If You Were Gay, Sasuke

From - If You Were Gay Song By Avenue Q

For the past three years, Uzimaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke, the famed rivals had been sharing an apartment in lower Konoha as friends and nothing more at all. All had been normal and perfectly fine (except for a mishap involving a glue, feathers, and ramen-flavored sake.); Until one day when Naruto came in after a hard day of training!

"Ah!" Sasuke sighed contently and flipped a few pages in the new dirty yaoi book he had bought to read and hide in his secret stash beneath his bed.

"An afternoon alone with a great book! No stupid Naruto to harass me, nor any noisy neighbors screwing like bunnies! How could it get any better than this?!"

"Hey Sasuke!" Naruto slammed open the door and happily bounced over to collapse on the couch by Sasuke.

"Hey Naruto..." The Uchiha half-growled and held the book close to his face.

"Ah! Hey Sasuke! You'll never guess what happened to me at training today! This red-head was smiling at me and talking to me and..." The babbling blonde was cut off by a typical monotone voice.

"Yes, yes, that's very interesting, Naruto." The raven-haired boy flipped another page in his dirty novel.

"..And he was being really friendly! I think he was coming onto me! I think... that he thought... that I... was gay!" Naruto's eyes widened and his smile grew as he went on in his story.

"Gawk!" Uchiha cleared his throat, "Ahem, so, uh, um, er... why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care! What did you eat with your ramen today?"

"Sasuke... you don't have to get all... defensive you know.." The blonde shifted slightly in his seat.

"I'M NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE!" The raven-haired Uchiha huffed and puffed before calming down slightly. "What do I care about some gay guy you met. I am trying to read, Naruto!"

"You know I didn't mean anything by it Sasuke... We've lived together for three years, I think this is something we should be able to talk about!" Naruto smiled brightly, the rusted cogs in his mind turning.

"Well, Naruto, I do not want to talk about it. This conversation is over." Another huff from the Uchiha, along with a turned page.

"But Sasuke..."

"I SAID OVER!"

"Well..." a dramatic pause from the Uzimaki, "...just so you know.." The raven-haired boy arched a slightly curious eyebrow at the blonde.In a flash that seemed to disturb the Uchiha well into the future, Naruto burst into song.."If you were gay! That's be okay! I mean 'cause hey! I like you Sasuke! Because you see, if it were me, I'd feel free to say that I was gay! (But I'm not gay.)"

"Naruto.. I am trying to read!" Sasuke snapped at the now singing blonde. Said blonde stopped his song long enough to stare at Sasuke in an awkward as hell silence.

"... WHAT?!"

Naruto went back to song once again..."If you were queer!"

"Naruto, stop it!"

"I'd still be here!"

"I am trying to read this book!" Desperately, Sasuke slammed his own head into the table with the book flatting his raven colored hair.

"Year after year!"

"NARUTO!"

"Because you are dear! (To me.)"

"I'm warning you, Naruto.."

"And I know that you,"Uchiha sat up and looked/glared at Naruto,

"Me? I'd what??"

"Would accept me toooo!"

"Don't count on it.." he mumbled through gritted teeth.

"If I told you today; 'Hey, guess what, I'm gay!' (But I'm not gay.) I am happy! Just to be with you!"

"...a passionate kiss was shared between the two..." Sasuke read aloud from his book.

"So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys?!"

"Naruto!! That is just WRONG!" Sasuke's face formed a (fake) look of disgust above his book.

The blonde huffed, "No it is not, Sasuke! If you were gay! I'd shout HURRAY!"

"GRAWR! I AM NO LISTENING ANYMORE!" Uchiha yelled while contemplating bashing the blondes head (ass) into the wall (floor).

"And here I'd stay!!!"Thin, pale, and twitching fingers inched toward the singing blondes neck.

"I wouldn't get in your way!"

'So close... so close.. I could just snap his perfectly annoying (delectable) neck right in two...'

"You can count on me, to always be, beside you everyday! To tell you it's okay! You were just born that way! And, as they say, it's in your DNA (Itachi)! YOU'RE GAY!" The blond-haired ninja's song stopped and he stood grinning beside Sasuke.That was it. Uchiha Sasuke could not take it ANYMORE! Like a flash of raven lighting, the paler and smaller boy tackled the other to the soft carpet clad ground,

"Grawr!" A thick growl escaped Sasuke's throat as Naruto whimpered from fright.

"Chill Sasuke! I was just teasing! I know you're not ga--"A pair of pale sakura blossom colored lips smashed down onto the other's quivering lips in a locked, powerful, and quiet pleasant (though bruising) kiss.Shock. Pure shock, and maybe a little pleasure tingled the spine of Uzimaki. Sasuke was gay. No 'If' about it anymore. The powerful lips pulled away and eyes narrow with lust stared down at the pinned and wide-eyed boy.

"You... you're gay!"A firm nod was the only response from Sasuke, who felt that if he spoke his words would fail him completely..A dreadfully long pause from the blonde made a shudder of doubt and slight shame flow through Sasuke.

"... Well then ... Good. I thought I was the only one.."The lusty eyes of Sasuke changed to wide, shocked ones.

"What d--"Now, it was Naruto's turn to be on top.If they were gay... It would be okay.

Now the problem was WHO WAS THE DAM UKE?