A/N: OK this is my first FR fanfic and it is very strange, lol. I wrote this on the 29th of May 07 in the middle of the night listening to odd music, (Aladdin/lion king 1/2/3 soundtrack) and I was like wow! I have an idea. Of course that was the time I was half asleep having been working all day and then chillaxing online for the rest of the evening just thinking about Drizzt for some odd reason. This fanfic just goes to show that when I have had no sugar or sleep I can make the sanest of characters lose their minds. Well anyway, enough of me ranting please R&R and tell me what you think. I might do a Nightmare series with the companions of the hall and a few others if I get some nice comments.
Disclaimer: Ok I don't own any of the characters mentioned in the fan fiction, that pleasure goes to R.A.S and WotC
A Nightmare
Smothering a yawn with his right hand the Ranger pulled a lose shirt on over his head with a pair of leather breeches. His long mane of hair was left down and remained sleep tussled having just woken up and still in that daze, the one between being awake and asleep but still aware of everything going on. Moving to the door across his room he sneezed violently before slipping out of the crack he'd made when he'd been awoke by ruddy dwarves singing battle songs near enough half way though the night. Making his way casually tough the twisting halls and tunnels, he stopped and looked blankly at the scene in front of the doors of the dining hall and listened to the shouts and shrieks from inside the vast room to with a scowl marring his ebony face. What in all the realms is going on her wondered as he walked the lest few feet towards the door and peeked inside just able to duck in time as a bowl of porridge oats came flying at his face to shatter on the wall behind him.
Standing up straight he glared at the goings on in the room and for a normally cool elf he was about to show them that he was not about to be ignored seeming as no one had even noticed him stood there...yet. Clearing his throat he took a running leap onto one of the long tables and dodged the flying food, spinning plates and bowls with fluid ease as he walked the length of it "QUIET!" he roared at the top of his voice and marvelled at the silence that descended almost immediately . Looking about at the hundreds of dwarves and his four friends, he reached up and massaged the bridge of his nose and then his pounding temples before taking a deep breathe, counting to ten at the same time.
Lowering his arms he looked at the crowd and sighed before continuing is barely started triad in a much quieter voice, though he knew that it would carry around the magnificent room "Three days and still you continue this ruckus, it is highly annoying and it is about time it ended. I can here you in my chambers and it is driving me mad!" And that was coming from a Drow elf who had spent ten years alone in the Underdark Wilds while being hunted by his family and killing basilisks and mind flayers as the Hunter, more animal than anything else. A sigh slipped past his lips and a small smile tugged at them as he looked at the two who had started it all, who after seeing him enter the room had promptly tried to hide themselves under the grand table where the Companions of the Hall ate.
"Brunore, Regis, should I remind you that these goings on are not be fitting of a king and the Steward of the Halls, where it for the fact that the war is barely over I would let this be and not spoil your damned fun but for the God's sake! I want some sleep, is that two much to ask of you my friends? Because if not please let me know now while I am here and not back in my bed where I have to listen to this racket." He waited patiently while his words sunk into their mead soaked heads.
"O' coarse not elf, you go on ya way while us lot clean up, ya right 'tis a crying shame that me and the lads 'ere 'ave been muckin' about when there's work to be done and all" came the muffled reply from under the table with a drunken giggle close behind. Drizzt smiled and relaxed his stance just as Wulfgar came round from his dazed stupor on the floor with a massive yawn before tossing the black elf a devilish grin.
"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD FIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHT!"
Oh for the love of everything alive and goodly he thought as he jumped off the table and made for the door at a run not looking back least he receive his breakfast in his face. All this because of a Birthday, his infact and he was really regretting the fact that the tempting minx Cattie-Brie had wormed that secret out of him nigh on a ten-day ago. Retreating to the roaring laughter he took solace in the fact that when all the celebrations where over he would be the only one not suffering over a hangover that would last tendays. He let himself feel a smidgen full of pride as he returned the long way back to his rooms intending to summon Guen when a billow of orange smoke smelling of sulphur and sweat erupted in front of him making him yelp and fall to the fall as some rather brutal coughs and wheezes echoed in the wake of his stunned silence.
"Damned elf if you've landed us in another dimension I'll cut your heart out and give him his present still warm!"
Drizzt knew that dark voice and could almost see the man it belonged to yet he did not understand how the Calasham assassin had come to be in the Halls so close to his private bedroom. It was all too strange and it got even stranger when the other, more musical voice snapped back in a calm though ruffled tone.
"Oh do have some patience, we are here after all...we just have to find him and hand it over before he sets off the alarms and dwarves come raining down on us...i wish we could join in the fun upstairs though...oh well."
Jarlaxle and Entreri stood in the remains of the orange fog holding their cloak's over their mouths and noses and still Drizzt hadn't moved except to cover his own mouth and nose with a slender hand while he continued to watch.
"The Lady said that his rooms where on the lower tunnel directly under the dining hall, how then do you explain why we are stood in a hallway!" Artemis snapped again before taking a step back and trodding on Drizzt's other hand.
