He grimaced as he closed the door to his black Camaro. He could still feel the lipstick lingering on his mouth. He grimaced as he wiped it off with his hand. It felt weird, and nothing to what he was used to. Derek preferred the sweet and tone downed kisses. This girl was like she was gonna suck the soul out of him. Trying to keep up the charade of being straight couldn't be more frustrating. He sighed in the thought of his boyfriend. Stiles was all he could want, and maybe even more. He was sweet, caring and with him, Derek could feel a sense of belonging. Derek couldn't keep himself from smiling at the thought of him. His heart fluttered and he his stomach was suddenly filled with emotion. But he had to keep all of that on the down low. He couldn't come out with this after the reputation he had. He is a tough guy that isn't afraid of anything. He couldn't just come out in public and be, "Oh, by the way I have a boyfriend." No, that was not going to happen. He would be ridiculed everywhere. Derek Hale, a sissy. "No way." He chuckled.

Derek slid open the door to his loft to the site of a couple of boxes piled in the living room. He was confused. What was going on?

"Stiles? What's going on?" He yelled as he approached the boxes and examined them. They were filled with Stiles stuff. Which is absurd, because he had helped him unpack when he moved in. He looked up to see Stiles and Scott, who is like a brother to Stiles, coming out of the bedroom. Scott was holding a box and looked completely uncomfortable. "What is going on, you guys?" Derek asked as he put down one of Stiles' books.

"Can you go ahead and leave that at my dad's house? I'll go over in a bit," said Stiles looking over to Scott. Scott gave him this look and and Stiles just nodded covering his mouth with his hand. Derek couldn't be more confused, and it made him angry.

"Are you going to be alright, man?" Scott asked as he patted Stiles on the back. Stiles just nodded. His eyes were red as if he were crying.

"Is anyone going to tell me what is going on?" Derek said as Scott just walked past him . He turned back to Stiles. He was looking down, like if he didn't want to make eye contact with him. He heard the door close and looked over at Stiles again. "Stiles…"

"I'm leaving," Stiles interrupted looking straight at Derek, with what looked like anger. He had seen Stiles mad, but this was different. It was like he actually hated him.

"Why?" Derek could feel like if someone was squeezing his heart. This wasn't suppose to happen. It felt wrong.

"I can't live like this anymore. I accept you wanting to keep what is going between us on the down low," Derek saw a tear roll down Stiles' cheek. He hated that. "But I can't live seeing you kiss any girl that stands in front of you, man. That is just too much…"

"Stiles…." Derek started.

"No, let me finish Derek. I love you but….."

"STOP BEING SO SELFISH! LET ME FINISH! STOP AND THINK ABOUT ME. WHAT I WANT!" He had all the right to interrupt and scream. He did. Aside from feeling all this despair in his heart, he was also a bit angry.

"THAT IS ALL I DO! I MOVED HERE SO WE CAN BE TOGETHER! SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT THE WORLD COULD SAY. I AM LIVING A DOUBLE LIVE BECAUSE OF YOU. IS THAT NOT ENOUGH?" Stiles' came closer to Derek. His eyes full of furry. Derek didn't like this. He had truly never seen Stiles like this. Derek feared for what the outcome of this would be, but he had an idea. An idea he didn't want to explore as an option.

"I'm so…."

"NO YOU KNOW WHAT?" Stiles was poking him hard on the chest. "I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY THAT I AM JUST HERE WASTING MY LIVE WHEN I CAN BE OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE! SOMEONE WHO ISN'T ASHAMED OF OUR RELATIONSHIP! BUT NO! I'M HERE, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. AND IF YOU DON'T SEE THAT I… I…." Stiles hesitate and wiped his eyes and looked up at Derek. Derek's stomach flipped and he felt his heart crumble to pieces. "I guess you don't love me enough," he said in a small voice.

"Stiles I…." Derek started but Stiles' gaze made him stop. It was that of a broken man's. He hated to see Stiles like this. But this, what they had, had to remain secret.

"I will still love you, Derek," he said as he took Derek's hand and place them slightly on his chest. "My feelings will not change from morning to night. You just need time to find out your true feelings for me." Derek could hear the pain in Stiles' words.

"Stiles I…." Why can't he get more than those words out. Its not helping out in this situation. Stiles leaned in and was about to kiss him but he stopped himself.

"Once you decide what you really feel for me….." Stiles ran his hand along his own face and looked up at Derek. "We can pick up from here"

And just like that, Stiles walked out of the apartment. Derek could feel the tears rolling down his face. He looked at the door hoping to see Stiles standing there. Hoping he would have decided to stay after all. He heard the engine to Stiles' jeep starting. That's not the sound he wanted to hear. The sound of the engine faded quickly into the distance.

That's when the rage took over Derek. He kick the boxes holding Stiles' stuff out of his way. He was infuriated, he was devastated, he just couldn't keep it in. He punch the wall sobbing loudly. How could he be such a coward. How could he just let him leave like that. He should of stopped him. Derek slammed his back against the wall and slowly slid to the floor. The sound of his sobbing the only thing audible in the loft.

"Why? WHY?!" He knew what he had done. He hurt Stiles. He hurt him bad. He hurt the person he cares the most about. He doesn't deserve Stiles. Stiles deserves someone who is willing to love him no matter what. Someone who is not ashamed to be seen in public with him. Who can love him anywhere, without hesitation. Derek threw his head back and rested it against the wall. He couldn't stop crying. He should not feel like this about a guy, but he couldn't help it. Stiles had changed something in him. But maybe, this was the best. His thoughts went wild. What if it was meant to be? What if they were suppose to go their separate ways all along. He wiped his tears and looked at the door. Half of him wanted to see Stiles walk in and annoy him in his playful way as usual. The other wanted to be alone.

He felt a sharp pain in his chest. His mind immediately tuned to the image of Stiles smiling. Derek felt a smile form across his mouth. He started to walk towards Stiles. The image quickly morphed into a crying Stiles. Derek stopped and looked around him. He was in a forest. He looked down and stepped back as he noticed he was covered in blood. He looked up again and saw Stiles laying in a puddle of blood. Derek bolted up from his bed. His eyes started to flood with tears again. He thought that the pain had soothed away, but his feelings were always out of control when it came to Stiles. He made his head spin, he just couldn't concentrate when he was around. All he wants to do is kiss him, caress him, hold him. But now he left. There isn't any of that anymore. Derek fell back. He turned and faced Stiles' side of the bed. His scent climbed up his nose. He grabbed the pillow and tossed it to the wall. There was a loud crack. Derek looked up and saw his phone cracked on the floor. He fell back to his bed. He could worry about getting a new one tomorrow. He just laid there and waited to be drifted into a dream. Hopefully one without Stiles.