Snow is all nervous and twitchy. It's Valentine's day, and his first one in a relationship. He was already dressed by the time I was awake, and was rustling around in the wardrobe for something. When he turned around I could see his eyes were shot with red, and had a hint of shadow underneath them. He'd obviously been up all night worrying about his first Valentine's with Wellbelove. Agatha. I know nothing would ever happen between Snow and I, but I still feel a twinge of jealousy whenever that name crosses my mind. Snow has his perfect little golden relationship, the chosen one and sister fucking golden hair- what a match, and I'll never have mine. One day I'll just have to suck it up and settle for some other bloke, someone else with those moles, golden curls, and Merlin and Morgana, those overly expressive blue eyes, would be fantastic. But for now, I'm too caught up in Simon bloody Snow to even think about anyone else. I hate how much I love him and his endearing, lip curling smile. I hate that it's never directed at me, and I hate that I want it to be. Great Snakes, someone needs to save my Snow-infatuated soul. S.O.S for the S.I.S.
I get up and shower, once Snow's walked out the door with his bunch of pink flecked red roses (where did he even get those?) and goofily nervous, dazed smile. I'm glad he's gone, and gone early, because it allows me to take a nice, long shower to sort through my feelings. I wish there was some way of spelling away my love for Snow, but believe me, there is not. I've tried- things would be so much easier if I had feelings for someone else. It's just my luck that I've fallen for the one person I can never have- there's no way my family would be into I, Basilton Grimm-Pitch, being with Simon Snow, he's the mage's heir for Crowley's sake. He hates me, and it's not even like he's gay, or available anyway. I'm never going to be in with a chance, especially with Wellbelove still around. I've seen the way he smiles brightly when he sees her, mesmerized with her entire being. His golden Agatha. The perfect half of the perfect couple. He's never going to look at me that way, hypnotized by my hair, caught up in my eyes. So I let myself fantasize sometimes. It helps with coping I guess, until I come out of the fantasy and realize Snow isn't obsessed with me in that way, that he doesn't want to kiss me, doesn't want to touch me at all unless it's to give me a good shove. Simon Snow is my nemesis, and this is my grim reality.
Simon seems to be with Wellbelove all day. They're holding hands in the hallways between classes, sitting out on the Great Lawn at lunch, blanket out picnic style, sitting together across from Bunce. I see them sitting on a bench outside the Cloisters at sunset, tree branches drooping over them, leaves framing their figures, and the setting sun lighting up their eyes. Aleister Crowley, how romantic. I let my mind wander for a moment, pretending it is me sitting next to Snow, leaning against his shoulder, deep in conversation with him. And then I imagine him kissing me, that bright red smile on his face as we pull apart. But I snap out of it and head down into the catacombs to wallow in my self-pity and pure loving agony as I suck the blood out of rats like the vampire I am. Vampirism, just another reason Snow would never love me.