This is the first chapter. Everything in italics is Momo's flashback of what had happened. Everything in normal text is Momo speaking, as this chapter is told from her point of view. Thank you for reading and please review to let me know what you think so far, if you have any suggestions, etc. Thanks again and enjoy!
I'm afraid of what will happen if he and I see each other. I'm afraid of what he'll say. Of how I'll react. Of how I feel. Oh, my stomach's tied in knots just from thinking about it. It's been over a week since we've last seen each other, which is sad considering how we used to see each other almost everyday. I can't help but feel so stupid. What was I thinking? Why would I ever tell him how I feel? I knew he wouldn't feel the same. Time after time I imagined how I wanted it to turn out: for him to have feelings for me as well, for him to love me back. But in my head, I knew this was only a fantasy and reality wouldn't grace me with such a wonderful thing. To fall in love with your best friend and to have your happiness wrecked by his rejection: that's my bitter reality. No matter how much I try to block the experience, it always seems to creep back into my mind and replay itself endlessly.
"Well Toshiro, the reason I asked you to meet me here tonight is because I have something to tell you" A red tint flooded Momo Hinamori's cheeks as she spoke.
"Yeah? What is it?" Toshiro Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow in suspicion.
"W-well," she stuttered, "I-I, kind of have feelings for you…"
"What?" Toshiro questioned.
"I'm in love with you Toshiro. I can't keep it a secret any longer" Toshiro was left speechless by Momo's bold statement.
"M-Momo… I…" Momo's heart began to sink as the usually cool 10th division Captain lost his composure. "I-I don't know what to say…" He finally spit out after a long pause. His face appeared to be writhing with pain.
"I-I knew it," tears began to swell up in Momo's chocolate eyes.
"It's not like that, it's just, it's just…" Once again, Toshiro was at a loss for words.
"It's what!?" Momo cried out.
"You don't want me". He simply stated.
"What? Why?" Momo sniffed.
"The problem isn't you it's me," He threw out one of the oldest lines in the book. "I can't give you what you need. What you deserve. I'll just push you away. You'll grow to hate me, to resent me for not giving you what you want. I'm incapable of love." Momo's eyes were still watering. "So you're better off just forgetting about me, okay?" Toshiro coldly snapped. The look on Momo's face showed that her heart had just been shattered at the hands of Toshiro Hitsugaya. "M-Momo…" Momo Hinamori took off as fast as she could, crying the whole way back to her place. "What have I done" The white-haired captain buried his face in his hands, for he had well-known exactly what he had just done: destroyed the longest and best friendship he had ever had.
How could I ever face him again after that? I'm so humiliated and sickened by all this. Not only have I completely embarrassed myself in front of him, but also I ruined our friendship. Things will never be the same between us and it's all my fault. I lost my best friend. Sure, I have other friends, but it's not the same. No one understands me like Toshiro does. Nobody gets me like he does. And I lost it all because I decided to have a little courage for once and open my mouth. I'm so stupid. Beyond stupid. There's no possible way to avoid him, not with all these captain and lieutenant meetings lately that are mandatory. I can't ever face him. Maybe I should just quit and hide in my bed forever. Okay, now I sound stupid. You can't do this Momo, c'mon. Be strong and independent. Don't let it phase you! You're stronger than this! … who am I kidding? This has ripped apart my whole world. I'm so in love with him. I know many question why, but I can see through his icy demeanor and into his soft, caring heart. But that night, that wasn't the Toshiro I knew. That wasn't the Toshiro I fell in love with. I don't know who that man was, but that man sealed off his heart and emotions completely. He was so cold, so uncaring. I can only hope that everything will work itself out eventually. Maybe this is all a dream and I'll wake up soon. Well, more like a nightmare. Someone please wake me up from this nightmare. Or maybe we can forget that this all even happened and go back to how things were. Both those are options are very unlikely to happen but a girl can dream, can't she? I just don't know what to do or what to think. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't function properly. This whole catastrophe is on my mind all day, every day. Well, I better try to get some sleep. I got a lot of work to do tomorrow morning. Maybe that can help keep my mind off all this.
Next chapter: Matsumoto confronts Toshiro about this whole mess and his true feelings are revealed.
Thanks for reading everyone! I'd really appreciate a review to let me know what you think!