Rating: - PG
Disclaimer: -If this were all mine, I'd seriously wonder about my arrogance problem. Anyway, it's not and I'm a nice person.
Spoilers: -Err…Baldur's Gate 1 and possibly 2.
Story Summary: - What can I say? This is the beginning of what I hope (pray and wish) will be a long piece of fan fiction. Not tremendously long that'll take me up to next Christmas but long enough to keep the readers interested. I can't say that the story is entirely my own and take the credit for it. No, this is the product of a debate I had with a friend of mine some months ago. We were debating whom Alianna, or the PC's mother actually was and what kind of character we would put to her. We developed all sorts of wacky ideas covering her personality to what drove her to become a Priestess of Bhaal. As the debate grew, so did my desire to write about it, or at least write the versions of what I feel went on during that time. Hey, I'm not saying this is right and I'm not saying this is what Black Isle had in mind when this was created but this is my version of things.
Author Note: - I can't believe that I wrote this…to this very day I can't believe that I wrote this…It's scary to know what comes out of my mind sometimes. When I first started out with this, I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I thought, "Great! Another one-shot fic and that'll be it!"…. Three chapters later and I was beginning to doubt my thought. As it grew, the story, which I wanted to develop, got deeper than I thought it would. I started imagining characters of my own and formulating a means of including them in the web Black Isle created. I wanted to delve deeper into the thoughts and feelings of a younger Gorian and find out what actually made him choose the child that he did. Hopefully, once I've finished the exploits in this short story there will be a follow up. This isn't exactly a story per-say…more like a Prologue to a bigger entanglement.
Genesis
The Prologue - How It All Began
Gorian slipped away from the bed. He had seen that far away look in Alianna's sleeping face before and could not bear to see it again. Instead of staying beside her, he walked over to the dark window and peered out of the glass that was the only barrier between him and the outside cold wind. The winds had picked up sharply since Alianna had returned from her visitation in the Southland's. Where had she been? She didn't like to answer when he asked, so he never asked any more. He pressed his hand against the glass and watched his breath form an icy shield and misty outline on the glass pane. Slowly, with his forefinger, he drew a line in the mist and placed a dot on either side of the line. Two dots separated by a line that ran between them, between two worlds. He knew that unconsciously, the line was the separation between Alianna and himself. They were so different, what had brought them together?
Taking a deep breath, Gorian rubbed out the mist and the picture with the sleeve of his shirt, feeling the material grow wet form the condensation. Now that the window was clear, he could see through it and down into the streets of Baldur's Gate. Even in the early hours of the morning, or the late hours of the night, the city still bustled with a life that was neither alive nor dead. He watched the people who walked from one end of the street to the next, their heads bowed, their minds elsewhere than the dank city, the capital pride of the Sword Coast. Their pride lost within the denizens of their workplace, shrouded in mystery from the world that bustled outside the city gates. There was no other place than Baldur's Gate, city of cities and home of the workman.
"I've seen that look before," Alianna's tender voice travelled from their bed.
Gorian looked over at Alianna, watching the way that she lay, propping her head up with one arm on the pillow and covering her naked self with the quilt that had only fell to her waist as she slept.
"I have a lot to…think about," Gorian replied slowly, turning away from her and back to the cold window.
There was a rustle from the bed as Alianna stood, wrapping the quilt around her Elven body and walking over to her lover, touching his shoulder comfortingly. Even then, his eyes did not look into hers, he only stared out of the window pane, looking forlorn and tired, even at his young age; he looked like an old and tired wise man cast out from his home in the high top trees of an Elven Temple.
"Gorian," Alianna began, "Please, come back to bed."
Gorian shook his handsome head; "I cannot sleep beside you."
Alianna felt hurt by this, "You cannot sleep beside me? Why?"
"The look on your face," Gorian replied, "You're never here with me, you're always some place else."
Alianna breathed out a short laugh, "Gorian, I love you. Why wouldn't I want to be here with you?"
She took his hand in hers and kissed his knuckles several times, "I'm sorry if I've been distant."
"It's…" Gorian sighed, "It's not just that. You're hiding something from me."
Alianna smiled warmly, "I thought it'd take you months to figure out."
Gorian looked at his love and raised an eyebrow, "I don't understand."
