A few days ago I was at a party with a few friends. After a while me and my friend Naoki (also a "ringer" and he have read GB) started talking about attractiveness in middle earth and started with dwarves. And we both agreed that hairy bodies and vide shoulders was a real dwarven turn-on, that said Fili and Kili (especially Kili) were probably considered unattractive in dwarven meachures. We started making up scenarios about how Kili probably was bullied in Erebor.
That night I couldn't fall asleep 'cuz I was lying awake thinking about poor Kili and the next day (even though I had school and work and GB) I started writing this. Revising it over and over again until I was I hope you enjoy this /Kumiko
The stone floor was cold against Kilis butt even though he had thick pants on. He had crawled up into a corner with his thighs against his stomach like a scared child.
"You'll be alright" Fili said and put his arms around his younger brother. "You'll see."
Kili stared angry into his eyes, almost glaring. Easy for you to say you're not in love with a hobbit, he thought and flinched away. "I just want to be alone right now." Fili snorted and smiled "A little hard to do that in this cramped area."
Yes, they were trapped inside the dungeons in Thranduils castle, all dwarves except Thorin and Bilbo of course. When did his affection for him begin? All he wanted right now was to be alone and cry for a bit. The best he could do was to close his eyes and think back, back to the days in Erebor.
"Look at him! He can't even grow a proper beard."
The voices of the other young dwarves echoed in his mind and their ringing laughter still stung in his chest.
In the dwarven culture facial hair and body hair was considered something beautiful and even some women had beards and thick chest hair under their bright coloured dressed, they were extra beautiful and had male dwarves propose to them almost daily. Kili on the other hand had not been blessed with any of that. His hair was long but he could only manage to grow short stubble across his face and his body was pretty much hairless; only his legs had black curly hair. When he was younger people confused him with a girl, they still did occasionally but only to be mean to him.
Some of his "friends" used to grab his butt and say "Oh, what a pretty lady." However Fili was always quick to protect his brother with any means necessary. One time someone had pushed Kili against a wall and buttoned up his pants, starting to feel between his legs. "I just want to make sure you're really a man" he had said while he stroked Kili. Fili had walked into them and almost killed the other dwarf. Their grandfather Thror had threatened to banish Fili from Erebor for his actions but Fili only wanted to protect his brother.
He had no confidence at all and never approached any women at all. He was almost always to himself. Fili, however, always switched lady like other dwarves changed underwear. He tried sometimes to pair Kili up with a lady he knew but he wasn't interested. It wasn't until that day in the Shire he understood what love really was.
None of the brothers had never heard about hobbits before they gotten the news about one joining the company and holding a dinner at his home. On their way to Hobbiton they had lively discussions about how they might look like, the one more bizarre than the other. They laughed and had a good time until they saw the mark that said in Khuzdul "Welcome travellers" and they guessed it was that house. The house was not like any dwarven house and had a big, round, green door. They knocked on the door and someone looking like a human, only shorter opened the door.
"Yes?" the creature said.
Kili froze when he saw the hobbit. Never had he seen anyone more beautiful that what stood before him. His hands got sweaty and his heart raced. Was this what they called "love at first sight"?
From that day on his mind was no longer filled with the treasures of Erebor, but of the hobbit. Like how much he wanted to hold and kiss him. One night after the chat around the fire (that night they talked about women) when he had night guard he sneaked up to Bilbo. It was only Kili awake and except from the fire, and a few birds, it was quiet. He lied next to him gently caressing his short curly hair. "You are not like anyone else." He whispered "You like me; you don't care about my looks. Whoever gets your heart is one lucky person." He paused and leaned in to kiss Bilbos soft pink lip. He looked around only to hear some snores from the others and kissed him once more, that kiss developed into many kisses on his lips, trailing kisses down his neck and collarbone. Bilbo silently moaned and Kili continued kissing him and started undoing his shirt when he suddenly realised what he was doing and he had to push himself away to not attack the hobbit in his deep sleep. He clenched his hands and let out a tear "I'm sorry, I just wish it'd be me."
