Trust Issues

by ChiefPam

This is fanfic for Beauty & the Beast (2012). They own it, I don't, I'm just borrowing their toys. This is based loosely on spoilers for Season 2, and will no doubt be an alternate universe as soon as October 7th, 2013 gets here, but I needed the emotional fix.

The nights were the worst. During the day, his bosses kept Vincent busy – training, working out, experimenting to find his limits, sometimes just talking with them. He'd been getting into more detailed discussions lately, about the ways he could be useful.

At night, though, when he was lying on his bed alone, he found himself yearning for something. Someone to take away the loneliness. He just didn't know what the something - or someone - was.

Muirfield had said that a mission had gone bad, leaving him amnesiac, but that they could fill in the gaps. They wanted him to a super agent for them, and that didn't seem like a bad thing to be. He just had to get better control over his inner beast. He was making progress, too.

They said that he had volunteered for the super soldier program, after his family had all died. That since then, his life had been focused; he had no contact with the outside world. That part seemed unlikely to him – it didn't seem healthy to give up your whole life for the sake of a research program. Maybe that had been his decision, for some reason, but it didn't feel right anymore.

He didn't enjoy the tests where they pushed him to change to the beast and then back, but he doubted he'd enjoyed boot camp, either. He knew he'd be a more valuable soldier if he could transform at will. They'd said he was getting a lot better at it, and he did feel like he was getting a handle on initiating the change. "Beasting out" he'd heard some of the techs call it, when they'd forgotten how preturnaturally good his hearing was. But coming back down from his altered state was a lot harder, and they still kept tranquilizer guns close at hand.

They hadn't said, but he was smart enough to know that even the tranquilizers were part of the testing, too; the effects seemed different each time, and they always wanted to know how he felt when he woke up. The other guys on the base were okay. None of them were too comfortable around him, though, and he couldn't blame them. He wanted other interaction - female interaction - but it wasn't safe.

Not that he had anywhere to go, anyway. He'd contemplated breaking out – with his enhanced abilities it would be easy. But there was no reason to. And then, what if he lost control of his inner monster while he was out there? Being out in the world when he transformed would be bad, without Muirfield there to protect and cover for him. Adrenaline triggered the changing process, he knew, and so anything exciting was a risk.

He rolled over onto his side. He couldn't chance harming civilians, and anyone who saw him would be terrified. He didn't want to face that. Or worse, they'd try to kill him. That would not end well for them, he knew. His beast was very good at self-defence, and any attackers would probably end up in shreds. Best to keep his differences – and himself – safe on the base.

Still, when he couldn't sleep and lay awake staring at the ceiling, he couldn't help feeling that he was missing something, or someone. Whatever it was, he thought it must be tremendously important; dwelling on it for too long would get the beast stirring. He just wished he could remember what it was.

SECTION BREAK

The nights were the worst. During the day, Catherine did her job, pulling up the energy to get through the day. She couldn't let Tess down; without Tess she'd have gone insane already. But every moment not spent on work was consumed by efforts to find Vincent. For three months, she'd had no luck, but she kept pushing.

She told herself that he had to be alive; Muirfield had taken him alive, therefore they wanted him alive, therefore he was still alive. She just had to find him. She would find him. But at night, lying alone in bed, she had to admit how shaky that logic chain was. They might have done anything to him, and the possibilities were too awful to contemplate closely.

Sometimes, her fear was that he was alive and free, but was keeping away from her, for her own good. He'd always wanted her to have a "normal" life. She'd told him, over and over, that he was a big part of her life, the best part of her life, but he hadn't been entirely convinced. "Vincent, if you're out there," she'd call out softly, trying not to cry. "My normal life is torture without you. Please come back to me." Then she'd hold her breath and listen, but her fire escape always remained deserted.

Other nights, she gave into her restlessness and started driving. She'd made a list of possibilities, and was working through them. Tonight, she was headed towards an industrial park two hours outside of the city. Tess didn't like for Cat to be awake all night, but some nights, sleep just wasn't going to happen. So she tried to put the time to good use.

Vincent was awakened by an alarm sounding, one he hadn't heard before. The startlement once would have triggered a change, but he had enough control now that it didn't. However, he could feel that his inner beast was much more restless than normal. There was no way he could stay in bed. He dressed quickly and followed the noises. It sounded like there had been an attack; they were searching for intruders. The base wasn't physically secured - he thought it had been an industrial park or something - so they were spreading out. Part of him thought he should stay away, all things considered, but his feet kept going.

He changed direction abruptly as the sound of a scuffle broke out behind him. In seconds he was behind a building, trying to make sense of what he saw. One of the guards was fighting a smaller opponent. Whoever the intruder was, he was good. Probably wouldn't last too much longer, though. He was distantly aware of another guard running towards the fight.

The combatants circled, moved, parried... and then the intruder was briefly illuminated by a street light. It was a woman, and she was losing the fight.

Everything in Vincent snapped to attention, and the beast took over. He felled the struggling guard with one swipe, then leaped around to face the second one, who had his gun out. The beast slashed at him, and he fell to the ground, as well, his gun lost in the night.

Vincent took a moment to catch his breath, trying desperately to revert to his normal appearance. There was a soft sound behind him and he whirled around to face the woman, hoping he didn't look as monstrous as he felt, hoping desperately that she wouldn't attack him next.

She looked at him and gasped. "Oh my god," she whispered, still trying to get her breath back. "I thought I'd never find you." She started coming towards him.

He held up his hands to ward her off, and stepped backwards while he still could. "Please, lady, don't come near me. I might hurt you. I don't know who you are or how you got here, but you need to leave, now."

Her face, finally, showed the fear that he had expected from the beginning. "What have they done to you?"

