Sue Sylvester leaned back in her office chair and cracked her knuckles loudly, admiring her handiwork. Before her lay a massive card house, the likes of which had never been seen. Using seven decks of cards that stretched across three desks (all stolen from unsuspecting teachers), her card house was four feet high and was held together with nothing but Elmer's glue and the sheer intensity of her will. It had taken Sue the better part of three days to construct this monstrosity, during which she had not left her office.
She turned to a small pile of hand-colored paper dolls. Each doll bore a striking likeness to a different member of the Glee club. The first doll was wearing a pink boa and white pants. Sue sneered as she placed the miniature Kurt Hummel between two cards at the bottom of her card castle. The next doll had strait brown hair and a mouth so large it covered its entire face. Sue placed her Rachel Berry doll a little further up. One doll was taped to a Barbie wheelchair: Artie Abrams. Another had black hair and the word "Konichiwa" scribbled across its forehead: Tina Cohen-Chang. Another doll, identical to Tina's had the name "Other Asian" scribbled across its forehead: Mike Chang. Three dolls in red and white cheerleading uniforms represented Quinn Fabray, Brittany Pierce and Santana Lopez. In all, there was around a dozen hand-crafted paper dolls. She continued in this vein for some time, painstakingly placing them in different compartments of her card house.
The last doll had a speech bubble containing the words, "Hola, soy una idiota". Its head was dwarfed by human hair that Sue had mercilessly snipped from the real Will Sheuster's head during a particularly dull staff meeting. She placed this doll at the top of the castle and let out a long, evil, vindictive laugh.
She turned around and punched the power button her stereo. The sounds of "Be Prepared" from the Lion King soundtrack rumbled from the concert-grade speaker towers surrounding the desks. As the music swelled, she took out a tiny box of matches. Striking one, she gently lit the hair of the Will Sheuster doll on fire. She watched as the flames engulfed the whole doll, then slowly worked their way down and out along the cards.
"Finally! Glee Club will be MINE!" she hooted wildly over the deafening music as the flames cast her face in harsh relief and the smoke spiraled.
"Be prepared!" she sang menacingly at the cindering Will Sheuster. "Be prepared."
The world went dark and the white GLEE insignia flashed, accompanied by several disembodied high-pitched voices intoning, "Glee!"
000
Lucius tightened his grip on his son's shoulder as the pair wound their way through the crowded halls of William McKinley High School. On every side, the sea of students jostled, shouted and laughed as Lucius did his utmost to avoid contact with any of them.
"Filthy muggles," Draco hissed as they sidestepped two rowdy boys in matching red and white jackets. "Must I really go here for an entire month?"
"Do not question the Dark Lord," his father snapped. "Your mission could be far worse. Do not complain."
"I'm not complaining," Draco muttered sulkily.
The school secretary peered appraisingly at Lucius' long black robes as the pair swept into the principle's office but didn't say anything. She adjusted her glasses and referred to a chart sitting on her desk. After a moment of silence she turned to Draco.
"Hello", she sniffed. "You must be Draco Malfoy. Principle Figgins will be with you momentarily. Please have a seat."
"Malfoys wait for no one," Lucius snapped imperiously as he strode towards the office door and yanked on the tarnished doorknob. Angry voices met their ears.
"I'm sorry William," a man, Draco assumed he was the principal, was saying. "But Sue is entirely correct! I simply must agree with her in this matter, because I side with her at the start of every Glee episode, even though I know how manipulative she is. You simply must adhere to her ridiculous demands, or else this show would not have a plot!"
"I cannot believe this! Sue nearly burnt the school down yesterday, and you're still siding with her? This is not the last you will hear from me, Sue!" the other man, William, shouted before storming past Lucius and Draco. Draco leapt to the side to avoid brushing shoulders with the muggle. Inside the office stood a tall, domineering woman with cropped blond hair. She made to follow William out the door and paused, looking at Lucius calculatingly.
"Get away from me, you common muggle," Lucius sneered at a woman's nose, which was where his eye line was, as she was a full three inches taller than him.
Sue's eyes crackled with animosity. "I have no idea what that means," she hissed, taking a step forward. Lucius held his ground and her gaze. "But I will find out, and if it is something bad, you will rue the day you insulted Sue Janus Penelope Theodora Sylvester the Third." And with that, she stalked from the office, red sweatpants swishing ominously.
Principle Figgins breathed a sigh of relief. He felt he did not get paid enough for this job.
"Now then," he said briskly. "I take it you are the student who wishes to enroll here? Why don't you take a seat?"