Kidnapped!
By: Nefertiri's Handmaiden
Disclaimer: I don't own them. My name is NOT J.K Rowling and I do NOT write books about characters I created.
I write fanfiction, which is a very different thing.
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Ron wasn't the most pleasant guy to be around lately. The youngest Weasley son was in a chronic bad mood. He was working extra hours at the Ministry, feeling a little nauseous because anything he tried to cook turned out as a sort of. . . goop, and Hermione, his girlfriend, was studying in Spain for two months.
To be more blunt, Ron was overworked, sleep deprived, sick, malnourished, missing Hermione, missing sleeping with Hermione, and all-around unhappy.
Harry, especially, knew this. The Boy Who Lived understood how Ron felt. Ginny had gone to Spain with Hermione, and Harry was putting in overtime as well. So now both men were left without women to make them feel better. Harry had a little more luck, because he could make more than cereal, but both were still missing their girls.
One day after a particularly grueling day at the office, our heroes were sitting on dirty barstools at the Three Broomsticks, drinking heavily enough that they would regret it in the morning.
With all the alcohol the two had consumed, one would think they'd be feeling pretty good about themselves at the moment. That wasn't the case. They were miserable.
"I miss Ginny," Harry slurred.
"I miss 'Mione more," Ron slurred back.
"I wish I could be with her right now," Harry whined.
"Me too."
"You wish you could be with Ginny?" asked Harry in drunken confusion.
"No. 'Mione."
"Oh," nodded Harry.
The boys sat in silence for a moment, feeling sorry for themselves. Then Harry's eyes lit up.
"I got a idea."
Ron looked at him blearily. "Huh?"
"We miss them, right?"
"Yeah."
"And they miss us, right?"
"They say so. But they're stronger than us, Harry. That's we're such wrecks and they're fine."
"Who cares? They miss us and we miss them. They're only one solution."
"What's that?"
"We gotta kidnap them," stated Harry confidently as he crossed his arms.
Ron thought for a moment before. . . "That's not a bad idea, Harry."
"Of course it isn't. I thought of it."
"So how do we get there? We can't apparate since the Spanish Ministry passed the No-Apparating law."
Harry thought a moment. "We'll take the Floo there. Then we'll fly our brooms to their hotel and kidnap them."
"Brilliant."
The men grabbed their brooms (they had flown to the pub), and walked over to the fireplace. Harry picked up the Official Floo Directory and leafed through it to find the town nearest Hermione and Ginny.
"Got it!" he declared triumphantly. The boys grabbed some Floo Powder, and disappeared into the fireplace.
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Hermione and Ginny had to say they were missing their men. After only a few weeks without them, the two girls were feeling a little melancholy.
But Spain was fun, and they figured they could spend a few more weeks without Ron and Harry without dying.
Late one night, the girls were headed back to their hotel. They walked together, but their minds were elsewhere, and so it took Hermione nearly five minutes to realize Ginny was no longer at her side. She whipped around in panic.
"Ginny?" she called.
But before she could call again, someone grabbed her arm, and pulled her into a nearby alley. She swung at her attacker wildly.
"Who are you? Where's Ginny?"
"It's Ron, 'Mione. Relax. Ginny's with Harry."
He leaned down to kiss her, but she pulled away when she smelt Firewhiskey on his breath.
"Ron, have you been drinking?"
"Most definitely," said Ron with confidence, and Hermione noticed the slur of his words for the first time. He tried to kiss her again, but she pulled away once more.
"Now look here," he said somewhat crossly. "Me 'n Harry were missing you and Ginny, so we come down here and go to all the trouble of kidnapping you two for a night of passion, and I can't get a decent kiss?"
Hermione laughed and pressed her lips to Ron's. After a moment the two parted, needing air.
"That's more like it," Ron said in satisfaction.
Hermione grinned, then frowned and said, "Ron, you have to go back to London. You'll be late for work tomorrow morning."
"Don't care," said Ron as he lowered his lips to her neck.
"You should," she scolded and slapped his hand away as it inched toward her backside.
"Hermione," Ron whined.
"Ron," she said dangerously.
"Look, 'Mione. I'm drunk and horny and we're not going to see each other for weeks. So I demand one night without any arguing." With that, he kissed her, roughly at first, then more tenderly and passionately. Hermione forgot all about work.
When they broke apart again, Hermione pointed and said, "My hotel's in that direction." Ron smiled and they climbed onto his broomstick. As they flew, Hermione wrapped her arms around Ron's waist and kissed the back of his neck. He squirmed, but somehow managed to land the broom safely at their destination without crashing.
They landed in Hermione's room by way of her window. Ron dismounted and pulled Hermione to the bed. As they fell with a soft thump on the blankets, there was a sound from the room next to Hermione's, though neither noticed it.
It was the sound of young woman saying, "Harry, Harry, Harry."
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The next morning Ron woke to Hermione's bushy brown hair all over his face. He smiled sleepily and stroked the long tresses. Hermione mumbled and stirred. Soon enough, she lifted her head from where it lay on his chest and looked down at him. They grinned and she lowered her face to his for a lingering kiss.
After a few moments, Ron glanced at the clock.
"Bloody hell!" he shouted. "I'm late for work!" He clambered out of bed and started searching for his pants. Hermione chuckled softly and stepped out of bed to help him. After only a few moments, Ron was dressed. He grabbed his broom and went into the hall, Hermione following in her bathrobe. Moving quickly, he found Ginny's door and began to pound on it.
"Harry! Get out here! We're late for work!"
From inside the room they heard Harry yell, "Dammit!" and Ginny giggling. Seconds later, Harry opened the door, pulling his shirt over his head. Ginny was right behind him.
"Harry, you're forgetting something," Ginny said softly.
Harry looked back at her. "What?"
Ginny pressed her lips to Harry's. Ron made a face, but then Hermione pulled him down for her own goodbye kiss, and Ron forgot about Harry and Ginny.
After a moment, the couples pulled apart, and Hermione gave Ron a shove. "Now get to work!"
The boys smiled cockily. They sprinted down the hall, and threw back a goodbye grin before taking off through the window at the end of the corridor.
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When Harry and Ron arrived at the Ministry, their boss was furious. "Potter! Weasley! You're three hours late! What's wrong with you?"
"Sorry, sir," said Ron.
"We were. . . detained," added Harry.
Boss-man looked at them suspiciously, and then continued his rant. By the time it was over, the men had discovered they would be working triple shifts this evening.
A short time later, they plopped down at their desks in the office they shared.
Ron, hungover, hungry, and fed up with the boss, looked over at Harry, who was in no better a state than him. The red-haired hero grinned.
"That was so worth it."
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What did you think? Was that to stupid for words? Well, even if it was, I hope you enjoyed it.