Disclaimer:
This is a Gender Switch Story, and while I have an idea of how I want to end I don't have a planned pairing, but it will not be slash.
Also English is not my first language and I don't have a beta so if you see any error please leave a review or send me a PM and I'll fix it asap.
Chapter 1: Prologue
Harry was laying in the grass under the window of Number Four, it was a week into his summer break. He listened to the news coming from inside the house as the sunlight warmed his face. He was trying to find any hint of Voldemort's activities but so far nothing promising had been said by the news anchorwoman. Nothing but sports and gossip about some American celebrity video scandal, which of course aunt petunia followed with zeal.
There was the most faint 'pop' in the distance, Harry would have missed it, hadn't in that precise moment the birds and the general sounds stopped for a few seconds. Instantly he jumped in a standing position wand in hand, pointing at the direction of the sound.
Harry knew someone had just Apparated. And with Voldemort in the loose, he knew it was a matter of time before some Death Eater was sent for him, fortunately the man who walked from behind the bushed was no Death Eater.
Professor Dumbledore walked at brisk pace towards Number Four's front door, his eyes focused on it making him miss Harry. There was something grave about him that Harry couldn't place, Just before he walked into the garden Harry greeted him.
"Professor!" Harry said at the same time he pocketed his holly wand. Dumbledore expression relaxed the moment his eyes meet Harry. Which made think Harry that maybe he was expecting him to either be in danger or no be there at all.
"Harry, my boy, how are you?" The old wizard asked, and by his tone Harry knew he really wanted to ask 'how are you after what happened in the graveyard?'
Harry blew a breath he hadn't realized he was holding "I'm holding" and it was true even though he hadn't a night without a nightmare about Cedric's death, and now his scar ached all the time. Dumbledore looked at him for a moment with a piercing but gentle stare.
"It's good to hear" he smiled "You must be asking yourself why I'm here" now Harry was. Maybe Voldemort attacked the Weasleys or the Grangers trying to get back at Harry, maybe he got a hold of Sirius and killed—
"You mustn't worry Harry, while my visit is not for something we could call pleasant I assure you that all your friends are well and fine."
"Thanks Sir." Dumbledore made a dismissive hand gesture "So what is this unpleasant motive sir?" Dumbledore's eyes grew grave for a second but his jovial façade was back before Harry could be sure it had happened, he let a steady breath.
"This would be better discussed while doing something enjoyable, tell me Harry do you like train rides?" Dumbledore held out his hand for Harry to take, his eyes twinkling. "Don't worry about your uncles I'll make Fawkes deliver a letter so they don't worry" Harry snorted at that, but took Dumbledore's hand; everything went black as he felt being forced through a tight rubber tube.
O—O—O—O—O
When the pressure finally allowed Harry to breathe, he found himself with his knees and palms on ground and staring at dirty concrete. With his eyes unfocused and the world spinning around him he felt his breakfast rising back from his stomach. With will alone he pushed back.
He felt a firm hand on his shoulder and helped himself straight-up. Professor Dumbledore was standing beside him smiling.
"Wha—"
"Side along apparition" He said "Most people vomit their first time" Professor Dumbledore said while pointing his wand at his robes which were quickly transfigurated into a neat – if a bit antiquated – muggle suit. "This way" He started walking to the main street outside the alleyway they had aparated, Harry followed Dumbledore through the busy streets of London until they reached the tube station.
They soon where at a half filled carriage, Dumbledore waved his wand and all muggles suddenly felt the need to be somewhere else, they all started going into the adjacent carriages until they were alone, Dumbledore kept waving his wand and muttering a word from time to time. Harry started to wonder what the old wizard wanted to talk about but he kept silent for a few minutes after finishing charming the carriage.
"Sir?" Harry said tentatively, looking at Dumbledore eyes for some reason Harry realized that Dumbledore was actually really old, some would say ancient.
"Harry…" Dumbledore hesitated for a moment "Are you Happy?" Harry was taken aback, that was not what he was expecting to hear.