Taking his hand, Alianna placed it on her stomach and with her other hand, she softly caressed his nape at the back of his neck, tracing the outline of his hair with her fingertips.
"This is our child," Alianna said as Gorian moved his fingertips across her bare stomach, "This is the product of our love, Gorian. This is what I have been hiding."
Gorian couldn't help the small smile that came to his face. He was a father…he had a child. Between them they had a child. Maybe a boy or a girl, oh it didn't what sex it was as long as it was healthy and could…well maybe it could do magic, follow in it's father's footsteps perhaps, want to learn about the old ways just as he and his father did.
"We…we have a child?" Gorian asked, as if trying to establish the fact himself. "I-I'm a father? A parent?"
Alianna grinned, showing her perfect white glistening teeth and kissed Gorian slowly, "Yes, we are finally parents."
Gorian grinned again, a full-fledged grin that spanned from ear to ear. He gathered Alianna in his arms and lifted her off the ground, twirling her around the room, dancing as he would on light air, dancing as though he could stand on the water of the great oceans. He laughed, he smiled and everything seemed right again. Alianna laughed right along side him, rejoicing in their child's promises.
"We're going to have to move," Gorian said once he had set Alianna firmly back on her feet. "We must move into the country, maybe buy some land. We shouldn't be too far out in case we need anything for the birth so something in the Cloakwood would do nicely."
Alianna laughed, "It's a bit early, my love, but it is a nice thought isn't it? We are to be parents, you a father and I…a mother."
"This…this is sublime," Gorian replied, "Do we know? Which it is?"
Alianna shook her head, "No, I prefer not to know. I'd rather…wait and be surprised, wouldn't you? I mean, if we know it's one or the other, it could spoil it all."
"I know, I know," Gorian grinned, "At last, I'm going to be a father. I shall have to inform Jaheira and Khalid, perhaps Khelben and Elminster."
"No!" Alianna said quickly, "I'd rather that the news would keep between us…for now I mean. It's nice to know that it is our child, just for a while."
"I know what you mean," Gorian replied, "Yes, I agree. Let us keep the secret."
"I would like that," Alianna smiled, biting her bottom lip, showing her white teeth again.
Gorian hugged her close to him, breathing in the air that surrounded them both. The air of the three of them, together as a family. For some reason, he felt…unsure somehow. It was a thrilling feeling to be part of a family once again, to be together like this, to finally be a father to their child, but something felt off about the whole thing. He didn't want to believe it, that something could be wrong but he smiled and held it all in. Maybe he was just afraid of becoming what he'd always wanted to be, or maybe it was just the news of it all during an unsettling time.
"I think we should get back to bed," Alianna suggested, taking Gorian's hand and moving slowly and seductively towards their bed.
"Would you mind some company?" Gorian asked, moving to her as she lay down and propping himself over her on his elbows, keeping his weight off her as he lay on top of her radiating body.
"Not at all, my love," Alianna smiled again before claiming Gorian's lips with her own.
His dreams were peaceful that night, stored away from the night's harsh mistress and kept hidden from his own mind as he slept, thinking about the child that lay in his lover's belly, waiting and growing, getting ready to be birthed again into the world of reincarnation. It was near dawn when Alianna had shook him awake. She had complained of a stomach-ache and Gorian had laughed, saying that it was normal for women to experience such pain while with child. Nevertheless, she had pushed Gorian out of bed and swore that she wouldn't let him back in until he used his mage powers to make the pain better. Gorian, with much reluctance, went downstairs and stirred some liquid of his into some rose petal porridge, heated it then took it up to his lady love, handing it too her then climbing into bed.
"How was your sleep?" Alianna asked, spooning the pink porridge into her mouth.
Gorian turned onto the flat of his back and sighed, "Peaceful."
"I'm glad," Alianna replied, offering him some porridge but he declined.
"I had new visions to keep them at bay," Gorian said, moving his hand across Alianna's belly.
"I think I can guess what they were," Alianna chuckled, "What did you dream? Playing catch the fireball with your son or writing down scriptures with your daughter?"
Gorian shook his head, "Neither. I was simply thinking about how our lives will change once the child's born. We're both going to have to commit as much as possible, it means I have to stop travelling all over Faerun."
