Um. So I wrote this two weeks ago… and it's weirdly accurate.

This is practically a crack!fic. Let's pretend the office isn't as tense as normal in this anecdote, and Louis already apologized to Donna. Enjoy.

It was a tits out kind of day.

It was Donna's first day back. Her name had been cleared, that evil conniving lawyer that had framed her had been incapacitated, she had gotten her job back, and it was going to be a beautiful warm day. So what the hell? Why not.

She put on the lowest cut navy dress she could find, some especially sparkly earrings, a pair of Manolos she had managed to retain from her divorce, and headed to work.

It was the second longest elevator ride of her life; she repeatedly pressed the button to Pearson-Hardman's floor, as if she could urge it to go faster. If anyone tried to get in on the way up she would cut a bitch.

She strutted out of the elevator, flipping her hair over her shoulder with a dramatic flourish and winked lasciviously at a passing intern, who promptly dropped his stack of copies. She took a moment to mentally pat herself on the back.

Her newly restored colleagues welcomed her back gratefully; Harvey had been such a pain in the ass when she wasn't around. They awarded her with amateur cookies and pretentious gourmet cupcakes, but Donna didn't discriminate. She ate them all for breakfast anyway.

She approached her desk with atypical enthusiasm. Jessica and Harvey were hunched over his desk, discussing serious things with serious expressions. The constant drama hadn't ceased in her absence.

It looked like Harvey had picked up her dry cleaning, was hanging on the coat rack she kept in the corner of her cubicle. Donna grinned. She planned on dragging his guilt trip out as long as possible.

It was a nice garment bag too, black and clearly high quality. Only Harvey would think details like that mattered. She rolled her eyes and unzipped it

Donna dropped the lumpy cookie she had been nibbling on. (It made a rather unattractive thump as it hit the industrial carpeting.)

Because the article of clothing wasn't hers.

It was a red gown. A red Valentino Garavani haute couture evening dress, to be precise.

She closed it immediately and furtively scanned the bullpen. She barely had it open for a full second, but she wanted to make sure it hadn't caught anyone's attention. Mike in particular had a tendency to magically appear at inconvenient times.

Donna took a deep breath and smoothed down her flawless curls. She collapsed into her chair and did her best to pretend she hadn't noticed the presence of what she had stupidly assumed was her own dry cleaning. A glance into Harvey's office told her he was still preoccupied. She tried to sort out all the work she had missed, but she just couldn't focus. Her eyes were continuously drawn back to the mysterious gift that had materialized in her work space. It had to be a gift; there was no other plausible explanation. It was extravagant, outrageous- even for Harvey. Did he honestly think he could make up for nearly ruining her life through material bribery?

"Seriously, Harvey?" She grumbled under her breath while sorting accumulated sticky notes.

She wouldn't accept. She couldn't.

But she wanted it. Badly.

He knew her too well, damn him.

He had always known she had expensive taste.

It was no secret. She wasn't exactly subtle. Donna was a gold digger. She wanted things she couldn't have. Her stock broker ex-husband was all too aware of it. Harvey pointed this out to her during her contentious divorce proceedings. "Guilty as charged." She had announced, presenting her wrists to him. Usually Harvey didn't concern himself with something as petty as family law, but her husband was a wealthy man and an important client of Jessica's. (Six months later he lost $600 million of someone else's money in reckless trades and disappeared shortly thereafter.) Harvey had somehow convinced her husband to bequeath a settlement to her, it wasn't insignificant but it wasn't enough to live on either.

And it certainly wasn't enough for her to afford a Valentino gown.

Donna was carving obscenities onto the hood of the bastard's pompous Bentley when Harvey walked up behind her, hands casually resting in his pockets. "I just got promoted at the DA's office." He told her. She was too startled to come up with a snarky response. "If you want a job, I'm in desperate need of a secretary." He offered her his card.

"I'm not meant to be anyone's secretary. I went to Barnard to find myself a Columbia man, damn it!" Harvey raised a suspicious eyebrow. "Also, fuck the patriarchy." She added as an afterthought.

