RNT: I know, it's been forever since I've posted anything. Well now I have. This is a humorous thing I just did after going through so many Harry Potter Slash fics. So I hope many people enjoy this.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters I'm using, or any the magical properties incorporated in each fanfiction. This all belongs to J. K. Rowling.
Letters of Rejection:
Draco "Jackass" Malfoy
If there was one thing that Harry Potter was not, it was stupid. Sure, many people from the Slytherin would argue that, but in truth Harry wasn't.
That is why he was pissed when he got a love note that was so over-done that Harry would have to be brainless to not know it was from Draco Malfoy. I mean, really, who the hell uses silk paper with a silver dragon watermark and green ink yet sign "your secret admirer" as if you wouldn't be able to tell?
……………
Well, too bad for Draco, for when it came to rejecting any suitor, Harry was not only vicious but also very blunt about it.
So with that, Harry dipped his quill in his ink pot and started to write a letter that would make Draco regret even thinking about Harry with any positive emotion.
It was a Monday morning, the best time to ruin someone's day and make them sulking around for the rest of the week. Hedwig did a simple a quick delivery, dropping the letter on top of receiver's food that caused it to splatter over himself, before going to her owner, steal a piece of bacon, and then return to where ever the hell she came from.
Wasting no time in giving Harry a glance over, Draco ripped open his mail and started to read.
Dear Malfoy Junior,
With all do respect, I suggest that you turn to another person as a source for your libido's satisfaction. I have no time to spare you in coddling with a sex-crazed child, who obviously thinks that writing out your sexual fantasies to someone will get him in your bed in no time.
After all, you'd be a great danger to me and my health. No, not in the perverted sense you must think of, but in the sense that I'll be driven to kill you in a horrible and painful way and sent to Azkaban, simply because you are a jackass.
Besides, if I wanted to be treated as a trophy and degraded to a position of worthlessness, then I would have become Mrs. Umbridge's bitch.
So next time you even think about using me as the star of your wet dreams keep these things in mind:
1.) Just because I'm gay, doesn't mean I'm desperate.
2.) I go for men, not she-mans. And believe me, you are one. Why else would you hold yourself up as much as a girl and whine about absolutely everything?
3.) I also prefer men older than me. I'm not gonna trust the satisfaction of my pleasure and the safety of my ass to someone as virginal as you. Rather, I go for someone who actually knows what they're doing.
4.) I don't go for self-centered jerks.
So I hope you take what I've just written in mind, or else I would have to spell your broom to join that stick up your ass.
Not-So-Sincerely,
Harry.
RNT: Well, I hope that was enjoyable. If you have any suggestions, please make them in an appropriate manner. I may pair Harry with someone later on, but for now that is on the backburner for now. Thank you for reading this and have a great day.