Chapter I: Burdens to Bear

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. Or the Spice Girls. You'll understand later.

The rain beats down on my skin, muting the rushing cars below me, like static coming from a radio.

I jump off the skyscraper without a second thought. As I fall I let myself relax. It's nice to let go once in awhile.

You let go far too often, young lady!

Just shut up and enjoy the moment. It's probably the only fun thing about this.

SMACK!

I'm jerked back into reality, away from my private arguments.

I've landed on the building below the scraper. My destination. I unzip my duffle bag. It only takes me seconds to assemble my sniper rifle. I constructed it myself. It's fully automatic and very deadly. Especially when I'm the one shooting it. Yakov named it after me, Black Heart. The words are painted on the side in a shimmering silver. He's always doing stupid things like that. He thinks that everything needs a name.

I peek over the side of the building. Yakov is down there; waiting for the car. I can just see his soaking platinum blond hair behind a dumpster.

I turn off Black Heart's laser that Chief had insisted I include for safety as a shining black Nissan turns into the ally. Funny, isn't it? To give someone a gun to kill people with and then worry over safety.

I close one eye and look through the scope. The driver had been bribed to bring them here. Unfortunately for the driver, I was going to retrieve that bribe. I pull on the trigger. Then I swivel the rifle to the man in the passenger seat without reacting to my actions.

BANG! BANG!

I hear the shots only after I've fired. I spin the stand to watch as Yakov takes down the two men in the back seat. I've got to give it to him; he's better with a knife than me. As the second man falls I feel uneasy. The hair on the back of my neck stiffens. Something's wrong. I turn to the entrance of the ally. A man stares at Yakov.

A civilian.

I've made a mistake! I was supposed to make sure the area was clear. We payed off this sector's gang to keep this place empty! What happened?

He pulls a pistol from his jacket. No... Yakov!

I glance at the numbers above his head. That's two seconds...one second.

I pull down on the trigger.

He crumples to the ground like a rag doll.

There are no numbers above his head now. Or a name. I didn't even see his name! I always know who I am going to kill, but now... I've crossed a line. I hear myself screaming. Comforting arms rap around me.

Yakov? No... Light.

Light holds me close. He whispers to me soothingly. I try to tell him that I'm alright, but all that comes out is a whimper.

Light, my brother. Light isn't my only brother, though. My other brother is a famous serial killer. He's in some asylum in California. I doubt I'll ever get to see him again.

But Light and the rest of his family don't know about him. All the police told them when they took me in was that I have a criminal past. They also said I had earned the police's protection and that I deserved a second chance.

I've been trying to live up to that chance.

And failing.

I'm hyperventilating. Light pulls me back down to the mattress. Than he covers me with blankets. He presses his body against mine. His breath tickles my neck. I refuse to calm down because I know if I do the dark tendrils of sleep will tug me back down. But against my will, I feel my eyes grow heavy.

Just before I slip back into my nightmares, I feel his lips brush my forehead.

Morning

I wake from my fall into a cold sweat. Light tightens his arms around me. I feel relief at the security they bring. Then I feel dread.

I wait for the sound of his voice.

"How long has this been going on? Elise, you need to tell me."

That's right. To him I'm Elise Yagami. That's not my real name though. That's not the name that floats above my head when I look in the mirror. My true name is Black Heart Birthday. There's only one person who could know that, and he hasn't seen me in a decade.

"Just last night," I answer him smoothly. I'm a very good actor, but Light's a genius.

"Fine." I can tell from the tone of his voice that he doesn't believe me

Great! Just what I need: my only friend doesn't trust me anymore. Well ya know what, Light, go screw yourself. This is my problem.

You know, he'd probably have the best chance of anyone to understand you.

Shut up! I don't need him to understand. And I don't want him to worry.

Your past is going to catch up with you eventually.

It won't if I protect it.

I grab some clothes from the dresser and walk to the door. Before I head to the bathroom, I turn around, meet his eyes, and say,"I'm fine, Light. You worry too much."

He doesn't answer me; he just stares into my eyes.

"What did they do to you?"

I sigh. "It doesn't matter. They're all dead, and I'm not what they turned me into anymore."

I go have a shower and scrub off last night's exhaustion. I glance in the mirror before I head out. My grey eyes glance at my rather messy dark brown hair before they settle on the name above my head. I can't see my own lifespan, but I can see anyone else's. I do know when I'm going to die. Beyond told me in exchange for his own death date. I lied to him about it.

