Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize…
A/N: Hey, guys! It's like more of a warning than an actual note. I totally blame this fic on my friends and their insane ideas about what would I do if I went into labor on one of my busy days. So please, don't take it seriously, not even a little bit!
This is a flash-forward kind of side story to my other fic, Losing you is never an option. Also it contains major craziness, a tiny bit ooc characters, established McKono and pregnancy.
I like to dedicate this story to the lovely Tiana-P who is like my personal cheerleader and she keeps me sane while I'm having a pity party over myself. Thank you, bb!
Tell me what you think!
Thinking back she doesn't know why she was even surprised that his kid chose that day to arrive.
Kono is more than glad that Steve is staying at home with her because nowadays she can't even manage to get out of the bed without his help. Like right now and she feels ridiculous, like a clumsy turtle on its back and the smug bastard laughs at her all the way.
They are in the bathroom doing their daily routine like a well-oiled machine; he is in the shower while she is brushing her teeth looking in the mirror when she notices something.
"I think my nose got bigger." She says with a hint of panic in her voice. "I read somewhere that could happen during pregnancy."
"What? Like Pinocchio?" He asks, opening the shower curtain and wrapping a towel around his hips.
She tries to throw him a glare, she really tries, but he is half-naked and it's too distracting, so she just ogles his abs instead and she gets a little dizzy by the realization that she is still unabashedly in love with him. She catches him looking at her and she can tell from the heat of his gaze and his little half-smile that he feels quite the same way.
Danny, the worst strategist she'd ever known, chooses that moment to march into their home; uninvited and without knocking as usual.
"Hey there, baby-seal." He bends over and talks directly to her belly without greeting her or Steve. "How are you today?"
"Well, hello to you too, Danny." Kono drawls and walks out of the bathroom with Danny trailing behind her. "Want some coffee?"
"You have coffee?" Danny's eyes go wide and his voice hits a high note on the last syllable. "Why do you have coffee? Please tell me you haven't been drinking it. It's bad for the baby."
Kono's grip tightens on the handle and she fights down the urge to slosh the whole pot all over his pristine, freshly pressed shirt.
"I live here too, you know." Steve walks into the kitchen and nudges Danny with his shoulder. "The coffee is for me. And don't call my kid a seal."
"Oh, I'm sorry if my term of endearment offends you." Danny crosses his arms over his chest, clearly annoyed. "I didn't hear you complaining when Kamekona called him a shrimp."
"What are you doing?" Steve's attention shifts to Kono who looks like she's doing some weird work out routine.
"I try to take a look at my feet." She offers offhandedly. "I heard that not just the nose getting bigger few hours before going into labor but the feet too. If you have straight hair it goes curly and things like that."
Steve can't help the grin that breaks out on his face. He takes a step closer and gently taps her swollen belly with his fingertips.
"Hey, buddy." He murmurs in a low affectionate voice. "Don't you want to get of there? Before your mom turns into a crazy witch with big nose and huge feet?"
"You are so not funny." She grumbles, showing him away.
"Really? You just called the mother of your unborn child a crazy witch?" Danny flails his hands around. "And I am the one who is insulting? I tell you my friend, both of you are completely insane. Don't worry little-seal, I'm gonna save you from these two lunatics as soon as you decide to finally come out."
"What are you doing here anyway?" Kono changes the subject before she murders one of them. Or both. "I thought it's your day off."
"Oh, yes." Danny turns serious. "Since the Governor couldn't reach Steve he called me. The HPD had to bring a two time murderer to court but a biker attacked them on the way. There was some shooting, two cops are dead, and the rest is injured. It looks like a professional work. One of the cops recognized the attacker, a female prison guard. Chin and Lori are already on their way."
Steve is already dressed and ready to go by the time Danny is finished with his talking. He drops a quick kiss on Kono's lips and presses his palm gently against her belly for a second.
"Can I call you after I gave birth?" She drawls.
"Just call me when it starts, I'll be there, no matter what." He says then they are out of the house.
