The flowers cut and brought inside
Black cars in a single line
Your family in suits and ties
And you're free
I couldn't understand why she'd died, why she'd taken her life. She'd been aching so, yet I thought we had agreed to stick this out together. We had promised to help each other through our troubles. Looking back, I suppose she'd been tired of trying.
The ache I feel inside
Is where the life has left your eyes
I'm alone for our last goodbye
But you're free
When she said goodbye for the last time, she was crying. I couldn't stand to see her cry, and I had put my arms around her, holding tight. Dark hair and cotton pressed against my nose, and the dirt under her nails made the moment feel safe and home-like despite the severity.
She'd pulled away and smiled through the tears, and I thought she'd decided to work harder at being happy.
I was wrong.
When I said goodbye, it was far less private, and I wasn't the only one trying to get in a last moment with you. I'd heard the whispers about how they found you, and I nearly lifted your wrist to peak at the scar that didn't quite go all the way around your thin-ness to show when they crossed your hands over your breast like those mummies in museums. Social decorum told me it would go badly if I started handling you in front of everyone else there, so I stepped back into the crowd before I got the urge to touch you again.
I remember you like yesterday
Yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone
Oh I remember you like yesterday
Yesterday
And until I'm with you, I carry on
It's so hard to forget what's been taken from you, especially so quickly and without much say. Losing you was like losing a limb, something that should have been there forever, and once it's gone, you're off balance and confused as to how to compensate.
There was no compensation for you. No amount of friends could ever fill the hole you's left. Not even having your favorite ring made up for your absence. In fact, it only made it that much more certain that you were never coming back.
Adrift on your ocean floor
I feel weightless numb and sore
A part of you and me is torn
You're free
I was glad that you had left your pain behind. At least, I wanted to think that you had buried it when they buried you. Part of me was angry that you had left me here to deal with all of my problems on top of the very biggest problem; that you weren't in my life anymore. That is to say, you weren't physically standing in front of me, holding me tight or pinching my cheek.
I woke from a dream last night
I dreamt that you were by my side
Reminding me I still had life
In me
It wasn't until a year ago come January that I had peace from you and all that was happening. It coincided with the entrance into my life of the most wonderful person I had ever met since you. And two weeks later, in that dream where you came to me, I was sure I could breathe easier, my love. I could carry on.
I remember you like yesterday I'll carry on, I'll carry on Every lament is a love song Every lament is a love song So long my friend, so long
Yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone
Oh I remember you like yesterday
Yesterday
And until I'm with you, I carry on
Yesterday, yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone
Yesterday, yesterday