He still kept close to Bilbo after that; desperately hoping that he would notice. One, who did notice, unfortunately, was Thorin. Kili could feel the eyes of his uncle piercing his soul in anger. In the beginning he tried to avoid it but the longer the trip came he could not avoid it anymore; and when they reached Mirkwood Thorin dragged him away from the group to talk to him.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Thorin asked in a loud voice holding his nephew's upper arm tight. Kili guessed he was going to get a bruise later and if Fili would ask he would blame his uncle.
"Waddya mean 'doing'?" He answered and tried to get out of Thorins grip but he only held him tighter and pulled him closer.
"You know damn well what I speak about" he hissed and finally let go of him. Kilis arm pounded and he rubbed it a few times to soothe the pain. "You are in love with our hobbit."
It was like Kilis heart stopped for a brief moment, would he tell Bilbo?
"S-so what?" he stuttered "it's not really uncommon a male dwarf falling in love with another male. It happens all the time; I did not think uncle would be so judgemental."
Thorin stared in anger at him. "It is not like that, for what I care you can fall in love with anyone of any gender. Except with the hobbit."
Kili looked at him and opened his mouth to ask why, but it was like Thorin read his mind and made a gesture to shut him up.
"For the hobbit is mine."
Kili looked at his uncle in confusion then snorted. "How can you be so sure? I get that you are in love with him also but…"
"I have already marked him." Thorin interrupted
Kilis heart hurt real bad at this point. He could not believe what he heard.
"Marked..? As in..?" He asked.
Thorin smirked. "Yes, I marked him with my hands," he gently caressed his thumb across his lower lip "and my mouth. I made him scream my name in pure pleasure."
Kilis breath became short as he imagined the scenery in front of him feeling his anger rise and clenched his hands. This could not be; even his uncle, his family, could do such a thing. He had to close his eyes in order not to cry. The only one in the world that he had ever loved, and the first one to steal his heart, had done that. With his uncle of all people.
"So for your own sake, just give up. I ought to marry this hobbit, whether or not the council of Erebor agrees or not."
"You have Tora" Kili spat in anger. "And Bilbo has someone in the Shire."
"I don't like that woman at all, and what concerns Bilbos woman; he has not once mentioned her to me." Thorin sounded very confident. And why wouldn't he be? He was the next king of Erebor, and a handsome one too. His majestic body and deep voce could drive any dwarven woman crazy. "And to think he let me do all those things to him, I can surely make him forget about her."
Something inside Kili, a fire, lightened up and he suddenly attacked his uncle; hitting him hard in his forehead. Thorin moaned in pain and grabbed his nephews arms and wrestled him onto the ground making him hit his face in the dirty ground and it all was over.
In that moment Kili cried. Large tears were streaming down his cheeks. "It's just not fair." He whispered. "Don't worry kid, you'll find your happiness soon enough." Thorin answered.
Kili walked back alone to the camp where the others had begun to set up their bedrolls and preparing their supper. He immediately walked up to Bilbo, like Thorin had told him. "My uncle wants to see you." He said and walked away, watching he hobbit walk away in the direction Thorin was.
He could hear Fili run up to him and grabbing his shoulders and faced him. "By Durin's beard, brother! What happened!?" Kili did not answer, only leaned his face against his brother's shoulder and cried again.
He looked up from his daydream and saw his brother smile in front of him and he was back into reality. He could not feel his butt anymore as he had sat down for so long. Fili gently moved some strands of hair away from Kilis face. "It does not matter how long I have to look or how far I have to travel, I will find someone that makes you really happy. Someone that loves you for who you really are, brother. A man, a woman, a dwarf or elf, heck, I'd even find you a nice orc for you if I had to." Kili giggled a bit and Fili placed a kiss on his forehead. He just wanted one person in this world, but he felt so much love from his brother. They had always been together and he knew that Fili loved him so dear. And he loved Fili. They were brothers, now and forever. "I'll build you a bridge of light for you to walk on." Fili said again as the cellar door slammed open.