"It does," Alianna said, "I'll have to stop wrestling with Trolls on a daily basis and start eating food instead of nails."
Gorian laughed, "Must you make fun of me so?"
"If it makes me smile…" Alianna said, leaning across to him and kissing him lightly on his lips, "Then it's very good. You'll see in a few months, I won't smile in the slightest. The joys of being pregnant will get to me."
"Then poke fun all you wish," Gorian said, closing his eyes slowly.
He had barely begun to start breathing slowly and he could feel himself falling asleep when Alianna's voice came through to his ears once again.
"Gorian?" she asked carefully.
"Hmm?" Gorian replied, feeling sleep taking him slowly but steadily even as he spoke.
"I love you," she said, tracing a fingertip down the side of his face, "Please remember that, no matter what happens."
"I will," Gorian replied, taking hold of her hand and holding it close to his beating heart, "And I love you."
Alianna waited until she could hear Gorian's quiet breathing, she watched his chest rise and fall slowly with each breath as he slept, untold dreams lay waiting for him in his slumber, dreams that haunted him like a shadowed man.
Alianna softly caressed her growing belly where her child grew. She felt the small babe kick from her womb, kicking out, flexing his God-like muscles already. Two months old, seven months to grow and become strong within her belly then he would be released from her and be born into the clutches of the Lord of Murder. He would live no longer than a week. She knew and had appreciated the gift that Bhaal was giving to his priestess…the chance to birth one of his many children, the chance to excel herself as his servant. Bhaal would surely grant her favour after this, like he would with all mothers of his spawn.
But the child that she carried would surpass them all. He wouldn't grow, he would be the youngest of all his siblings but he would be the most powerful. No other Bhaalspawn would be able to rival her babe's strength. This, Alianna knew. When Bhaal had come to her as a man and impregnated her with his seed, he had reassured her that this child would be his equal from birth. This child would be the one to accept the throne of his kingdom, raise his dead father in spirit, causing chaos across the Realms for many centuries to come. She hadn't thought of a name yet. She knew that it would be a boy born, but a name was something that she hadn't even considered until now. She had friends who said that choosing a name for the child was becoming to close to the baby, developing an intimacy that would be her downfall. But there she sat, in her home on the Sword Coast, thinking about a name for her sacrificial child that lay in wait in her womb, lay waiting to be born under the name of Bhaal.
How could she sleep now? All the thoughts that ran freely through her head mingled with the thoughts of her child. She closed her eyes and felt a tear drop slowly cascade down her cheek. She couldn't sob; sobbing would wake Gorian and alert him to her. He would worry and she didn't want that. He had enough to worry about; he didn't need another thing to be heaped onto the already huge pile of issues.
Softly, she turned onto her side, placing the porridge dish on the bedside table and tried to sleep before the late dawn morning arrived.
Running through a centre, passing the Great Oak Tree on the left but he keeps running. Down the narrow corridors, white and pale with their paint glistening on all side of the wet walls, running through the white corridors and down, down into the depths of the temple. Further, he could keep going further and further, down and down, until he hit the centre of the Earth, the core in the depths but instead, he stops.
At the foot of the doors, he stops and looks around. Watching all that goes on around him, people floating in and out of this door, not noticing his presence. A man presides over it all, on a high stool with a large book, ticking and crossing off names that enter and exit. He feels compelled to talk to the man but instead, watches the people pass inward and outbound through the large door.
He goes to the door and touches it, feels the white metal glistening beneath his trembling fingers and sli8des a finger into all the carvings that appear slowly. Words, words and letters and numbers carved out on the mass of wood, slowly and surely forming sentences, proverbs, clauses, prophecies, songs, verses, choruses.
He tries to push the door but it doesn't budge. He tries to read the writing but it is no language that he has ever seen before. He tries to hit the door but rebounds off. He tries finally to run at the door but again, it will not move. The handle turns on the door and another person passes through, glancing once at him then moving toward the exit, the long corridor where he came down. He tries something new and tries to open the handle, he turns the knob slowly but it is locked so he forgets that.
He runs his finger round each of the carvings, trying to feel for words and letters that he understands, but nothing. All is meaningless to him, but still, he feels compelled to go inside, to feel what is inside this amazing world on the inner sanctum. What was inside? What secrets did it hold?
