I stroke my long hair and pretend to act nervous just in case any cameras are on me. I purposely grew it out to make me look more feminine. You see in District 7, they don't even pretend that the reapings are random. They teach us in school to keep a low profile, to conform to whatever job you're assigned and have no complaints about your arranged marriage. If you were a huge bother, they'd fill the entire bowl with your name. Although it seems that hardly ever happens. However, your chances of being picked were directly correlated with how well you behaved.
Needless to say, I was not well behaved that year. My rash mouth and horrible thoughts betrayed me right after last year's reaping. They had just assigned me to be a home keeper because of my masculinity. They thought maybe putting me in a feminine and traditional role; they might tame me or at least make me mindful of my manners. Fuck that! I will not be kept inside and made subservient. Only instead of thinking this, I screamed it. I knew this role meant marriage and it conflicted with my life plan. I was happy training with the boys in school and my brothers taught me so much about wood cutting. "I am a motherfucking lumberjack, goddamn it!" I yelled to the class. I knew then that if I was lucky, they'd just pick me for the reaping and if I was really unlucky, they'd kill my family and then pick me for the reaping. That's when we made the plan.
They call my name for the interview. I pretend to tremble. "They're going to eat me alive", I tell Caesar. "One mistake by me and I'm dead. I have no hope!" My heart is beating like a hammer as I bury my head into my hands. I'm going to eat them alive. I'll make them stumble and win the games. Then I'll torture every last one of these Capitol idiots for drawing out my name. It's almost impossible for me to act soft, girly, and innocent. I'm still not sure how they bought that a girl of my figure was a weakling. I was pretty tall and had a medium build; in fact I was bigger everywhere than the boy they picked for me to marry. My rash thoughts told me to run from the district. I could survive. But what would they do to my brothers and my father? They had all held their tongues, but they had also been named with decent professions and kind wives. I had a shitty job and a nervous twig about to become my husband. No future. The hunger games looked great compared to that. Hell, torture by fire looked fantastic compared to Melvin Woods and child birth.
I fake sobbing through the interview. I feign weakness through the first three days until my axe comes. Then I kick ass. Sitting in the Victor's chair in the Capitol, I am ruthless. They surly wouldn't touch my family now that I am a winner. This is where I was wrong. I came back to nothing. Completely grieve stricken, I shaved my head and made marks all over my body. I wondered if all of it was worth it. At least with Melvin, I could have seen my family. But then over time I realize that I have ultimate freedom and it's miserable. I was a rebel without a cause and damn did I need something to oppose.
This is where a former victor approached me about a plan. More districts were starting to rebel and we needed a way to break away and start over. Starting over? That sounds fantastic.
"Count me in pretty boy." I ruffled his hair. "So, I'm in this to avenge my family. Who are you in it for?"
"All of my adoring fans." He gave a wink and then whispered in my ear, "A girl back home that is as untamable as the sea. I hear wild women get along well, you should meet her the next time you're in D4." He winked again and I told him not to propose such indecent things, which made him smile.
I liked his deception so much; I did visit D4 and met his wild woman. We got along swimmingly and luckily for both of them that I did meet her because she was reaped in the next games. I helped lover boy bring her home (as did that crazy drunk from D12). That's my unselfish deed for my lifetime. No more helping anyone else, especially not for lovers. Ugh.