Title: The Great Outdoors
Author: daytimedrama
Rating: K
Pairing: Danny/Lindsay
Content Warning: Fluff/Humor
Summary: Very Fluffy Family oneshot. No spoilers. D/L. Inspired by a similar funny scene I witnessed last night.
"Okay so we're not going to tell Daddy that Mommy forgot the sandwiches at the house, right?"
"Nope." The two little boys replied in unison. Lindsay smiled down her two sons, at 6 and 4 they were a handful, but their sparkling blue eyes, which they inherited from their father, made her completely smitten.
"Good boys. Now what would you like on your hot dogs?"
"The yellow stuff. And pickles."
"Me too, but I want mine with ketchup. And chocolate ice cream. Please."
"Mustard, relish, and ketchup it is."
"Mommy, I have to pee," Dominick stated.
"Me too," Louie added.
"Okay can you hold it for one minute, while I pay? Don't move an inch. We're playing the frozen feet game. You're feet are frozen to the sidewalk and the one that moves first will lose the extra special secret prize. "
She juggled the hotdogs, tried to accept her change, quickly glanced to her unmoving boys and was just considering placing the hotdogs on top of her protruding belly when she heard a familiar voice.
"I'm pretty sure urinating in public is a crime, so is vandalizing a police issue vehicle," Don Flack said.
"Don, I don't have time to decipher one of your jokes, what are you talking about?" She answered a little testy. She was a little stressed out. Since she had stopped working a week ago she wanted to surprise Danny on his lunch break before she got too big waddle out of the house. She missed working with him, and he had been working doubles to pick up the slack.
However, fat and flustered with her two precocious boys, she saw her plans for their family lunch begin to rapidly disappear. She was determined to get herself into the lab, with the boys and the hotdogs, make a pit stop at the soda machine and now the bathroom, before finding her husband. She watched as Don indicated his head to the right. Her eyes left his amused face and turned to her two sons, still standing from their place from the sidewalk, but peeing on the police cruiser in front of them.
"Dominick and Louis Messer! Pull up your pants right now!" She handed off the stack of hot dogs to Don, and rushed over to her sons.
…
Danny walked down the hallway and instantly recognized the voice of his youngest son. A smile broke on his face and he hurried around the corner to see his pregnant wife and two sons in front the restroom. She was kneeling in front of Louie, tucking his blue polo shirt into his pants. He walked over to them, amid the excited cries of "Daddy", and offered his hand to her as she struggled to stand up.
"Hi, Danny," she sighed.
"Hi beautiful, what a nice surprise." He said after giving her a sweet kiss on her lips. "How are my boys? Have you been good?" He said smiling to his two sons and patting her large belly.
"Yes," they replied while averting their eyes.
"Well, you need to have a little chat with them about when it is appropriate to pee outdoors and when it is not. Stop laughing it's not funny. By the way have you seen Don? He has our lunch and
your daughter is hungry." She kissed Danny on the cheek before whispering, "please talk to the boys, Dan."
"Okay. Dom, Louie, we only pee outside when we are camping. Not on sidewalks, not on the basketball court, not on Uncle Flack's car," he stopped with they started giggling hysterically. Danny looked to Lindsay to be let in on the joke. After being with Lindsay for so long they had perfected a silent communication, and he was surprised to discover that the boys had peed on Uncle Flack's car.
"But Daddy we practiced in the backyard before our camping trip with Grandpa Jack."
Danny looked at the smiling faces of his sons, and then sheepishly at his wife. He had in fact taught them to pee in the backyard before they went to Montana for a camping trip.
"Danny you better pray that the next one is a girl."
"Why? I like you pregnant. Besides we can always keep trying til we get a girl. Maybe by then we'll have our own hoodlum Messer baseball team," he winked at her hoping that it would be enough to keep him off the couch.
"I can hardly wait."
