The Darkness Within
It's been ten years since I fell to the darkness that lays within me and in that ten years I never thought that I would find myself standing outside of a church in the rain debating with myself if I should go in or not. The choice was taken from me by a throat clearing, I looked up ready to tell whoever it was to fuck off when I saw that it was an old minister from the church. He stared at me for what felt like an eternity it felt as though he was looking through my very soul or at least what was left of it. As I was turning to go he finally spoke "well my child what are you waiting for you have much to discuss tonight." I think I might have just stayed there on the step if the old man wasn't so impatient the only thought that I had as I made my way up those steps, well thoughts really was that I should have turned away while I could and a slightly darker thought that was wondering what a priest tasted like.
Entering the church wasn't all that of a problem, I was half expecting to start burning or even tingle a little. I stood just inside the door of the church just listening and surveying the room for any signs of threats or danger, I was also categorizing all possible escape routes and entry points to and from the building. What can I say once a soldier always a soldier. Still listening I followed the sound of the priests heart beat to the confessional and walked in and sat down in the one meant for me. We were quiet for awhile, just sitting in silence I found it almost peaceful, calming even. I couldn't stand it for too long though it made to many of my more unpleasant thoughts come to my mind, so I cleared my throat and starting to tap a tune that I heard a young child humming. The old man finally spoke after I was about half way through the song, " so child tell me what is it that is on your mind, tell me and clear your soul." I didn't say anything for a few minutes contemplating if I should tell him anything or not, I finally decided to fuck it and tell him everything after all if I had to I could always find out what priest taste like. " and tell me priest what if I don't have a soul what if I am the thing from nightmares?" He was quiet for a moment thinking about what I said I could hear his heart rate speeding up, I knew he finally realized that I wasn't just a lost soul needing saving no I was something else entirely. When he spoke again I could hear a slight shaking in his voice but his heart calmed. "we all have a soul child some of us just lose contact with it, no child you have one we just have to work to help you find it again."
" and how do we go about that father?" " you are going to tell me your story, you are going to tell me all of the pain, anger, hate, and love you felt. You are going to share with me about your fall into darkness."
"are you sure you want to hear that story father for it isn't very pretty, it's a story of evil and death. Not something for the fair of heart."
He chuckled and opened the screen between us and said " child I may be an old man but I am by no means fair of heart." I sat for a while trying to think of where to begin it must have been obvious of what I was trying to decide because after a few minutes of silence the priest broke it by saying " I believe that it always helps to begin a story at the beginning child."
I couldn't help but give a bitter chuckle to that but I soon found myself doing just
beginning at the start of the cluster fuck of a story that I call my life.
"It was dark that is the first thought that came to my mind as I looked up into to the sky from where I laid on the ground. My second thought was that it was wet, not with rain as many would think. no this was the kind of wetness that I got paid to make sure no one ever had to witness to after all we wouldn't want the good people of America to see just how fucked up the world is. No this ground that I am laying on was wet with the blood of both man and woman, soldiers from both sides killed before their time. though if you really think about it what person who dies in a war dies at the right time. I guess I should introduce myself I am Sergeant Cara Killeen Swan and this is the day that I died. It is also the day that I learned that the world isn't so black and white, that since long before people actually started to give a fuck about what the date is we have been hunted by a predator that we only imagined to be real, that when we were Young had our fathers look under the bed for. It was the day that I learned vampires and just about every other fucken supernatural thing was real. I learned this because this is the day that I became one so that I could fight in some crazy bitches army. At the time I couldn't care less she had information that I needed so I followed and I fought and later lead every battle to victory, I followed her orders and I killed off the ones that out grew their use or annoyed me too much. I allowed myself to become the monster that parents taught their kids to fear, and they should they all should because I stopped caring. That show the vampire diaries got it right you know we vampires can turn it off, our emotions I mean after all that is what I did and look at me now. I am on top of the world, everything is great, I'm great unbeatable I guess you can say fanfuckentastic."