"Sir, I don't understand" Harry answered, expecting Dumbledore to explain but he remained silent
"Well I don't like living with the Dursleys if that what you mean sir" Harry said, with a harsh tone that surprised him, he realized he almost spat the last word "Sorry—"
"No" Interrupted Dumbledore "The one who must apologize is me." He bowed his head "I'm sorry" Harry felt uncomfortable for a few minutes "I Knew fully when I left you with the Dursleys that you would have a hard life" Dumbledore removed his half-moon glasses and polished them with a cloth he procured from his muggle-suit
"But I always hoped that even though you suffered so much because my own mistakes that you would fin happiness in some way" Dumbledore looked at him pleadingly and Harry resisted the urge scoff at him he closed his eyes and thought Am I Happy?
Hagrid telling him he was a wizard, sharing snacks with his first friend in the Hogwarts express, Meeting with Hermione after the troll incident, the twins and Ron coming with the Ford Anglia to Harry's rescue, Remus telling him stories of his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley smiling faces, Sirius telling him he could come to live with him. Hundreds of images passed in front of him smiling faces: Ron, Hermione, Sirius, Remus, Fred, George, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, his Dorm Mates and everyone else.
Could Harry say he was happy?
"Yes" he murmured "Yes sir, I think despite everything that is wrong, I think I can say I am a happy"
Dumbledore's face was still grave "I think I owe you an explanation, about my choices" Harry opened his mouth to ask 'why the Dursleys?' But Dumbledore raised his hand to stop Harry from interrupting"Your mother's sacrifice called an ancient power that protects you from Voldemort and anyone who may be working for him. I taped into this power and casted a powerful charm in your Aunt's house and tethered it to the Evans blood, namely your aunt's, and as long as you could call Number four your home the spell would hold, Not only does it stop Voldemort from even coming close but also any of his death eaters, but anyone who remotely could mean you any harm"
Harry nodded furrowing his brow not knowing exactly where Dumbledore was going with this "Sir couldn't you have cast that spell on someone else?" asked Harry knowing already the answer would be no
"Yes" Said Dumbledore, acid rushed to the mouth of his stomach, his hands where tight white fists and he started to tremble uncontrollably
"What?" Harry almost shouted "So— I could have lived with someone else and still be protected by my mother's sacrifice? I could have gone with the Weasleys?! Or a muggle family anyone else would have been better than them"
"My boy—"
"Don't!"
"Harry" Said Dumbledore firmly, and Harry was silent.
"Sometimes Harry we must do things that seems on the outset like the worst possible action, but when the results of not making that hard decision are as horrible as I could predict I couldn't take the chance" Dumbledore closed his eyes and adjusted his glasses
"Sir, I'm sorry but anyone would've better than the Dursleys—"
"Harry do you know the name of your grandmother?" Harry was silent for a moment,
"No, sir" Said Harry through clenched teeth, his jaw set
"Her Maiden Name was Dorea Black" Dumbledore looked at Harry over his half-moon glasses "Meaning that Narcissa Malfoy was the most likely to get the custody if I tried to put you with someone whose blood relation was closer."
"But you could have sent me with—"
"With the Black and Malfoy family names behind her, anyone else had little to no chance on wining a legal battle for your custody." He took a moment to continue speaking "do you understand why I sent you with your aunt?"
Harry considered for a moment what a life with the Malfoys could've done to him.
"Yes sir, I understand but I still don't like it"
"I'm not asking you to like it" Dumbledore took his pocket watch and looked at it and frowned slightly "I need to tell you about some rather important things, of course you know about your mother's protection" Harry gave him a nod "as you know you were hit with a killing curse which rebounded and hit Voldemort" another nod from Harry accompanied by a frown
"Voldemort should have died that night and you should have allowed to live a normal life but—"
"He came back" finished Harry somberly
"Correct. Over the past decade I have been investigating how could he have survived the killing curse without the help of a powerful protection like yours" Harry reached for his scar which was pulsating at the rhythm of his heartbeat "My conclusion is that he used one of the most foul and dark magic ever know to wizardkin"
Dumbledore stopped talking as if he was considering whenever to continue or not. But then he explained to Harry what exactly an Horcruxes was and a notion of how it was created, it needed to rip your soul with an act of murder and then store it in a physical object, as long the Horcruxes existed the wizard would not die, not only that, Dumbledore suspected Voldemort had made six Horcruxes, at the end of their talk Harry was a bit shaken, so Dumbledore conjured a small cup of tea for him
"Sir, we need to find these Horcruxes and destroy them! Only then we can get rind if him!" Harry thought he would never allow another friend of his to die in the hands of the monster, Dumbledore smiled at him and then his expression was somber again, so unlike him.
