Sorry, Walt Originally Posted 3/4/06 on Uncharted Waters
O Captain! In khaki! What have you gone and done?
The Seaview's weather'd every jolt, the battle we have won;
The mummy's fried, the cheers I hear, the crew are all exulting,
Till joyous eyes search the con-where's their leader grim and daring?
But O damn! damn! damn!
O the bleeding drops of red
There on the deck the Captain lies
Knocked upside the head.
O Captain! In khaki! Rise up to answer bells!
Rise up- for this is getting old-the swooning and the spills.
Too many times you've met the deck, a-fainting, knees a-buckling;
When will you learn to heed the signs of blood pressure dropping?
Please Captain! Do something!
Before you wind up dead
Perhaps get your blood sugar checked
And spare your battered head.
Apologies to Walt Whitman, whose poem "O Captain! My Captain!" inspired this bit of nonsense.