AN: I've finally started fan fiction, or at least the writing my own stories. My first story although it was a good idea, seemed to fall flat and so I'm ready to start over with my next few stories. This story is something that I've been plotting and doing A LOT of research to finally start. I feel a bit silly that I have to continue to state that I don't own Supernatural or any of the CW characters HOWEVER I do own all rights and creativity to ALEXANDRIA LYNN TALBOT. I respect other writers by not taking their ideas and twisting them into my own so I would truly appreciate that people don't steal Alex from me. Although the story is labeled Sam/Alex I would like to straighten this our right now that the story is a Dean/Alex/Sam story. I am already pretty sure on who Alex is going to end up with, if she ends up with anyone at all, but please feel free to give me your opinion after every chapter on who you believe deserves her heart because I will be taking reviews to heart and considering every option for the story. Reviews are praised and thanks to all who are reading. Just a heads up this chapter will be unusually short but I promise the length will pick up in future chapters.
SUMMARY: They've lost everything and everyone but each other. With their lifestyles there is no room for mistakes, trust and certainly love.
RATED M: This story is rated M for a reason; STRONG LANGUAGE; SEXUAL CONTENT; SEXUAL ABUSE; and VIOLENCE.
PRELUDE:
There's this man, a man who's face I always forget, pushed as far to the back of my mind as I can. The dream is always the same and always uncontrollable. How can I fight someone I can't control? How can I fight something I don't understand? The questions repeat in my mind, hoping to stop this nightmare. I want to think it's something I've done so I can prevent it from happening again, so I can turn it around somehow. This man wants for no apparent reason, this man takes because he can. What had brought this man my way? I will never know, but there is no way that I know of to make him go. I worry he will make me lose myself with time, but there is no way to stop what isn't your choice. Screams are unheard. No one can stop something that isn't really happening. Something so hard goes straight to my soul, it seems impossible to get over and my heart is left with a big hole. I'm trying to be happy, wearing another fake smile; but I'm dying inside. The world seems to be fading and I just want to run and hide. Everywhere I go I see his face. My life is filled with harsh words and violent blows, hidden secrets that nobody knows. So many tricks and so many lies, too many whens and too many whys. Listening loudly to a silent scream; on my knees, alive but dead. I feel burnt out, wasted, empty and hollow. There are times when I'm afraid to close my eyes, afraid of the nightmares. Another day of grief, a day of fear. I try to justify all the pain, all of the guilt; just another day of confusion. Is he ever just going to go away? All this pain that I feel, and all this anger is it going to stay? My heart feels empty and I can't cry another tear. Silence builds an awful wreckage of a girl, it feeds on loneliness and creates a void. Gray shadows haunt and torment and torture, a teenager is stricken and destroyed. There is no sound of laughter or happiness here. Emptiness builds a home inside of me, confusion feeds like a savage inside. Leaving nothing considered worthy remains, destined to walk through life less ordinary; alone, exiled, different and disdained. I am lonely even though no one can tell, I try reaching out, for what I don't even know. I will continue to sit in silence and hope that someone may stumble across me and all of my emptiness. I only hope that someone finds me in time otherwise I might have drifted too far. I may have already let go of whatever grasp of the world I had. As I slowly fade out of the lives of everyone, nearly unnoticed. My name is Alexandria Talbot and my life is no dream. This man is no stranger, but my father. Time has only helped me come to one conclusion, there is no escape. The nightmare no longer fades, and the man's face becomes one I recognize too easily. I find it foolish to still hoped to be saved; My name is Alexandria Talbot and I find myself fading.