Kono wanders around, not finding her place but she gets tired soon so she lies back on the couch, the only piece of furniture from where she still can get up without any help. She closes her eyes; smoothes her hand down on her bump and can't help the bittersweet nostalgia that sweeps over her.
.
Steve is half sitting, half laying on his hospital bed covered in bruises and bandages but in Kono's head just one thing is on repeat. 'He's alive! He's alive!'
"Hey." He touches her arm. "Are you okay?"
"Me?" She chokes on the word because there's still a fucking lump in her throat. "You are the one in a hospital bed."
"You've got me scared when I didn't see you in the chopper."
"Danny didn't let me come with them." She lets out a small smile. "I had to stay on the safer side."
"Why?" His face gets serious. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." She reassures him. "I have to tell you something but I don't think it's the best place for that."
"Kono." It's ridiculous how he can express so much in one word. "Tell me."
"I talked to dr. Matthews and found out why he harassed me all this time. He just wanted to let me know that everything is absolutely fine with the baby and the accident didn't have any affect on him."
"Baby?" Steve eyes go comically wide, his mouth hanging open. Not a pretty sight.
"I'm pregnant." Her voice is barely above a whisper.
Steve stares at her for a long minute before pulling her towards him and crashing their mouths together. She melts into the kiss, all the tension leaving her body immediately.
"Really?" He says in wonder. "How?"
"Well, you know, boy meets girl…"
"Kono." He glares at her. "I think I was tortured enough for a lifetime."
She doesn't find him funny. Not even a little bit so she glares back at him before she starts to explain.
"You didn't believe me when I said that I put on some weight. And all my crazy things? The dizziness, the sleepiness, my crappy attitude? They were the side-effects of the hormones."
"Did you say, him?" Steve starts to blink again. Good. He's coming around.
"Yes. We are having a boy."
"I'm not an expert but it's not too early for that?" He looks really confused by now.
"Yeah, about that." She squirms around a little. "I'm sorry to tell you that we missed half of the pregnancy. I'm about nineteen weeks along."
"What?"
"We are going to have a baby in four months."
"This is crazy."
"You think?" She mocks. "Let me tell you what's crazy. Feeling your baby move for the first time a moment later when you've been told that your fiancé went missing somewhere in North fucking Korea without any trace. That's what I call crazy, brah."
"Hey, calm down." He pulls her closer, presses his face against her neck, inhaling her scent and murmuring her name in a tone she'd never heard before, again and again.
She feels the tears, strictly from relief and happiness, sliding down her cheek. He's fine. The baby is fine. They are fine. Perfect.
A little while later when she's carefully snuggled up against his less bruised side and his hand is splayed over her stomach in a very protective manner, she turns her face towards him.
"Oh, I forgot to tell you. Guess what? Sid's pregnant too."
.
The ringing of her phone pulls her out of her daydreaming and she scoffs when she sees the name on the display. Sid is like the upgraded version of the devil.
"Slaughterhouse." Kono drawls into the speaker.
"Hey, Kono. You can still fit yourself behind the wheel, right?" Sid pants on the other side.
"What happened? Are you all right? Where are you? Where's Holden?"
"Someone…a friend is in trouble. You have to get there. I give you the address. Call me back when you are on the way."
Kono is out of the house in record time, stuffing herself behind the wheel of Steve's pick-up and puts Sid on speaker.
"Talk!" She orders while she's speeding down the streets towards the address.
"One of the girls from the chat room rang me up earlier, she might be in some deep shit 'cause all I could hear was screaming, shouting and crying."
Kono sighs. Sid is obsessed with those chat rooms ever since she found out that she's pregnant. She spends an unhealthy amount of time talking to other mother-to-bes.
"Are you sure?"
"More or less. I'll be at her place in five minutes."
"Me too. Wait for me, no matter what." Kono says sternly.
"Cross my heart."
"What's her name?" Kono keeps talking to prevent Sid from doing something crazy.
"Bluebell."
Kono scoffs. Right, god bless the internet.
"What if she's just fighting with her husband?" She presses the issue.
"So what?" Sid snaps back. "Maybe I put on some weight but I can still manage a mean right hook."
