Author: mkcrl120
Disclaimer: All the characters mentioned in this story belong to Joss Whedon or Mutant Enemy or some other people. I own nothing and wrote this just to get it out of my system.
Summary: Part of my 'Missing Scenes' series. Which currently consists of the fics, 'It's Buffy', 'Thoughts Before Battle' and 'Verbal Contract'.
Setting: Season 7 - you should be able to recognise the episode.
Rating: 15 probably
November 12th, 2002 8:01pm.
Xander unlocked the door to his empty apartment, flicking the light on as he strolled into the room. Sighing, he casually tossed his hard hat onto his sofa, and placed the chinese take-away on the counter. Flopping heavily onto the sofa, he hit the remote for the television before bending over to unlace his boots.
"Ahhhh..." He said in contentment as the first of his feet was freed from it's confinement. Leaning back he used the previously metioned foot to kick off the other boot. Lifting both feet up onto the sofa he positioned himself into a comfortable position as he began to flick through the channels, finding nothing he waggled his toes trying to circulate more blood into them. Hitting another set of buttons on the remote he scrolled through the various items his TiVo had taped for him. A few minutes later, after confirming there was nothing that grasped his interest he hit the off button and plunged his living room into silence.
Slightly weary, his eyes scanned the apartment looking for something to occupy his attention, while his brain tried not to think back to times when he had another person to share his evenings with.
"Hey Bro." Came a voice from somewhere behind him.
Xander's head whipped round to the source of the noise, hand instinctively grasping his hard hat in the absence of any other weapon. And paused as he recognised the person standing before him.
"I didn't wish... there was no wishing." He muttered under his breath, trying to come up with a rational explanation for the other's presence.
"What... no hey for your best mate..?" Asked the form of Jesse as it moved into the centre of the room; Xander's eyes tracking each careful step as his entire body tensed ready for action.
"You're dead." He accused through clenched teeth.
"Of course I am." Jesse responded amiably in that same inane grin that Xander remembered. "You killed me... twice."
Xander almost choked on the accusation. "I... It wasn't... I never..."
"Okay," Jesse agreed. "Maybe only one and a half times... the first wasn't exactly your fault, was it..?"
"You were a demon." Xander answered lamely.
"Like the one you almost married or-"
"She wasn't a demon!" Xander stated angrily.
"So it's a vampire specific insult is it... like your ex room-mate by any chance..?" Jesse quickly replied. "You know when we were growing up I figured we'd end up as room-mates... man, if I'd known you still might have roomed with me after I got vamped then I probably wouldn't have tried to kill you."
Xander's mouth gaped open, unable to come up with an immediate response.
"Probably." Jesse confirmed. "Depends whether I ever got tempted by a late night snack or not..? Cos that whole chip or soul thing... not really my thing."
"Listen..." Xander tried reasoning with the creature that looked like his ex-best friend as he backed up towards the counter. "Maybe we could still be room-mates."
"Really..?" Jesse said, eyes gleaming with excitement. "Man, you won't regret this-"
He was cut off as Xander's fingers clenched around the stake hidden in his coat pocket. "Die demon!" Xander shouted as he charged and thrust the stake directly through where he expected Jesse's heart to be located.
Xander was quite shocked to find no resistance as the weapon pierced the skin. He was even more shocked to find himself off balance and falling directly through his opponent, as he hit the ground he released the stake as he brought his hands up to protect himself. "What the fuck are you..?" He asked as he quickly pulled himself off the floor.
"Awww, poor Xander." Jesse mocked. "Did you think I was a vampire..? I suppose it's a reasonable assumption - it's not like they all stay dead. First Angel and then Darla... hey, did you know she was the one that sired me..?" He finished in an inquisitive tone.
"Darla..?" Xander managed to get out. "We kinda assumed she did... what do you mean, then Darla..? She's dead." He finished confidently, "I saw it with my own eyes."
"Ohhh... true she did die." Jesse conceded. "She came back though..." He added casually, then almost as an afterthought. "None of the guys over in L.A. seemed in that much of a rush to kill her the second time."
"What..?"
"Never mind... she's dead again now..." Jesse informed him. "And as you might have noticed, I'm not exactly a vampire any more."
"What. Are. You?" Xander repeated.
"Man, I thought you'd be used to this supernatural shit by now." Jesse answered with a grin. "I'm a ghost of course... served my time in hell for being a vampire, even though I never actually got to kill anyone... but hey, I guess only the really homicidal vamps get to spend time with this Scooby Gang." Jesse paused letting an evil grin cross his features. "Eventually they freed me though, and let me tell you it takes a long time for six years to pass when you're down there... it felt like centuries... or maybe it was centuries... I wasn't paying attention to that part of the conversation. I got caught up on the fact that one of my options was that I would get to haunt you forever... none of the rest of them will ever see me."