"That settlement won't be enough to keep you outfitted in those Louboutins you prefer." He gestured to his card again. "Take it. If you change your mind, give me a call."

"You're not going to tell anyone, are you?" She looked back at her offensive handiwork.

Harvey shrugged. "The dick deserves it." And for the first time in her life Donna swallowed her pride and took his card. She had never regretted that decision.

She chugged half of her latte and sighed. Her day had started off so well until this happened. It was bothering her far more than it should. She typed a few letters into her expansive spread sheet of dates before giving up.

She looked into Harvey's office again, where Mike was slouching on the sofa with his palm covering his face, doubtlessly whining again.

Donna only hesitated for a moment before rolling her chair back Mission Impossible style to steal another glance at the dress.

It was radiant, crimson silk that made her heart drop. How could she possibly reject it? This time a scrap of scented paper fell from its luxurious folds. Sorry. It read simply in Harvey's slanted script. She rubbed her temples anxiously. She didn't know what to make of this situation. He had already apologized profusely, this was really unnecessary.

It was absolutely unnecessary.

Donna launched herself out of her chair and vaulted toward Rachael's office. She wasn't going to get anything done anyway.

"Oh hey Donna. Welcome back." Rachel smiled at her briefly before returning to her work. She looked too busy to pay attention to what she had to say.

"So Harvey gave me an apology present." Donna decided to try nevertheless.

"Hm. Good. You should take his corporate card again and we'll go out tonight for drinks."

"Fantastic idea, I'll get right on that." Donna nodded unquestioningly.

"So what was the gift?" Rachel shuffled trough some more papers.

"Just a dress. You know." Donna laughed dismissively.

Rachel made an understanding noise. "That's good. I liked the last one he got you, too. The gold Lanvin? You should wear it more often."

"But don't you think it's weird?" Donna blurted out. "I mean, it's beautiful red satin and everything but it's just excessive! How does he even know how to buy a dress?" Donna wondered aloud, pacing unconsciously.

Rachel moved a stack of law books. "Harvey's a classy guy who happens to know that red looks spectacular on red heads." Rachel shrugged. "It honestly doesn't surprise me at all. He has good taste."

"But you don't think it's strange that my boss is buying me stuff? Even if his antics did almost ruin my life?" She asked, trying to keep her concern hidden by twirling her hair and acting generally disinterested.

Rachel shrugged. "Not for you and Harvey." Donna felt all the blood rush out of her cheeks. "Do you mind bringing these to Harold? I try to avoid him as much as possible. I know he's harmless, but he seriously creeps me out."

"Yeah sure." Donna replied blankly, accepting the stuffed folder and leaving Rachel to work on whatever was more important than this crisis. Why did this gift seem more significant than an apology? And by giving her a dress was Harvey suggesting he actually wanted to see her in it?

She found the unfortunate associate cowering fearfully in the break room, pouring over a few dozen folders exactly like the one Donna was delivering. She dropped it on the table and he sighed heavily.

"From Rachel." Donna announced. "You're welcome."

"Thanks. I owe you one!" He grinned meekly.

"Got a cigarette?" She raised her eyebrows expectantly.

"No. But I can get you a decent martini." He suggested casually.

"Right now?" Donna asked suspiciously.

He nodded.

"How, exactly?"

"I know a place."

Ten minutes later, Donna is sitting in between two narrow bookshelves in the back of the law library with an associate who had seemed dimwitted and lacking ingenuity until just now.

"I had no idea you were such a badass Harold." Donna mused while Harold was applying salt to the rim of a martini glass.

"I'm a privileged Harvard asshole. What'd you expect?" He snorted.

"Touché." She nodded, accepting some kind of creatively concocted cocktail.

"I like you this side of you, Harry." She declared.

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes. "Cheers!"

Donna managed to escape Harold shortly after, and the niggling thought of Harvey's gift wouldn't stop torturing her.

She needed a second opinion. Louis was at the very least metro-sexual. Surely he could help explain.

Norma waved her through wordlessly.

"Louis!" She barked. He looked up from where he was contemplating why the universe and the firm (really just the firm) was so cruel to him.

"What?" He shouted, trying not to look surprised.

