Hello everyone! I have been busy lately, and I have not been able to write as many fanfics as I would like to. However, I really have been wanting to do this one for a while now. It with have many chapters, but I don't know how may "many" is yet. I also don't have a set ending. (Well as of this very moment anyway.) So I'm just going with the flow. Not that I don't have a few things in mind though. ;) So this is just my little version of the start of Katniss and Peeta's family post-mockingjay. Your enjoyment of the story is one of my main motives for writing this so please review and let me know what you think and your reactions to things. Thank you!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the Hunger Games.
Prologue
I lay in bed, by myself. Peeta "wasn't mad". He never gets "mad" about this. He "just gets a little sad". So he leaves to "walk and get some air". "It's not my fault" he tells me. "He truly understands" he says. I know none of this is the truth though. Peeta does secretly get frustrated with me for my refusal. He actually leaves to shed a few tears about it. I know because I've heard him. And when I do, I start to cry as well. It's not like I'm trying to hurt him, and I loathe to see him upset. But, it is my fault. I'm the only one holding back. And I know he probably understands why to some extent, but not fully. But how could he understand it fully when I don't even know fully why myself? How bad could it be anyway? Having a family? It used to be the worst thing that could happen to you (in my mind anyway), for obvious reasons. But that threat is gone now. From the real world anyway. I know it will remain in my nightmares forever though. But I digress, why should I torture Peeta like this? It's not like he deserves it. Hell, he doesn't deserve to be in another single painful situation for the rest of his life. I guess I always knew that though. But what I didn't realize until now, is that my reluctance to give him a family, is causing him a great amount of pain.
When Peeta comes back into the room, I pretend to be asleep. I don't want him to worry about why I was awoken, as I know he would. So I steady my breathing and close my eyelids lightly. He sits down next to me on the bed and gently pushes hair behind my ear being carful not to wake me. He strokes my head for a minute and then whispers to me, knowing that I won't hear him. But pretty obviously I do.
"I'm so sorry Katniss. I'm sorry for trying to force you to do this. I know how big of a change and a commitment it would be, it's just sometimes I forget…..I love you though." He kisses my forehead. With that, he gets up and lays back down on his side of the bed. He drifts off pretty quickly.
I can't even begin to tell you how guilty he just made me feel. He has nothing to be sorry for. I know I'm just being afraid. Letting my past haunt me. And sure it would be a commitment and a change, but that would be good right? Something to help the both of us move on with our lives, and subtract from the number of occasional relapse days where I lay in bed depressed all day and Peeta has to hurt himself in order to escape a flashback. I decide that anything that helps end those days would be wonderful. And besides, I love Peeta for crying out loud, it's not like I'd ever want this with anyone else but him.
Ok, so it's settled. Tomorrow, I'll through my pills away, right along with any condoms we have. And tomorrow, I'll tell Peeta. I will tell Peeta that I want to have a baby with him.
First chapter will be up soon! Let me know if you are excited to keep reading because I'm excited to keep writing! :D Also, I know I may or may not have grammar mistakes, but unless there is a mistake that is very distracting to you, please refrain from going crazy about it in a review. The only reason I say this is because one time I had someone get really mean about it, and while I do feel it is necessary to correct someone on certain things, it is just inappropriate to be so unkind in a review. Anyway I bet all of you are awesome and nice anyway so I don't need to worry. Have a great day! P.S. I will respond back to all of your reviews to say thank you!