It's four in the morning when James comes back to the dorm where Gryffindor's seventh year boys live. He stands for a moment in the middle of the room, listening to Peter's snores and watching Remus' drawn curtains, before he takes his cloak off. He takes a gulp from a bottle of Ogden's that he is carrying - for a little courage - and then stashes both the bottle and his cloak in his trunk and walks over to Remus' bed and draws the curtains open.
Remus is sleeping peacefully and for a moment James thinks that maybe he should let him be and just go back to his own bed and sleep while he still can. But no, he knows that now's the time for the intervention he has been planning for a while.
He pushes at Remus' legs and hisses: "Move over, Moony."
Remus wakes up with a start and manages to kick James in the stomach. Groaning, James thinks that maybe he deserved that.
"What- James? What time is it?" asks Remus, fumbling for his wand, hair tussled and voice groggy from sleep.
"Shhh", James hisses, "Worms is sleeping."
Remus glances over at Wormtail's bed and then scoots over to give James room to sit on his bed. James sits down on the foot of the bed, pulling his legs on it too and then draws the curtains.
Remus has found his wand and suddenly his face is illuminated by the light of Lumos. James blinks several times, eyes adjusting to the light.
"What is it?" asks Remus, little flushed and looking at him concerned, and then sniffing the air: "Have you been drinking?"
"Not much. Was in Hogsmead with Pads." He runs his hand through his hair, wondering why he hadn't planned this far, about what he was actually supposed to say to Remus now that he had him for himself. Being slightly tipsy and exhausted from the lack of sleep isn't helping and his brains is not offering any suggestion for the conversation starters. "Look. I wanted to talk with you."
Remus is looking at him, staring almost. "And it couldn't have waited for tomorrow?"
"No", says James. "Look", he says again, and then repeats it yet one more time to just buy himself a little more time to get his words straight. "Look. My shoes stank of dog piss this morning. And it was not okay."
Remus blinks several times and James thinks he looks like an owl. "Um, okay?"
"No, not okay", says James emphatically, since Remus is missing the point. "My point is... I- Umm- I've seen you look." He looks at Remus, raising his eyebrows suggestively, and Remus blushes and looks away, and James continues, with the courage from the Firewhiskey. "You know. At me."
Remus is squirming. "James...", he says pleadingly.
"I'm not mad", James assures him and pats Remus' knee. "It's really flattering."
Remus groans and hides his face in his hands.
"I should actually thank you, I think Lily agreed to that date with me only because she started to worry you'd steal me away first."
"I very much doubt that", a red faced Remus mutters from behind his hands.
"Oh, I don't. But the thing is, you are a fetching bloke and all, Moons, but... Umm... You are a bloke, you know."
Remus takes his hands finally away from his face, sighs and looks at James, still very red faced. "Prongs. I know. Trust me, I know. We don't need to talk about this. Actually, please, let's not talk about this. This isn't anything serious, I promise you."
"Oh, I assure you, this is very serious", says James. "Look. This morning my shoes stank of piss and the last week my toothpaste tasted like puke. And I am so fucking tired of it."
Remus frowns. "Those things had nothing to do with me."
"Oh, on contrary, Moonbeam, they had everything to do with you." James whishes for a moment that he had his bottle still with him. "Just... look. Do you know where Pads is right now?"
Remus looks confused at the seemingly odd change of topic. "I hope you didn't leave him passed out in some ditch?"
"No, no. No. He is at Honeydukes. Can you guess why?"
"Just get to the point."
"He is at Honeydukes, because when we were coming back through the tunnel I told him that yesterday I had eaten your stash of chocolates", says James triumphantly.
"You didn't actually eat them, right?" Remus asks quickly.
"No, I didn't, of course. But he went mad at me, said you'll need your stash for the full moon - like I didn't know that already - and after a bit of a fight and when I refused to turn back, he turned back himself to fetch you some more. Isn't that cute?"
Remus looks a little flustered. "I- well, that's very thoughtful of him-"
"No, that's very whipped of him", James says sternly. "Trust me, I should know, it takes one to know one. He is arse over tits obsessed with you, and a royal pain in the arse too whenever you as much as smile at me. Got it?"
Remus is looking at him now like he had slapped him. "...what?"
"And the thing is, I think you should give him a chance", James continues. "He might be an annoying overeager puppy who needs some housebreaking, but he is, you know, a decent guy still. And I've heard that he is supposedly good looking, although of course I wouldn't know anything about that. You could do worse. Since, you know, I am off the market." He grins.
"Are you joking?" Remus asks bewildered and is twitching in that odd Moony way.
"Nah, I am not. Just think about it, okay?" James says. "And meanwhile, you know, if you could be a little mean to me sometimes, I'd appreciate that."
"I think I could manage that... Wait, did he seriously piss on your shoes?"
"Siriusly", James says and then giggles, because it is four in the morning and bad puns are bad.
Remus rolls his eyes and shoves him with his leg. "Shut up."
Then they sit in a companionable silence, with James' eyes starting to droop and Remus chewing at his lips in deep thoughts. Peter's snores in the background are starting to lull James to sleep, comfortingly familiar night time sounds as they are.
James startles from his almost-asleep-state when Remus suddenly speaks again: "You know, it's almost funny, but I did fancy him first."
James looks at him. Remus' face doesn't look like he considers it funny. "Oh?"
"It was before the whole Snape fiasco. Back then, I thought I would do anything for him. I guess I would have."
James blinks a few times. He thinks, I'm not awake enough to say really talk about important things!, and then opens his mouth few times, not sure what to say.
"After that I just accepted that it wasn't going to happen ever. Forced myself to instead hate him, for a while. To get over it." Remus' smile is twisted, amused with dark humour.
"It was a long time ago", James finally says. "You know he has grown up since then."
Remus raises his eyebrows at him. "You just told me he pissed on your shoes, and you claim he has grown up?"
Good point, James thinks, but says: "Well, grown up about the things that matter."
Remus looks away, seems uncertain and hesitating, before saying softly: "Yeah. I guess."
The silence that then falls feels not companionable but uncomfortable to James, heavy with the past and the wounds that have never really healed but only scarred over, and James shifts a little. "Well. It's your call. Just... think about it."
Remus nods.
"I think I go to my bed, before I fall asleep here", James says and then grins. "I don't want to imagine what my punishment for being found snuggling you would be."
Remus snorts and blushes a little, which James decides to ignore. As James is climbing from Remus' bed, Remus looks over at Sirius' bed, which has still its curtains open and is empty. "Where is he? Shouldn't he be back by now?"
"Um. I might have locked the trapdoor behind me, when he went back to Honeydukes", James says. "You wouldn't believe how hard it is to catch you alone to talk to you, without Pads playing a self-appointed chaperon, so..."
"You didn't", Remus says, somewhere between mortified and amused.
"Oh, don't look at me like that. He is a resourceful guy, he'll find his way back to the castle before breakfast."