"Louis I need your superior wisdom." She said with mock reverence.

"Continue groveling and I will consider it." He steepled his fingers.

"Say a certain male friend gives you a really expensive, possibly one of a kind gift."

"Okay."

"What does it mean?" She widened her eyes pleadingly.

He narrowed his eyes at her and bared his rat teeth. "It's a grand gesture. He wants you to marry him and have his children. Why? Are congratulations in order?"

"Psh. No." Donna scoffed. She felt a spiteful blush rising. "You really are useless." She spat defensively before stomping out of his office. Louis immediately returned to moping.

Donna was a quarter of the way down the hall when a seemingly brilliant idea struck her. She turned around and headed back to Norma.

"Norma. Say your boss gives you a generous gift."

"Like a bag of those airplane peanuts leftover from his flight?" She queried, expression unreadable.

"What?" Donna did a double take. "No! Like..."

"Like half a day off to go to your mother's funeral in Arkansas?"

"Ugh. Nevermind." Donna threw her hands up in surrender and walked away. She should have known better than to ask Louis' PA for guidance.

On her way back to her desk, someone called her name urgently. It was Jessica Pearson, waving to her from within her office.

Donna exhaled loudly and went inside. "Hi. What can I do for you." She said listlessly.

"I just wanted to personally welcome you back into our circle of trust and apologize for the dreadful situation this firm's oversights put you in. I assure you, similar misunderstandings will not occur in the future."

"Yeah it's okay, it's all in the past, we can move on now etcetera, etcetera." Donna couldn't stand to listen to her obviously recited discourse.

Jessica looked relieved. "How is your first day back?" She asked, pouring tea.

"Um, interesting. Definitely interesting." Donna pushed a stray strand of red hair behind her ear.

Jessica eyed her warily. Her Harvey senses were activating. "He said he would make it up to you."

"Well he's trying." Donna allowed, forcing a painful smile. Jessica looked increasingly unconvinced.

"I'll talk to him." Jessica sighed and sipped her tea.

"No, no, that's not necessary!" Donna laughed nervously.

"Well… let me know if you need anything." She said suspiciously.

"I certainly will!" Donna said with a bit too much enthusiasm before seeking refuge at her desk. Once she sat down she started typing furiously, focusing in on the glow of her monitor and shutting out everything on the periphery. When she finally looked up it was because Mike was there, staring at her expectantly.

"What?" She snarled.

"Where have you been all day? It's your first day back and you're nowhere to be found." Donna groaned into her folded arms. "Use your words." Mike reminded her helpfully.

"I've just had a lot on my mind." She said,

"Humor me." Mike hitched his messenger bag higher up his shoulder.

"Oh no. Don't start doing that perceptive bullshit where you figure out exactly what is going on through the power of logical analysis."

"Have you talked to Harvey today?" Mike inquired, perceptively.

"No." She grumbled. "I have a lot to catch up on." She scribbled something on a magenta post-it and slapped it violently onto the side of her cubicle. "The god damn temp fucked up my entire system."

"If there's anyone who can decode a bureaucratic filing system it's you!" He said cheerfully. She glared at him while continuing to scribble on post-its. "Look," He lowered his voice and peered over his shoulder. "You two have been together for a really long time and if you don't work this out soon, I'm pretty sure the balance of the universe will be irreparably damaged."

"Leave." She demanded.

"Oh. Uh- okay." Mike cowered and shuffled off down the hall, she didn't stop glaring at him until he was well out of sight.

So by the end of the day, Donna was questioning her life choices for the second time in as many weeks, wondering if coming back to Pearson Hardman was a mistake, and coming to the realization that everyone understood her relationship with her boss better than she did.

Harvey left before her for once, he and Mike had just settled a case with their usual finesse.

"Did you try it on yet?" He inclined his head toward where the dress was hanging.

"Um." Donna froze like a frightened bunny rabbit. "No?"

"You should. I want to make sure I got your measurements right."

Oh god. Oh god. He had her measurements? It shouldn't have surprised her, Harvey could effortlessly acquire any information he desired. She just couldn't believe he had gone through the trouble.

"You had it tailored?" She squeaked.