A large hand grasped at his clothing, a hand that was coming through the door, pulling him forward through the wooden door with such force. He'd never make it! The wooden door would flatten against him. Suddenly, the wooden door was falling, falling from it's invisible hinges, down onto him, collapsing onto his body, flattening him onto the ground but the large hand kept pulling even as the door started to fall…
Gorian flailed his hands out into the light. He opened his eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the light in the bedroom. It was early morning. He was all right, he wasn't dead…he was fine. He breathed easier and fell flat onto his back. The space next to him was empty; Alianna was already up. He looked up at the ceiling and tried to remember the dream. Strange that a door and a hand would come into it. He'd never dreamt of that before. The carvings had always been there, in all his dreams they were the same carvings. A language, an alphabet, writing in a God Like language that he didn't understand or could define.
If he knew the name of the language he could ask a priest or something but nothing ever came from the dream. The carvings would be there tomorrow night, but the language, the indecipherable language would remain the same. Locked away inside his mind, in the safe box that held everything he'd ever thought of. He covered his eyes with his forearm and tried to envision the carvings on the door again, on the objects that they'd always been present on. A door, a tree, the ground, a rock, a person… all strange objects. He'd seen the carvings before, he knew he had. They were familiar, not just from his dreams but from somewhere else. He'd seen them in life, carved somewhere, tattooed on someone, written on something…he knew that he had.
Throwing back the warm covers, Gorian stepped out of bed and slipped his feet into his leather lace sandals. He covered himself in the robe that hung form the bedpost and proceeded to walk down the wooden staircase of the house and into the living area.
When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he flattened himself against the wall and listened carefully. Someone was speaking at the doorway, two voices; one Alianna's sweet tone and the other were unfamiliar. He listened intently; trying not to make a sound as he slowly crept down the stairs, his back still against the wall, to his front was the railing of the staircase.
"We can provide for you," the unfamiliar voice said, a silky snake like tone that seemed as if it would hiss at any moment, "We are your family, Alianna."
"No, Cyrinol," Alianna replied, "I will not go back there until I'm ready."
There was a sigh, "Why do you stay here? Is it because of him?" Cyrinol asked.
Alianna shushed him; "He's upstairs so speak quietly. I don't know if he's awake or not."
"Answer my question," Cyrinol demanded, his voice hushed but still holding the same menacing tone as before. "Is it because of Gorian?"
"Yes," Alianna replied in a sigh, "It's because of him."
"No mortal ties," Cyrinol recited, "That was what you said, no mortal ties. No intimacies. You're falling in a trap, Alianna. Realise it…before it's too late."
The door slammed shut. Gorian could hear Alianna's stifled sobs coming from the hallway; he heard her body slump against the door. Part of him wanted to run back upstairs, the frightened little child that always remained even as you grow old, but the part that presided was his conscience. It told him to go to her, so he did. Carefully, he walked down the remaining stairs to the hallway. Alianna looked up from her lap as he entered. She had her knees drawn up to her chest and was sobbing into her lap. She tried to draw back all the tears before Gorian could see them but she failed. Gorian moved slowly towards her then knelt down beside her. He wrapped his arms around her trembling body and let her nestle her face into the crook of his neck.
"Calm yourself," he said quietly, "What in the world's wrong?"
Alianna shook her head; "It doesn't matter. Just some…old ghosts you could say."
"Skeletons in your closet?" Gorian joked, feeling Alianna slump against his as he held her.
Alianna chuckled a little through watery eyes, "Not so much skeletons as fully fledged people."
She sobbed again, the sob racking her body into a fit of spasms. Teardrops flowed down her cheeks and cascaded onto Gorian's robe.
"I'm sorry," she whimpered, "I'm so sorry."
"What for?" Gorian asked, pulling back slightly and looking at his love, "What on Earth could you be sorry for?"
Alianna's gaze dropped to the floorboards for a moment, "For…everything."
"Everything?" Gorian said, "Alianna, everything you've given me is all I could ever ask for. You really don't know how much you mean to me, do you?"
"No, I know only too well," she replied, "It's everything you mean to me and more. I shall have to leave soon, for the South, you know that, don't you?"
