DISCLAIMER: I own nothing not even this computer or my car. JKR and her posse own the HP world.
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Greetings Pranksters
WWW of Diagon Alley is in search of a summer intern!
The pay is not much but the pranking knowledge you will gain will be invaluable for your remaining school years.
Our master prankster in training should be skilled in charms, transfiguration, and potions. Please send an owl with the application below, your pranking resume, and detention history to Gred and Forge Weasley. Please be aware for hiring purposes honesty is the order of the day. If you attempt to take credit for someone else's pranks or detentions a WWW surprise awaits you!
Good Luck to all who apply and be sure to visit our store for a variety of pranking supplies!
Gred and Forge
Severus Snape snorted as he read the Weasley twins advert. After a bit of thought began to smirk evilly then in the privacy of his quarters he chucked loudly. In a matter of minutes he had conceived a plan that would pay back the twins for every headache they had ever caused him. With a bit of tweaking to his current plan, a moderate supply of polyjuice potion, and a bit of his nephews hair he would cause those red headed fools no end of trouble this summer.
And honestly between the spying and teaching ignorant dunderheads for most of the year he deserved a break. A bit of fun in his life would not be amiss.
A few days, a couple of spells and one potion later the honesty compulsion charms and various hexes and jinxes were off the application and the polyjuice was well on it's way. The jinxes the twins had applied to the application were quite inspired but no match for a man of his history. The resume he had written would be able to withstand any sort of truth or honesty charm or potion. The pranking resume of course was 100 truthful as were the number of detentions he had served at Hogwarts. Thanks to the Mauraders his detention history topped the twins total.
A week later an owl arrived during Dumbledore's weekly mandatory summer staff breakfast. The owl was a myriad of colors and had mischievous look about its eyes. It seemed almost proud of its rainbow plumage. It promptly presented himself to Snape who removed a small package from the owl with his wand. The owl seemed to give the man a sly wink at his actions and promptly took flight.
Leaving the box on the table the Professor removed the minor hexes that were immediately noticeable. He paid no mind to his colleagues questioning stares and a few minutes later he dumped a goblet of water over the unopened box.
It immediately steamed and turned into a gelatinous blob that rolled and spread for almost a minute before turning into a pair of identical red clay figures that spoke.
"Congratulations, you survived the booby traps to be worthy of being our summer intern here at WWW. "
"Your owl advised you would return to the UK a week from this Tuesday. As soon as your mum allows please floo to our store to commence your summer employment."
Every professor at the table stared at their youngest member. McGonagall was the first to speak.
"Severus what are you up to?"
"Albus advised me to take a few hours a day to relax."
McGonagall raises an eyebrow at the younger man, "Do either of those young men know to expect Severus Snape. Their former potions professor."
"No they await Alexander MonDragon who currently attends the Salem Institute in America."
Flitwick chuckled, "Severus I managed to remove all the charms from the application but how do you hope to pass for a student."
"Polyjuice potion. I set up a trade with my nephew. Some of his hair for one no questions asked legal potion."
"What of the honest resume charm then? Even though I had removed the charms and jinxes from the application my copy was returned to saying 'nice try Professor Flitwick'."
"I forgot to sign my name on the resume but all the detentions and pranks are exactly what I done through my sixth year."
At that statement McGonagall snorted, "Even the Weasley boys were unable to break your record or that of Sirus Black's."
"I plan to torture those boys this summer."
The chatter at the table resumes and the Potion's Master is given advice and ideas to consider inflicting on the Wesley twins. Flitwick had a thoughtful look on his face as he quite solemnly turned to his younger colleague.
"Severus, I'll give you twenty galleons to let me take your polyjuiced position with the twins for one day."
There is dead silence while Snape considers Flitwicks offer. Just as he is about to accept he hears McGonagall speak.
"Thirty."
"Forty."
"Fifty! I was their head of house! I need this!"
While a minor skirmish erupts between the heads of house and Poppy, Snape leans back into his chair and grins. Suddenly it's going to be a very good summer and apparently quite profitable.
He now had one reason to thank Sirius Black; honestly who knew that one thousand one hundred and twenty nine detentions would come in handy one day.
FIN
The number of detentions is quite possible if you attended a school ten months a year for seven years. I personally was the victim of Saturday detentions & one quite unforgettable Sunday detention when I attended public school; who knows what would have happened in a boarding school situation.