"Of course." He casually lit a celebratory cigar. "I'm not a heathen, Donna. Good night."

"Good night." She said absently.

Donna had enough. She grabbed the dress and marched into Rachel's office.

"Rachel, I have a problem." Rachel looked up from her stack of papers and took off her pretentious hipster glasses. "I may have understated the apology gift."

"Donna, what…?"

She opened the garment bag with a dramatic flourish.

"Shit." Rachel breathed.

"I know!" Donna assented, collapsing into a chair.

"Is that a…?"

"Yes."

"This is serious."

"I know!" Donna wailed. Neither of them spoke for several seconds. "So what do I do?"

"Drinks?" Rachel inquired tentatively.

"Hell yes."

On Donna's second day back at work, she woke up in her bathtub. She drank a liter of coffee, put on the first thing she pulled out of her closet along with some sunglasses and went to work.

"Hey, are you alright?" Rachel was standing over her desk looking concerned. They had hopped around to a few bars before concluding the night at Donna's apartment, where she had finally tried on the dress and promptly started crying. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't.

"Fine." Donna said tersely, draining her cappuccino.

"Really? Because when I left…"

"Really, I'll be okay, just give it a few hours." Donna whispered, still wearing her sunglasses.

"What are you going to do about the dress?" Rachel asked quietly.

"I'll talk to Harvey as soon as I get my voice back." She said hoarsely.

Rachel favored her with a sympathetic glance before returning to her office.

Harvey finally sauntered in half an hour later. She quickly removed her sunglasses and winced. Donna took a deep breath and followed him into her office. She didn't want to give herself time to think this over.

"Specter. I have to talk to you. It's about the dress." Harvey placed his briefcase on the desk and looked up at her.

"Do you want matching shoes?" He asked earnestly. "The boutique didn't stock them in your size."

Donna blinked. "What? No! Shut up! It looks fantastic. You knew it would look fantastic." She accused him. He smirked like the self-satisfied bastard he always was. "You are so smug right now. Even your mole is smug."

"It's not a mole, it's a beauty mark."

"Okay Marilyn." Harvey seemed pleased with the quip.

They stared at each other. Harvey still smirking, Donna biting her lip in frustration.

"Why did you give me the dress Harvey?" She asked, clearly tortured.

"I wanted to apologize." He shrugged.

"That was a non-apology apology!" Donna threw her arms up in outrage. "I can't possibly accept it!"

"Do you want it?"

"Harvey of course I do! You know me, I can't resist owning a dress that's meant to be in a museum somewhere!"

"There's no reason for you to be deprived of the things you want." His muted tone implied a sincerity he didn't often express. "And you know technically, it should be in a museum."

"I don't even know what I would wear it to!" She scoffed. "I'm not getting invited to the Met Gala anytime soon." Donna crossed her arms and turned away from him.

"Well, actually…"

Donna spun around. "What? Are you kidding me?"

"I kinda know a girl at Conde Nast." He was smirking again. "I have two tickets. You should come with me." He raised an infuriating eyebrow.

"That's not a question." She snapped.

Harvey rolled his eyes. "Would you like to come with me?" He corrected himself.

"Ugh. Taking your secretary to a charity gala? That is so cliché."

"Well if you would rather not go I could always ask…"

"Wait! I haven't given you an answer yet!"

A slow smile spread across Harvey's stupid face.

"I will carefully consider your offer." She said diplomatically.

"Or you could just say yes."

"Yeah, okay." She said a little too quickly.

"Excellent! And Donna, I'm really sorry. You know that right? I need you here and I'm grateful that you-"

"Please stop. Feelings give me indigestion."

"Oh thank god, me too." He said, clearly relieved he didn't have to finish that sentence. "It appears we are well suited to each other." He continued to smile.

"Glad we are in agreement. But you know I'm going to need those shoes now."

"Certainly." He beamed at her.

She nodded, gracefully exiting his office. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't resist smiling for the rest of the day.

Sorry for the lame ending, I was in a rush to finish this before the storyline became irrelevant. This is a oneshot.

In my eyes, Donna is a feminist hero.

Reviews are much appreciated!