He moved to be sure her escape route was clear. His beast was under control for now, but he was struggling harder than Vincent had ever known, and he wasn't sure he could hold on. "You saw what they did! Why aren't you running?" He found himself angry with her, and took a step forward, trying now to scare her. "I can't control it; I'm going to change back to the monster soon. You saw what it does to people."

She glanced around at the bodies. "I know. It's okay."

"It's not okay! They were my fellow agents, and the monster just ripped them apart." He moved sideways, his beast fighting for control. "You're not even supposed to be here." He fought to stay lucid, while the beast in him moved closer to her, crouching down and circling her. "They're searching for you. Why aren't you running?"

She held out her hands towards his face. "Vincent, it's okay. Shh, it's okay." She moved, too, but not to run; she moved closer to him.

He was terrified for her, but he couldn't move away, couldn't keep his eyes off of her beautiful face. Her scent surrounded him, the sound of her heart beating fast in his ears. She filled his consciousness, blocking out everything else, and he could feel himself transforming. Vincent pulled fiercely on his newly-gained self control, even as he watched his own clawed hands reaching out towards her.

The crack of a gun startled them both, and Vincent lost control again as the beast fully took over.

Catherine watched as Vincent transformed, and for a moment, she was afraid. This Vincent was different, he didn't know her. What if…? Then he reached out and before she knew it she was being securely held against Vincent's body as the beast turned and ran. She couldn't tell where they were going, and kept her head tucked into his neck; at one point they jumped something high. There were gunshots at first, but they got further away and then stopped.

And still he was running, although not as quickly as before. It sounded like they were in a forest. She took a look around but saw very little in the darkness. He slowed to a walk, then, but kept going, not saying a word, not ever hesitating. Whatever changes they'd made, apparently his night vision was intact. But his memories, obviously, were not. He thought Muirfield was on his side, and that she was the enemy. She might have found him, but she hadn't gotten him back. Yet.

"Where are we going?"He grunted and kept walking. Okay, not verbal yet. She reached up to touch his face, and confirmed by touch that he was still lost in the beast state.

"Vincent, stop." She pushed at his arm. "Please put me down now."

His only response was to pull her closer, and she gave up the fight, too tired to protest anymore. Squirming around, she managed to pull out her burner phone, and sent a carefully-worded text to Tess and JT. "Got him. Sort of. Have to run, see you as soon as we can." She then turned it off, and put it away. She and Vincent were finally together, nothing else mattered, and it felt so good to be in his arms again.

She woke at the crack of wood breaking. She was being carried through a door, and deposited on a couch. The room was dark and smelled deserted.

The beast grunted, groaned, and slowly collapsed onto the rug. She watched as he reverted back to human; his eyes flickered open briefly, widening in dismay, then closed again as he slept, exhausted. She studied his beloved face for a moment. So maybe Vincent didn't know her. But it sure seemed like his beast did.

He must have carried her for hours. She looked around a little more and forced herself to sit up. On wobbly legs, she explored the room - and recognized it. She wasn't sure whether to cry or laugh, and hardly had the energy for either. This was the cabin where he'd brought Alex. Some part of him remembered some things, at least.

A short foray around assured her that no one else was there, so she returned to the main room. It was still dark out, and she was still tired. She went over to the couch and sat, pulling off her boots and her coat. The powered down phone could remain in the pocket, if it hadn't fallen out already. She didn't bother to check.

She grabbed the sofa blanket and covered Vincent with it, then lay down next to him, arranged the blanket to cover them both, and fell asleep behind him, one arm over his waist.

Vincent woke slowly, processing unfamiliar stimuli. There was a comforting rhythm in his ears. He was lying on his side, on a fairly hard surface. His back felt chilled, but his front was comfortably warm, and his arm was…

His eyes snapped open, and he stared in shock. It was the woman from last night, the one who'd invaded the base and had been fighting his fellow agents. He was curled up against her intimately and he flushed as he realized how very, very good that felt.

What had he done? He remembered struggling with his beast, fighting for control long enough for her to escape him, but he must have lost that battle. He loosened his arm, but she wordlessly protested, still asleep, and he stopped moving. He dreaded the scene when she woke up and realized where she was.

He glanced around at the room, noting the rustic look, and winced as he caught sight of the door, obviously broken. That must have been how the beast entered this place. He'd carried her, obviously. And then gone to sleep with her. What else might he have done? He shifted cautiously, raising his head to see her better. Her clothes seemed to be intact, from what he could see. There was a blanket, too; where could that have come from?

Now what? She'd definitely seen the beast. And he'd kidnapped her – she would be on the phone to the cops as soon as she could get away, and he wasn't going to stop her. He'd just have to call the base and hope they could send out a clean-up team that would get there before the local police would.

He needed to think about what to do next. But it was hard to think while looking at her, and impossible to stop looking. She was so beautiful. Dark hair, delicate features. He noted signs of fatigue, as well, which probably explained why she was sleeping so heavily despite lying next to a monster. She was petite, but last night in fighting the guards, she'd demonstrated strength and skill. He was grateful she hadn't tried to fight him. It was hard to remember clearly. She had seen him, at least half-changed, but had just talked to him, just as if he weren't a terrifying sight.

He didn't know her name. He didn't know where they were, or quite what had happened. All he knew was that he didn't want to let her go. He settled back down on the floor, relaxing beside her. He recognized now that the rhythm he'd been hearing was her heartbeat. It was steady, slow, and somehow very comforting. It occurred to him that for once, the aching loneliness had disappeared.

Of course, it wouldn't – couldn't – last . He closed his eyes, hoping that she would sleep for a few more hours, to prolong this feeling as much as possible before he'd have to give it up. Listening to her heartbeat, he felt astonishingly peaceful.

To be continued, shortly... quicker with good reviews, hint, hint!