Heya, all! I hope all is well in your lives. Hope you enjoy my first KaiRay!

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade; it belongs to Aoki Takao.

Beauty, Perfection, With Every Breath

Kai's POV:

Breathing. It's a complicated function that a body performs. It's something that keeps us alive, allows our hearts to beat, causes our blood to flow. Thinking about it, breathing truly is something beautiful. How is a function that maintains life not beautiful?

But, in reality, breathing is something one typically takes for granted. Does anyone ever think about it? Usually not. And nobody, not most beings anyway, think about it the way I am now.

I'm just sitting here, in my bed, watching you breathe. Such beauty…. You lay on your side, back to me, my shadow caused by the Moon's light covering you partially, covers draped around you loosely…and your torso, your body, moving slowly up and down with your breaths.

Who knew that something like this could be so gorgeous? I've seen the sun setting, fireflies flashing their lights, the full Moon surrounded by stars, small children playing together…I've seen many things considered beautiful. But never have I seen such a magnificent sight as your body moving with your breaths.

I sigh, a slow, heavy sigh. Somehow, I manage to tear my gaze from your perfect form, and I look out the glass door leading to the balcony. Outside, the snow is dancing, drifting down to the world, a picturesque gift from the heavens. The white, glittering, ice-like fragments are a sight to behold. And yet, all I can see is you.

I strongly dislike the fact that I like you as more than a friend. At the Abbey, when I was smaller, I was trained to block out emotions, be rid of all care for others, for the fact that it's a weakness, a disadvantage. Without much contemplation, one can see that this makes sense. For if you care about someone, they can exploit you, betray you, abandon you when you need them; they can be used as a tool for the enemy, a hostage, someone you need to sacrifice for and perhaps lose something necessary. And this can all be a problem, for obvious reasons.

These lessons stuck with me, even after I suppressed all memory of the Abbey, and now I can recall some times when I was forced to believe such. Yet, I have allowed myself to have friends. It's not so bad, really. If I must sacrifice something essential for them…I suppose I will.

But this is more than friendship. Much more.

I see you and my skin tingles. You look into my eyes and my heart melts. Your chest shifts with your breath and I am dumbstruck with awe.

I scowl at the world outside the door, watching my expression change in my reflection absently.

Must you be so beautiful, Ray?

Behind me, a soft purr of contentment rumbles in your throat. I turn my head to gape at you, viewing you roll subconsciously onto your back, a smile gracing your lips as you dream.

A thought that I so despise but do not regret flutters through my mind: Are you dreaming about me?

I cannot help the smile that tugs up the corners of my lips. Quickly, it is replaced with a frown.

You could never want me.

You, Ray, are a creature of utmost beauty. You stand tall, confident, clad in your refined Chinese clothing that limply hangs around your slender frame, your chest rising and falling rhythmically with each breath. You smile, severaldifferent smiles, depending on the situation: sarcastically; beamingly; catlike. Your raven-colored hair dangles down your spine, wrapped in contrasting white. But the one of the most beautiful things about you is your eyes. They are the impressive shade of the sky during a sunset…gold.

And your personality…. Kindhearted, but tough; strong, but gentle; majestic, but masculine; calm, but a warrior. You're graceful, respectful, a tiger…a cat, in many aspects. It's amazing, really, all of that combined to create one beautiful individual.

But me…I'm not like that. I am strong, a high-class soldier, a fearless fighter. A phoenix, risen from the ashes of defeat and loneliness, burning with the passionate flames needed to fight, to win, and to possess the knowledge that my friends are by my side. But anything more? No. I am what I seem to be: coldhearted, despite the flames; tough; a loner. Is this a mask? No. It's who I am.

I keep watching you sleep, watching you breathe.

Beautiful…that's what you are. And as much as I dislike it, I do love you, Ray Kon. It's fate, destiny…I must accept it, for I cannot change it.

But then again, do I want to change it? This feeling, however despised, is…pleasant, ethereal. Something I've never experienced, never knew existed. It's almost overwhelming…this strong desire to know you, to hold you, to…kiss you.

Disgusting, isn't it? That I, Kai Hiwatari, would sink so low, become so pathetic, weakened by my willingness to accept friendship and their willingness to give it…that I would actually want to kiss you. Want you to kiss me back.

Sighing again, for the umpteenth time tonight, I lay down, hoping for sleep to come. It seems to be slipping through my fingers, no matter how hard I try to catch it.

And I must admit, staring at a ceiling painted with shadows is nothing in comparison to watching you sleep.

My gaze somehow winds up on you...again. Smiling, breathing, being, dreaming...

I strive for perfection, Ray. But I realize that perfection is, perhaps, something not meant to be obtained by mere humans. But now, I wish to strive for a different perfection. One that is, possibly, something I will be able to gain.

But then again, who am I trying to fool?

The perfection known as you, Ray Kon, is not something meant to be captured and spoiled by the likes of me.

End

Short, short, I know. Please review!

have a nice day

CyborgRockStar