Hi! Radar-rox beta'd for me again on this one. I hope you like it, please review!
Howard was dragged out of his slumber by an excitable squeak, and blearily turned his head to see a flash of blue and a beguiling smile.
Feeling overwhelmed by the noise and light he closed his eyes again and wished to go back to sleep.
'Oh no you don't' said Vince excitably bouncing on the end of the bed, 'today is the day' he said in a sing-song voice.
The day…the day… thought Howard, trying to remember; it wasn't Vince's birthday was it? No, not for another month. Vince sighed and poked Howard till he opened his eyes.
'You said you would take me on a driving lesson' he grinned, nodding his head as if to reassure Howard. 'God' thought Howard, closing his eyes again, not today. He was so tired and after seeing Vince's energy he felt even more despondent.
This changed when he felt a smaller hand slide into his and Vince said 'please Howard' quietly. Howard's heart flipped and he went to sit up,.
'Okay then' he said, 'go and get changed.'
Vince tilted his head and laughed 'I'm ready!'
Howard forced back a tut and glanced at Vince's attire. He was wearing some kind of spray-on jeans and a neon pink tshirt saying 'STOP! In the name of Love' in glitter.
'That' he said firmly 'is not driving attire, you need calm beiges – possibly a warm apricot so you can be comfortable and yet able to fully concentrate on the road'.
Vince rolled his eyes and shoved Howard back onto the pillows.
'Nah' he said, sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, 'I need to match the car'.
Howard frowned, 'my car is not coloured like callgirl candy Sir' he said.
'Well' started Vince, trying to keep back a smile, 'that's why I got Naboo to like' he paused, 'change it. A bit'.
'What?!' shrieked Howard, getting up and looking around for some shoes.
'It looks genius' said Vince happily; oblivious to Howard who was now wearing mis-matching shoes, and deciding how he should kiss Vince…Kill Vince he thought hastily. I want to kill him, not kiss him.
Going pink he turned and walked into the hallway, with Vince bouncing behind him chatting about the new sound system and bumper stickers.
Howard walked outside and stopped in his tracks at the pink…monstrosity in front of him. Instead of his usual caramel car was a pink explosion, with glittery lightning stripes, painted sweets and cowboy boots.
'I painted a little bit for you' said Vince, resting his head on Howard's shoulder. Howard fought back a shiver and looked, and after a good 5 minutes he spotted a little splodgy heart and a musical note.
'Is that it?' he said hesitantly, feeling embarrassed at how pleased he was - Vince had just ruined his car and instead of being angry he was trying to stop feeling so soppy over Vince's painted drawing.
Vince mistook his comment as a complaint and moved back, leaving Howard feeling colder than before.
'Well' he said 'Naboo used magic, but I did that bit by myself'.
Howard didn't know what to say to this, his only possible reply would be to kiss Vince, but he couldn't do that so he just made a noise of agreement and cleared his throat.
'Vince' he started, standing up straighter. 'Before we even get inside the vehicle I will need to explain to you..' he trailed off, remembering he left his notes inside.
Howard came back out and looked around, where had Vince gone? A loud honk and the following squeal made it clear.
'Vince,' said Howard wearily, leaning to stick his head through the open window, 'you were supposed to be checking the tyres'. Vince nodded, trying to look earnest
'I did, they looked pretty good, all squishy' he concluded. Howard almost looked pained at this, but admitted defeat.
After placing the L plate on the car, he checked to see Vince was still trying to find his CD and walked back to run his hands over the little note and heart. Looking up he saw Naboo peering out of the window with a knowing smile, so, feeling embarrassed, he walked back and sat in the car.
This is weird, thought Vince, sitting in the driver's seat. He pushed one of the pedals experimentally, it felt strange. Usually he was sitting in the passenger seat, eating sweets and singing along to music, annoying Howard.
Vince peered at Howard, then, seeing him check his seatbelt was on for the 15th time, he hastily shook off the part of himself that wanted to lean over and sink into Howard, in the guise of 'checking the seatbelt.' Instead he looked into the mirror, checked his hair and waited.
Howard found his notes and began at the top, continuing until he saw Vince suddenly jolt forward, 'Vince' said Howard angrily 'you better not have just been asleep – this is incredibly important'.
Vince dazedly shook his head and blinked appealingly at Howard
'Sorry' he said, 'I am listening, promise'.
'Fine' said Howard, 'you can tell me what you would do at the end of the road?'