Gorian nodded ruefully, "Yes, I am aware of it. But why? Why so far?"
"Why so far south?" Alianna asked, raising her eyes to meet his, "It's…I guess it's like a pilgrimage…before the birth of my child. One that I must do alone and one that I cannot avoid. To avoid it…means to cast off the ways of my beliefs."
"I thought you did cast off your beliefs?" Gorian asked, "I thought you gave it all up when you came to live here?"
Alianna shook her head and wiped a tear from her eye, "I would no sooner give up on them than I would on you. I'd never ask you to give up your promise to the Harpers, so I don't expect me to give up mine."
"Oh," Gorian replied weakly, "You would not refuse them? Just as I would not refuse my own? What drives you forward in this? Your people gave up on you a long time ago, give up on them, on their Gods. You have…the world to see."
Alianna laughed, "You are asking me to follow a world of…traipsing monkeys? In this rotten time, I turn to my Gods. I'd rather you didn't say such things, my love. Do I ask you to forbid the mention of Sune? Of Silvanus?"
"Why a pilgrimage though? And where is it too, exactly?" Gorian questioned, furrowing his brow.
"Far in the South," Alianna replied, moving away from his arms, "There are no Harper Holds down that end so…Gorian, I'm not trying to threaten you, but I really need to do this alone, so please don't follow me."
Gorian sighed, defeated, "I only want to protect you, Alianna. There are many who would…commit unspeakable things to…to you."
"I know," Alianna replied, tracing her finger around his ear, "It's hard, for both of us."
It would be another moon before she would leave, another turn of the tide, another week or two then she would go, away from his arms and the bed in which they slept together. In the mornings, she would wake and see his tired eyes watching her from his sleep, waking from a pleasant dream only to realise the reality that was right before his eyes.
She was leaving him, and didn't know when she would be back.
They had talked and talked over the matter, yelled even, shouted, said something's that they both regretted but…in the long run it would all help him to get over her, should she never return to him.
Was she being selfish? Was she too cruel on him? Was the threat of Bhaal's child growing within her womb too much for her to bear? Thoughts raced around her mind as she tried to think of a hundred ways to stay, to stay safe and protected in Gorian's arms, away from the world, in a place that only they knew about.
But she knew that it wasn't to be. If it had been, if she meant for Gorian's love, then the fates wouldn't be tearing them apart. It was easier to believe that they weren't destined for one another than believe that it was her own choice, that she had free will.
Cyrinol had been back. He'd stayed over in Baldur's Gate, thinking of ways to bring her back with him, back to the temple in the South. She has found her reasons not to leave so soon. She had wanted to stay until the last remaining days, until she couldn't any longer and had to leave before the baby was born. Cyrinol had insisted that she follow him back but she has resisted him, blatantly told him that it wasn't her time, it wasn't time for her to go.
He had remained his usual self, calm and collected. He looked upon her as if she were one of his many concubines, an object not a person. His withering look shook her from inside, his dark grey eyes which were evil in their own right, so childish it was, to be afraid of his eyes but they frightened her truthfully. She wanted to run away from the door and find Gorian asleep in his bed, become safe and protected within hi strong arms, look into his eyes and see the world she had never seen in Cyrinol's.
"Be strong," she whispered to herself, looking out over the moon that shone from up high in the night's sky.
A strong feeling whipped around her face, streaming through her dark eyes and into her tainted soul. It was the calling from the others, the call of Bhaal from the South. They were tempting her, bringing her to the edge of insanity. Her blood pumped around her body, she was aware of everything around her on the windowsill where she sat. She could hear horses hooves moving swiftly down the narrow city passages and the hoot of an owl that flew past, blowing a thick breeze through her dark hair.
She drew one last breath then moved away from the windowsill. They couldn't take her that easily.
Days dragged on like decades, minutes like years. Gorian hadn't spoken a word to her in the last two days and had stayed away from her company as much as he could. He wouldn't be there in the evenings and wouldn't stay in her bed in the nights. She knew that he was expecting her to leave in the night, for him to wake up and find a blank bed beside him. She knew him too well.