I told him that he would die on August 22, 2002. I did it because he had twisted my arm earlier in the day. I never expected that he would believe me.

And it was due to my lie that L had won the war between them.

I could always just blame it on the arm twisting if he ever found me. He and I had always taken great delight in trying to shorten each other's lifespan.

If you don't hurry up, Light is going to have to go to school smelling like a NBA player.

Hey, it's happened before. He lived. Barely.

Soon I'm out the door and eating breakfast. Oatmeal. I feel strongly about oatmeal. Sayu tries to cheer me up, so I humor her by giggling over how cute her new favorite pop star is. He is pretty hot anyway.

Huh? I always thought that you were gay.

Nope. Are you gay?

No.

Glad we cleared that up.

I thank Mrs. Yagami for the breakfast, but she remains cool with me. We never really liked each other. I don't really know why. I get along fine with Mr. Yagami. Maybe it's because she knows that I was a criminal. Maybe it's because I never trusted her enough to tell her about my past. She also knows that I picked the Yagami household to be my new home.

Or maybe it's because I haven't dropped all of my illegal habits. I swipe a jar of grape jam from the fridge when only Sayu is looking. I give her a wink. She giggles. I deserve it anyway; that oatmeal tasted like dirt.

Then Light and I walk to school in silence. It's a slow day. I find school to be boring in general, so I mostly watch Light. We have all the same classes because we're both perfect students. Well, except for cram school. I can barely stand regular school; can you imagine if I had to do cram school? But anyway, back to Light. He just stares out the window with his eyes dark. He's been really moody lately. I make my jam last as long as I can. I lick each of my fingers, savoring each grain of sugar.

I have an argument with myself in my head about which of my voices is the better beat boxer, mimic the every move of the girl in front of me for two hours (she's an idiot), and I try to take a nap. I try. Light throws a paper wad at me when I put my feet up on his desk. Come on, Light! I know you love attention. When I start to make faces at him, he sighs. He's slightly annoyed for about thirty seconds, but then he goes back to studying the window.

I swear he's in love with a piece glass with bird poop on it. What's so great about the window anyway? It's kinda masculine for a window... Wait! I knew it. He's in love with a male. He's gay. What's in a name? Well Juliet, I'll tell you: if you spell Yagami backwards...

I giggle rather loudly. The instructor gives me the evil eye, Too bad for him I'm the master of evil eyes.

Oh man, you crack me up, kid!

I know, right? That was funny because my eyes are, you know, like, evil because they know when people are going to die...

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know that was a horrible joke?

Shut your face!

The instructor, who I'm happy to say has been shifting from foot to foot in a nervous fashion calls out: "Five minutes remaining!"

Five minutes? Of what? I glance down at my desk. There's a nice fat unit assessment on it.

We are officially screwed.

Drama queen.

I finish in two minutes.

I stretch and scratch my neck when the teach calls for time. You, Mr. I'm-wearing-too-tight-underwear, just ruined the day for the girl who sits in front of me. She failed.

We pull out our books. I go back to watching Light and his window.

No, that doesn't look like a gay window. Maybe it's a magical window? Should I make a wish?

It's worth a shot.

Glad to hear you agree.

Oh ye window of destiny! Framed there on the wall; Show me what I need to see; A gift from beyond this world shall fall!

It didn't work. Well it looks like you're a sham, Mr. Window. How can you fascinate my brother so? Your a waste of space. You'd be better off broken...

It seems to happen in slow motion; a black notebook falls from the sky.

I promptly fall out of my chair. The whole class turns to me. Am I going crazy?

"Miss Yagami, please stop distracting my class! You and I need to meet after school."

I glare up at my instructor. He's a bully and an idiot. And I want to check out that notebook after school. Plus you think that was me trying to be disruptive? I will show you one day the meaning of that word...

But that day is not today.

Overdo stuff much?

Piss off.

"I'm sorry, Mr..." I glance above his head. "Watanbe." Ha! You're just a wannabe! I imagine him singing the Spice Girls song:

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends

(Gotta get with my friends)
Make it last forever, friendship never ends
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give

Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is

I am choking on laughter. Mr. Watanbe, a spice girl. There's a sexy picture. Can you imagine him in the clothes? BWAHAHA!

No; we can't laugh now.

Shut up! Don't ruin the picture: Light is Sporty Spice, the window is Posh Spice, and Watanbe is Ginger Spice.

Okay fine, so that's funny. Is it what's important? No. We need to focus on that notebook.

