Demacia

"Garen...come find me...I need you...please..."

Garen woke with a start, flipping the covers off his body to find he was drenched in a cold sweat. The Might of Demacia had been plagued with these eerie, senseless dreams for a few weeks, but he could never make out the meaning they held. The first few times these dreams occurred, he dismissed them as irrelevant and meaningless, and resolved to stop eating sweets before bed. But after hearing that voice calling out for him night after night, Garen wondered if there was some sort of purpose to these dreams. After all, they weren't nightmares. The voice was soothing and the scenery was always dark, so these dreams gave him neither him joy nor fear. Yet – strangely – he felt the voice was calling to him in a sort of way.

After rinsing his face, the war hero decided the best way to handle this eerie feeling was to walk around the glorious land of Demacia. This was the land he so loved, his pride and joy, and the place he resolved to protect with all his heart. Perhaps just walking around the beautiful city would calm his troubled mind. After putting on some clothes (because he totally sleeps in the NUUUUUDE), Garen set out in the night across the city. There was a faint buzz coming from some bars and late night shops, but other than that and the occasional passerby, the city was quiet and serene.

A gust of wind picked up. "Garen..." The Might of Demacia turned, looking all around him. He was sure that he heard a voice calling for him – a voice that sounded exactly like the one in his dreams. Transfixed, he walked forward, trying to hear the voice again. He was sure this was real – someone out there needed him. "Garen...this is your calling..."

"Where are you?!" The soldier shouted. "Come out from the darkness, and I will guide you!"

A nearby door opened, and Garen turned, expecting to see the one calling out to him. Instead he was faced with Taric, wearing a disgruntled expression. "Shut the fuck up and quit yelling in the streets at night you damn Demacia freak!" With that, the gem man slammed the door shut.

"What a little bitchbaby.." The general grumbled. Suddenly, he fell to his knees. Demacia freak. Demacia...freak? De...mac...ia?

GAREN AQUIRED EPIPHANY

"It was always right there...in front of my eyes.." He mumbled. "It was you all along in my dreams, right, Lady Demacia?!"

The door opened again. "What did I say about yelling? How can I properly hammer Ezreal if you keep shouting right outside the hotel?"

Garen didn't care about the gem man. Calling upon his Judgment, he rushed forward into the streets, disregarding the few passerbys. "Lady Demacia! Is it I you call upon?"

"Yes Garen...I've been waiting for you for years..."

GAREN AQUIRED ROCK HARD ERECTION

"Lady Demacia, I do this for you!" He shouted.

GAREN RELINQUISHED CLOTHES

"MY HEART AND SWORD ALWAYS FOR DEMACIA!" Garen thrust his ROCK HARD ERECTION into everything Demacia had to offer. Nearby mailboxes, lampposts, fire hidrants, trees, everything was for Demacia. At that point, Garen realized his true love for Demacia.

"I WILL NOT FALTER!" Everything in sight was getting dicked. Garen never felt happier.

"Fear not, I'm coming!" He yelled at the top of his voice. The other people didn't exist. Garen did not care that the pedestrians were stopping and staring. This was his moment with Demacia. They couldn't take that away from him.

"D-DEMACIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Garen never felt so complete in his life. He was finally united with his one true love, Demacia-chan. "I love you, Demacia..." Garen mumbled, passing out onto the concrete.

THE NEXT DAY

In the morning of the next day, word had spread of Garen's love. Three meetings occurred in three different places.

Janna stood in the designated meeting spot, waiting somewhat impatiently for her informant to return. If she wouldn't arrive soon, she might witness a lightning bolt "accidentally" hit her secret colleague. "Where is that woman..?"

"I'm hereeeee.." The woman hissed, sneaking her arms around Janna as she revealed herself. The weather woman jumped in surprise, smacking Evelynn with her umbrella.

"You know how I hate it when you do that!" The blonde woman shouted, only to make her informant laugh. "So, what did you get from Demacia's capital?"

"Oh, I discovered a lotttttttt..."

"Evelynn, you speak like a fucking snake hooker. Do not tell me you've been spending time with that snake bitch."

"Cassiopeia is verrrrryyyyy bad in bed. No way I'm wasting my time on her now."

"Just hand over the photos." The Storm's Fury huffed, getting impatient with her informant's stalling.

"Here they aaaaareee..." Evelynn handed over the photos of Garen. The photographs showed him sticking his dick into literally everything in Demacia.

"Ew, even the dumpsters?"

"My money.." The Widowmaker hissed.

"Yeah yeah, here you go." Janna said, handing Evelynn a sack full of cash. "I'll call you next time I need any more info. I'll get these pics to my journalist friend, and I'll get you more of the profits when the papers start circulating."

"Onii-chan...why...?" Lux asked, staring at her brother through the bars of a jail cell. It seems Garen's public act of love didn't go unnoticed by the public, and he was soon arrested for public nudity and indecency. "I'll bail you out but...you really can't do this again."

Garen didn't care. His love with Demacia was real. However, he knew that doing this again would wind him up in jail. So he made a resolution to himself, that he would only act in complete secrecy with Demacia-senpai. He couldn't leave Demacia now that they were in love. But he had to act like things were over.

"I understand. This will not happen again."

"Good." Lux said. "I'll go pay your bail and you can come home soon."

Swain chuckled, sitting in his armchair and stroking his bird Beatrice. "That fool Garen was caught banging the city of Demacia...what an utter fuckup."

"CAW."

"I know Beatrice, there's nothing to worry about."

"CAW."

"I understand."

"CAW."

"Shut the fuck up."

…..

Swain stroked his bird, his mind going back into the past. His years have been good, yet this incident with the Crowngaurd man made him remember his beautiful moments with Noxus. "At least I'm not stupid enough to get caught." He said, taking a hit of a nearby bong. "I'll treat you better than he treats that skank Demacia, my dear Noxus-chan."