"Correct Harry, but as you can imagine knowledge of the Horcrux is limited and the only ones that know of their existence right now are you, me, Professor Snape and one Horace Slughorn and of course Voldemort himself" Harry frowned at the name he hand's never heard before
If the knowledge of the Horcruxes shaken Harry, the idea of the he being part of a prophecy made him almost pass out of shock, not only they had so go a find six random objects and destroy them but Harry needed to be the one to finish Voldemort.
Harry sat of an indefinite amount of time thinking his mind going in all directions not really accomplishing much. When he was finally able to take a hold of himself he looked at Dumbledore who was watching him in a sad almost pitying way that made Harry snap out of his trance.
"Professor why are you telling me all of this… no, why now?"
"I— I Wished to you enjoy yourself for as long as possible, Harry, but with his return last year I can no longer allow you to be in the darkness, I wished to you to take on this responsibility after you had left Hogwarts and had become an adult, alas sometimes what we desire is not what life has in store for us"
Harry nodded but knowing full that he would need to fulfill this prophecy
"That's not all sir, right?" Dumbledore smiled at him and again became sober and if possible he looked miserable
Dumbledore explained about Harry scar and his theory that Harry himself had become like an Horcrux, it took some time for Harry to calm down after that, it was not until Dumbledore explained that any dark effect Voldemort's soul may had on him was restrained by Harry's blood protection that Harry was able to think the repercussion of this revelation.
"For neither can live while the other survives..." whispered Harry and saw that Dumbledore expression became sad almost pleading for forgiveness
"So— So I need to die before—" Harry's voice broke he couldn't his destiny in the end was to die at the hand of the monster that has robbed him of his deepest desire, a family and a normal life.
"Isn't there any way so I don't have to die?"
"I'm Sorry Harry" said Dumbledore and Harry felt heavy all of sudden and his heart started beating at an alarming rate, he started to breath heavily, faster and faster but each breath didn't give him the oxygen his body needed
"But" The headmaster voice was kind but strong "there is another option" he said and his face had become grim
"Last year, a Gringotts expedition found what most muggles know as the Library of Alexandria, while it contains large amount of muggle texts it's also one of the largest and oldest magical libraries, and as you can imagine I was given a chance to do some research and spend some time in there."
"I found the Grimoire of Uruk, one of the first books with rituals and spells that we know about, in it found an ancient ritual used to destroy an enemy soul no matter their location." Dumbledore finished gravely looking at Harry with his blue eyes.
"But, then if is that easy sir why haven't you used it yet?" Dumbledore kept silent staring at Harry, he reached for his scar it was still pulsating, his scar had Voldemort's soul in it so whatever this ritual made to destroy his enemy soul would affect Harry too, and from the way Dumbledore had been acting he knew that if that spell was cast he would die.
He felt hollow, for a moment all he could feel was his heart beating in his chest. Before he could start to rationalize it he knew the answer was clear as always Dumbledore had said so he had given all the information he needed and now the choice was his. Would he sacrifice his life to destroy Voldemort?
No… he would sacrifice himself to keep his friends safe. Instead of waiting for Voldemort to hurt any of his friends he would finish him off before he could lay a finger on any of them. It was the logical decision to make; one live for hundreds.
Still Harry didn't want to die.
"We should do the ritual sir" said Harry, he was proud as his voice didn't break. Dumbledore smiled sadly at him, the train stopped and he waved his wand, suddenly Harry realized the sound had been blocked from the carriage as he started hearing the bussing muggles getting out of the train. Dumbledore extended a hand to him and Harry took, Harry could have sworn that Dumbledore whispered an 'I'm sorry' before the darkness enveloped him.
O—O—O—O—O
Severus couldn't believe it, that old coot had somehow convinced the Potter spawn to sacrifice himself to destroy the Dark Lord. His own conscience was telling him to – as ridiculous as it sounded – to try to talk some sense to Potter but his own pride didn't allow him. Potter was indeed the son of Lily even if he looked like his atrocious father.
