risky and you know I'm done doing that shit
Girl: You know you always say that, everyday it's the same thing about how you're done with it all yet you'll forget about it in maybe a day or two
Man: But what's different about this time is I'm serious, the days of me forgetting are over and the days of me remembering have just begun
Girl: You sound like too much of a coward when you talk like this, all I can see and hear right now is you quacking like a duck
Man: Well luckily for you now that I'm quitting you won't have to hear me quack again
Girl: Yeah…sure
The waitress then comes over to them as they are talking
Waitress: Would anyone like more coffee?
Girl: That would be nice, thank you
The waitress then gives the girl more coffee and walks away allowing them to continue talking
Girl: So why are you quitting
Man: It's just not as easy as it used to be
Girl: What with all these superheroes running around
Man: Yeah but what actual heroes have time to stop crime here, they're all too busy doing jackshit and basically sitting on their asses all day waiting for a call
Girl: Well not those Teen Titans you always see, those guys are all over the place
Man: Yeah you think I don't fucking know that by now, we haven't had one successful crime in ages
Girl: And this is why you're quitting?
Man: Exactly, do you want to know how easy crime was in say…1994?
Girl: Sure
Man: I heard that once this guy walks into a bank with a phone and the man on the other side says "we have with us this nice little girl and if you don't give us all your money we're going to kill her". And before you know it the guys out of there with all the money in the fucking bank
Girl: Did they hurt the little girl?
Man: I don't know there probably wasn't a little girl in the first place, but the point is this guy robbed a whole bank with a phone. Not a rifle or any gun of sorts but a fucking phone, that's how easy crimes were but now thanks to all the fucking hero pricks everywhere you can't even grab one cent.
Girl: So what are we just going to quit forever?
Man: Maybe not, see I've been thinking about places we can steal from that the heroes will least expect
Girl: Where?
The man looks around for a second
Man: GARCON, COFFEE! This place
The waitress then comes over with the coffee and pours it into the man's mug
Waitress: You know Garcon means boy
Man: Does it now?
The waitress then walks away allowing the couple to continue talking
Girl: This place?
Man: I mean think about it, nobody really robs Reastraunts
Girl: Well sometimes they do
Man: Yeah but only the big expensive ones, no hero is expecting a small…fucking coffee shop to be robbed any time soon. They're all too busy waiting for you at liquor stores and gas stations, you can get your head blown off just by the cashier at one of those places. But with places like this on the other hand you can catch them with their pants down
Girl: Yeah, I bet you can really cut down on the hero factor in a place like this
Man: Exactly I mean people like the Manager, he won't give a fuck as he's mostly trying to get you out of the place as fast as he can and I doubt the waitresses would take a bullet for the registers. And do you think the busboys would really give a fuck that you're stealing from the owner? I mean they get paid what like $2.50 an hour? Also customers won't have any idea what's going on, one minute they're enjoying a nice omelette the next minute someone's sticking a gun in their face. And as a bonus if any heroes are in there they can't change into the outfits in public so they'll want to be in private, so if they get up to move away you can just shoot them dead.
Girl: You've really thought this through haven't you?
Man: Yes I have, see I got the idea from the liquor store we got last week remember?
Girl: Yes I do
Man: The customers kept coming in and you got the idea of taking their wallets, now that was a pretty smart move
Girl: Thank you
Man: Now with that sure the Teen tight fucks came and beat us but we got away with a lot of wallets and if you think about it there was probably more money in those wallets than in the actual cash register
Girl: So what's your point?
Man: A lot of people come to Reastraunts
Girl: …so that means a lot of wallets
Man: Bingo
The girl thinks it through and starts to like the idea
Girl: What happens if any heroes come once we're done with this place?
Man: I'm thinking we can go and hide in a cabin in the woods for a few days and come back and rob some other store
Girl: Good thinking, you know what I'm ready let's do it right now right here
Man: Okay, the same as last time remember?
The man then slams a gun on the table
Man: You do crowd control and hero watch, I'll handle employees
The couple then get up and kiss each other for a few seconds and then pull away
Girl: I love you pumpkin
Pumpkin: I love you Honey Bunny
The man then jumps up on the table pointing his gun at everyone
Pumpkin: Alright everyone be calm this is a robbery!
Everyone in the Reastraunt starts to panic about the situation
Honey Bunny: ANY OF YOU FUCKING PRICKS MOVE OR CALL ANY FUCKING HEROES AND I'LL EXECUTE EVERY MOTHERFUCKING LAST ONE OF YOU!