'I would first wave to Leroy' he said confidently, 'his girlfriend lives there, and he's usually washing her car outside, then' Vince continued, frowning in concentration 'I would check that my cd isn't going to run out before the next lights, I'd hate to be stuck with nothing to listen to until then'. With the question seemingly answered Vince turned to Howard with a bright smile, which faded as he saw the incredulous look on Howard's face.
'Was that…a bit wrong?' he ventured.
'Just a bit' signed Howard, 'I meant, more on giving way, that kind of thing'.
'Oh' said Vince, 'I know all that boring stuff, don't you remember that time you made me go to the library, and there was nothing there but Jackie Collins and the Highway code? I learnt all that ages ago – at the end of here I have the right of way' he peered to see clearly, 'then I would look in the mirror, indicate and turn, mirror-signal-manoeuvre' he said.
Howard's mouth gaped, and then he smiled happily at Vince, making his tummy flip - had he actually impressed Howard?
A few weeks later and Vince was becoming a capable driver, and Howard was secretly very proud of him. Seeing Vince drive, knowing he had helped him, made him feel happy, and just being able to spend this time with him made him even happier, although his heart always sank at the end of the lesson when Vince jumped out and went in to tell Bollo how it went.
Once he had kissed Howard's cheek shyly after a lesson and Howard had stayed in the car for a full 30 minutes after Vince had gone in a daze, until Naboo had knocked on the window and rolled his eyes at Howard's bemused grin.
But today however, something was wrong. Vince had got progressively worse of late, kept making little mistakes and looked pale.
'Anything the matter little man?' asked Howard, tensing a little as they narrowly dodged a lamppost.
'No' said Vince hurriedly. Not believing him, but not knowing how to go on, Howard closed his mouth and focused on the road.
Vince breathed out slowly; god knows what Howard thought of him now, making stupid mistakes after all this time. It was just so distracting to have Howard so close to him, he couldn't sleep properly for thinking about him and it was getting worse with every passing lesson.
Every time he moved to change gear, every time he saw Howard smile when he did something right, the time they had giggled when that pedestrian's skirt blew up in the breeze – he just felt a wave of happiness that slowly faded when the lesson ended and it was all over for another day.
Usually he made an excuse, like saying he needed to tell Bollo about parking in the car park, so Howard didn't see the disappointment on his face as he hopped out.
It wasn't like they didn't talk during the day, they still bickered all day in the shop, but in the car it felt like anything could happen, and that was dangerous. Vince knew Howard would never feel the same way about him, and he could never take advantage of his kindness by making him feel uncomfortable.
Sighing, he indicated, turning his head to check the lane beside him, which was empty; it was a narrow country road after all.
Vince felt his breath hitch as he saw Howard languorously stretch beside him, exposing a little stretch of tanned tummy.
Oh, thought Vince.
Then, darkness.
Ouch thought Vince, what did I drink last night?
When he tried to turn over and couldn't move, he started to panic, feeling his heart race as reality hit him. He was driving…he must have crashed.
Oh God. He felt his stomach lurch as he twisted the other way to see Howard.
Please god let him be okay he said over and over, feeling tears start.
Almost not wanting to check, Vince breathed out shakily and peered into the gloom. He could see a shape.
Feeling like he wanted to sob or be sick, Vince moved and turned the light on. After a second light filled the car and Vince could see that they had crashed into a tree.
Vince shifted and felt a wave of fear hit him as he saw Howard slumped over the dashboard. Making a silent prayer Vince touched Howard's shoulder and then drew back, feeling the tears stream down his cheeks as Howard moved.
'Thank God' he breathed.
Howard blinked and moved backwards, wincing as his shoulder ached uncomfortably; what had happened? Looking straight he saw a tree and his heart skipped - they had crashed. Turning to the left he nearly choked with relief as he saw Vince's anxious face peering back at him.
'I'm so sorry' said Vince, gulping for air through the sobs. Howard's heart broke.
'Oh Vince' he said, abandoning his discomfort to make Vince feel better, clicking off the seatbelt and leaning over to hold him.
'It's okay' he said gently 'it was just an accident'.
'Yeah, it was…' Vince trailed off, going red and burrowing his head into Howard's chest. 'A deer.'
'A deer?' said Howard in disbelief, 'I don't think there are many deer round here little man.'
'There are' said Vince, trying to hide the truth, 'It sort of leapt out, like Bambi looking for its Mum and I swerved to miss it.'
'Okay' said Howard, not believing Vince but not wanting to upset him, 'Well I guess we have to wait till the morning.'