They arrive at the same time; from the outside the house is calm, nothing suspicious but the dark blue van with open back doors on the driveway. The alarm bell rings loudly in Kono's mind.
They halt before the door, waiting for some noise to confirm Sid's concerns and when someone lets out a long, high-pitched scream from the inside, Kono nudges the door open without a second thought.
"Tell me you have a gun." Sid mutters when they see the mess in the living room.
"Fuck." Kono growls with feeling. "I left it on the nightstand."
"Peachy."
They are sneaking up the stairs and the noises get louder and louder. Definitely two women. Small relief, still, Kono feels a painful tug in her stomach. When they finally step into the bedroom they can't believe their eyes.
Two heavily pregnant woman wrestles on the bed, Kono assumes that Bluebell is the one who's crying and screaming like a banshee under the other one, who holds a knife as an added bonus. Shit.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Sid mutters lowly beside her.
"Ahem." Kono interrupts the sumo session and successfully ducks away when the unknown woman throws the knife at her like she'd suspected it.
"What the lace trimmed fuck is happening here?" Sid rages like a sophisticated truck driver.
Then the unexpected happens, the woman draws a gun under her shirt and points it at them.
"What a lovely surprise." She says in a gravely voice. "It looks like I'm going home with triplets."
"Kara, please…" Bluebell cries from the bed.
Kono just stares at the woman, Kara in shock and just doesn't get it. She looks heavily pregnant with a mammoth or a smaller whale for sure. Why does she want their children too?
"Are you nuts from the hormones too?" Sid asks casually. "Then welcome to the club, babe."
"Shut up!" Kara shouts at her. "Get on the bed next to her."
"What do you want?" Sid asks still cool as an iceberg.
"She wants to cut out my baby!" Bluebell shrieks.
Yeah, thanks for the confirmation, Kono thinks and eyes Sid cautiously. She thought up some crazy kamikaze move, she's certain about it. That's when she notices that Sid is hiding something under the long sleeve of her oversized plaid shirt. She doesn't have to wait for long to find out what it is because Sid takes a quick step towards the psycho woman and swings her hand out. Her most prized possession, the heavy belt made of two sets of motorcycle chains wraps around Kara's neck. Smooth move. Kono reaches for the gun and she's just slightly faster than the suffocating madwoman who doesn't seem like to care about the lack of air or the gun she point at her, she tries to throw herself at Kono anyway. Sid knocks her out finally with a hard blow on the back of her head.
There's a few minutes of stunned silence before Bluebell starts to weep hysterically. Kono kneels down beside Kara, lifts up her maternity shirt and swears loudly when she finds a fake baby bump. Sweet mother of god.
"I think the baby is coming." Bluebell cries.
"Yeah, mine too." If the clawing like feeling in every few minutes is any indication.
"Don't worry, the first child is a tricky little thing." Sid says helpfully. "We can get to the hospital in time."
They start to hunt down their phones but it seems like both she and Sid left theirs in the cars. Don't judge, they were in quite a hurry. Bluebell's just plainly out of her mind and she can't form coherent sentences so Kono wobbles out of the house and gets her phone. She calls Steve but he doesn't pick it up, so she tries Danny then Chin, she even rings up Lori but nobody answers. Just her fucking lucky day. She walks back towards the house when she hears the noises. Screaming and shouting. Please, not again. She quicken her steps and follows the noises in the back of the house and reaches the garage just in time to see Kara as she jumps into the van and drives away with screeching tires.
"The fucking bitch pole-axed me from behind." Sid grouses and sways on her feet a little. "I'm gonna gut her. Where are your keys?"
"Don't know. Where's yours?" Kono really wants to laugh; the whole thing is just too surreal for her liking.
"Oh, fuck it." Sid shouts and speed walks towards to road.
When Kono catches up with her, she's already 'borrowed' the first vehicle she came across and it happened to be a big ass Harley Davidson.
"Go to the hospital with Bluebell." Sid throws a wry grin at her and hops on the bike. "And for the love of God, call some back up."