Letting out a strangled yelp the elf clutched his now pained and throbbing hand to his chest and narrowed his eyes on the two others still at a lose what to say about why both the drow mercenary and the human assassin where in the halls, and more worried for their states of mind. Both stood dressed in flamboyant clothes of bright pinks and yellows, both had wigs on and face paints. Frankly it looked like something from a horror story that Regis had told him and the others back in the dale while they sat up high on Brunore's run watching the stars.
"Yes I agree that the Lady of Silverymoon did say those words but the spell was tuned to the elf" Jarlaxle made a motion to the still seated elf and Artemis growled low in his throat, he looked like he wanted to strangle his friend with the ribbons holding the costume he was wearing together.
Finally finding his mouth still worked the Ranger jumped to his feet and pushed his way past the two idiotic clowns as if they weren't even there just as Jarlaxle's voice drifted into his confused and foggy mind "Oh Drizzt, don't be such a spoil sport...we brought cake!"
The Ranger froze as he realised that he had not eaten in the last day and that the sound of cake sounded really good to him right at that second. Turning sideways so he could see them he grinned and nodded, "Cake sounds good actually but why are you here?" dreading the answer he moved into a move defendable position.
Artemis snorted and recited something he'd been forced to learn, personally he'd rather be fed to a starving tiger than do what he'd been dragged here to do but it was Drizzt's birthday "Oh for the love of..." a slow smile lit up his face as out of no where music started playing, this of course was the safeguard that the Lady of Silverymoon had placed on the pair of mercenaries which was kind of funny really as Drizzt could honestly say that he would hold this moment in time over their heads if they ever came bugging him again.
Jarlaxle of course being who he was wasn't effected by he magic and just to save some of the deadly assassins ego played along by wrapping his left arm over the humans shoulder as they started to sing along in unison.
"Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Drizzt
Happy birthday to yooooooou
We love you Drizzt Do'Urden"
It ended with the elder drow on his knees with his arms out wide and a huge grin plastered on his dark face while the assassin started telling jokes. The music had vanished but the compulsion on the human was still there and the drowling didn't know what to do, he'd faced down giants and armies, demons and oh so many evil things but this, this was nerve shattering. The kind of thing that made you want to bolt your bedroom door and sit rocking back and forth in fear saying "I see dead people".
Swallowing hard he turned on his heel and ran off, it was too much! If they wanted him to go mad then he could see the point but this was almost like telling him to jump off a mountain. Hearing footsteps and bitching from the duo behind him, he put on a burst of speed and just as he reached, his door slid on a banana skin falling flat on his behind with a grunt.
"Knock Knock...who's there...lettuce...lettuce who...Lettuce in or I'll call the police!"
Oh gods, tandem jokes he thought as he scrambled through the gap in the doorway and kicked the door shut just as he saw a flash of pink and yellow ribbon flutter into his view of the hallway. Breathing hard he stopped still as a purr rumbled behind him and he just couldn't take it anymore. Jumping to his feet he turned and backed away from the black panther as she smiled widely and stood on her two back legs dressed in a pink fluffy dressing gown with a hair net over her ears and a tube of lipstick held in her hand, no wait, paw.
"Oh sweetie, you've come back early...just hold on a second while Zak finishes brushing my coat down will you...there's a good boy"
Drizzt's jaw went slack, this was not right, Quenhwyvar could not speak let alone hold a lipstick tube, wear clothing and wear a hair net. A pale grey hand caught his attention and his eyes roved over to the tall male Drow holding a hairbrush and hair dryer as he moved here and there combing the cats hair and complaining while he worked.
"Oh darling this is soooo last year, black is out can't you tell the new colour is grey this year"
Backing away, he tumbled onto the bed, his heart beating wildly as he shook his head...his father sounded gay. Curling up into a ball he shut his eyes tight as bright red boots replaced the brown ones he'd had on moments before and his scimitars jumped off the wall he hung his weapons belt on and hopped over to him and started to natter like a pair of old ladies on a park bench.
"Oh dear, he looks ill Twinkle" Icingdeath muttered gravely
"He looks fine to me my lovely...always does though he does look a bit pale," Twink returned
"But he's never looked so young, what are we going to do?" The other blade muttered to its companion
"Nothing we can do but make him see the real world I s'pose...give him a shake Zak." The other voice floated though his ears like honey, it sounded innocent and thick at the same time, the clatter and growl made him slit his eyes open a smidgen, just as his dad floated over and started poking him with the end of the hair brush that he'd been using on the big cat moments before...
"Do as them damn weapons say boy; I'm busy with the lady's hair"
He didn't move, he didn't want to see this 'real' world that his swords had talked about, he didn't want to see Jarlaxle or Entreri or the mess in the great hall that everyone had caused with food fights and drinking contests. No, he wanted to be left alone...
"Oh move over and I'll kiss him, that'll move him!" Quen said heavily as she put something down hard.
That scared him more, shooting up like a rabbit caught by a fox he covered his face with his arms as if warding off an attack "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" He stilled and waited...one minuet...three...all he could hear was his own heavy breathing. Lowering his arms he looked around, his weapons belt was leaning against the wall as he had left it, the cloak and pack rested next to the small writing desk littered with parchment. Everything was as he had left it the night before. A grin tugged at his lips, just a dream...just a nightmare.
The End
R&R please, tell me what you think :)