Coffee By Maxblader01
Max: What will happen when Zim discovers coffee? Even worse, what will happen when Zim drinks large amounts of coffee? I'm exhausted and I have this strange hyper version of Zim in my head. Don't ask. Hyper Dib, too. Maybe some hyper GIR, too, for normalness. Or maybe not. Just read it!
Disclaimer: The last time I checked, Invader Zim was on The Very Long List of Things I Don't Own. But that was a while ago. I'll check again. ::Checks The Very Long List of Things I Don't Own.:: Yup, still on the list.
Zim: ::Walks to Skool in his earth kid disguise. Looks at a store as he walks by. Bumps into a kid.:: What is that... thing, earth monkey!
Kid: Uh, a coffee shop... Where people buy... coffee...
Zim: And what is... coffee?
Kid: A drink... that you... drink...
Zim: My patience is wearing thin, wormbaby. Why would the human race dedicate entire shops to the buying and selling of a drink?
Kid: The caffeine gives you energy. Especially to adults. They like it.
Zim: Energy enough to rule the earth with?
Kid: ...I guess so... Can I... go now?
Zim: Am I stopping you?
Kid: ...uh.... ::Runs away.::
Zim: ::Laughs evilly:: With a new boost to my energy levels, I can single- handedly destroy the earth!
Dib: I wish I hadn't left my tape recorder at home!
Zim: ::Turns around.:: Where did you come from?
Dib: Down the street. I've been behind you the whole time. Hey, when did you think up plans that made some sense?
Zim: A self-help class on the Irken Internet... I mean... My plans have always made sense, you fool! And soon you will feel the wrath of the coffee energized Zim! ::Walks away.::
Dib: I will turn his plan against him by drinking large amounts of coffee first! Then, with my energy, I will keep the world from being taken over! Wait... If the world was never taken over then we wouldn't have a president and Zim wouldn't be here. So I would keep Just Zim from taking over the world. But wait! If he's here, He will try to take over the world again. But he needs to try o take over the world! I need to prove alien existence! ... What was I saying? I'm so tired. I think I'll go buy some coffee and try to remember while I drink it.
::A few hours later at Zim's base::
Dib: ::Bounces around the house.:: Why am I here? Oh yeah! To steal more coffee because the guy at Coffee World said that another was way too much caffeine for an eleven year old who had already spent half his sister's life savings on coffee. (Let's hope that half wasn't a lot) ::Runs inside.:: Ziiiiiiiiiiiim! Where's Your coooooooooffeeeeeee?
Zim: ::Runs in the room.:: I drank it all. No more coffee. Now I'll take over the world with my alien-ish plan! After I watch the Scary Monkey Show. ::Jumps up and down on couch watching the angry monkey.
Dib: ::Runs in circles around the room, totally forgetting that this time, he had his tape recorder with him::
Angry Monkey: ::Growls:: Grrrr....
Dib/Zim: I luv this show.
GIR: Honestly, you two are the most idiotic beings I've ever met.
Dib: ::Stops running:: Hey! When did you start acting normal?
GIR: Self-help class on the Irken Internet.
Zim: Shoooosh! Angry Monkey Show! ::Throws his last cup of coffee on GIR.::
Dib: You have more coffee? You've been holding out on me!
GIR: ::Circuits short out.:: What? Monkey Show? ::Sits in front of TV::
Zim/GIR/Dib: I luv this show!
Max: Wow. That was crazy, wasn't it?
GIR: And caffeinated! Don't forget caffeinated!
Max: What? Where did you come from?
GIR: Uh..... pudding!
Max: But... It's not a Wednesday, GIR.
GIR: Yes, but it is December.
Max: No it's not, it's June.
GIR: On Mars it is.
Max: Are you sure about that?
GIR: Noooo.....
Max: Would you like to find out?
GIR: Uh..... Okay!
Max: Tell me what you think about this... disaster. In the meantime, I'll be going to drop GIR off on Mars and never bring him back.