It was three days now, three days and she would leave for the South. Three days to go, three days left with him. It wasn't fair to call her time 'with him' because he stayed away, making as little contact with her as possible. When he had come in the evenings, she smelt the Harper smoke on him, the tobacco that his friend liked to smoke. He'd said that he was with the Harpers, praying for her safe passage across the lands.
One night, however, as she was lying in bed, there was a clatter from downstairs.
She didn't think twice about leaping to her feet and rushing to her love's rescue, by whatever might be causing the fateful crash. She raced down the stairs and into the living room to find Gorian looking solemn and holding a piece of parchment in his shaking hands.
He heard her coming and whirled around, sending his clack flying behind him.
"What was the crash?" Alianna asked, moving over to Gorian.
He pointed to the window, the broken window with the shards of glass lying on the floor beneath the windowpane. A rock lay at Gorian's feet with a piece of long string beside it, cut with a knife for it was frayed.
"They've…found something in the south," Gorian whispered, holding the parchment out to her. She took it and read it through. "They've found a temple."
Alianna watched Gorian's eyes look over her with an air of superiority that she had never felt before from him. He watched her read it, a dark twinkle in his usually bright eyes.
"If you can call it a temple," he said, adding a small black laugh at the end, "A desecrated Church of Helm. Elminster thinks it's inhabited, Khelben thinks otherwise. They're debating on what to do."
"What do you mean?" Alianna asked, slightly breathless but she composed herself as the letter dropped from her fingertips onto the floorboards. Gorian didn't notice.
Gorian sighed, "They're calling for you, Alianna."
She gasped. He turned to face her, his face dark, his eyes even darker. The superior air about him was not the latter but disgust; deep and resentful growing inside of his breast.
"They're…" Alianna tried but her throat was closing up, she could barely breathe.
"They're calling for you," He repeated, turning from her and picking up the fallen parchment, folding it neatly and placed it on the small table, placing a paperweight on top. "You better answer them."
Tears were filling in her eyes, deep and sorrowful tears that cascaded down her cheeks. Her stomach hurt; the grown stomach full of a bonny child that wouldn't live much longer. Her chest ached, the thought of Gorian behaving this way toward her so…distant. So unlike her lover.
"Gorian…" she pleaded, falling to her knees before the man she loved, grasping at his robes, "Please, forgive me, please…"
Gorian lifted her to her feet and smiled a distant smile that just hurt even more to see, "Stop, Alianna. Just go, before…"
His gaze fell to the floor; the vulnerable Gorian she knew so well was hiding itself behind the stern exterior of the sage. He closed his eyes, trying to think of happy thoughts instead of the final reality of the world. His fate intertwined with his lover's, a dark fate intertwined with a dark destiny of a dark child.
"Please, just go," he whispered into her dark hair.
"Gorian, listen to me, please," she pleaded to his last ounce of vulnerability.
His gaze rose up once more, challenging her to stay, rising to her glistening eyes and defeating her hope of redemption in his mind. She was gone, like a passing season or a drum of wind. She was lost to him and she could never be found.
It was in that moment that his vulnerability shattered before her eyes and standing before her was a new man, a changed man, a man with a broken heart, broken hopes and broken dreams.
"Go," he said finally.
The horse tormented her with ever gallop of its hooves. Every mile it ran it ran faster each one, pacing her, testing her, taking her further away.
Alianna smiled a sad smile to the passing wind, to let it carry away the smile to some faraway place where another lost love would be sharing their smiles with a passing breeze. She took the small bottle from her belt and looked at the green liquid swirling around in the glass vial. A potion that she had picked up months ago, when she was travelling with a band of gypsies down the ribbon of Faerun's roads.
An alignment change potion.
A potion, she was told, that would change her thoughts forever. No more would she be a snivelling elf of light, a cast off from the elves she once called family. She would be beautiful in the eyes of the dark Gods once more, an instrument of terror to the people.
Such thoughts scared her. A potion that could change her personality, a potion that could change her forever. For a slight second, thoughts of Gorian filled her head, thoughts of him rejecting the new and powerful Alianna. He wouldn't want her after an alignment change. He loved her for being herself and not a priestess of Bhaal.
But it was too late for that, and in one fateful swoop, she drank the vial dry, licking her lips for the after taste of a sweet liquid.
A slight smile played upon her lips as the horse spurred on.