Potter was now laying on a table like a lamb for a sacrifice, which, Severus realized the boy was. He had promised himself to protect the boy so Lily's sacrifice wouldn't be in vain, he was allowed himself to hate him for who his father was and what that meant, but he wouldn't let the boy die. Then Dumbledore revealed his suspicions about the mark the dark lord had left on Potter's forehead.
Potter was sleeping while Dumbledore, Flamel and Janus where preparing the preliminary spells, the ritual, Severus had skimmed it, was of a complexity beyond his own abilities only wizards of the caliber of these three would be capable of casting it.
The ritual also needed a potion and of course Dumbledore had asked him to make it, Severus compiled grudgingly and after three botched tries he finally made the potion which didn't have a name as it only was part of the greater ritual.
"Here" Severus said through clenched teeth, offering the headmaster a small crystal phial with a clear liquid that any untrained wizard would think was water. The old wizard smiled at Severus but his eyes didn't twinkle as they normally did.
"Renervate" he said pointing his wand at Potter, the boy took a deep breath but relaxed quickly.
"Sir?" the boy asked confused
"It's time, Harry" Potter's eyes darted around the room and then stopped at Severus' own, he was tempted to use Legilimency to know what was going through the boys head but resisted the urge. Dumbledore seemed to sense the tension between the two.
"Severus just finished the potion that would help us start the ritual Harry" The potter boy made a face as if he thought Severus would poison him.
"Why him—"
"I Trust Severus with my life" Severus had enough. Maybe what he was about to do was a bit rash but he was going to fail Lily for the second time the least he could do is make Potter know the truth.
"Allow me professor" Said Severus in his calm drawl, Severus thought of the day he meet lily when he revealed her that she was a witch. "Expecto Patronum!" Said Severus and from the tip of his wand flew a bright, ethereal silver doe it galloped around for a moment and then approached Potter sniffing his hand.
"Mum?" Potter asked and Severus narrowed his eyes
"Severus?" Said Dumbledore "After all this time?"
"Always." Responded Severus curtly, when potter touched the doe he closed his eyes for a few seconds and opened them, he looked at Severus with a different face, not his normal expression of defiance, but something Severus would never expected.
Understanding.
"You— you loved—" the boy started
"As I am no Longer needed here sir…" Severus said looking at Dumbledore in the eyes, the old man had the audacity of smiling at him and then gave him a nod
"Yes, Severus you may leave, you be done more than I would have hoped for, also make sure the order is ready." Severus nodded and turned not wanting to look into the boys eyes and left the room.
For the next day Harry Potter 'The boy who lived' will be dead.
O—O—O—O—O
The silver doe continued to pace around the room making Harry felt happier than he would be in this situation, when he had touched the Patronus he received Snape's Memories, when he meet his mother, all the time they spent together since that moment until their fifth year when Snape made his greatest mistake, he also remembered defecting from Voldemort's and all the times he saved Harry's Mother (and his father as a side effect) from death eaters during the war.
Snape had, no, Snape Loved his mother but he also was the cause of her death, as he was the one who passed the prophecy to Voldemort which made her a target. He didn't like Snape any better now but at least he understood him. At least now Harry knew Snape was on the Order's side.
"Harry" Dumbledore interrupted his musings "Are you sure you don't want to say good bye to your friends"
"Yes, seeing them now would make me change my mind sir"
I don't want to die
"Very well, Harry" Dumbledore passed Harry a crystal phial filled with what looked like water Harry took it and removed the crock, it smelled like a damp forest in a rather strong way.
I don't want to die
"…Death is but the next great adventure right?" he drank it all in one go, It tasted bittersweet but he had never drank anything that like it, Dumbledore sadly smiled at him.
I don't want to die
"I am very proud of you Harry. Nicholas, Janus Shall we?" Dumbledore stood beside Harry while an old man, older than even Dumbledore stood at his left, a middle aged man with pepper and salt hair stood at the feet of the table, they pointed their wands at Harry and started moving them in a very precise and complicated manner while they muttered something under their breaths, small ribbons of light started coming out of the three wands.
I don't want to die
The ribbons started coiling around Harry's body but they all reached to Harry scar, he heard a high pitched scream before everything turned into darkness
His last thought was I don't want to die
End Prologue.