You slam the door behind you and throw yourself face down onto the bed. Why is it, that everyone you feel close to pushes you away? Why is it that you need others but no one ever needs you? Why is it that you can love with all your soul and yet you have never known the feeling of being loved back? Normally, you can control your emotions. You are used to shutting yourself away. But this has just tipped you over the edge.
You press your face into your pillow and let out a long scream of depression and anger. Why you? Why must it always be you?
Footsteps come hurtling up the stairs and your door bursts open with a crash. You have no idea who has come in, but you honestly couldn't care. Suddenly, you feel a warm hand on your shoulder, and you look up into the face of your best friend Edward Elric.
"What's wrong (name)?" he asks quietly, looking with concern into your face.
You open your mouth to speak, and feel your voice choked with emotion. Unable to talk, you shake your hear silently and bury your head in the pillows again. His grip intensifies on your shoulder and he sits down on the bed next to you, not taking his eyes from you.
"Please tell me," he asks gently. "If something's upsetting you, I want to know. Maybe I can help?"
You want to tell him everything, you want to confide in him and tell him just how much he means to you. But the fear of being tossed away, of being replace all over again takes you over, and all that comes out of your mouth is a muffled sob.
"(Name)," Ed says consolingly, pulling you into a sitting position.
You look at your knees, and a tear trickles down your cheek. Ed looks sad as seeing you like this, but you are too messed up to notice. Wordlessly, he leans forward and pulls you into a tight hug.
Too shocked to respond, you just sit there, marvelling at what just happened. He wanted to hug you, so he must care a little bit?
Then, before you can stop it, your eyes mist over and soon you are crying your heart out onto Ed's shoulder, one arm around his waist. He holds you tightly, letting you rid yourself of all the emotion you need to.
When you have regained control of yourself, you sit back, your hand still resting on his knee.
"Now please," Ed says again, squeezing your hand with his. "Tell me what's upset you."
Unable to refuse, you find yourself pouring years and years of locked up feelings out to him. He sits and listens, looking devastated that he never knew.
"(Name) I'm sorry," he says after a while, looking down for the first time. "All this time, I should have been there for you."
"No one's ever there for me," you say with a disheartened sniff. "No one bothers, no one cares."
"I care," Ed says softly. "I care so much that it's breaking me to see you like this."
Astonished by these words, you cannot support yourself when he goes to hug you again, and so you flop down onto your side on the bed. You go to sit up, feeling guilty, but to your surprise you feel Ed's arm close around you from behind. He has lain down next to you and embraced you tightly.
You have never experienced this before in your life, and it takes you a while to adjust to the feeling of Ed lying alongside you, his arm around you, his face nuzzled into your neck.
"I want you to feel better," he whispers, and his hot breath on the back of your neck makes you shiver. "So I'll just stay here until you do, ok?"
"Oh Ed, thank you!" you sigh, closing your eyes. "Just to know that you care is enough for me. I need you Ed, not just now but forever."
"I need you too (Name)," he says, pulling you closer to him.
And in that moment of time, you can think of nowhere else you'd rather be.