These charcters are not mine, I'm just doing what the site tells me to do.
Note: Extremely odd violence and overall odd story. WARNING: Run.
If you've played Resident Evil:3, you'll know what I'm talking about. Our
heroes are now in the Newspaper Office in Raccoon City, being pursued by the
big Nemisis.
***Uh, Something's wrong with Raccoon (not what you think)***
"...and she had these great big breasts-"
"sshh!" hushed Jill to Carlos. She had heard something downstairs. She
checked her ammo supply.
"Holy Crappiness!" She was out. Completely.
Carlos grabbed the computer and threw it out the window.
"What was that for?" Jill cried.
Suddenly, the nemisis appeared, and ran toward Carlos. With a giant swipe,
He chopped Carlos in two with a massive, deformed arm. Tentacles began
stabbing the, uh, "broken" Carlos until he was mushed into a bloody pulp.
The nemisis turned to Jill.
--------------------------------------------------
"Omigod! You killed Carlos! You bastard!"
"Stop...Southpark®...ripoffs..." growled the monster. Jill reached into her
pocket, and found what she was looking for! She hurled the blue gem at the
Nemisis. The gem's spike hit his forehead but..it..bounced..away. He took
a giant step toward Jill, a humanly impossible step, and huge step and it....
exploded? Bloody chunks flew every where.
"Huh?" Jill was confused.
--------------------------------------------------
Downstairs there were two hunter creatures making passionate love, and three
spiders were dancing to "Day-O." Jill picked up a document and it read:
Dear poor,pitiful fool,
The C.D.T.G.E.B.Z.-virus was created to totally confuse the STARS
members, so they'd go crazy and kill themselves. It was specifically
designed so that it would spread by means of "airborne." STARS members
can't catch it due to the fact that it was designed for them to be
immune to it. Uh Oh! I shouldn't have told you that!
Sincerely,
A crazy lunatic who doesn't know what he's talking about.
"Oh no!" Jill sighed.
The hunters heard it, stopped their lovemaking and did ballet.
"I'm going to die" she said and walked out.
--------------------------------------------------
Outside, ten zombies were looking all over to find the zombie dog's contact lens.
She ignored them and continued on.
"Well, I guess this isn't TOO bad" then off in the distance she heard a
muffled voice yelling, "Ooh! Sparky, I found it!"
Jill finally arrived at the trolley and went inside. Nicholai and Mikhail
were playing Resident Evil®. Jill walked back out, trying to keep her cool.
She knew nothing was right so she tried to expect anything unusual.
Suddenly, the Nemisis2 appeared and almost killed her. He seemed more normal
than anything else. Obviously, unnaffected by the virus for some *odd* reason
"We gotta kill it once and for all" said Carlos from behind her.
"Carlos, aren't you dead?!?" said Jill.
"No time for that now, we gotta kill it NOW!"
They fired their guns (yeah, bullets maghically appeared in Jill's gun) and
the Nemisis recoiled.
"OWIE!" growled Nemisis.
"Owie?" Jill was confused.
The nemisis turned into a batch of butterflies, Carlos made cookies, and
Jill was left naked on the beach, extremely confused.