She remembers imagining that first time she found out she was pregnant, they joy and pride that would fill her being, how she would jog down the stairs into the arms of her husband and they would both cry in happiness.
She had never imagined it being like this.
She had never imagined she would be in the bathroom of her families new apartment in NY she had just moved with her family to get away from her mother's ex,. She never imagined that the father would be thousands of miles away in either LA or boulder singing with Kaylie maybe who knows what is going on , with an added ex in front of his former title of boyfriend. She never imagined her tears would be those of dread and sadness, rather than those of elation.
And yet, here she is, staring at a positive pregnancy test.
She sets the stick on the sink robotically, and then walks into her bedroom, hopping on her bed and curling into a ball. She feels her eyes tighten, tears that were lurking beginning to fall.
And despite everything, there is a part of her that can't help but be happy.
There is a part of her that can't help but flood with joy at the prospect of the little person growing inside her, made out of the pure love that had existed between two people.
"Your papa is going to be so excited," she says suddenly, laughing through her tears. "He's not going to be able to help himself."
And if it was anyone other than him, he wouldn't be Papa. He would be Daddy. But it is Damon , and Damon is a Papa if she ever saw one.
"I love you, little one," she whispers, looking down at her stomach. She can't help it. She loves him or her so much already.
"I love your papa, too," she admits begrudgingly, with a heavy sigh. "Just don't tell him I said so. At least not yet."
And she curls further into herself, rubbing slow circles over her abdomen.