"No way." Kono snaps back. She made a vow back then that she never going to let Sid do her crazy things alone again. "I'm coming with you."
"What about the baby?" Sid blinks in confusion.
"You said that it takes hours with the first one, didn't you?"
"I'm not gonna take the blame for it." Sid warns her. "I can hardly deal with one action-man."
"Get moving!" Kono sits behind her as comfortably as she can from her bump and they speeds after the van.
The chase gives her the opportunity to try to call Steve again. She holds onto Sid with one arm and presses her phone to her ear with the other. None of them are available. She feels desperate so she calls Kamekona and thank god, he picks it up after the second ring. She knows that she's ranting but she hopes that he understands the gist of what she's saying. He promises that he sends help somehow. She tries Steve again and he picks it up. What a surprise.
"Finally!" She drawls. "You are not going to believe what I'm doing at the moment. You know what, I rather not tell you. Are you busy?"
"What are you doing? Watching TV?" He must have heard the bike.
"No, I'm not. I'm chasing down a psycho fake pregnant woman on the streets, sitting behind Sid on a Harley. Care to save us with the team because I have a slight suspicion that your baby is on his way."
"You are kidding me, right?" Steve sounds amused. "I really don't have time for this. The prison guard is still on the run."
"I'm not joking…" Kono tries to say but he already hung up. "Fuck!"
Suddenly the sounds of police sirens fill the air. Sid slows the bike down and drives it to the side of the road before stopping it completely. They let the good cops to catch Kara, what they manage in no time with flying colors.
Kono lets out a breath that she thinks she held back since she sat on the bike. Sid tries to explain to the officers that they aren't the prison guard everybody is looking for.
"She's from Five-0 for god's sake." Sid shouts. "And pregnant you blind idiots. If you don't want to have a nasty little chat with Commander McGarrett later, take us to the fucking hospital right now."
Steve's name works like a charm so she finds herself in the backseat of a police car, rushing towards the hospital and hopefully some heavy pain medications.
Her phone rings and she frowns when she sees Steve name on the display.
"Yes?" She grumbles.
"Hey," he says warily. "I've just heard a horror like story."
"Oh, so you believe it when you hear it from someone else?" Her voice drips with venom.
"I'm really sorry." He groans. "I'm on my way. Meet you at the hospital."
"Fuck you." She bids goodbye.
At the hospital the first person they run into is the half-crazed looking Holden. He looks nothing like a badass Captain of the Marine Corps he proudly claims to be at the moment. He reaches for Sid and starts to shake her gently.
"Are you out of your fucking mind?" He shouts into her face. "You are batshit crazy, woman. Batshit."
Kono doesn't hear the rest of it because the nurse leads her away and she hopes that towards the good drugs. She just really wants to get over with the whole thing.
When Steve finally bursts into the right room she's just one push away from being a mother.
"It's really nice of you that you decided to join us." She hisses between her teeth.
Then the pain pushes her into a half-sitting position and Steve presses his hand against her back to hold her in place. She burrows her face into his shirt and tightens her grip on his fingers while she listens to both of their wildly hammering heart and she suddenly feels very light.
"Congratulations. It's a healthy little boy." She hears the doctor say before passing out from the exhaustion.
When she comes around a little while later, she finds Steve sitting beside her bed, cradling their little boy to his chest carefully and staring at him with so much awe and love that she feels like crying.
"Hey." She whispers.
"Hey." He grins at her. "Want to hold him?"
"Of course."
Steve places the bundle gently into her arms and she starts crying the minute her eyes fall on him. He looks perfect. He is perfect.
"I love you." Steve murmurs quietly into her ear and gives her a long kiss. "Both of you."
It doesn't take too much time for the others to find them. Danny, Chin, Sid, Holden, Lori and Kamekona gather around her bed staring silently at their son with smiles on their faces.
"I want you to meet the new member of our family." Steve says. "John Daniel McGarrett."
Danny's eyes nearly pops out of his face after the introduction. He turns towards Chin, gaping like a fish then he throws his arms around him and starts to weep noisily on his shoulder.
Chin just pats him on the back while the others burst out laughing.