'Here?' said Vince, feeling awkward. It was hard enough to lie near to Howard at night at home and not to touch him, not to just sit up and yell 'I LOVE you, you stupid Northern ponce'. It was going to be harder now, feeling cold and lonely and with Howard so close.
Howard too was considering this decision; Vince looked so beautiful under the dim light of the car, even more than usual. The tears had made his eyes glitter and he was still tightly holding onto his waist with shaking hands.
'I was so worried' said Vince, clutching anxiously, 'when I woke up, and you were just' he stopped and a tear rolled down his face, Howard wiped it away quickly, 'slumped there' he finished.
Howard felt guilty, he felt terrible for putting Vince through that, but so happy it wasn't him who had seen Vince like that. He didn't think he would have coped, seeing Vince seemingly lifeless.
The car fell silent as both men were lost in their own thoughts, but still holding onto each other. Outside an owl hooted and Vince jumped, making Howard laugh.
'Just an owl' he said, 'nothing to be scared of'.
Vince smiled back and yawned, 'Sleepy?' asked Howard gently, moving Vince's hands away from his waist, then smiling as Vince refused to let go.
'A bit' Vince admitted, letting go to look for the switch to recline the seat. 'It's not working' he said, turning to Howard, Howard leaned over him to check and Vince had to close his eyes and bit his lip to stop himself leaning forward to kiss him.
'Um' said Howard uncomfortably, 'you could always…share my seat'. Vince tried to look unenthusiastic but failed, turning away so he could grin.
'Yeah' he said, fake-casually looking out into the darkness. Howard felt his whole body go hot as Vince moved closer.
'Do you want a blanket or something?' asked Howard, there might be one in the boot...'
'No' said Vince quickly, then stopped as he tried to think of something to say apart from I'll just cuddle you.
'Because' he supplied lamely 'there might be bears outside…' Howard raised an eyebrow at this, but angled the chair back and shifted over so Vince could slide in beside him.
Vince told himself to calm down as he moved into the newly-vacant space, feeling his whole body relax as he felt Howard's chest against his, he snuggled down a bit and closed his eyes.
Howard managed to fall asleep shortly after, telling himself to always remember what it had felt like to fall asleep with Vince next to him. His last thought was a sort of prayer, a chant. Let me never forget.
Howard was woken by a horrible noise and a twisting figure in his arms; he woke up quickly, hearing an anguished cry. Vince was he was hot, moving shakily and murmuring under his breath; he was having a nightmare.
Feeling helpless Howard gently held Vince close and talked quietly into his ear, 'its okay Vince, wake up, it's me Howard'.
Vince opened his eyes and breathed rapidly, scared. Where was he? The dream was already fading, he just remembered the crash, seeing Howard lie there, checking his pulse, finding him dead.
Choking back a sob Vince held onto Howard, trying to convince himself that the nightmare was now over.
'I dreamt' said Vince, hiccupping 'that you had died'.
Vince leaned into Howard's chest and then tensed as he felt Howard gently kiss his forehead, nose, then his jaw. Raising his head slowly, feeling his heart pound he looked up to see Howard's expression, Howard looked worried.
'Sorry' he said, eyes darting about nervously, 'I was…just trying to help'.
Vince felt his heart do a jimmy flip as he realised Howard was lying. Maybe Howard did like him. Even if he didn't, he had learnt that you should always tell someone how you felt – before it's too late.
He took all the courage he possessed, and looked right into Howard's eyes.
'It's okay, I didn't mind…cause I really like you' he paused, feeling like he was going to faint. 'No, more than that Howard. I love you'
Howard felt like he was hearing this from a distance, a sort of echo. Maybe he was still dreaming. It took him a few more seconds before he realised Vince had leant forward.
Howard pinched himself…nothing changed, so he leaned forwards too.
'I love you Vince' said Howard quietly. 'I always have. Always'.
Vince closed his eyes and smiled dreamily, leaning in further to kiss Howard. Howard felt his heart do jimmy-flips and his chest tighten as Vince shifted in his lap as he kissed him and ran his hands through his hair, fingers weaving deftly through his curls.
Vince pulled back, making Howard let out a low moan of disappointment 'How long would it take a tow-truck to come do you think?' he asked, with a coy grin.
Back at the flat Naboo looked into his teacup and his eyes widened, Bollo looked over, 'Did Naboo find when Vince and Howard are coming?' he asked.
'Um' said Naboo 'sort of'.
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