Fine. I need an excuse.

"I can talk with you tomorrow, but I promised my father that I would help him with something this afternoon."

Want-to-be turns to Light. I immediately give Light my biggest puppy dog eyes. I even have tears in my eyes because of the Spice Girls incident. I blink slowly. He stares at me for a second. Come on, bro! Help me out here!

"I don't know if that's true. He does have her help him with his work from time to time, but I don't know if he asked her for today."

Screw you Light! You've been a total jerk lately. Is this payback for this morning? I know you've been struggling with the concept of true justice lately, but you've always had my back before.

Argh! He's probably going to check with Dad now.

I just lost a whole afternoon.

Good going, kid.

Thank you oh so much.

Mr. Watanbe seems surprised: "I can't understand why your father would want to involve you with the police, but fine. You can come in tomorrow."

Why Dad involves me with the police? Good question, Ginger Spice. It's probably because it's the only thing that I'm motivated by. I don't really know why it's so important to me. Maybe it's because I feel anger towards those who hurt others. When I killed, I made it as painless as possible. I would have been killed myself if I had refused. But also I didn't have a choice when the numbers would run out. I don't like people who were cruel to their victims. Maybe it's just so I can keep an eye out for my identity and my brother's actions.

Not that we have to worry for him anymore.

I behave for the rest of the day. I just sit and watch everyone's life get a little bit shorter.

When the bell rings I make a dash for courtyard. I sing "Wannabe" as I race down the steps. I hear Light sigh. He must have made the connection.

I'm a couple steps ahead of Light, but he's close on my tail. He won't get to the magic notebook first.

Then I stop short. Light bumps into me. There's a boy across the hall. I don't recognize him; he's probably a sophomore. That's not what makes me stop. I walk up to him.

"Hi," I say softly to him.

"Hey." He's obviously confused why I approached him. "Can I help you?"

"Sure. My name is Elise Yagami and I just wanted to ask you something."

Light has passed us now. He raised an eyebrow at me, probably because I don't have that many friends of the opposite sex. I don't think about the notebook. This kid is all that matters right now.

"Yagami? You mean you're one of the genius twins?"

I smile. Is that how people know us?

"Yeah; I'm the crazy one," I blush and rub my neck.

Too true, kid.

Hey, I'm trying to ease someone's passing here, okay?

"Haha! What can I do for my new favorite mad genius?"

He reminds me of Beyond. A lot. He's not as smart, but from what I've seen, his whole personality, it's so familiar.

"It's just that... Do you have a family or anyone else you love?"

He's startled by my question. "Uhh... Yeah."

"You should call them. Now. Tell them that you love them."

"I'll do it." His eyes are dead serious.

"Are you afraid of death?"

"Yes."

"Don't be. You are loved. You are smart. You will find a way."

"Why are you telling me this?" he asks his eyes wide.

"Because it clears my conscience. Goodbye, Jurou Yamamoto"

That's half of the reason. The other half is that he had two hours left to live.

I step out into the grass. There's no notebook in sight. I'll need to head over to the police station to make my story more believable. I sigh and lift my face to the sun. I can practically feel myself turning into a red lobster. I turn around and walk off the school grounds, ignoring the whispers that follow me.

Oh theses burdens I bear.

What? A bad reputation, vampire skin, weird eyes, a problem with lying, a crazy brother, being insane yourself, a criminal past, and no magic notebooks?

Pretty much.

Author's Note: Hello and thanks for reading. Seriously, thanks so much for reading! I really appreciate you taking the time to do so. I also appreciate reviews!

*Hides behind Misa*

Black Heart is one of my favorite characters that I've ever created. She's kinda hard to write, but she's still pretty cool. If you have any suggestions on anything just let me know! It's hard for me to keep an insane, but like able, but sassy, but troubled, but hilarious character balanced. But when I pull it off, I feel amazing. Let me know if you don't like an aspect of her.

Yes. This will be a Light x OC x L. Yes, she's Light's sister. She's also adopted. Hopefully that makes it better. It doesn't, does it? Well, if she ends up with him, she'll be evil anyway. Hey! Cersei would approve. I don't know how it's gonna work out, but chill! I could do a poll. I'm leaning more towards Light, but ya never know how the wind blows for crazy people right?

Peace to all ye onions!

Update: Well after a delightful reading of LABB, I discovered a plot hole. You can't see your own lifespan. Even if you don't own a Death Note. Shoot. I fixed it though. Yay! Sorry... *Slumps off to corner*