"What..? Why..?"
"Because you failed me of course... and now I get to make you suffer for the rest of your life, a constant reminder of your failures."
"I don't need reminders." Xander gritted out.
"True... you do tend to take everything so personally..." Jesse mocked. "Daddy doesn't love me, I'm so stupid I left a vengeance demon at the altar, the girl I still secretly love fell for another vampire, boo hoo hoo."
Xander clamped down on his emotions refusing to let the things being said bother him. "Why are you being like this..?"
"Cos I spent several centuries in hell, while you got to go out with my girl."
"Your girl... who... Cordelia..?" Xander gasped as the realisation hit him. "Cordelia wasn't yo-"
"You know how I felt about her... but yet you still went there." Jesse paused. "Well, you never actually went there did you..? Fucked that up before you got the chance. You had everything I could ever dream of and you fucked it up..." Eyes flicked in the direction of a photo of Xander and Anya standing together, both holding drinks and wearing some ridiculous costumes.
Xander's eyes followed, instantly recognising the day as when they'd announced their engagement to the rest of the gang at the Magic Box.
"And it looks like you still are. You can take the man out of the Harris household, but you can't take the Harris out of the man."
"You don't know anything about that."
"What.. you mean the visions of the future. The going looks like it might get tough, and you automatically hide inside a bottle... why am I not surprised, Harris..?"
Xander's eyes immediately flicked to the other person. Now searching the face for any sort of recognition beyond the physical. "We agreed you'd never call me that... any teasing nicknames were fine... even downright insulting ones... just never that."
"Well," Jesse responded, standing firm as Xander marched up to him. "Back then, you hadn't caused me to spend a few centuries in hell, so I guess I was being more lenient with you than you deserved."
"No." Xander continued, gaining strength now. "I don't know why you're here but for the record... I don't care."
"You don't ca-"
"No. I don't." Xander responded firmly. "I have enough on my plate to deal without some ghost trying to guilt trip me into... whatever..."
"Yo-"
"You don't get to speak anymore..." Xander glared into his opponents eyes. "I don't know what you are. I don't believe you're Jesse, but you know what, even if you are... I still don't care."
"I was in he-"
"From what I've seen and heard so far, I'm not surprised... If you are Jesse, or Jesse's spirit or soul or whatever... then this isn't how I want to remember you. I remember this kid I grew up with - one of two people that made my childhood sufferable. This," Xander gestured to the being in front of him, casually waving his arms through it's torso. "I don't know what this is, but even if it is you... I don't give a shit. I'd prefer to live with my memories than deal with... look, follow me around, talk to me, whatever - just know that I'll be talking to some experts on magic, they will believe me, and we will work out how to get fucking rid of you... so in the meantime... just knock yourself out or whatever." And with that, Xander turned, headed over to his take-away meal and began unpacking the various cartons.
The being that looked like Jesse had a smirk on his face. "Impressive." It announced. "I thought you'd be the weak one."
"Whatever." Xander replied, ignoring the implied taunt as he continued to dish out his food.
"Hey, Xan." He heard the voice behind him. "Take a look at this."
With a sigh, Xander turned around. "I told you, I'm not int-" His voice cut in his throat as he stared at the vampiric version of Jesse. Although his brain knew the being facing him was incorporeal, instincts honed for survival told him otherwise and his mind began retracing that evening's steps determined to locate his now missing stake.
"Remember this man..?" Jesse asked as he thrust a stake towards his own unbeating heart. Xander dived forward in some misguided attempt to stop this suicide attempt. His hands reached the point where they would intercept the stake, but passed harmless through both stake and vampire.
"No!" Xander shouted, watching as the creature burst into a cloud of dust. Each particle of which was an insubstantial as the creature that had previuously been standing before him.
Xander dropped to his knees and he followed the dust as it floated to the carpet, his hands still unsuccessfully attempting to grasp at any remains of his friend.
As he knelt there on the ground, watching as all evidence that anything had happened disappeared before his eyes.
Clenching his fists he shut his eyes and slowly exhaled. Then he proceeded to do something he hadn't done for a long time.
"God, I know you don't hear from me often... and I don't go to church or, really believe if I'm being honest... but please, please, even if I don't really deserve anything from you... please tell me that wasn't the real Jesse."
Xander knelt alone in the silent apartment, knowing that no answer was ever going to come.
The End